Do mothers get thank you's?

[Rebecca Kiel]

Someone recently said to me, “Mothering is a thankless job.”

This comment didn’t make sense to me.  I felt disjointed about it for hours after.

Yes, if you hold the expectation that a four-year old will say thank you every time you help him on the potty, dry him after a bath, provide a meal, yes, mothering WILL feel like a thankless job. 

As mothers, our satisfaction in our jobs, our feedback is in the well-being of our children.  If our children are for the most part healthy and happy, aside from what is beyond our control, then we can rest assured that we are doing a good job at raising our kids.

It is true, we are humans raising humans.  And as humans, it feels good to get a thank you once in a while.  And if we slow down, take a deep breath and pay close attention our days with our children abound with signs of gratitude that come not through their little pink mouths, but directly from their hearts.

A content sigh of an infant is a thank you.

A dandelion picked from the yard and brought in is a thank you.

Our children’s laughter is a thank you.

An invitation to play in some imaginary world is a thank you.

All of these and more are the ways our children express their gratitude and love for all we do.

How has your child thanked you today?

[cpenderg]

Thank you for this.  I feel tired and worthless most days.  Being a mom is so hard because I miss the "good job stickers" and visible signs of appreciation from work and college.  You don't get the same instant satisfaction and acknowledgement as a mom.

[zinemama]

My children rarely thank me. And to be honest, while I appreciate those things you mention, I don't consider them thank yous.

However, my husband thanks me nearly every day for the hard work I do at home. That's what I appreciate.

[Ellp]

Thank you, OP for such a beautiful post! 

I rarely think that my life as a mother is a thank-less job, because of the reasons you described.  A few ways my girls have "thanked" me today have been:

-going to sleep quickly after a tiring day

-finishing up their dinner that I made

-mostly remembering to use their manners

-their eyes lighting up when I made an Apple cake, as described in their story book.

-hugs and kisses before bed.

[Masel]

I get verbal thanks yous. I never let things get so informal around here that thank yous get neglected. I thanked DH for taking out the trash. I thanked DD1 for hanging up her coat (mostly because I know she hated doing it right then.) Consequently I get thanked for making dinner sometimes.