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Weekly Chat: December 25-31.... The last of 2011! - Page 4

post #61 of 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by casmer View Post



You want the eggs to sink!  That means that there is no extra gas in the air cell.  If they float to the top they are expired/spoiled!

 

KM84 - You are cracking me up!  Even if life won't be rosey after the baby is here, I still don't want people raining on my parade with the negative aspects of having a child.  One person I had just met started asking me questions like: "what are you going to do when you two want to go out?"  My reply was "get a baby sitter."  That and we only go out like once a year anyway!  We've been married for 7 years so I think we've had enough time to "go out"!!!  Seriously though, we plan on our lives changing, not ending.  Of course we're "from the country" and it seems like the "city people" feel like their lives are going to end, where as, we recognize that it will be different, but we can still do tons of fun stuff with babies and kids. 


Thank goodness I don't get those comments yet.  But most people assume it's my first and when I tell them I have a 9yo they always say, "Oh my gosh!  You don't look old enough to have a 9yo!".  I never know what to say to that.  It's so awkward. 


 

post #62 of 74
Forest, that is so funny! Just today someone said I was having a girl because I am carrying high. I just said "nope- a boy!". She seemed upset that her prediction was wrong :-)

Re: marriage, Sarah, I'm sorry your SOs mom is being ridiculous. I agree with what has been said- a piece of paper from the state is just a piece of paper! Sure, there are benefits like insurance coverage and tax breaks etc, but none of that changes your deep commitment to to your partner.

On showering, I have never had a problem showering in the mornings. I lucked out with easy babies I guess! I put a bouncy seat outside the shower and when they got to be older toddlers (2.5-3yrs) I admit that I put on sesame street in the next room for 10 minutes while I took a fast shower and got dressed. I am not a fan of sticking kids in front of a tv (we don't even have cable) but 10 minutes of Elmo teaching letters and singing is worth a shower to me. Now, shaving and makeup and all that might have to wait until DH can hold the baby or baby naps, but some days a shower just has to happen!

Perse, OMG eggs that expired in April?!! A day or two past the date, sure, but April...that is just scary. I am pretty picky about dates on food & DH sometimes gets on to me because I'll toss food if there is even the slightest possibility it isn't good. Or if I just get a bad feeling about it hehe. My mom used to buy blocks of cheese and if a corner of the cheese had mold on it, she'd just cut that piece off and use the rest of the block. She swore it was perfectly fine but it always gave me the heebie jeebies.

Onemore- well said. I <3 our group & love that we all respect each others differences and can have good conversations. ... & I'm totally eating my placenta :-) and encapsulating what is left. Super excited about it. Hubby is a little grossed out.
post #63 of 74

KM84 - I'm not a coffee person either.  Or a caffeine person for that matter - so you're not alone. 

 

We just got back from our holiday trip late last night.  It was a great time, seeing the family, some of whom I have never met (like DS' little 18 mo cousin), and others I hadn't seen in nearly a decade (like his mom).  This was the last branch of the family who hadn't been told, and Xmas morning I put a t-shirt on DS that said "I have a big secret... I'm going to be a big brother".  It took his grandma about 20 seconds to read it (I figured it would take way longer!), and she flipped.  She was so great with the boys (DS and his cousin - the only grandkids), even watching the both of them all day on Wednesday (my bday and their anniversary) so the parents could all go out for adult time.  DS absolutely adored his time with them, I was so sad to take him away from that - he only gets to see those grandparents once or twice a year.  But I fell in love with the area and am trying to convince DH we need to move there.  Like now.  The grandparents will be retiring there FT soon (grandpa is already retired, I think grandma has another 4 years), so we'd be right nearby.  The trip itself was very difficult - 14 hours up and 13.5 back.  My ankles were the size of grapefruit last night, and I slept almost 12 hours, I was so exhausted.  But the wonderful part of the whole thing is the little one started kicking on Xmas evening, and I've been feeling him/her every day since.  I burst in tears that first time - lucky DH understands that reaction.  But it's really helping bonding, I was concerned about that, since this pg wasn't really feeling real without symptoms up to this point.  Ok, so now I'm babbling...

 

I did ask the grandparents to come down in June and spend some time.  They have a 5th-wheeler, so they're going to bring it down in June and spend a week or so helping us out.  So excited - I had zero help with DS, and after this week it's obvious that DS is perfectly comfortable with them.  So looking forward to some help. 

 

As to the shower question - I still might manage 2 a week.  There are so many more "important" things to be done during baby down time for me... like napping, eating, laundry, dishes, etc.  Or even just zoning on MDC.  Showers take low priority for me.  When DS was little I'd stick him in his bouncy on the bathroom floor, or in the stroller in the bathroom, and hope I could get 5 minutes of calm - but it still wasn't every day.  But you have to be ready to jump when they start screaming - cause it just stops being relaxing (our bathroom echoes, so screams are quickly painful).  I do have a mesh sling, DS didn't much care for it.  He would do okay as long as I didn't get his head wet - but even now he hates getting his head wet (except in the rain).  But now that he's 2, I can't just let him have free rein while I take a shower - there's no telling what he'd do/get into while I was distracted.  For me showers are low man on the totem pole - other people have different priorities, depending on your home situation.  But I also rarely leave my house, so I can manage to go without.  It's going to be interesting this time around though - since DS is in therapy 5 days/a week, I don't get to sit around in my stinky pjs ignoring the housework for days this time around. 

 

Onemore - I think the portion of the screening/testing that you're missing is the willingness to terminate a pregnancy due to diagnosis.  I do agree with you, in that if someone isn't willing to have the amnio, why have the screening?  And if they aren't willing to terminate, why have the amnio?  Or any of the screenings for that matter.  But that's not how the medical profession (or society) presents these screenings/tests.  Everyone considers them "standard" or "normal", and if you don't have them, you're subjected to all sorts of negative reactions.  But nobody ever seems to talk about what if you do have them, and what if they are scary...  so that when it happens, it's even harder to deal with because it's not discussed.  I've even had friends give me really negative reactions when I mentioned the above... they would never terminate, but still want to know.  Having been through it myself, what does knowing give you, other than stress?  Anyway - I could go on for days on that subject, but I'll leave it there.  :)

 

 

 

post #64 of 74

 

Quote:
Onemore - I think the portion of the screening/testing that you're missing is the willingness to terminate a pregnancy due to diagnosis.  I do agree with you, in that if someone isn't willing to have the amnio, why have the screening?  And if they aren't willing to terminate, why have the amnio?  Or any of the screenings for that matter.  But that's not how the medical profession (or society) presents these screenings/tests.  Everyone considers them "standard" or "normal", and if you don't have them, you're subjected to all sorts of negative reactions.  But nobody ever seems to talk about what if you do have them, and what if they are scary...  so that when it happens, it's even harder to deal with because it's not discussed.  I've even had friends give me really negative reactions when I mentioned the above... they would never terminate, but still want to know.  Having been through it myself, what does knowing give you, other than stress?  Anyway - I could go on for days on that subject, but I'll leave it there.  :)

Thats true, Cristeen. I haven't had any myself, so this is me purely talking out of my rear - but I do remember my aunt having an amnio cause she was past the age of 40 and it being this extremely stressful time - something going wrong with the amnio (even if the odds are 1 in 10,000 no one wants to be that *1*) and then there being something wrong...and to top it all off, I don't know what their views were on carrying vs terminating - but I believe there were time limits on when that could be done anyways and 20 something weeks would be too late  (IIRC)

it just seemed to be a lot of worry women are subjected to.

post #65 of 74

 

MeredithAQuote:
Onemore- well said. I <3 our group & love that we all respect each others differences and can have good conversations. ... & I'm totally eating my placenta :-) and encapsulating what is left. Super excited about it. Hubby is a little grossed out.

I use to have a placenta recipe book. LOL It was only like 15 pages, but it had good ideas.

I made placenta tree prints with my kids and then donated to search and rescue dog training.

I don't think I will eat it or encapsulate it this time either. I know its the only organ meat that no one had to die to produce, and I know that animals do it and that must be for a reason....I suppose I personally am on the fence about it in regards to eating 'kosher' (we don't practice strict kosher or anything, but we do try to use that as our guideline for meat consumption)...Benefits to it (if I was bleeding out - wouldn't even think twice about doing  the placenta under the tongue or in the cheek trick) with postpartum period hormone fluctrations etc.

But then there is the whole humans and human by product aren't proper to eat...
Eh, I'm so on the fence about it personally.

 

Are you going to prepare it or is your midwife? 

Sorry your dh is squeeked out by it.

 

post #66 of 74

 

Name: Maggie

Weeks/Days along:20 weeks on Saturday

Appointments: Have our anatomy scan on Wednesday, the 4th. find out then if I am further along then we thought, or that there are TWO!

Symptoms: I am feeling pretty good. Tired alot, and have begun to nap in the afternoons since I started vacation. Go back to work on Tuesday, so it could be interesting after having 2 weeks off work. My boobs are growing again, and sore at night. Nausea off and on. 

Food: no aversions at all. Eating bigger meals. 

Exercise: Just walking the dog really. I am going to go to pre-natal yoga in January, and hopefully start swimming again.

Body changes and other milestones: I have only gained 9 pounds since October. I feel pretty good about this. But I do need to buy some new bras. everyone has notice my belly over the holiday and my nephew has started kissing the baby hello and goodbye. 

Thoughts:  I am with everyone on the sex dreams. Having. them.lots. Share with DH and he likes hearing about them. We are pretty worked up about hearing/seeing if there are twins on Wednesday. But mostly just hoping that everything is ok with the anatomy scan. 

post #67 of 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by Onemoreontheway View Post

Are you going to prepare it or is your midwife? 

Sorry your dh is squeeked out by it.

 



Soon after the birth, I'll have DH (or a midwife if DH is too grossed out) prepare a smoothie with just a little placenta in it to help with bleeding and replenishing me right after birth. Then, I will put the rest in the fridge in a ziplock until the encapsulation specialist comes to the house. She said she usually comes within 48 hours of the birth and she charges $185 for the service. I figure it is worth it since she'll be driving all the way to my house and doing it for me while I just relax. I have never consumed the placenta before as my previous births were in a hospital. 

 

cristeen, I had the "routine" screenings done w/ my 1st two and everything was normal so I didn't even think about it. Now that I've had to go through the scare of having something abnormal discovered, I've been thinking a lot about the benefit of knowing vs. not knowing -- We are in that group of people that would not terminate and amnio scares me, so I've started to change my thinking. If I never went in for that anatomy scan, I would have saved myself a lot of worry. The scan led to me deciding to do the quad screen, and I am relieved that is came out well but part of me wishes I hadn't had the scan to begin with because then I would have had a lot less stress this holiday season. 

post #68 of 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by maggiemay81 View Post

Appointments: Have our anatomy scan on Wednesday, the 4th. find out then if I am further along then we thought, or that there are TWO!



Ours is on Wednesday too!  Woo hoo!!!

post #69 of 74
Thread Starter 

This is a hard one... I usually decline all the screenings but do the 20 week anatomy scan.  Although I wouldn't terminate, I do want to know if there is any special circumstance I should be prepared for...

 

but that is one of those things that is so hard to say I would want to know/not want to know... Because like you said, Meredith, if you never had the scan you would have avoided a whole lot of freaking and stressing out!  And at a certain point, the information you do have just leads to another test, and then another more invasive test, etc...

 

But its so hard to say...

 

Cristeen, your inlaws sound like mine.  I love my DH's mother, she is so awesome with the kids and I wish she lived closer.  She is just really mellow and easy to hang out with. 

 

My own mother on the other hand, is very difficult.  She is manipulative, petty, and always guilt trips me if I don't comply with her 100 percent.  It is totally absurd, and I kind of feel sorry for her--because she is lonely, but she is lonely because she is not a good friend, is critical of everyone, and is kind of mean.  I am so jealous of women who have good relationships with their moms... I try, but have given up.  I maintain some contact because my kids do love my parents, and they tend to be okay with the kids, most of the time.  I would never leave them alone, though. 

 

I love my big sister, though and am thankful to have her in my life!  She is super comforting and supportive, and just an awesome friend....

post #70 of 74

Placenta- ate mine with my son and I definitely think it made all the difference! I bounced right back, and felt fabulous a couple of days after. None of the crazy emotional-ness like I had after DD, either. I'm actually encapsulating now on a professional capacity (which by itself is a little weird, honestly... it's not like there's a training course for this!). My next encapsulation is in February.

 

Cristeen- With my first two I did an amnio to find out about Muscular Dystrophy, since I am a carrier. I had absolutely no intention of terminating but I really felt like I needed to KNOW if something was wrong, that I needed to do that processing before baby made an appearance. They're both fine, thankfully. This one I would have done the amnio except that A. I didn't want to know gender, and it's harder to arrange with an x-linked genetic disease, to get results without gender and B. I had a bad, bad feeling about it. I probably would have done it despite the gender issue except that I kept feeling like it was the wrong decision. So we skipped it. I feel mostly at peace with that decision... mostly. But my risks for transferring are a guaranteed 1 in 4. That's scary. If we had PLANNED any of our pregnancies, we may have tried to do something to avoid this... like IVF, etc. Except we have no money. And condoms are apparently useless, who knew? 

 

Showering with a newborn: DD was pretty high needs- screamed if you put her down, wouldn't sleep unless you were holding her, nursing constantly.... for months. I either showered while DH held her and she screamed, or I put her down and she screamed, or I brought her in the bath with me and she screamed. It got better at about 6 months and I'd put her in the exersaucer/bouncer while I showered, but i needed to be FAST.

 

DS for the first 6 weeks was just always on the boob. If he wasn't on the boob, he was screaming. So again I showered while he screamed in DH's arms. Once he got past those first 2 months (and had gained a considerable amount of weight!) he started sleeping better, so I'd put on a TV show for my daughter to distract her for 10 minutes (that's as much time as I could get out of her) and showered when my son was sleeping. Now at 2 and 3 years old, I can shower while they both watch TV or SOMETIMES I can do it while they're both playing, although any game they have only lasts a few minutes until one of them is crying. Or both of them. I try hard to avoid the TV- well, we don't actually have a TV, just a few downloaded programs on the computer- but I never have a problem with 10 minutes here and there so I can shower. Sometimes showering makes the difference between me being a horrible, crabby mom and a mom who is willing to play with them.

 

Eggs from APRIL? Holy moley. I don't really hold to expiration dates, it doesn't bother me at all. I check everything with the smell/taste test, and if it's too old I'll toss it regardless. I would eat eggs that expired in late November at this point, but I don't think I'd eat mid-November eggs. DEFINITELY not April. That's just gross. We also get all our eggs local, free-range, etc.... I don't know if that makes a difference to longevity- probably not?- but I feel better about that then eating expired factory farm eggs.

 

Forest- glad you have a sister you connect to! Having any family for support is awesome, and sisters are pretty fabulous. I love my sis <3

 

Also- how is it that people are so good at remembering people's names? I have trouble keeping track of my own screen name/real name thing sometimes. Oy!

 

We had our appointment with our second midwife today (midwives here work in teams, rotating on-call weeks) and she's pretty fabulous. I asked her what her "birthing style" is, if she encourages one behaviour or another from her labouring moms, and she started going into stories of some of the crazy positions she's had mom's deliver in (complete with demonstrations and sound effects!), her different rolls of hugging, hand holding and encouraging breathing, to dozing in a chair for a woman who is doing so fabulously on her own that she accidentally fell asleep a couple of times. It was a fun appointment. She also just recently weaned her breastfeeding 3 year old so we were comparing stories of toddler nursing antics and reactions to nursing a toddler in public, haha.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

post #71 of 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by MeredithA View Post
cristeen, I had the "routine" screenings done w/ my 1st two and everything was normal so I didn't even think about it. Now that I've had to go through the scare of having something abnormal discovered, I've been thinking a lot about the benefit of knowing vs. not knowing -- We are in that group of people that would not terminate and amnio scares me, so I've started to change my thinking. If I never went in for that anatomy scan, I would have saved myself a lot of worry. The scan led to me deciding to do the quad screen, and I am relieved that is came out well but part of me wishes I hadn't had the scan to begin with because then I would have had a lot less stress this holiday season. 


And I'm the opposite - I had the routine screening with my first, and spent the most hellish time of my life after that.  I walked into the appt (alone) all cheerful and happy, and walked out in total shock, in tears, having to drive home where my DH was anxiously awaiting me (I'd called his boss from the hospital and asked him to send him home).  With DS it wasn't even a question of whether we'd have the u/s because of the increased risk, but with this one I waffled for a really long time about it, but ultimately I decided that we can't risk not knowing about heart defects.  But that's why I'm such an advocate for thinking about the repercussions before having the testing.  I've gotten on my soap box many a time, and I'm sure I've alienated plenty of people about it, but I really feel you need to think about it (and talk about it) before doing it.  I know not everyone will choose to view it the same way I do (not having the tests if you're not willing to terminate), but if they at least have the conversation, then they'll know/be prepared for the possibility... YK?


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by forestmushroom View Post
Cristeen, your inlaws sound like mine.  I love my DH's mother, she is so awesome with the kids and I wish she lived closer.  She is just really mellow and easy to hang out with. 

 

 

They are great, but they're not my inlaws.  There is no blood between us, although I was raised calling them Aunt and Uncle and their kids "cousin".  I've actually never met my MIL, and that's just fine with me.  And while my dad adores DS, I doubt I'd be comfortable leaving them alone until such time as DS can clearly communicate his needs.  With my grandmother (DS' great-grandmother), I've left them alone once, and never again.  I can't even walk into the bathroom and leave them alone for the 2 minutes I need, I take him with me.  The other set of grandparents (also adopted) are also great, and adore him, but aren't as comfortable with the age, and also won't get alone time until he's communicative. 

 

Oh, and on the placenta issue, my MW does encapsulation, and we've been discussing the possibilities.  I had some pretty severe depression with DS, but no way of knowing if it was hormonal or circumstantial, so I'm not sure how I feel about it yet.  We buried DS1's placenta in the front yard under some jasmine, DS' is still in the freezer, so not sure what we're gonna do this time. 

post #72 of 74

My computer battery is dying so I will make this quick, whoever asked if I had a blog YES we do, sorry I didn't get back in the thread to get your name.  You can find our blog at www.inherithearth.blogspot.com  Although I haven't updated in SSOO long.  I couldn't be bothered with all the morning sickness and general feelings of blech.......But I have new things planned for the new year and have made a resolution to post more often.  I enjoy writing and have missed not posting. Our internet here is lousy too and we charge our laptop with a solar panel,(no electricity), so if it's cloudy for a few days we have no internet.  

I hear you all on families and mothers. especially.  Mine thinks we are harming our children by taking them out of "normal" socity and having them do things like milk a cow and tend the chickens and live with out a WII or TV or movies.  We don't have running hot water either and my mother about has a fit when she comes here, that she has to wait for the cookstove to heat up water to wash!  I know our lifestyle is not for everyone and we don't ask anyone to to agree with us, but we did expect a bit more support from our parents! I am an only child so my mom and dad hang a lot of expectation on me.  One thing they didn't expect was to have 9 grandchildren!!!!!

 

I have learned more about what you could do with a placenta then I ever knew, search and rescue, fascinating!!  My placentas are always huge, so are my babies, but the Dr.s are always going on about how big they are, I could eat for a month off one of mine;)!!  Who knew you could pay someone to put it in to pills for you.  Wait til I tell my mom that!!!!!

 

Tomorrow is the 1st, only 17 more days til our level 2 U/S, waiting is getting harder, trying NOT to do a lot of research on google.  

 

post #73 of 74

EEKK I almost forgot, now that we know we are having a girl, she now has a name!!            Aliviah Anne Alice!!!        

Aliviah is pronounced just like Olivia just with an A and her middle name is for DH's grandmother, Ann Alice, she was a strong woman who lived a pioneer life and LIKED it!!

I plan on calling her Aliviah Anne.  Thanks for letting me share, I am having so much fun with this DDC!!  Thanks ladies!

post #74 of 74

PlainMama, I know this is going to be a loooong 17 days for you! I think you are right to avoid doing a lot of research on Google. It might just drive you crazy. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers and I am hoping that you get a reassuring ultrasound at your next appointment. Aliviah Anne is an adorable name, too!

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