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2nd Child Pregnancies - Page 3

post #41 of 105

nice to find this thread! its so specific to my situation -- especially thinking of what to do with the sleeping arrangements!

 

my dd will be just over 3 when the baby is born.

 

i'm thinking of moving her into her own room a few months before the baby comes.  dreading re-arranging the house though!

we'll have to move our 'office' into the living room.  

 

Anyone hear of keeping the toddler in the same room with mom and newborn?  I mean, do they get woken up or just get used to it?  I guess it depends on the child.   

post #42 of 105

At this point my plan is to keep everyone in the same room and hope it works out.  If it really doesn't work then I'll deal with it later.

post #43 of 105
Thread Starter 

Yeah, our plan is to continue cosleeping, all of us, with Cecilia's sidecar at her disposal if she wants space. If it turns out that she can't sleep at all with the baby waking up at night, we'll figure something out, I guess. But no plans to change anything as of yet! Honestly, she never cried much at night even as a newborn, because we coslept and I was able to latch her on and both of us went back to sleep easily. I'm hoping for a repeat!

post #44 of 105

Ninetales and Cecilia's Mama - I'm with both of you. I have no plans to change anything unless it becomes an issue. If push comes to shove, I can always sleep downstairs in the guest room with the new baby and my son can sleep upstairs with my partner. I'm really not worried about it.

post #45 of 105

I just had a question for all you co-sleepers that are sleeping with 2 year olds and older, do you think if you gave them the choice they would sleep alone?  You have built this into their routine so why would they change it.  I would suggest getting your child into his/her own bed when they are mature enough to stay there and that way there is no jealousy.  My two are 19 months apart and are currently 4 and 2 and they sleep in bunk beds.  Reclaim your beds!

post #46 of 105

my mountain - I give my son the choice all the time. I think if it bothers the parent to have more kids in the bed, then it should be addressed. If the parent has no problem with a 2+ year-old and/or an infant in the bed, then there's no problem in my opinion. I guess I don't feel an urgency to get my son into his own bed. We all sleep fine at night and have no complaints. 

post #47 of 105
Thread Starter 

I have no problem with my bed being taken up by family. I don't feel the need to "reclaim."

 

As for naturally choosing to move to their own bed when they're ready, it does happen! I have seen it quite a few times myself. The age might be different for different kids, but it does happen. That's my goal.

post #48 of 105

I just don't get it.  Do your babies not cry when they're hungry at night, don't you think this will wake your other child?  Seems like it becomes more for you than for them.  I completely understand co-sleeping when they are small up to maybe 2 years but really when it is so built into their routine how could it change?  You just need to make a new routine for them.  There was a comment made about sleeping in a guest room to accomodate 2 kids...

post #49 of 105
Thread Starter 

Just remember that we all have different parenting styles, and that's a good thing since we all have different kids too!

 

As I mentioned above, my daughter actually didn't cry at night. And, as I also mentioned, I have seen many kids between 3-6 who chose on their own to go sleep in another room. I understand that this may not have been your experience, but that also doesn't mean your experience is what everyone else has too.

post #50 of 105

truedat.gif

post #51 of 105

I swing between being really nervous about having 2 to just figuring I'll figure it out when we get there.  DD will turn 4 in March so she'll be nearly 4.5 when this baby is born.

 

I do find myself randomly realizing that my "alone time" with DD is coming to an end.  Like she'll be on my lap cuddling with me and I'll realize that soon I won't have much lap left and then she'll be sharing my lap with the baby.  I'm trying to treasure this time with her and really remind her how special and loved she is.  Hopefully that might ward off some sibling rivalry issues.  Right now she's super excited and telling everyone, from the checker at the grocery store to random people she sees in public, that she's going to have a baby brother (she's determined it's a boy).

Quote:
Originally Posted by my mountain View Post

I just don't get it.  Do your babies not cry when they're hungry at night, don't you think this will wake your other child?  Seems like it becomes more for you than for them.  I completely understand co-sleeping when they are small up to maybe 2 years but really when it is so built into their routine how could it change?  You just need to make a new routine for them.  There was a comment made about sleeping in a guest room to accomodate 2 kids...



Not really.  Since we co-slept from the get go, she was usually latched on before crying happened. I've heard breastfeeding experts say that crying is the last hunger cue.  Being so close and in tune with an infant allows the co-sleeping mama to pick up on early hunger cues (restlessness, rooting etc) and respond before the baby fully wakes and cries out.  I was amazed at how in tune  with each other DD and I were.  Once I learned how to nurse lying down on my side I didn't truly even wake up when she nursed.  I don't know when she started sleeping through the night because I didn't notice since I barely noticed when she woke to nurse.

 

I know co-sleeping doesn't work for everyone, but I truly don't mind sharing our bed with DD, neither does DH.  That said, we are working on changing her routine and encouraging her to sleep in her big girl bed.  There's just not room for 4 in our bed.  I wish there was room in our room to add a toddler bed for her, but the floor space just doesn't exist.

post #52 of 105

 

Quote:
I know co-sleeping doesn't work for everyone, but I truly don't mind sharing our bed with DD, neither does DH.  That said, we are working on changing her routine and encouraging her to sleep in her big girl bed.  There's just not room for 4 in our bed.  I wish there was room in our room to add a toddler bed for her, but the floor space just doesn't exist.

 

 

yeap this is us as well but it will be 5 instead of 4. . . Im not sure how we will make it work but we will..  Im sort of in denial about it until we get home from this contract at the end of the month, they we might be ripping down some walls :)

post #53 of 105

I don't want to move her.  We do family bed because that is how we want it.  Someday she'll figure out that she can sleep elsewhere and if it's clear that's what she would prefer, or what she needs, or it will work better overall, we will deal with it then.  I don't need to "reclaim" the bed because it isn't mine - it's ours.

 

My first never really did cry much at night.  My husband gets up for work at 3:30 am and we decided it would be much easier on everyone to have the baby right nearby to tend to her right away so he wouldn't wake up.  The same still applies - she stirs several times a night still, and if she were in a different room it would take me longer to wake up, go to her, settle her, and come back, and it would be much more disturbing to J.  And if I had to leave the newborn to tend to Elsa in a different room, the baby could get upset and I can't be in two places at once.  I would rather sleep all together and take care of everyone's needs.  That's what works for me.

post #54 of 105

Can I ask a probably really stupid question about co-sleeping?  We plan on doing an Arm's Reach or something for the first year, but then the baby will transition to another room.  I was just curious how those who have older babies and toddlers sleeping with them handle intimacy with their partners.  I know that's probably the most obvious question people ask and there's probably a really obvious answer, but I'm just curious.  We're still trying to think a lot of this through since this will be our first.

post #55 of 105
Thread Starter 

We just get creative! Baby #2 was not conceived on a bed here. lol.gif

 

PS, I have heard that many babies outgrow the Arm's Reach in size relatively early (although I think there are two sizes), so you might want to consider just sidecarring a crib if you want that space. Totally your call, just thought I'd share that! I had a few friends who ended up doing the crib because by a few months old their baby had outgrown the AR but they weren't ready for him/her to move to a different room.

post #56 of 105

LilyTiger - There are many things that you can do when a baby is sleeping. ;-) Also, we have many couches and a spare bed. If you have a sidecarred crib, you can think of your babe as being in a separate "bed."

post #57 of 105

 

Quote:
We just get creative! Baby #2 was not conceived on a bed here. lol.gif

 

 

yeah same here.

 

our toddler still sleeps in our bed so we DTD about everywhere but the bed :) :)

 

Initially we chose to cosleep because I was BFing and at some point I didn't want to have to get out of bed, I found I got a lot more sleep when we co-slept but DS was also a big time BFing- there were nights he would BF every 1-2 hours the entire night.. at some point once I mastered BFing I could literally BF in my sleep which meant a lot more sleeping for me then if he was in a crib or another room..

 

Now that he is almost 2.5 he sometimes sleeps on the futon floor coach thing we have (we live in a studio apartment) but usually joins us in bed sometimes in the morning around 4 or 5am..

post #58 of 105
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ithappened View Post

at some point once I mastered BFing I could literally BF in my sleep which meant a lot more sleeping for me then if he was in a crib or another room..

 

Yup, I always tell people that I slept way better after the baby came than I did while pregnant, and most people don't believe me. But learning how to breastfeed side-lying meant that I basically didn't wake up at all-- I woke up enough to get her latched on, and as she got bigger, she started doing that herself. We all slept well from the start!

post #59 of 105

 

Quote:
I slept way better after the baby came than I did while pregnant, and most people don't believe me.

yeap for the most part, esp from week 34-42 of my pregnancy I slept WAY better after birth then before..

post #60 of 105

LilyTiger-Like the above replies we usually just go to the other room to DTD. DD will usually sleep about 1 1/2 hours when we first get her asleep so that leaves us plenty of time. After that, she wakes at least every hour all night long, sometimes it's every 20 minutes. I'm really hoping she grows out of this before the newborn is here. I can't get any sleep now! What in the world am I going to do nursing TWO all night? I'm so exhausted as it is.

 

The other thing I worry about is meal times. I'm probably the weirdo on this one, but feeding DD is such a struggle! I know it is developmentally appropriate/age appropriate, but it drives me nuts that she makes a mess and can't get the food from the spoon/fork to her mouth. It's all down the front of her shirt and in her chair. I just don't have the patience for it! DH is so much better at feeding her. What am I going to do when DD needs help eating while the baby wants to nurse? I nursed DD at the table at meal times all the time.

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