This is a vent mostly. I know my family is less than thrilled that I chose to be a SAHM for the first few years of my childrens' lives (it will be 6 years overall of not "working"). I'm glad that we can afford it, and I feel it is important to me that I can be there for the kids and do not think I'm wasting my time nor education (their thoughts on it). They think pretty lowly of moms and homemakers as those lower kinds of work should be left to... uneducated or unsmart people. They never say it directly, but I get the drift, plus when I was growing up my mom constantly complained about those lazy dumb housewives who are only that, and don't have a real job or education and hence cannot realize themselves and so on and on and on. Oh here's another gem, only oppressed housewivies stay at home, a rationally thinking woman goes out to work. Sigh.
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I bring it up today as I got a Christmas call from my sister and she's a very unhappy person. She went to med school and now teaches at the university but cannot find a specialty she likes so she's been in residency limbo for 6 years and complains that her contracts are only ever 12 months and she has to work overtime all the time blablabla. she could have chosen to just do one specialty already and be in her own practice by now... But the point is, she has a son as old as mine and she complains how she works and is a mom, so she has it so much harder than me. Btw, what do I do all day anyways? Do I ever do something intellectual? No? Don't I get bored? Are you sure you don't regret that second child (she asked that like 5 times, and no I don't regret my lovely daughter)? I asked her if her husband helps her out when they come home from work, and the answer was yes. I don't get help for the record cause my DH is gone for about 70% of the month, but it is what it is. She then proceeded to tell me that next Saturday her hubbie won't be home but she would never want to be alone at home with her son so of course as every weekend she'll crash at my parent's house. Which means she will do whatever and my parents watch her son all day long. All of that sounds so unhealthy and unhappy to me, and I know she is just trying to make me feel bad because she feels bad, but it still sucks. I hate how polarized this view is, and I was tempted to say oh all day long I sit on the couch and watch talkshows with the kids, and then I order pizza. And I think my IQ fell by 85 points in the last week, hm. Why can't she/they let me live like I want? What is it with families not accepting choices? At least my paretns stopped saying anything to me, they really did, but my sister has to be all negative and such. Again, I know it is because she's unhappy and unstable, but I have to vent somewhere.... Thinkign about this I actually feel bad and concerned for her very unstable emotional life - and it sounds like she doesn't even want to be with her son, and hearing her asking me if I regret my daughter makes me think she regrets being a mom at all. Thanks for listening.Â
