Ideas for improving sleep in 2 y/o?

[mambera]

I'd like my DD1 to sleep earlier and for longer.  Right now I am struggling to get her in bed by 9:15-9:30, and she often stays awake there until 10 or 11 pm, or even later on occasion.  Some days she lies quietly in the bed, others she is frequently asking for more stories, more milk, etc.  She wakes up around 7:30-8 and seems refreshed.

The problem is that I have to stay there with her until she falls asleep and it totally robs me of my evening - by the time she is asleep I am also ready for bed.  Also I am having trouble believing that 9 hours of sleep are enough for a 2 y/o (she has always slept less than I would have thought ideal, maybe she just naturally has a low sleep need but I'd still like her to get more than she does).

Advice appreciated!

[ErinYay]

Yeah, that's not enough sleep. Contrary to common sense, the earlier you put a kiddo down, the better they sleep. My 24-month-old DD is, admittedly, a fantastic sleeper, but she still goes into her room between 6-7pm and is asleep by 8 every night, and is up around 8. She's been flirting with dropping her nap, but mostly she gets 2 good hours of nap, too. We tuck her in and call it a night. She usually plays quietly for a bit, but then just goes to sleep. 

The trick about toddlers is that they need us to AP them in a different way than 2-month-olds do. You do what you must to get an infant to sleep, but as kids get older, they need more boundaries, routines, and limits, in addition to gentleness and love. A 2-month-old is incapable of "being manipulative." A 2-year-old? Well... They have their methods of getting what they want, for sure! With infants and babies, their needs and wants are one and the same, and should be met with urgency. Toddlers have needs, like, they *need* to get enough sleep to grow and thrive, but they don't *want* to sleep, bc all the fun stuff happens when you're awake for it, so we have to help them get what they *need*, sometimes in ways that they don't *want.* 

[mambera]

So an earlier bedtime does not change the amount she sleeps.  Occasionally she skips her nap and will then fall asleep at 7:30-8 pm.  This results in her waking up refreshed and ready to go at 4:30-5 am.

I can't switch to a no-nap schedule (even if I wanted to get up at 5 am every day, which I don't) because I WOH and she goes to preschool, where there is a required nap.  The teachers say she is always the last to fall asleep.

[34me]

How much physical activity does she get?  My kids are older so I've been through the baby/toddler stage many moons ago, but I have one kiddo that just doesn't appear to need a whole lot of sleep, never has.  The more physically active he is, the better he does (even (especially) as a 2 year old). 

[treegardner]

I was going to ask about her physical activity as well.

[mambera]

Yes, we've noticed she sleeps better if she's had a good run around outside.  It's not a magic bullet for 10+ hours of sleep but it does get her down somewhat faster than she would go on a sedentary day.  We do try to get that in as much as possible on weekends, weather permitting.  At preschool they go outside 2x/day.

Warm bath before bed is slightly helpful too. Are there any other little tricks like that?

[KellyandBean]

I really like what Erinyay said about toddlers vs. babies and what they need different from you. I think maybe your presence in the room with her is starting to get to stimulating for her. You presence may be comforting to her but at the same time she knows you are right there to ask for things. Removing yourself from the room might help her to take less time to fall asleep- well this has been my experience anyway. I used a process that I read in a Dr Sears book where you slowly inch your way out of the child's room over time. A LONG time. Like months. For example i used to lay in her bed with her and then i moved one day to holding her hand while i laid on the floor. If she got upset one day i would take a step backwards but the next day i would go right back to being on the floor. Then i moved about 2 feet towards the door every few weeks until i was right next to the door and then one day I just tucked her in in the usual manner and left. Some nights she would go to sleep without me in the room with no fuss and then other nights when she was overtired or stressed i would go back into the room but eventually it worked and now every time i lay her down in her bed i go back in a half hour later and she is laying exactly where i left her- meaning she fell asleep right away instead of the hour long toss and turn she used to do when i was in there with her. Not sure if this would work for you but just an idea!! Good luck!

[alegna]

At 2 yrs old 9 hours was PLENTY of sleep for both my kids.  They do vary.

good luck!