Tandem nursing, will DS learn to share?

[fazer6]

I'm very early in my pregnancy so no idea if I will even keep my milk, but I have already asked DS if he would share mummy milk and he's quite sure he won't. My other half winds him up asking if he will share with him and he thinks boobs are just for him. They always have been so I'm not surpised he thinks that.

I partly think that tandem nursing will be easier because if he's occupied while the baby is feeding then there's going to be easier as I don't have a toddler clambering for attention, also maybe it'll be nice for them to bond and adjust together while feeding. However I don't know how he'll adjust to sharing the boobs.

How do toddlers adjust? He'll be about 2 1/2 when the baby is born so hopefully older and more emotionally mature and ready to contemplate sharing. I've not heard many people talking about jealousy and posessiveness over boobs so is it just something that doesn't come up? If there's 2 boobs do they just settle down together?

[TiredX2]

I would not bother trouble if I were you.

By that I mean I would NOT ask him again if he wants to share.  Are you really going to allow him not to share and not breastfeed your new baby?  Little children are very flexible with what they accept as normal.  I would just not talk about it for awhile and then just present it as normal from then on.  You can get some books for little kids about having a new sibling (or other books with babies in them) and just list nursing as one of the things babies do.  Just like you wouldn't let a child decide their sibling couldn't ride in the car, be held by their mom or dad, etc...

Good luck!

[TiredX2]

Oh, and for me---- DD was 31 month when DS was born.  There were no real issues around nursing.  It was exhausting and she wanted to nurse all the time for a while. I eventually put more restrictions on when and where DD could nurse (probably more than was best for her, but I needed to do what worked for me at that time).

[fazer6]

Good advice. Yeah I guess it isnt whether or not he will or will not share. He doesn't get an option so I guess I shouldn't ask him. I think I was trying to make him aware of it, and used the wrong phrases. I guess I need to get some books showing babies feeding so he's prepared for the fact that the baby will drink mummy milk because that's what they drink. I love the way sometimes you just need someone to point out a different way of wording things/introducing things to avoid problems. I'm only 7 weeks and DS has just turned 2 so I think when the baby is born he'll be old enough to understand things better. I just need to make sure I prepare him appropriatly for the adjustment.

[LilMomma83]

I tandem nursed Ds1 and DS2, I talked about "mommy has to laps, mommy has to breasts; baby and you can each sit on one of my laps and drink from one of my breasts" etc...I don't recall any issue...DS1 was 26 months when DS2 was born...I nursed them sometimes seperately and sometimes at the same time. I think it really helped actually for DS1 to feel included and made him LESS jealous of his baby brother.