Scolded in the toy store

[CherryBombMama]

I went to a small toy store today, that is actually quite large, but nothing like those big chain toys stores, and I was scolded repeatedly by the worker there (quite possibly she could be owner. It was just her there.) I can't figure out if I did something wrong, or if she just had a problem.

The store looks like a really large house, with "rooms" and everything, but no doors separating the rooms. Very "open concept" but with lots of medium high bookshelves (to my shoulder, I am 5'5") and its almost maze-like when you walk around. There are many over sized super comfy chairs, a train table with many trains, lots of stuffies and vines and model airplanes hanging from the ceiling, and MANY toys, none in boxes, on the floor and resting on shelves. 

I met up with a friend there specifically to do some Christmas shopping. Not to meet up and play, but to buy toys for five specific kids that I needed to buy things for. I have a 2yr old and a 16m old, she has a 18m old. All boys. The boys were beyond calm, which I didn't expect, but this worker was so upset that they were touching toys. Not playing with the toys (except for the train table, which WAS there so they could play) I looked around that particular section a bit, the boys played on the train table, I was chatting with my friend, and when I couldnt find anything, I took the boys to another section. This section had a ball on the floor. My ds2 picked up the ball while my ds1 picked up a dinosaur egg that I was intending to buy (I told him we would get him one before we went there.) 

(EDIT: ^^ I think I was thinking too fast for me to type. This paragraph sounds jumbled. I meant to say there weren't playing with the toys, just slightly touching it on the shelves/floor, then moving on to each other, or me, or their friend...)

While I was in this one spot, with my friend not too far behind, looking for things for herself and looking after her ds, this lady kept running back and forth, saying not to touch the toys, dont play with the toys, this is a STORE, not a play area, this isnt a Mommy and Me class. She said Mommy and Me three times to us, while we were infront of the dinosaur section for just a minute or two. My boys touched 1) The dinosaur egg that we were going to buy, and did buy and 2) the ball on the floor. I touched more things than they did but because I was looking for a present. 

She even offered me a stroller so they wouldn't "touch" things  which at that point the boys were hugging my legs because this stranger was using a stern voice towards us so they weren't touching a thing. 

A whole other incident happened at check out when there was a big inflatable hamster ball thing that the boys all wanted to get into. The lady said it was fine if they took off their shoes, which they did. But once they got in there, they could only read, not play. It's not THAT kind of store, she said. 

Now, I don't think my boys did anything wrong but do people expect toddlers to literally not touch a thing in a toy store? Or to ONLY touch the train table. 

Im just really pissed. She told me she had a table were they could touch the toys (didn't say train table) so I went to the nearest table with open toys and she pounced on us and said, "THOSE aren't touchable!" 

Edited by CherryBombMama - 12/22/11 at 2:04pm

[captain optimism]

This is a job for Yelp. You go on Yelp and leave a review of the toy store. You mention that the person working in the store scolded your children for looking like they might play with the toys. Put everything in that you put here. 

I know, it sounds vengeful, but it would be good if other moms in your area didn't make the mistake of shopping for toys in a toy store where children aren't welcome! 

[CherryBombMama]

Originally Posted by captain optimism 

This is a job for Yelp. You go on Yelp and leave a review of the toy store. You mention that the person working in the store scolded your children for looking like they might play with the toys. Put everything in that you put here. 

I know, it sounds vengeful, but it would be good if other moms in your area didn't make the mistake of shopping for toys in a toy store where children aren't welcome! 

I did, thank you. It seems the woman is the owner and she has another negative review for this exact same behavior. 

[DsMamma]

Sounds like she opened the wrong type of business.  Also, if she's concerned about kids touching the toys, then maybe she should change her displays so they aren't all so low.  Kids playing with toys that parents have no intention of buying is one thing, but simply touching is another.

[Adaline'sMama]

I own a retail store. Dont put anything below hip/shoulder height if you dont want kids to touch it. There is a pretty thick line between letting kids touch things and parents who wont watch their kids and let them drag all your merchandise all over the store and ruin it. With things like toys out of boxes, stuffed animals, ect they should be up off the floor. Im not even a toy store and I have an area for stuff kids are allowed to play with, just because it means that the parents hang out longer and are more likely to buy stuff if their kids are entertained.

The shopkeep sounds like a biotch. I would write her an email explaining that her rudeness has made you unwilling to shop there and you encourage her to rearrange the store so that you can return and tell other people what a great toystore it is. Until then, you wont be back. If someone wrote me an email like that, I would really reconsider my setup. But, she sounds like she is miserable running a toystore.

[rtjunker]

It seems absurd that children were not welcome in a TOY STORE. That behavior from the owner would keep me from ever returning, and I would have left without buying anything.

[lilbsmama]

I would have been livid, and probably NOT nice. Who the hell opens a toy store and doesn't allow kids to touch them? I would have brought everything up to the register, told her this is how much money she just lost, and left.

[MommyofNRM]

Originally Posted by lilbsmama 

I would have been livid, and probably NOT nice. Who the hell opens a toy store and doesn't allow kids to touch them? I would have brought everything up to the register, told her this is how much money she just lost, and left.

  If you have a problem with kids touching toys in a TOY STORE, you're in the wrong business lady! I don't appreciate anyone scolding my child, let alone me. I would've flipped out and left. I agree with another PP about writing an email telling her how you felt. She should know she will lose customers with that type of behavior. Sorry that happened to you! 

[swd12422]

I don't have any idea why she would act like that in a TOY store, and why on earth you would actually buy anything from her after she treated you and your kids that way!

[CherryBombMama]

Originally Posted by Adaline'sMama 

I own a retail store. Dont put anything below hip/shoulder height if you dont want kids to touch it. There is a pretty thick line between letting kids touch things and parents who wont watch their kids and let them drag all your merchandise all over the store and ruin it. With things like toys out of boxes, stuffed animals, ect they should be up off the floor. Im not even a toy store and I have an area for stuff kids are allowed to play with, just because it means that the parents hang out longer and are more likely to buy stuff if their kids are entertained.
The shopkeep sounds like a biotch. I would write her an email explaining that her rudeness has made you unwilling to shop there and you encourage her to rearrange the store so that you can return and tell other people what a great toystore it is. Until then, you wont be back. If someone wrote me an email like that, I would really reconsider my setup. But, she sounds like she is miserable running a toystore.

I will, thank you for the idea! 
 

Originally Posted by lilbsmama 

I would have been livid, and probably NOT nice. Who the hell opens a toy store and doesn't allow kids to touch them? I would have brought everything up to the register, told her this is how much money she just lost, and left.

I was actually just shocked speechless and it wasnt until after I paid for things and left that I felt really angry. I  WISH that I would have done this ^
 

[meemee]

well mama i would look at the whole big picture. 

i am assuming this toy store has been in business a while? a few months? they didnt just open up. i assume they know what they are doing. in fact in the local toy shops i see nothing that is as high as adult waist level.

i would give the toy store the benefit of the doubt. 

i am sorry. i know you are pissed off. what she did wasnt right. but we all have been biotches havent we? we've yelled at the wrong person multiple times havent we when we have been stressed out.

this is the season for this exact situation to play out. 

i am sure working at a toy store at this time of the season is the biggest nightmare even for someone like me if it was my job to keep things in place. 

who knows what's up ya know?!!! store teethering on the side of closing down? worker just found out her friend has cancer? she was given her lay off day? or store bombarded by the exact kind of mom and kids you were NOT, who touched and moved and dragged everything but bought nothing. 

i want you to know that i hear you. you have every reason to be pissed off. 

but in today's world where the majority of 99% is living so close to the edge i would give them a second chance. i would vent and get it off my chest like you are doing here but that is as far as i would go. i would go back later and find out if this was regular customer service or it was one of those very bad moments. 

who knows. she might be writing on a board somewhere feeling terrible for yelling at someone who did not deserve it. i know what it feels like. the worst part for me has been that i yelled at the nicest person i have ever met who definitely didnt deserve to hear that tone of voice from me. 

i have discovered every. single. time. i have acted in anger i have acted in ways i have been ashamed of afterwards. i try my level best never to act out in anger - even if my anger was reasonable. politely demanding my rights have always gotten me what i need. 

[DariusMom]

There's a toy store like that in my town. I don't shop there anymore and told them why, too!

I love to support smaller, independent retailers (my sister and brother-in-law are small business owners so I'm passionate about this!). However, I don't expect to be told off in a toy store when my small child just touches something (not pulls it off the shelf, doesn't put it in his mouth, just pokes it gently). Thankfully, there's another small independent toy store in my town and we go there.

Good that you left them a negative review. Hopefully they'll get the message!

[NYCVeg]

We shop at lots of local toys stores locally and where my parents live and I've NEVER seen behavior like that. Sometimes I think dd is being too touchy-feely with stuff, and the clerks almost always go out of their way to tell me it's fine for her to touch things! Honestly, letting the kids gently handle stuff is good for business--I can't tell you how many times grandma has purchased a toy b/c dd picked it up and seemed fascinated by it.

[rubidoux]

I wouldn't go back.  We have a small locally owned toy store here with nice kind of upscale toys and they have some open and the point is for the kids to be able to touch and play (and tell their parents how much they want one!) and they're fine with it.  She doesn't *have* to be that way.  And I agree she might have considered a different sort of store if she was prone to being that way.  It sounds like a miserable place to go!

[CherryBombMama]

I email them a long letter, questioning why they have so many toys opened and put at eye level and even on the floor. I forgot to write here that they had a "no stroller" sign out in the front, so i mentioned that in the email and wrote how i was offended that the woman offered to put my children in *her* stroller so as not to touch merchandise. I mean, I had a double stroller in my car. Oh well :) 

I guess it got me thinking, "Do I let my children touch too many things in stores?!" because they are toddlers and I am kinda young, early 20s, so I feel like I am still learning "adult" manners for myself, and then "boundaries/manners/expectations/developmentally appropriate things regarding children" all at the same time. Live and learn =D 

Anyways, thank you everybody. I needed the reassurance.

[Katwoman]

but in today's world where the majority of 99% is living so close to the edge i would give them a second chance. i would vent and get it off my chest like you are doing here but that is as far as i would go. i would go back later and find out if this was regular customer service or it was one of those very bad moments.

I'm not actually directing my comments to this poster, just the general idea quoted.

Really?  Are we individual people responsible for the stress level of everyone we meet?  The lady at the store did not just do one obnoxious/rude/against norms, she did many.  I think the OP did her "civic duty"/cutting this woman slack by purchasing the items she picked out.  (I would not have.)  I can't even buy into the idea that this salesperson should be given consideration because their might have been rude customers before the OP.  Seriously?  So if enough people yell/are rude to me in a day, I get to let the next person I encounter have it because of my experience before that innocent person?  I think consideration is needed very much in our society.  But there is a line between consideration and being completely walked all over. 

I'm just amazed at the idea that as poor of treatment as the OP received should be met with that much consideration on the OP's part.  Yes, everyone is one the edge these days, but can that really be an excuse for lashing out at other people?  Especially if the idea is 98% of the people are on the edge and could treat each other like that.........  Would you really want to live in that kind of society?  That is a retorical question.

OP, as presented I do not think you or your children did anything wrong.  The salesperson was stressed and the tension was an issue on her part.  You were a better person by purchasing there despite her behavior.

[mamazee]

It is reasonable to expect kids to not handle stuff too much, but to not even lightly touch anything? In a toy store? Why did she open a toy store of all places? Kids can't help but touch stuff, and it leads to sales. Crazy.

[meemee]

Originally Posted by Katwoman 

Really?  Are we individual people responsible for the stress level of everyone we meet? 

everyone? 

I'm just amazed at the idea that as poor of treatment as the OP received should be met with that much consideration on the OP's part.  Yes, everyone is one the edge these days, but can that really be an excuse for lashing out at other people?  Especially if the idea is 98% of the people are on the edge and could treat each other like that.........  Would you really want to live in that kind of society?  That is a retorical question.

but isnt that what's happening all around you? to a large percentage of people? and yes if we all were a little bit understanding then no that kind of society would not exist.  but that is a matter of personal opinion. since this is xmas season "I" personally think rude bad behaviour is 'understandable' not OK. if this happened in may it would not be ok. so yes this time of the year "I" feel every bad behaviour deserves a second chance.  

[WaitingForKiddos]

If my 17 month old could read your post he'd be laughing his little bootie off. A toy store where kids can't touch the toys?  I understand if there were a group of kids being wild but little guys walking with their moms....seems like the lady needs to remove the stick, if ya' know what I mean. 

 

[chaimom]

The music store where my kids have lessons is like that, too.  They have toys for sale: stuffed animals, music boxes, music-related doodads that attract every kid.  Once the worker was super rude to my kids for touching things-- he said he wouldn't be able to sell a stuffed animal because my dd's germy hands had been on it!!  He literally said that to a 2 1/2 year old who was just browsing calmly.  I called the owner later, who stuck up for the work, and said he didn't want kids touching anything in his store (which sold kid things).  So I told him I wouldn't shop there anymore and he said that was fine with him.  Weird.  I don't know how he thinks he's going to sell the kid doo dads when kids can't look and touch.  That's not how it works!  

So if I were you, I would take back what you bought.  Tell her you thought about her behavior toward in the store and you don't want to do business with her anymore.