~~ "LET'S RING IN THE NEW YEAR WITH BFP'S" INFERTILITY ONE THREAD JANUARY 2012 ~~ - Page 2

[sekenamoon]

Hi - I just wanted to say how much I understand how the holidays make you feel and to add my own grublings. 

 Holiday cards  - my best friend sent me a holiday card signed by her unborn baby. She knew that we shared a due date...her heart may have been in the right place but her brain wasn't.

Opening gifts this year was challenging. DH's cousin loudly complained that her children where being spoiled by too many gifts and that there better be more babies in the family soon because it was rediculous how many gifts they where getting from everyone. She said this several times. We where the only child bearing aged married couple in the room. Gee. No. Pressure.  After the 6th time she said it I managed to say nothing but inside my head I wanted to yell "alright! we get it! We dont have any news -so just be greatfull for the gifts!"

This is on the heels of my mother in-in-law complaining that shes the only sibling without impending grandchildren. ugg.  Happy holidays!

[skeemama]

Sekenamoon- people can be such dorks!

Sorry that you had to go through that.  If she knew, she would feel terrible.

Keep breathing!

[monkeyscience]

Soooo far behind there's no way I can catch everything, but I'll try to at least respond to some of you!

shesaidboom - That sucks so much about the infection! I didn't even think of that as a possible cause of all your pain. I hope it's cleared up now and you are feeling better! I'm sorry the holidays have been rough. I really just want to fly to Canada and give you a huge hug!

cbaa - Fingers crossed that tomorrow brings you a happy surprise! I didn't really feel anything when I got pregnant, either, though I definitely feel it now. If this isn't your cycle, though, I know Femara succeeds a lot of times where Clomid fails, and for me, Femara was a symptom-free experience, so hopefully if you need it, you'll find it much more tolerable. But I hope you and brichole can be in a DDC together!

brichole - It ain't over till AF shows up, so hoping you got your Christmas wish a little late! Sorry it put a cloud over your holiday, but glad you were still able to enjoy your girls!

To all the new people: Welcome! There seem to be more new faces than I can keep up with these days! May your stay be short!

To everyone who prayed for my spotting - thank you so much. It means a lot to me to have extra people pulling for me, and dh is the only other person I told.

AFM, the spotting seems to have stopped for now. There were probably 4 or 5 days of browning spotting, with one day of some red spotting in the middle. But that was right after we DTD, so I'm really thinking it just irritated my cervix. We DTD last night again, and so far no spotting, so I'm hopeful that's a good sign. I'm pretty much resigned at this point that whatever I first put in my stomach in the morning is going to come back up. This morning it got to be water and blood, since I woke up with a bloody nose. Yay. Because I needed that. Usually I feel better after my morning vomit, but yesterday I managed to keep feeling bad for most of the day. But I think it is getting more manageable. Of course, there's always the fear lingering in the back of my mind that this pregnancy is doomed, that the baby has already stopped growing, and I'm enduring all this for nothing. I try to push that out of my mind as much as possible, and just hope for the best. It's not like anything could be done to change whatever is or has happened. We've got a birth center tour set up for today, and another on Friday, and hopefully one more in between, so I'm hopeful to have a care provider selected by next week so I can start getting some professional reassurance!

I think about and pray for you guys often, even if I don't pop up much any more. I read some on my phone, but for some reason that seems to make my nausea worse, so I don't do that as much, either. If I don't get back here before then, hope everyone has a wonderful new year!!

[brichole1214]

Monkey: I wish you luck in finding a provider :-) I know having that reassurance will help!

Seken: Big hugs...i understand the pressure being put on by others! It's no fun at all!!!

AMF: AF still isn't here and I still don't think I'm pregnant...but at least my lp is getting longer! Lol the crazy thing is if I didn't know any better I would have sworn I oed Christmas day! I had TONS on ewcm and my sex drive was going strong!!! I guess we will see if maybe I Oed a lot later than I thought or if I oed twice this month! Only time will tell!! At least I do know that I still have one more cycle to try!!!

[rcr]

Brichole - I forgot you were VBA2C. I doubt you would find a midwife in AL to take you on. They are flirting with the law anyway, so probably wouldn't bother. I know that the woman in Birmingham wouldn't even do twins.  Thanks for the g/l. My suppression check is tomorrow. Glad AF hasn't showed up yet!

Shena - sorry about the xmas present opening. How strange of her to keep saying that. Sounds exactly like something my sister would have said. And the unborn baby holiday card, ugh.

Monkey - so glad the spotting stopped. I think that the fact that you have bad m/s is a good sign, right. I stopped having m/s before a m/c. 

[toothfairy2be]

I'm pretty sure I'm out... Ugh...i had my tell tale cd12 insomnia/hot flashes last a headache today, those are always my signs... I'll POAS in three morning to confirm before stopping my progesterone.. I just feel numb & in disbelief, how is this still happening..

[Gemmine]

Hi everyone. I'm reading, keeping up with everyone. Haven't felt much like posting. I think my due date passing affected me more than I realized this month.

cbaa: I hate those tattletale symptoms. It's why I'm thinking of not charting after this cycle. I'd rather have AF when I expect it than symptoms that give it away 3-5 days beforehand. This sucks. I'm still going to hope for you, cycle buddy.

[sekenamoon]

Monkey - I agree, morning sickness is such a good sign and so is a bloody nose!! Keep your spirits up!

Big hugs, Geminine. I can only imagine. 

[sekenamoon]

sorry for the second post - still getting used to this forum's format. Is anyone still waiting to ovulate? I have about 8 days to go.  :)

[renavoo]

Monkey, i know ms is the worst but there are studies that show that women who have ms have a lower chance of miscarrying. Doesn't always help at the moment but i hope that generally, it makes you feel better :o) Boy, though, considering you're vomiting, that is a serious case of ms. I hope that it starts to wane soon. I spotted early on too. My nurse kept telling me that it's normal so don't you worry about it! All she kept saying is if there was more red blood, to give her a call. i also know someone who said she pretty much spotted throughout her pregnancy and her baby boy is ADORABLE. so I think it's just our bodies adjusting. And yes, DTD can definitely affect bleeding. Darn sensitive cervixes ;o)

Skena, sorry that it sounds like you're surrounded by insensitive people! Geez! That really is awful. I hope that you can put it aside and just focus on ovulating in 8 days! I'm hoping for a bfp for you this cycle.

Cbaa,  I hope that your telltale sign is wrong this month. the problem is that these signs are so similar to the signs of pregnancy so I don't count you out until you have a negative HPT or actually until you get your af. I'm hoping for the best for you. Otherwise, are you thinking about what you intend to do afterwards? Are you going to try another cycle on clomid (I think that's what you're on right?) Or do you want to try something different for the next time. Did they check your lining, by the way?

Gemmine, just wanted to send a hug your way. 

Brichole, ooooh i'm hoping for a late ovulation so you could be pregnant this month :o) Here's hoping! 

Ladies, as the new year comes, I'm just hoping for a lot of new bfps...Let's make this a new year to remember! Big hugs! 

[brichole1214]

I still haven't gotten AF yet and dh bought 2 hpts Monday so I took one Monday and one yesterday and both were negative. I just wish I could get this over with! I'm getting frustrated. I hope everyone else is doing good though! I will be back later to post more. If AF isn't here by Saturday I will take on of my hpts that will be here with my opks this afternoon. I can't handle another BFN!!!

[chicajones]

Getting back to work today, but just wanted to pop in for a quick minute!

Monkey, so glad to hear things are going okay and that the spotting has tapered off! I hope your morning sickness also decides it's finished doing its business and gives you a little break. :)

Brichole, how frustrating! Are you usually right on target with AF? That is rather curious. How many days are you past your usual AF date? BFNs are no good, but then again if you're usually pretty regular, maybe a BFP is just taking longer to show up? I hope you get some clarity soon--and by that I mean a CLEAR BFP! 

CBAA, did you test? Thinking of you, friend. AF signs or not, you're not out till AF arrives! 

AFM, been DTD like crazy (well, at least every other day), but now I'm getting a little nervous because it's CD17 and I haven't really had any fertile signs yet. Was getting a somewhat decent line on OPKs, but I kept forgetting to do them until 11pm each night, and the test says you should do it before 8pm (not sure why?). This might be TMI, but I'm having a hard time checking for CM since we've been DTD so much, and I feel like that, um, mixes the signs.

I'm just so paranoid that I'm not going to ovulate, or that it's going to be another hundred-plus day cycle, and I just don't think I can handle that. I want at least one chance every month or so, not three chances a year!

Oh, and I'm very proud of myself--went shopping with pregnant friend and her insensitive husband yesterday, and was gracious the entire time (I think they talked about baby stuff/their new baby/other friends who were pregnant for about 60% of the trip). I second-guessed even going with them, but I don't have a lot of close friends who live nearby and really needed some company shopping. Honestly, the hardest part was seeing all the incredible sales on drapey, flowy tops that I would have bought if my chemical pregnancy hadn't terminated. I try not to let myself think about how far along I would be, etc. 

Last thing--anyone want to join me in a "Facebook Fast" for the next two weeks? I'm still allowing myself to write posts on friends pages or post things myself (sparingly), but I am BANNING the News Feed. I just can't handle all the holiday pregnancy announcements/photos/etc. I'm giving myself a break!

[renavoo]

Chica, great idea!! Although I am bad and posted photos of my adorable nephew on Facebook because my SIL wanted the photos but I really hate Facebook too. I hated it so much while TTCing. Except that it reminds me when everyone's birthday is.

[sekenamoon]

Chica - I am right there with you, I'm going through that too.  I understand how you feel - you want to avoid all things baby like the plauge, but we still have to live and participate in life or we will just feel worse.  But I say we need to grumble about it. Its a healthy reaction. 

Thank you for the positive energy, Rena and everyone!

[deborahbgkelly]

When I was TTC, anyone who wasn't family that posted about babies, got hidden.

[deborahbgkelly]

Okay, I hope this is not rubbing salt in anyone's wounds, but I thought those who are POAS addicts might get a kick out of this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltXUykEcYxM&feature=fvwp&NR=1.

[shesaidboom]

gtree - I'm sorry you're getting the constant pressure from your mom. I was getting the same until we started fertility treatments and she saw how much I was struggling.
The ultrasound on the front of the card is weird!

brichole - keep us updated! I still have everything crossed for you.

deborah - thanks for the video! It definitely rings a bell here.

rcr - that sounds like a much nicer, more relaxed holiday. We generally celebrate everything, but it means a lot of family and this struggle with infertility is hard with my family because they never stop talking about babies. Actually tonight is a Hannukah dinner at my uncle's (even though Hannukah is over), and my and dp are skipping it and hanging out here alone.

cbaa - I'm glad you haven't had too many symptoms from the prometrium. I hope you're not out though and it's just a coincidence. I'm so sorry this is happening.

renavoo - any more news on the twinsies?

sekenamoon - thanks for the understanding. I'm sorry the holidays were hard for you too and that people are putting so much pressure on you. It doesn't help any, I'm sure!

monkey - I didn't think it could be a cause either, but at least it's dealt with now and the cramps are gone! I want you to fly here too! Come in June when your friend will be here too :)
I'm glad the spotting stopped. I hope all those fears are for nothing because baby is doing wonderfully! I can't wait to hear more after you get your first appointment set up.

Gemmine - big hugs to you. Due dates passing were always a very hard thing to go through. I didn't imagine how much it would affect me. I'm so sorry.

chica - I'm hoping all the DTD is working, even though you're getting 'mixed signals'. Sometimes it's so hard to tell! Good for you for being so gracious with such a hard shopping trip. I wouldn't have been able to handle that.
I am definitely joining you in a facebook fast! I almost deleted my account when I got my BFN, but instead just deleted everything on it. Pictures, info, everything. I want to keep in touch with people, but no news feeds or anything. I'm so with you.

AFM, I've decided that since we're off this month (well, trying naturally) I'm going to seriously work on the weight loss. I have been focusing on eating healthy, exercising, and leading a healthy lifestyle for a long while, and that makes me feel better, but it hasn't helped me lose anything because I never was very unhealthy with lifestyle to begin with. Well, now I'm watching everything and counting everything (and am being very careful because I have a history with eating disorders and don't want to end up there again) and have lost 4 pounds so far. I don't generally splurge much over the holidays - just some cookies and peppermint bark - so I didn't gain anything there. I'm hoping to lose one more pound by the end of December, and 10 more in January. I'm hoping the weight loss will help with TTC. My doctor thinks it will since my BMI is just over 30 right now and that counts as obese, and since I have PCOS, symptoms tend to get better with weight loss, even though the losing weight part is harder because of it. I know weight talk can be triggering for some people, and while it's part of my TTC journey right now, I can keep it out of this thread. I'm not planning on posting a lot about it anyway, but I can not post about it at all if you prefer I don't. Just let me know. No hard feelings!

[rcr]

Brichole - that is weird that AF has not arrived, and a negative test, or is AF typically late? I hope it is just a slow implanter!

Shesaid - wow, I am really imporessed by 4 lbs so far. I think it is hardest at first. I also need to loose weight, but I have been doing almost monthly IF treatments, which just make me gain more weight.

Chica - I am way past a facebook fast. lol. I deactivated my account about a month or two ago, and it was really hard at first because it has become so habitual to look at FB every day. Then I started to get depressed about people I have not even seen since high school, and I thought, this is so stupid, why am I worried about these people, so I deactivated.  I was thinking of even deleting it, but I have a few people who I really do like to connect with through FB, and I don't really have any other way to connect with them. Anyway, once I got used to not looking at it every day, I don't miss it. Hope all that BDing works!

CBAA - sorry you think you are out.

AFM - had my baseline us.bloodwork today. Small cyst on the left side, but it is only 2mm, and my bloodwork was good, so I got the green-light and ordered my meds. I start lupron on Friday, and stims on Sunday. yay! We had a problem with insurance and they didn't want to give me all of the follistim I needed, so we have to wait to get the rest and fill out some paperwork. Luckilly, I have some leftover so I think I should be ok.  We are going out of town for the new years holiday, so I have to start my meds there, but I am really excited to get away (we are going to a cabin at Cheha state park, for Brichole, who probably knows where that is).

[brichole1214]

Well, I'm out....6 BNFs and spotting has started. I'm happy tonight is just me and dh at the house because I'm so down I don't think I would be able to drag myself out of bed for the girls tonight! I thank everyone for all of the good thoughts though! Guess AF just wanted me to have a 28 day cycle. Tomorrow will be 1st day for sure!

[deborahbgkelly]

Sorry to hear that brichole. Rooting for you for next cycle!