Okay. Maybe things are going to be worse. I spoke with his teacher this am. I outlined everything about the kid calling him gay, the prayers and how my son faked a neck injury and a belly ache this morning to avoid school. She said she was shocked that this other little boy called him gay. She moved all of the kids' seat and Ds now sits with his best friend and two other really nice little boys. Fine. And then she just said, "you know, it doesn't excuse anything or make any of this right, but he kinda brings it on himself." I have never felt that much rage. I wasn't able to say much after that except, "No. No. I won't have that. There is no excuse. I can be really easygoing in dealing with this, but I can also be not-so easygoing. OK?" She then backpedaled a little bit and I said I want my son to speak with the counselor and that I'll be in touch with the counselor and the principal. We agreed on a plpan for me to email her each day and let her know of any incidents. But I'm so f*cking pissed. There is NO excuse in the world for saying that my son brings it on himself. By that logic, I guess I can tell my son to go into class and curse out and punch all of his bullies. After all, they bring it on themselves.
I understand why her saying that your son "brings it on himself" was upsetting to you. This, unfortunately, is a very common attitude about bullying. I even got that reaction on this site in another thread when I suggested that understanding why a bully acts like they do helps my son because it allows him to understand that it's not his fault. The responses I got basically told me that it is his fault and instead I should be making him aware of what he does to make himself a target. I completely disagree. I know what makes my son the target. He's sensitive and he's the youngest in his grade. Either of which is likely to make him a target. It doesn't matter why the kids picked him. If they hadn't picked him they would have and do pick on someone else. The problem is not my son the problem is the bully and that is where the problem needs addressed. My son does let things roll off his back easier and has been becoming less fun to torment. Now he tends to jump to the defense of the bully's new target and thereby makes himself a target once again.
While it does help to work with social skills and it does help for your son to learn the most effective ways of dealing with the bullying when it happens. It is not his fault and the teacher was wrong to suggest it was.