Chat Thread: Dec 27th Jan 3rd - Page 4

[Katico]

Nuclear Christmas: You've inspired me, Starling  - time for me to grow a spine......better to deal with  ruffled feathers than to regret missing out on our own Christmas in these precious, little years.

playsilks:Thank you for the btdt info, pi!  Friends and I are going to order some silks and give it a go!  I think I might try some silk paint also

This

Quote:

Originally Posted by livacreature 

Windi:  Dudes, I'm trying it.  I don't want to give her anything for this gas and it seems like the perfect solution!  Brilliant!  Now if it just had something in it to make cool sounds with the air is released.  Like a kazoo.  

and this

Quote:

Originally Posted by livacreature 

In-law rant #1,000,002

DH was on the phone with them.  "Yeah, Aura's starting to coo back when we talk to her."  Long pause.  "No, of course she isn't talking, she's not even three months old....no,I don't think something might be wrong with her hearing.  She's too young to talk...even a little bit...yes, I'm sure."  They drop it after a few more minutes.  "No, she isn't sitting up yet.  She holds her head up and looks around.  She was rolling before they put her in the harness."  Pause.  "No.  Three month olds aren't usually sitting up or crawling.  No, she can't pull herself up.  She's three months old."  Another pause.  "No.  She is no where close to delayed right now."

"Yeah, she was 8lb, 3 oz at the pediatrician."  Pause.  "No, they don't think she is overweight."

and this

Quote:

Originally Posted by RosemaryS-F 

Awesome. "Here Mikey, have a toy! Wooden toys are so good for kids. And you know what else is good for kids? You guessed it, the Rod of Correction. We make colorful, wooden Rods of Correction just for crunchy parents. Whack whack."

and this

Quote:

Originally Posted by not_telling 

Rosemary - Happy Anniversary!  Sounds like you had a very random day, which, of course, had to include poopies.  I believe 10th anniversary is gold and 11th is poopies.

and this

Quote:

Originally Posted by theboysmama 

oh I hear you! Days like that makes me realize why some animals eat their young.

made me laugh out loud.  Seriously.  Thank you all, I needed that!

Tummy time:  DD1 hated it so I didn't bother with it much...and she also never really crawled but cruised and walked at 9mo.  I'm not worrying much about it with Claire, she doesn't like it much either and is VERY strong already. She was born holding her head up and she can stand and hold her own weight entirely, which is nothing to sneeze at when you weigh 13lb 9 oz!

theboysmama:  I am so thrilled to hear you and DD have bonded - isn't it amazing how your heart can open up like that and love someone so completely?!

shrinking laundry:  I would totally lose it on DH if he shrank my favourite thing....oh wait, that would never happen because he doesn't even know how to work the washer/dryer without asking for help.  

Resolutions: Some pretty standard stuff has been on my mind....buy/waste less, DIY more, eat better, get out more...but right now I'm thinking of these things as getting back on track with the things I already was doing before being thrown off by pregnancy/newborn land.  I'd like this to be the year I finally get around to making something of our master bedroom, it's the last room in the house that's basically undecorated.  I'd also like to knit myself a sweater this year - I knit for everyone else, never for myself.  

The biggest thing on my mind is to really examine the gap between the parent I want to be and where I'm at.  I need to play more (I really don't like to play...is that terrible? I love doing "real" things with her - cooking, crafting etc, but pretend play is hard for me) , read together more, be more present, find more patience. 

I've also been giving a lot of thought to the fact that DD1 is 2.5 and really not very far from school age (they start here around 5) and we are probably either going to homeschool or go private....so I have to think about our options.  I want to make this year an experiment of sorts and see if I honestly can make a go of homeschooling - I'm afraid I won't be able to get out enough, be social enough, etc for her as she gets older.  I do think a home-based life is super important for little people but DD1 is very social and and I don't want out home/unschooling to be about us sitting around home all the time.  The best part of not being in "school" is the freedom to go and do things!

QOTD-Resolutions re:newborn:  not shaft her too much as the second child, haha?  fill out her baby book?  

January DDC Losses: Makes me so sick and sad :(

 

Heavy wetters:  Looooving the fuzzibunz I got the other day, they're adorable and so soft!  I was reading on their site and this little tidbit made me laaaaaaaaaaugh:

Q. How often do I need to change my baby?

A. Every parent knows their baby best. If you have a heavy wetter, we suggest changing more often—every 2-3 hours. If you have a light wetter—you can change your baby every 3-4 hours. A second insert can be used to extend time between changes for nighttime.

Oh my.  Every 2-3 hours?!?!?!   I WISH. Last night, Claire peed every 15-20 minutes.  For hours.  And everytime, she screamed until I changed her.  Tonight, she peed twice in 5 minutes.  

Someone mentioned to me that frequent urination can be a sign of a food sensitivity - anyone have any experience with this?  

babywearing: We'll often go out walking for an hour or so in the morning and I wear Claire.  An hour or two while out doing groceries etc.  Mostly at home I don't wear her.  If we're back from a walk and she's asleep I'll leave her in.  Or if she's super fussy and I need to get something done.  But she, and dd1 before her, really prefers to be out and looking around at the world and what I'm doing.  And she's such an easy baby it isn't often that she's fussy or clingy.  I always wear her when we're out though - never a stroller.  I haven't had any back troubles yet - I did find I had some pain when DD1 was older and I wore her for long stretches because she was on one hip and it throws your balance off

It's funny, I felt like theboysmama does when I had DD1 - I felt like I should be wearing or holding her all the time, it's what I imagined myself doing and thought I was somehow failing at AP for not, but that I decided that my baby was curious and happier to be sitting or playing independently when we were at home (even from 2-3 weeks old) and that I was honouring her wishes by letting her do it!  It certainly never hurt our bonding etc and she was thrilled to be in the sling while we were out in the world

I feel like I'm losing some coherence here....it's been a long day....

livacreature:  hi-five on the 2.5 oz!!

disposable stink:  right?!

Quote:

Originally Posted by RosemaryS-F 

New Year's Resolution...To get back into painting daily or as regularly as possible? My friend Rick showed me his new paintings last night; he's self-taught and a real inspiration as far as nose to the grindstone is concerned. Guy has a not-yet 3 year old and twin not-yet 1 year olds, and finds time to paint.

Does Guy have a wife?  Explains it ;)

Hey! Remember when I posted about my friend who was in the coma, with an 8% chance of survival? Actually, one doctor of the 8 that saw him gave him those odds, and everyone else said he would not survive after being brain dead for 30 minutes. Saw his ex-wife last night at the party and he is out of the coma and seems quite normal albeit "goofier and more innocent" but most definitely going to live and not be in any sort of vegetative state!!!!!! He started coming out of it by saying, "I would like some orange juice, please." :)

And this is soooooo amazing to hear!!  Imagine!!!

AFM:  Had such a nice supper tonight - grilled steak with mushrooms, roasted chickpeas and asparagus...felt so good to cook and normal meal again, nothing so rich as all the holiday food we've been eating.  

Hard day with DD1.  She put my resolution to be more patient to the test from the moment I opened my eyes.  She really needs me right now, needs more attention and play than she ever has before....but how do I balance that with my own needs and not let her suck me dry?! I'm used to her being a very independant little person who preferred to play by herself.  I'm pretty tired of being needed, right now.  

[lifeguard]

rosemary - that's incredible!

[not_telling]

Lemme start with this:  Tonight I actually said, "Sure, you can have dessert....after you finish your lobster."  Seriously.  This kid who was all about the lobster when we were in Maine (15 months ago...) had to be [cringe] bribed to eat one piece of it tonight.

Let's see...

Rosemary - So great and amazing about your friend!

Babywearing - We pretty much only do it when we're out of the house.  In the house I just count on those times when she's zonked in her bouncy chair to get stuff done.

Heavy Wetting - 2-3 hours for a heavy wetter...uh, I don't think so...unless you're talking disposables.  Actually today we switched DD from using just the inserts of the fitted diapers (we use Growing Greens) to using the fitted diaper itself (sans insert at this point).  We had to unsnap her Thirsties cover to its full size, but it seems fine and we can go a bit longer before having to change her if there's no poop.

Sleep Revelation - Ok...this is probably just a revelation to me and everyone will be like, "uhhh, duh."  Until DS was getting ready to start preschool, he always went to bed when we did.  This being because he was in our room until he was 2 yrs and wouldn't go to sleep without us there.  And he definitely woke up a lot in that first year or two.  And then when he was in his own room, we just stayed with that schedule of him going to sleep between 10:30-11:30pm (and luckily, once in his own room he usually woke only 0-2 times a night).  Now, of course, he goes to bed earlier and gets up earlier...and I do, too.  So DD has been on this schedule of mommy, daddy and baby all being in bed for the night by about 10:00pm most nights.  And, as I've mentioned, she's been sleeping pretty well, once she actually  goes to sleep (which could be by 10:30pm or as late as 12:30-1:00am on a bad night).  She'll usually sleep for 5-7 hours straight.  Well, since DH has been on vacation these last couple weeks, he and I (and DD) have been going to bed later and later.  And DD's sleep started to get all wonky...with lots more waking up.  So the last two nights we've gone back to being in bed by 10:15-10:30 and she's back to sleeping better.  Which makes me wonder if DS would've slept better in those early days if we all actually went to bed earlier.  At least he wasn't "messed up" for good...he usually sleeps 10-11 hours a night and usually doesn't get up at all.

I think there were more things I wanted to respond to, but I don't know how to go back and look at a previous page when I'm in the midst of a reply.

[emmaegbert]

hmm... changing... I change as soon as I notice baby is wet. We do EC so I am pretty on top of it and generally she is using the potty or being changed every hour (or less). longer stretches during naps. but with the EC that still adds up to about 2-6 wet diapers a day (not counting night diaper). If I am out and know its going to be hard to change/potty her, I often have her wear a sposie. We use the unbleached "natural" brands (like seventh generation, or whole foods store brand, or the drugstore chain here has one too) b/c I too cannot stand the smell of the regular sposies. I hate most scents though, of all sorts. I think I might be like a hyper-taster but of those smells?

babywearing: ugh, I feel like I do it ALL THE TIME. Its just me and 3 kids in an itty bitty apartment a lot of the time. I simply can't leave the baby unattended or the sibling love gets overwhelming/dangerous very quickly. I give her some floor time during meals, if she is in a good mood, and sometimes during older DDs nap. mostly we use ergo with infant "heart to heart" insert when out (and we are out a couple of hours a day often, walking around) and usually ring sling, tummy to tummy, indoors. I have to forcibly bend her legs for her sometimes to get her to "sit" down in the sling. I have plans to make a mei tai b/c I think that might be handy in the house- a little more versatile and I could start a back carry sooner.

tummy time: I don't really bother, with all the babywearing (we don't even own a bouncy seat or a sling and she cosleeps in bed with us... and she is never in a carseat or a stroller yet- she's gone on 2 car trips in her life)... I just don't worry about her having a problem developing her trunk muscles. I never really did it with the others and they were both very strong and very early with sitting and gross motor skills in general (I have videos of older DD sitting on her own and rolling a ball back and forth with her brother at 4m).

Katico I don't really play with my kids either. I believe I am "playful" and I support their healthy play, but I am personally not one of those grownups who are all getting into the games. I don't sweat it. My kids are super imaginative and play and play and play on their own (and increasingly, with eachother).

[Katico]

Sooo...I just was snarky about how DH didn't know how to use the washing machine and was thinking to myself how he'd likely decide to surprise me some day, do a load and ruin something.....

Yeah.  So, I just went down to switch the laundry and a) realized I had washed a disposable with my cloth diapers (thankfully it remained intact and didn't spread it's innards) and b) almost threw a very delicate handknit silk/wool lace baby sweater in a hot wash with a load of towels

[saoirse2007]

Been here with dh's family in Newfoundland since 18 Dec - they are mostly on welfare so no internet

New Years Day today - bitersweet - Ds turned 5 today, had a small party, hardly anyone showed up and he did not even get 1 present - arsehole relatives at least he is still young enough to be distracted by mom :)

[lifeguard]

So sorry about ds' bday - hope he enjoyed his day anyway - did you do something special? I've always wanted to go to nfld.

[emmaegbert]

we don't do a lot of presents at birthdays, maybe one or two things. Usually we try to do something special (a special family dinner or party or whatever). That has been fine with our kids and my oldest who turned 7 this year seems cool with it. Annoying if family won't even "celebrate" though!

haha, I have washed sposies several times with my cloth diapers... sometimes I tried to blame it on a babysitter or DH, but it was probably me who threw it in the diaper pail (since honestly, its me doing most of the diaper changing anyway...). Haven't yet with this kid. I figure that is better than tossing a cloth diaper in the trash!

[emmaegbert]

(as you may have realized, I have rather low standards for myself in terms of housework type tasks)

[RosemaryS-F]

Katico, my friend does have a wife, but he paints after everyone is asleep. Not a duty shirker, that is what is cool about it, and also what makes me feel inadequate, I suppose. Also, so sorry that your patience is in jeopardy today.

Not telling, can I have dessert after I finish my lobster? Funny, I just read this and my ds said, "You know what mama, we are going to eat lobster tonight!" And I said, "I was thinking chicken." "No, we can go get lobster at the store." "Lobster is a special treat for special occasions." "Well, we can have it for dessert how about?" Oh, and your bedtime is really amazing. Would your ds take legendary naps every day?

changing: i don't change every pee. I do more the schedule that Katico posted, but neither kid has really minded a little wet. Poop is immediate. Yesterday Iona pooped at church, and since we forgot wipes, we waited till we came home. My dh reasoned that it had gotten warm and comfy, kind of like peeing in your wetsuit.

Saoirse, happy birthday to your ds. Sorry your relatives were so crappy about it.

[lifeguard]

katico - I totally missed your long post somehow. I hear you on being more present with the littles. I have been making a concerted effort to be more present with ds & I think it is helping. I've also noticed that now that I am sleeping enough & not sick he is suddenly back to being himself (the one I remember before dd was born). I am thinking a lot of his neediness & extreme behaviour has been a reaction to me being less plugged in to him, even though I was trying, it wasn't enough I guess. I am going to try to "homeschool" this next few months. Very, very, very informal but more as a test to see if I have it in me to be a bit more structured. My goal right now is just to try to do ONE structured/planned activity every week that has a learning outcome as it's goal. I've got lots of ideas pinned on pinterest right now!

frequent peeing - I don't know, imo babies just pee really frequent. I've never ec'd but when I pl'd ds when he was 22 months I was SHOCKED at how often he peed. I didn't have a clue he was peeing that frequently with a dipe on! But it didn't take long of pl'ing before he started stretching out between pees.

emmaegbert - if I didn't keep low levels for housework for myself all I would do is clean! Sometimes I find it less stressful to just accept the mess than to try to stay on top of it.

afm - ds went to my Mom's today & it looks as though I will be doing NOTHING with the time! I am well rested & it's dh's last day off. I had a nap & now we are going to watch Inception.

[livacreature]

DD will only poop when I'm holding her.  It is odd.  She was playing with my husband all morning, the second I come downstairs and pick her up, she poops.  This has happened everyday this week.  So weird.  She never has pooped when anyone else holds her, and DH holds her as much as I do.

She had a BAD night last night.  I feel for you mamas with babes that aren't into sleep.  She was up four times, each time for about two hours.  She'd settle for about twenty minutes.  I finally gave up, put her between us after she was feed and changed and just let her fuss as I cuddled her, she usually sleeps next to the bed.  I maybe got an hour of sleep last night.  Fortunately, around seven I kicked DH and told him it was his turn.  He took her downstairs and I got to nap until eleven.  Question, does not actively soothing count as crying it out?  I was holding her, she was feed, changed, I just kind of gave up for a little bit.  She did fall asleep about ten minutes later.  She is so rarely that fussy, especially at night.  I felt bad, but there is only so much bouncing and shushing that can be done.  And she was still being held.

[RosemaryS-F]

You mean you're holding her, but she's crying, you're exhausted, and you're not doing flips to soothe her? Nope, I don't think that's CIO at all. That's just crying. Sometimes it's too taxing to make them stop, like you've thought of everything. They're people, and we can't make them change how they feel if they just feel like crying! That is my take.

[~pi]

Visiting the ILs here and having a really lovely time. Went for a walk in the woods today, and baby did great -- slept the whole way and did not fuss about the very cold wind.

saoirse, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to your big boy! So sorry his extended family wasn't as excited about it, but at least you were able to distract him.

[lifeguard]

livacreature - sometimes I think just being there is enough - not the same as cio at all.

[Katico]

Originally Posted by lifeguard 

katico - I totally missed your long post somehow. I hear you on being more present with the littles. I have been making a concerted effort to be more present with ds & I think it is helping. I've also noticed that now that I am sleeping enough & not sick he is suddenly back to being himself (the one I remember before dd was born). I am thinking a lot of his neediness & extreme behaviour has been a reaction to me being less plugged in to him, even though I was trying, it wasn't enough I guess. I am going to try to "homeschool" this next few months. Very, very, very informal but more as a test to see if I have it in me to be a bit more structured. My goal right now is just to try to do ONE structured/planned activity every week that has a learning outcome as it's goal. I've got lots of ideas pinned on pinterest right now!

frequent peeing - I don't know, imo babies just pee really frequent. I've never ec'd but when I pl'd ds when he was 22 months I was SHOCKED at how often he peed. I didn't have a clue he was peeing that frequently with a dipe on! But it didn't take long of pl'ing before he started stretching out between pees.

I'd love to follow you on pinterest!  (Here I am http://pinterest.com/katico/ )

And interesting re: the peeing - you're probably right!  I think DD1 was just more tolerent of wet and wet less each time, so I didn't realize how often she was probably going.  DD2 is instantly unhappy.  And I'm doing a LOT of diaper washing!

Also, I was reading back old threads on the 3 day potty learning method and saw you did it with your DS!  We are starting tomorrow.  New potty and elmo undies and bribes, err...rewards,,,in hand.  I'm terrified.  And so thankful I have no carpets in the house.   

Originally Posted by RosemaryS-F 

You mean you're holding her, but she's crying, you're exhausted, and you're not doing flips to soothe her? Nope, I don't think that's CIO at all. That's just crying. Sometimes it's too taxing to make them stop, like you've thought of everything. They're people, and we can't make them change how they feel if they just feel like crying! That is my take.

  It wasn't  CIO imo!  You met her needs and held her.  I think sometimes they need the space to fuss, like we need to let toddlers feel and express their anger/sadness/frustration.  My dd1 went through a stage where she would often fuss and cry when she was tired, even though she was clean and fed and held - it was just part of her winding down and she would fall asleep after a5-10 minutes.  She didn't really need to be bounced etc - it didn't work anyway when she was in that place!  
 

[beautifulmoon]

livacreature I don't think what you did was CIO at all. Sometimes you have to try to save your sanity. I think when babies get that worked up, anyway, they may not even register whether you're responding sensitively to them or just ignoring them. I had to adjust my expectations for myself in that regard because I was getting anxious and depressed from trying to keep these unattainable ideals. Babies will cry, and it's okay.

Rosemary That's great about your friend. 

Diaper changing DD isn't too particular about wet diapers (just about the only thing she's not fussy about), but I try to change it at least every 4 hours or so. What I wonder is if it's always necessary to use a wipe when it's just a wet diaper and baby herself is dry. 

Saiorse So sorry about your DS's birthday. I hope he had a good time anyway.

Well, I'm returning to work this Saturday. It's only a single Saturday shift for now, but I'm a bit worried because DD still won't accept a bottle very easily. We've only succeeded in getting her to accept the bottle twice. The last time she took it only after she missed a few feedings and only drank a 1/2 ounce or so. Needless to say, DD and I never been apart for more than a few hours either, so it'll be a big adjustment.

[Katico]

Originally Posted by beautifulmoon 

Diaper changing DD isn't too particular about wet diapers (just about the only thing she's not fussy about), but I try to change it at least every 4 hours or so. What I wonder is if it's always necessary to use a wipe when it's just a wet diaper and baby herself is dry. 

I rarely wipe for just pee.  I use a wet washcloth a couple of times/day to keep her fresh and for poop but that's it.  I actually found too much wiping = diaper rash for both my girls

[tank]

beautifulmoon I am returning to work tomorrow!  I am nervous just like you because DS hasn't really fully accepted the bottle.  I think we just need to jump into it and he will get it, I hope so anyway!  Still super nervous though.  I know I am going to try and have him eat as much as possible before I leave and then he is probably going to be attached to my boob all night tomorrow night.

[lifeguard]

beautifulmoon & tank - best wishes for work & lo's accepting bottles

diapers - I generally only wipe after poops but try to give some airing out time.

katico - I followed you on pinterest - you have soooo much to look at! 3 day pottying - didn't take 3 days for us but by day 3 ds was definitelt getting it. He was 22 months & barely verbal but just seemed ready to me (I truly cannot describe why I felt that but it was clear to me at the time). Stickers were our best reward. Good luck with it!

Ds napped at my Mom's today. He went to bed 2.5 hours ago & is still awake in there! So frustrating! He's good, stays in his room, for the most part plays quietly but a part of me feels it's unfair to leave him in there sooooo long, but worry about starting a bad habit of having him stay up too late. Sigh. Why does a nap mess up bedtime so severely?!