December chat 27th-January 2nd - Page 4 « Back to Group Discussions

[Hillary77]

Quote:

I'm still pregnant too. 40+2....oy, annoyed by everyone and everything. Took a nap today that was heaven, hoping it was my body telling me that I needed to rest up for tonight.

Me too, Mammamo! We're due date buddies. I've been very short on patience and trying to figure out how to invite the kind of peace I think I need to get into my baby-having mode while dealing with 10 yr old dd, 8 yr old step-dd and a house full of people with various needs...the Holidays etc. etc. things feel so much more chaotic than when I was pregnant with dd! My baby boy seems very content on the inside...I have a huge belly with lots of fluid and room for him, he's still very active in there. MW did a VE last appt. and he's at -1, I'm about 50% effaced but barely a fingertip dialated and not stretchy. I've been walking, bouncing on my exercise ball, doing EPO and RRL tea...gettin' it on with my honey...but really I think it will be a while yet.

Had a big cry today about how no one is sympathetic enough and I feel outside pressure based on other people's schedules to have the baby soon. It felt good to let it out but it's just so hard to be where we are right now! I hate going out in public but don't want to be cooped up inside either! But really - I have people literally yelling things at me from moving cars (twins? or WOW! seem to be the most common). I swear if it were men who carried the babies, people would not feel quite so entitled to comment on their bodies all the time. I was polite and understanding for a while and now I am just FED UP! And then of course I feel guilt for being a big grump. My step-dd said today "wow, all of your dresses are shirts now!" about the dress I was wearing with leggings (which was longer before the belly was bigger). It's sucks to get pissy with an 8 yr old about an innocent comment like that but it's hard to help also.

May the force be with us  I'm sure we'll have our sweet babies within a week's time.

Edited by Hillary77 - 1/1/12 at 2:19am

[mammamo]

Hillary- yup, I didnt go to church this morning either, I've been moping around the house and picking up, will probably have a long shower....done answering my phone, done answering facebook posts....I need to have a good cry too probably.

[jesusfollower]

Trying to catch up a little around here, but it's annoying on an iPod and I'm still resting in bed, which means no computer for now. I might get the laptop later and write a longer report, but for now, Norah and I are both doing great. I'm recovering well and she's an adorable, mellow baby. We're even sleeping well at night! We had a bit of a rough time when my milk came in because she couldn't handle it all... She would choke and refuse to latch on or nurse, which made her hungry, which made her cry, which made my milk let down... Lol. Made for a long night, but we've got it figured out now.

For you mamas who are still waiting... You're almost there! So soon now you'll be holding your babies. Peace to you as you wait...

[rachelroo]

I had my baby! Genevieve was born at 9:29am 12/31 at exactly 41 weeks. I labored for 36 hours, crazy back labor because she was OP. I felt bad because I got pain meds in the birth center so I could rest between contractions, but I don't feel bad that I got them, rather because my mom was there and I have always been the natural birth believing daughter with her, and I had a not so natural birth. I sort of feel like it disappointed her.  It's sort of like an earlier poster said about being so knowledgeable about breastfeeding and yet being a person who has difficulty with it.  I being a doula should have a smoother birth because I'm so knowledgeable about the subject right? wrong! I'll make an individual post with pictures and the whole story but I'll save that for when I get home.

[onetwoten]

*hugs Rachelroo*  I understand. I have a post in birth professionals about being disappointed with a birth that really went pretty well for everyone elses standards. But because I'm a doula, and because I've done so much research, I was disappointed with it. I still haven't been able to sit down and write my birth story because I'm too emotional about it. Give yourself time to heal. Eventually you do start to be able to pick out the good things as well and 'forgive' yourself a bit. 

[cwill]

Happy New Year everyone!

My little boy arrived just under a week ago, the day after Christmas.  I was totally shocked when my water broke!  Mentally I was hunkered down for another week of pregnancy.  I'll give his birth story its own thread, but everything went really well and he is beautiful and perfect.  DH and I have had a lovely babymoon with just a handful of visitors (and some of our favorite people) dropping off food.  He has off all next week as well and then my mom arrives for 10 days.

Recovery has been hard, I can't lie.  I had a second degree tear, which isn't that big a deal.  Uncomfortable, but getting markedly better every day.  The biggie is that I lost a lot of blood - no one is sure how.  But my H&H are super low, I passed out a couple of times shortly after birth.  They had me stay an extra day and my counts were still dropping, but they decided I was tolerating the low numbers and I came home after 48 hours.  But it's been so hard.  I'm so feeble.  I need to rest after taking a shower.  I almost passed out again at the pediatrician's office on Friday and I've been afraid to do anything since.

I don't want to do anything except enjoy my baby anyways so you'd think I'd appreciate an excuse.  But the difference is that I can't do anything.  It's so frustrating.

[LilMomma83]

*hugs* Rachel and Jenine..all of my births were close to natural, but, when I weaned DS2 very very young I knew I had made the right decision but still felt so out of place and uncomfortable because I am educated and surrounded by people who extended breastfeed (including my mom) and I felt like I have letting people down and also felt judged...looking back on it I don't think that was the case at all, but, it was hard!

cwill- congrats! I hope your recovery is quicker than you expect! I lost a lot of blood this time also and my recovery was way harder than my previous births even though I hardly tore at all this time (DD was posterior though and I think that may have caused some bruising). I'm 3 weeks postpartum now, and I've been taking iron and placenta, but, I am starting to feel a lot better. I'm not sore at all now and I don't get lightheaded or anything. I DO still get fatigued pretty easily and quickly, but, as long as I do things in spurts with rests inbetween I'm ok...I did almost NOTHING for like 4 days straight (last weekend) and I think that helped a lot.

[Azadehhast]

Oh, don't I have a lot to say on being disappointed in my birth. It's still so tender for me, I can't really talk to anyone but DH about it yet; when people ask how he birth was, I just say something like 'long and hard' but don't even mention the C/S. I have a hard time even thinking the term, it feels like such failure to me. It's actually strange to me that during the whole ordeal, I had no real qualms about what was happening, because I knew I was doing and had done everything I possibly could to birth my child, but now....I can't help but feel the unfairness of it all, that so many women don't care at all how they give birth, while I've been preparing for it my whole life. Giving birth is the one thing I've always needed to do, and the one thing I never doubted my ability to do, and knowing that I couldnt birth my baby really crushes my confidence in myself.
I look at my perfect, perfect, strong boy who I love so unspeakably much and try to remember that we did absolutely everything we could, he and I together. He just would not turn from ROT, not with positions, not with water breaking, not with the doctor manually turning his head, not with the 37 hours at home and the 12 more in hospital. And I remember with lots of tears how, when his heartbeat was crashing because we both had given everything we possibly had to the laboring, I rubbed his body through my belly and whispered messages of love to him, and we saw him respond. I kept him alive. That means so much.
This recovery is so miserable, too. I've never had surgery before, and my body has always been so strong, so I'm sure that makes this feel worse...but god, I'm so tired of pain, of having to have DH help pull me out of bed with every feeding, of being exhausted from something as simple as hanging the diapers to dry, of feeling so damn broken. In some ways, it feels like that endless laboring just goes on and on every day.
Also, you know, the world doesn't give one much of a chance to admit that a birth is traumatic and just accept it. I mean, yes, I know, I got this wonderful baby out of it, and I can *almost* say he was worth it, but I kind if just need permission to say it was really, really hard and not have to tack on the positives at the end.

Anyway, so yeah, it's all just really hard.

[aeterna]

I remember reading a thread on these forums about how parenting/birth had humbled you, and I remember being struck by the beauty and honesty of those posts. I think parenthood humbles ALL of us, if we are sincere and open to its lessons. I think that is what allows us to be rebuilt stronger, more loving, more patient, more understanding, more connected. For some of us, those lessons start early, with birth... For some they come later.

It is hard right now, unbelievably hard, but look - you are doing it. Every time you think you can do no more, you do it. You are already stronger than you know, and you've only just started. You are an inspiration. =)

[BennyPai]

Originally Posted by aeterna 

You are already stronger than you know, and you've only just started. 

Azadehhast:  aeterna hits the nail on the head.  Peace, love, and light.  And hugs.  

I just posted a thread about processing the birth experience.  For the first time (this is my 4th birth) I am feeling overwhelmed and lost.  

I hope anyone who needs to will join the thread.  

[LilMomma83]

Originally Posted by aeterna 

I remember reading a thread on these forums about how parenting/birth had humbled you, and I remember being struck by the beauty and honesty of those posts. I think parenthood humbles ALL of us, if we are sincere and open to its lessons. I think that is what allows us to be rebuilt stronger, more loving, more patient, more understanding, more connected. For some of us, those lessons start early, with birth... For some they come later.
It is hard right now, unbelievably hard, but look - you are doing it. Every time you think you can do no more, you do it. You are already stronger than you know, and you've only just started. You are an inspiration. =)

Very well said.

[Ruthiegirl]

Oh lovely mamas, yes motherhood is a deeply humbling experience.  And a traumatic birth experience is a deep wound... be easy and let time help heal all of your aches, the physical and emotional ones both.

I am having my own humbling experience as I am dealing with more and more prodromal labor at 41 weeks.  So tired, so worn down, so weepy...I was up from 2am till 7 am this morning with painful, deep contractions.  This has been a hard pregnancy and is proving to be difficult right up to the very end. If the contractions start again tonight, I will be very tempted to go in and ask them to break my water.  I am just so very done.  

[SierraBella]

Hugs to mamas processing their birth experiences. 

My first birth was very traumatic and hard for me. It took a long time to heal from it. And emotions surfaced again from that experience with this birth as well. It does take time, you'll never forget, but it does get better, I promise. 

[mammamo]

Azad= ((HUGS)) and agree with everyone on here.

My water is leaking and I'm working on getting into a good labor pattern.

[Hillary77]

Originally Posted by mammamo 

Azad= ((HUGS)) and agree with everyone on here.

My water is leaking and I'm working on getting into a good labor pattern.

Woo Hoo, Mammamo! 

I still have very little going on, but just came back from acupuncture and am taking caulophyllum and cimicifuga while dp has the kiddos at the park....

I am trying to just chill 

[LilMomma83]

Great news Mammamo!

I ventured out to (indoor) soccer practice with my 3 and no DH tonight...and we all got home in one piece! Actually it went really well...though I'm exhausted since I wore DD the whole time...plus another hour after I got home because I had to make dinner. Soccer was held at the Y where I (sort of) work, so it was fun showing DD off to my coworkers too...we got so much oohing and ahhing and attention - it was fun :-)

Tomorrow we are going to LLL, so that should be fun too...and I'm looking forward to seeing some normal nursers..just so I can remember what that's like and what I am working towards. Today has been tough..I think DD's latch is actually deteriating and she's falling asleep faster... I'm just feeling discouraged and uncertain....I say all that and then I rememebr I just adjusted my placenta dose down again today and each time I have done that I've had 2 days of feeling a bit more blue...so maybe its just that and actually she is doing fine! We shall see!

Umm yeah..and I'm not sure I'm *really* done having kids.....though I'd like to wait a few years. I'm 28 - I think I could wait 4-5 years and have 2 more :-) LOL

[Ruthiegirl]

Originally Posted by mammamo 

Azad= ((HUGS)) and agree with everyone on here.

My water is leaking and I'm working on getting into a good labor pattern.

   Yeah!!!!!    So excited for you!