Crawling and walking... DH thinks he can and has to push it?!

[nia82]

So DD is nearly 11 months old. She butt-scoots to wherever she wants to go and pulls up on me, but not to a full standing. She can't crawl, she can't walk, but she can put her weight on her legs. I just think I should let her choose when she wants to crawl and walk. DH says that babies have to be pushed and early walkers only walk because their parents practice every day with their babies. I think though it's genetic and up to the baby when he or she wants to walk, why push it? 

Do you have any scientific resources on this subject? I'm so annoyed, he tries to have DD pull up on toys (taller ones) and it scares her and makes her cry, which I find horrible and unacceptable. But then he complains how he and his siblings walked well before 12 months and how his sister's daughters walked at 8 and 9 months and how terrible it is that DD doesn't walk yet. I just always think dude it's not gonna be on her college application when she started to walk! My nephew didn't walk until 18 months, what's the problem with that? Is this just stupid paternal competitiveness? He also claims he is helping her to grow by pushing her out of her comfort zone to make her walk.... That kinda train of thought is quite foreign to me. Thoughts?

[mamalisa]

She will walk when she is ready.  He needs to let her be.  

[J's Mombee]

DS1 walked at 14 months & butt scooted until then.  He is 5 yrs old & he is doing great.  I am sorry that your babe is being pushed.

[DaisyMae08]

I don't think pushing will help.  Sounds like he may actually be making things worse.  My son started walking at 9 months and you can tell your husband that we did NOTHING to make it happen that way.  He was just ready.  When your daughter is ready, she will do it too.  They all do in their own time.

[Bokonon]

My son had gross motor delays and didn't walk until the week before his 2nd birthday...and I can tell you that his physical therapist never, ever tried to push or pressure him!  He did it when he was good and ready.  11 months is still pretty young - I think I saw on the WHO website that the average for walking is right at 1 year.

Babies don't get awards for hitting milestones early.  Sure, it's fun when they can finally walk, but it's not a race, and it's not going to equal advanced physical skills later on to have an early walker.  What's more important is that they develop confidence and proper execution of those skills.

[Kedrosami]

My DS took his first step at 11 months and was "walking" by 12 months. That is *average.* Which means that for every baby who walks at 8 months there's a baby who doesn't walk until 16 months! You can tell your DH that I didn't walk until 14 months and I graduated college with a 4.0 GPA. She will walk when she's ready!

[anjsmama]

Nothing scientific here but... my DS didn't crawl or walk or pull to stand at 11 months. He walked before he was a year. He just woke up one day and started doing it. Before that, he butt scooted and army crawled.

My DD (now 11 mo) crawled at 5 months, stood at 6 months, and started walking at 10 months. I didn't do anything. I didn't do anything different than I did with my DS . I certainly didn't have her "practice" these skills (how does that work anyway?) . 

Some babies are afraid to walk. Others simply don't see the point, especially if they're fast crawlers or barrel rollers. Some babies muscles aren't ready at a given age. Some babies don't have other little people to watch for example. There's like a zillion things that effect when and why a baby does it, but pushing certainly won't do much. If anything, it could upset her and make her NOT want to do it.

FWIW, our kids ped says 14 months is average for her patients to begin walking. 

[serenbat]

there are some studies that show the later the child walks the hight the intelligence - crawling is essential in brain development 

you may want to look into the regiment that they use for treating brain injuries (especially what the military hospitable are using) and the hugh benefits they are getting from using crawling and NOT pushing walking

[gemasita]

I think walking is developmental...not a skill that you teach.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by nia82 

So DD is nearly 11 months old. She butt-scoots to wherever she wants to go and pulls up on me, but not to a full standing. She can't crawl, she can't walk, but she can put her weight on her legs. I just think I should let her choose when she wants to crawl and walk. DH says that babies have to be pushed and early walkers only walk because their parents practice every day with their babies. I think though it's genetic and up to the baby when he or she wants to walk, why push it? 

Do you have any scientific resources on this subject? I'm so annoyed, he tries to have DD pull up on toys (taller ones) and it scares her and makes her cry, which I find horrible and unacceptable. But then he complains how he and his siblings walked well before 12 months and how his sister's daughters walked at 8 and 9 months and how terrible it is that DD doesn't walk yet. I just always think dude it's not gonna be on her college application when she started to walk! My nephew didn't walk until 18 months, what's the problem with that? Is this just stupid paternal competitiveness? He also claims he is helping her to grow by pushing her out of her comfort zone to make her walk.... That kinda train of thought is quite foreign to me. Thoughts?

Seriously? My ds walked at 8.5 months - but he was determined. Seriously determined (seems to be a BIG part of his personality). I never taught him how to walk, we definitely never practiced, and although we encouraged his efforts (mostly just cheering lots) we didn't teach him anything at that age. He learned himself by watching us. I would have liked for him to be a late walker personally.

[Imakcerka]

Ha!  I had an 11 month walker and an 18 month walker... who by the way only kinda rolled and only if there was a cheerio near by.  They do what they want when they want at that age.  Just let her be.

[Peony]

Barring physical issues of of course which there doesn't seem to be any, she will walk when she is ready. Normal is up to 18 months. I've had 2 kids walk at 13 months and 1 at 18 months. That 18m old is now a 2.5y who runs, jumps, play with the best of them, you would never know it didn't walk until a year ago. Walking early really means nothing except that they walked earlier! There can be a time and a place for pushing a child out of their comfort zone, but mostly in limited settings, doing it for walking early is not warranted. 

[portlandmama]

There is no need to push and doing so in ways that are frightening to your little one will certainly not help the situation.  She is just fine.  Technically, crawling is not a developmental milestone...that being said, it is a really important skill.  It does not need to be met before walking (although it is significantly harder to get them motivated to crawl when they can walk).  She has figured out a means of getting around and that is really important to reinforce.  She will pull to stand and cruise when she has adequately explored what she can at the bum scooting level and then she will want to stand up to explore other surfaces.  Until she can do those things, she will not be ready to walk since she will not yet have the muscle strength and stability to do it...and thereby making it more scary for her when it is forced.  there are lots of things that your DH can do to encourage it without it being a forced situation...such as putting fun toys on a coffee table or couch and having her stand up at the surface being supported from behind while she plays.  Also, development does not happen in every area at the same time.  She might have her energy being spent mastering some other very important skills (fie motor, cognitive, communication) and the gross motor will come later. 

The important deal is that she is doing just great.  No need to push it. 

[nia82]

Thanks! I was able to convince DH to relax. DS crawled at 9 months (he was really, really fat, in a good way, but too fat to move earlier, the little guy weighed 31lbs at 12 months and had a hard time rolling over - hasn't gained much since then and leaned out) and walked at 12 months 3 weeks (which was his real 1st birthday, since he was a little over 3 weeks early). DD goes into crawling position a lot to grab a toy but moves back onto her heiny. She got really fast within the past few days and indeed started to pull herself up (bathtub - when I'm in there she pulls herself up to say hi; coffee table - those remotes are so much fun; DS's train table). She'll be ready when ready... I think after all DH subconsciously wants to compete with his sister's kids. BUt like I said before, walking and talking age and who potty learned the first won't help with college applications down the road - no need to rush. DD has no hints of any motor skill disabilities, she is quite cautious by nature compared to her fearless brother which might play a role in her taking it more slowly.

[mckittre]

Not only is it not on their college applications, it doesn't even determine who is the most athletic/coordinated 2 year old.  I have one kid who walked at 14 months, and one at 11.5 months, and the later walker was the more cautious kid and wanted to get his balance perfect first.  It was all on them.

[Katie8681]

I'm glad your husband chilled. It's all within the range of normal to crawl "funny", ie not the routine on-all-fours fashion but moving about (my kid inchworms his way around at this point!), and to not crawl but go straight to walking (that was me). You can tell your DH that I went to college despite walking at older than a year.  

[Abraisme]

I have one kid that walked at 12mo and another that walked at 9mo.  My early walker walked early because SHE wanted to.  She skipped crawling and was massively determined to walk asap.  It doesn't help or matter if you push them, they'll walk when they're ready.

[4midablemama]

One of my favorite frustrated parent quotes is "We spend the first 18 months trying to get them to walk and talk, and the next 18 years trying to get them to sit down and be quiet!"

My daughter walked at 15-16 months, after crawling for what seemed like forever. She climbed, however, literally from the time she could pull herself up to standing, and still drives me nuts using the furniture as her own personal jungle gym. My son did everything at a later age, but he did everything faster; he didn't roll until he was right at 8 months old, but once he did that, he moved from rolling, to pushing up on hands and knees, to booty scooting (never crawled much, always preferred to scoot) within about a three week span. He walked at about 14 months, but he still continued to scoot long after he had figured out walking; it just seemed to be easier for him, and I knew he wouldn't scoot down the aisle to his college graduation anymore than he would have to take his binky out of his mouth to make the Valedictorians' speech. 

[Jenga]

I'm sorry, I don't want to be rude but I laughed at the part where you wrote that he said that the parents "practiced" with the babies.

I think babies do things on their own at their own pace. I hear stories about 2nd and 3rd babies walking earlier than their siblings and I don't think that the parents of 2 or 3+ have time to "practice" with their kids. My second sat up, crawled and pulled to standing in one week at 7 months old and we expected her to walk by 9 months. Wrong! She showed us and didn't walk until 11 months, when she was ready to do it.

I'm glad your husband calmed down about it :)

[Asiago]

It's all so true, they walk when they are ready. I always found it odd how people would say "enjoy it now, because it all goes so quickly"................well yes (!) especially if you are rushing a little one through their infancy and childhood.........