2nd Child Pregnancies - Page 5 « Back to Group Discussions

[rebecca10]

I think my husband and I decided last night to try to move my two-year old daughter into her own room before the baby comes. My husband feels strongly about it--I'm much more conflicted, but I'm open to giving it a go, with the understanding that if it really doesn't seem to be working we will revisit. It really is probably what is best for our family, since the reality is she's not sleeping great in our bed, and either are we, even without adding a new baby to the mix.   But we still haven't decided how to go about it. I know it will involve my husband sleeping in her room for a while (as long as necessary) as we try to get her adjusted to the change (she doesn't nurse at night so at least that won't be part of the adjustment).  But what we need to decide first and foremost is whether we keep her in the crib--which is where she naps and starts off the night now, or buy her a "big girl's bed."  I really like the idea of one of us being able to lie with her in a bed, but the crib has the benefit of already being familar, and I could see it being really difficult to get her to stay in a bed.  Ahh, I don't know.  Maybe we should just get a twin mattress and then let her decide? 

[Ninetales]

Originally Posted by 1stTimeMama4-4-10 

It feels good to have a plan, even if the plan is that we will figure it out when we get there!!!

Hahahaha!  I like that.  I overplanned with my first, and I think I created a lot of disappointment for myself by doing so.  Since she was born it seems like her mission is to subvert all my plans.  So I want to go with the flow a bit more this time.

[lari]

Rebecca10-  I would highly recommend staying with the crib if you don't think she will climb out.  Moving to a big boy bed was a BIG deal for my son and not easy.  He was already sleeping in his own room when we did that and moving him to the big boy bed resulted in him comming into our room and climbing into bed with us every night for a long time.  We were so tired we didn't make it an issue, but we've been really good about taking him back to his room every time now since we know baby will be rooming with us in 6 months and I don't want him feeling like he was kicked out for baby.  I want it to be the norm that he sleeps in his room now.  Especially if she's comfortable in the crib I would sitck with it.  i would have kept K in his crib for as long as possible but he started climbing out just before he turned 2.

[rebecca10]

Thanks Lari! Yeah, I know that the transition to the bed she can get out could definitely cause issues of their own, and I'll definitely keep your story in mind. No worries about climbing out of the crib here--my daughter has many strengths, but adventurous climbing is definitely not one of them.  What I'm not so sure of is that last part--her being comfortable in her crib.  I mean, she's used to it for short periods of time, but she's never really been able to sleep in it for more than about an hour or two without waking up, so all night in one will be a huge adjustment too.

[Maximeee]

Originally Posted by Montessortof 

I guess I will have a bigger age gap than most of you. My son will be turning 4 right around when the new baby comes. I'm kind of worried about the big age gap because I wanted my kids to be close in age so they can play together as they grow up. Unfortunately, I had a lot of trouble getting pregnant the second time, so that didn't happen.

I think the larger age gap will make my life easier in the beginning, at least. DS will understand what is going on and be able to talk about his feelings, so I won't have to guess about jealousy and all that. He's a great sleeper, never wakes up in the night, and is totally fine in his own room. He's even able to entertain himself for a pretty good stretch of time. So I guess I'm mostly worried about how he will interact with the new baby, not about how I'll deal with parenting them both at the same time.

Is anyone else dealing with a due date close to your older child's birthday? I'm already worried about what I should do for DS's birthday party. What if I go into labor and have to cancel the party? Or if I have a tiny baby that can't be exposed to a bunch of grubby preschoolers' germs? DS has been to a bunch of his friends' parties lately, and he is already talking about what he wants to do when he turns four.

I'm due the day before my DD's 4th birthday.. So if you look at my siggy, you'll see that is my anniversary LOL! My DH insists on a bday party for DD so I told him end of August at our house and he can take care of it all. I'll wear the baby and that'll be it :). We do big parties w/ family & friends so it'll be interesting to say the least.

[Knitting Mama]

Preparing for our new reality come summer! I'm glad we've gone with Radians, though, because it's nice to have them side by side and know that there's still a usable seat in the back-- when Cece was a baby she hated the car and was only (sometimes) comforted by me being in the back with her, so I want there to be a place to sit in case this baby is the same way.

[1stTimeMama4-4-10]

@ Aimee, so glad to see that Cece is still rear facing!!! 

[Knitting Mama]

Are you kidding me? She's so tiny, she's going to be rear-facing until she's like 10! 

No, I am a huuuuuuuge activist about extended rear facing. The facts are just so simple. It just saves so many lives.

[Ninetales]

I'm a CPST, so I have to high five you too!  :)

Elsa is coming up on 40 lbs fast, which is the RF limit on her seat.  I'm hoping she'll make it to 2.5, when the baby comes.  I'd hate to turn her so soon, so hopefully she's stop gaining weight!

[sallyrae17]

Aimee - Ha! I'm gonna have a kid rear-facing until he's 10 as well. He's 33 months and maybe 25 pounds. He has a long way to go before he hits 40 pounds!

[Knitting Mama]

Yeah, Cece is maybe 20 lbs at 23 months. Maybe.

[ilovetchotchkes]

My Ginger Shrimp is gonna be extended rear facing too. My sister at one point, turned his seat around and I almost had an apoplexy. - They were out shopping with my mom and dad and she was all "you should forward face him! He likes it!" and I was just all "WER(*#$IH@#%)(S*G)(*)(*$)(#*%))#*W)W*$)(*!!!!!!!!! NOOOOO!" 

His seat goes up another 10 lbs or so to 35. I can't afford the Britax that goes to 40. But at the rate he's going, he'll probably be about 4  before I switch him. Maybe not. :P

Cecilia's mama- I have a friend who technically according to the new standards, should still be riding in a booster seat. She's 24. She's all of 4'9 and 90 lbs. She's TEENY.  

[1stTimeMama4-4-10]

Originally Posted by Cecilia's Mama 

Are you kidding me? She's so tiny, she's going to be rear-facing until she's like 10! 

No, I am a huuuuuuuge activist about extended rear facing. The facts are just so simple. It just saves so many lives.

Totally agree with you and DD will be RF as long as she possibly can, but I've already been taking some heat for it from idiot inlaws and friends who think she should be turned at 1 year old.  Ough. 

[rebecca10]

I can relate.  My mother is generally completely neurotic about my daughter's health and safety (everything needs to be 100% organic, would never even think of heating something up in the microwave, etc), yet she keeps asking me when I'm going to turn my tiny two-year old daughter  around. I just don't get it.  Legs lightly bent (which for the record doesn't seem to bother my daughter) v. dramatically reduced risk of death in a car crash.  Hmm, I'll be sticking rear facing as long as possible too. 
 

Originally Posted by 1stTimeMama4-4-10 

Totally agree with you and DD will be RF as long as she possibly can, but I've already been taking some heat for it from idiot inlaws and friends who think she should be turned at 1 year old.  Ough. 

[eh bien]

We just had a visit with the doctor, supposed to be 18 month WBV but DS just turned 20 months by the time we made it there. Anyhow, before we saw the doctor, the nurse had a huge line of questions for us and also lots of parenting advice (weird). When she brought up the car seat issue, I mentioned that I know that regulations state that DS can be forward facing now but that I've kept him rear facing in my car because I think it is safer. She said there are lots of accidents where children have their hips damaged and legs broken and ffing at this point is safer because their necks are stronger and can handle an accident better than legs being crushed...

That argument doesn't really make much sense to me... wouldn't neck muscles be weaker than leg muscles? I'd rather a broken leg than a broken neck.

Can somebody shed light on this issue? DS does have to bend his legs slightly but it seems he'd do this even if there was space to stretch them out all the way. And when he does stretch his legs out, it's not for a lengthy amount of time.

DS is ffing in DP's car because the seat he has and the angle of the car seat is such that rfing doesnn't work. I was going to switch our carseats so that he would be rfing in both cars.

Any advice?

[sallyrae17]

My son will be three in May and he's still rear facing. The weight limit on my carseat is 40 pounds and he's 25 pounds, so he'll be rearfacing for a while. I wouldn't listen to the nurse about it being safer forward facing. I actually had to take a carseat safety course where they showed videos of dummies forward facing (older than an infant) and the whiplash was absolutely horrible. There's no way anyone can convince me that forward facing is better or safer! I don't understand the pressure at all...especially since the carseat safety rules were recently changed to have babies rearfacing until 2 years old. 

[Knitting Mama]

Originally Posted by eh bien 

We just had a visit with the doctor, supposed to be 18 month WBV but DS just turned 20 months by the time we made it there. Anyhow, before we saw the doctor, the nurse had a huge line of questions for us and also lots of parenting advice (weird). When she brought up the car seat issue, I mentioned that I know that regulations state that DS can be forward facing now but that I've kept him rear facing in my car because I think it is safer. She said there are lots of accidents where children have their hips damaged and legs broken and ffing at this point is safer because their necks are stronger and can handle an accident better than legs being crushed...

That argument doesn't really make much sense to me... wouldn't neck muscles be weaker than leg muscles? I'd rather a broken leg than a broken neck.

Can somebody shed light on this issue? DS does have to bend his legs slightly but it seems he'd do this even if there was space to stretch them out all the way. And when he does stretch his legs out, it's not for a lengthy amount of time.

DS is ffing in DP's car because the seat he has and the angle of the car seat is such that rfing doesnn't work. I was going to switch our carseats so that he would be rfing in both cars.

Any advice?

It's my understanding that there has never been a recorded case of a broken leg from a rear-facing child getting into an accident. And even if there had been, like you, I would vastly prefer a broken leg over a broken neck. To me, that's a pretty ridiculous argument, Their necks are NOT stronger and can NOT handle an accident better.

[Ninetales]

Not from being RF, at least. In a bad accident kids' legs and hips are probably injured, sure, but in that same accident FF the damage is to the neck, head, and spine as well as the extremities. Kids break their legs while FF all the time.

Nurses and doctors are not educated or trained in car seat safety. Their opinion should hold no more weight than any other layman.

"Broken leg - cast it. Broken neck - casket."

[FeralFox]

I wish I could still have my little guy RF, but he's hitting 35 pounds now, and he's 4 years old.  He's in a Boulevard, so no RF for him.  He got turned when he was about 2 1/2 because he was fussing about it, and I still regret that I did.  At least nothing bad happened.  And sadly, if this baby takes after daddy, we'll be turning at 2ish again.

[Ninetales]

I was watching Elsa sleep all cuddled up with me last night and I started to feel bad about what's going to happen to her when the baby comes.  She just has no clue that her whole life is about to get turned upside down and there's no way I can explain it to her or make it easier for her.  She will have spent 2.5 years being our only baby and getting all our love and attention, and it's so hard for me to wrap my head around how she'll feel when that changes in August.  :(