My son is 18 months. We live abroad and are visiting my dad and his wife and their family for the holidays. They have an almost 3 year old boy - my half brother. He has a very intense case of the "terrible twos" and is not happy about my son's presence in his kingdom. He is yelling at us all the time "I DON'T LIKE THEM, I DON'T WANT HIM HERE", etc etc, freaking out about sharing and worst of all being aggressive violent and mean. He comes at my son with this awful mean look on his face and hits him, many times a day. His behavior makes me feel like I'm living with a tyrannical dictator and every move is made in fear of him freaking out.
Apparently this behavior is normal for him, we were warned about this. His mother, my dad's wife, whom I adore and is like a sister to me, is handling it quite well and doing her best. I don't really feel there is much I can "do" about this because a.) he's not my child b.) his mom is doing damage control and is actually a pretty decent parent and b.) as far as I understand, this kind of overly aggressive mean behavior has deeper roots and can't just be solved or changed during a relatives short visit. Although I think my dad and his wife are pretty good parents to this boy, they are not really into positive discipline, AP, etc and are somewhat neurotic and controlling actually (well she is anyway)I am trying so hard not to judge because I know we may well be in for this kind of behavior once our son reaches that stage, but I am getting worn down by it. I am having a hard time not reacting myself, like when he yells "I DON'T LIKE HIM!" it takes restraint not to yell back "WELL WE DON'T LIKE YOU EITHER!!" . This afternoon I almost broke down and cried. It actually hurts me, it puts my son into shock and physically hurts him when he gets hit.
We have about 10 more days, and we could go to a hotel, but that is a very expensive, inconvenient option and I am otherwise enjoying the time at the house with my dad and his other child and wife.
I also worry that this will permanently damage my relationship to my half brother, which may not end up being such a tragedy....but I can tell you this behavior of his makes me not like him at.all. I know I shouldn't blame him, he's just a child and it's not his fault. I know he must be feeling somehow disempowered and this is his way of getting some semblance of control. I know some of this is normal toddler stuff....although I do not believe for a second all toddlers are this mean and angry.
Please help! I just need a hug, or some ideas or words of wisdom or anything. This is very trying.
Sorry this is so long thank you so much if you read this far. Happy Holidays!