DH and I split up last Monday, it all got very messy and he moved out Friday. Theres a whole lot of hurt at the mo and it isn't fun. Its a rubbish time to have split up, I am not sure we can fix it but I think we should at least try. I mean, we've been together nearly 10 years, married 9 1/2.
The kids are finding it hard, especially as it was Christmas.
I suffer from Bipolar 2, Ehler Danlos and Fibro so I am not exactly finding it easy. DH also has health issues and depression.... We both carry a lot of baggage from before we met, child hood trauma etc.
Its just a horrible nightmare.
How do we move on?
The girls are all kinda angry, DD 3 hasn't been well for a while with weird temperature issues (mornings she is ok, afternoons and nights her temp can go up to 103 and then she had a stomach bug on top of everything else over Christmas. She was super clingy before all this happened, now shes a limpet, I can't even leave the house for 2 seconds to put the rubbish in the bin.
DD2 has anxiety issues as it is, severe enough that we are waiting for therapy for her, this is just going to be so hard on her.
DD1 loves her Dad to pieces, more than me and she is REALLY angry at me.
Their Dad is a fantastic Dad. Its just that with his health being more severe than mine, I was left to do the school runs etc, all the boring stuff and he got to do more of the fun stuff (which I am rubbish at anyway).
I just want everybody to be happy which is a big ask at the moment. Poor DH has no family but us so he was alone over Christmas which I felt awful about.
I haven't even got money coming in at the mo, I have to sort it all out this week (I am not allowed to work due to the number of problems and severity so I am on benefits but they are all in DHs name or joint claims, so I have to untangle all of that).
I really wanted to get back to education this year so I could find a job I can do (one that doesn't use too much energy lol and doesn't require me to handle finances etc and all sorts of other stuff).
The stress has caused a fibro flare, I can't sleep, I am in loadsa pain, I am tired, I can't think straight.
I just want to go to bed. I am also in the process of increasing bipolar meds to the right dose, was only diagnosed recently and they make me super irritable, so thats not helping....... Just got another 75 mg to increase by which is gonna take about a month.
Why can't life just be easy for once???????