new here

[noun]

Hi, I'm new here so I thought I would introduce myself. I'm 26yrs old and live in Australia. I have a DS who is four and has significant medical needs -mostly airway related with suspected ASD / sensory processing disorder and visual impairment. I have recently had DP and his child move in who is six and has aspbergers + ADHD and a bowel issue which leads to 'accidents' almost daily. We are doing our best to make things work , previously we separated due to the high stress of having two kids with extra needs (at the time mine had a tracheotomy) but we really want it to work as we love each other. DP also has aspbergers himself and is a full time student. We have both children pretty much full time, with my child seeing his BD sporadically and DP's child going to the mother every second weekend. It is hard work I think more so on my part as DP and my child seem to have an incredible bond , which i sometimes wonder why i don't have this bond with his child but have learnt to go a little easier on myself as this was a main factor in our previous separation the fact that I wasn't bonded with his child (my call) what I have been reading is most step parents feel like this and don't have a 'bond' as such with their step children. I think the reason my DP and Bio child are so bonded is because they met when DS was only 2. DP's child is i suppose not my biggest fan, and i don't expect him to be after having his dad to himself all these years but it doesn't make it easy things like him not saying goodnight to me hurt when I do things for him like make his lunches, or help him do a craft project, remind DP to do simple parenting duties (as previously mentioned DP has aspbergers himself and has always had the support of his parents with the child) so i guess i sometimes feel like i have three children all of a sudden. for example DP doesn't just look around the house and notice something is messy I have to write it on a whiteboard so that he reads it and knows it needs to be done. :/ Which makes me feel like his mother but as it leads to a more peaceful house hold I do it. Anyway thats a bit of a run down of our situation, any handy hints and tips you guys could give me on making things work would be appreciated :) Look fwd to chatting with u all

[MsDolphin]

Welcome! Sounds like you have alot of your plate. Hope you find good information in this forum.