Edited by mayaandx - 5/30/12 at 4:27pm
Hey mama, hugs during this tough time! A great site for home-sharing with other single moms is coabode.org. You can look up other moms in your zip code, fill out your profile and email other mamas whom you think might be a good match for your family. It's a great site; you'll get the most out of it if you take the initiative to email other mamas. Hope it works out for you and your family :)
One thing I would suggest is to keep an open mind. It is not important that your room mates eat/educate/parent exactly like you do. there are lots of right choices when it comes to these things and what is most important is that you guys can work and live together while raising your children.
Just wanted to thank the OP for offering an alternative to a romantic relationship. This really opened my eyes and I'm now also thinking, why isn't everyone doing this?? Yes, I imagine it would be just as difficult to find someone you mesh with and who has similar values and goals. The good things about it would outweigh that I think. So ever since first reading your post, I'm thinking about this and if it is a next step for me. I've thought ecovillage, commune, etc. and still open to that. It would be even sweeter though to go into a situation like that with a coparent and around here there aren't any at the moment that I am interested in so one would need to be created (work and time there). Because a village is great and so helpful but not quite the same as living and sharing daily responsibilities and finances with somebody. And there's not all that pesky sex stuff to worry about LOL.
Hi, I think I'm in your boat!
I live in rural parts, on some land, and we're talking about converting one of the outbuildings into a real "little house" for me and my son. Trouble is, I've felt so isolated out here. Still up in the air about when to move out, where, and the desire to co-house with someone...
Like you, I'm not being pressured to get out immediately. Trying to figure out what I will do for money, though - grr. Been a SAHM to a little boy who is over 2.5 years old now.
it sounds like a great idea to me. I don't follow a lot of the same lifestyle choices as you, but for me, the main thing is to respect others beliefs and that is a great starting point, imo. I too, am a SAHM and am currently separated, we have been separated for 3 weeks, H moved to an appt and is currently footing the bills at both places. He does make a decent wage and he and I both know he will be paying me plenty to live on for probably 2 years after the D, (I will only get spousal support for 2-3 years), I wanted to wait things out but after finding out about his affairs and everything, my anger was too much and the household environment was too unstable, so we are currently living apart while we get the D and things going. I have thought about maybe not a co-parent situation, but just another single mom roomate, I have probably decided against it, as i do like my space, but may possibly do inhome childcare for extra income until my baby is school aged. There are many opportunities out there to help one another it is just our sense of community IRl IS a bit lacking this days, at least for me, but have you thought about posting a roomshare arrangement on CL?
I was where you are two years ago. I grew up with my mom and grandmother and I wanted that kind of arrangement for my kids and me. It seems overwelming, but you will find your way in the right time.Now I have my house and I'm doing great with my DC without another mom living with me. I love my space. I was working before, so that helped me make the transition, but it's terrifying thinking about the possibility of doing it on your own. But, you can do it. Many of us do. Just keep your priorities and know that the right thing will come to you. I don't have any other advice. Just sending a hug.
And one day you may heal and want a romantic relationship with a man. I've started speed dating and it's fun. I don't go out when the kids are with me, but when I have nights alone, I have a regular single life. I never wanted to lose my belief in love no matter how much that relationship hurt me.