getting a co-sleeping baby to decrease night nursing

[darbycrash]

My baby is 7 mo. He wakes 4 or 5 times during the night to nurse. His longest stretch of sleep is when he first goes down about 7pm til 12 or 1 am. I take him from the co sleeper into the bed and leave him with me for the night (If I put him back he wakes).  I'm tired and my back aches from side sleeping (my least favorite position). Obviously a bigger bed would help but if he only woke up twice I could live with that for a while. Any advice would be appreciated.

[TiredX2]

Personally, I consider that a bit too young for night-weaning, but it sounds like you're more interested in just getting a bit more sleep yourself?  Totally understandable desire, lol.

The good news is that he is already going 5-6 hours a night!  That is considered sleeping through the night. What time are you going to bed?  One idea would be to wake him up when you go to bed and nurse him (really fill him up) right then.  That way, if he then sleeps for 5-6 hours at least you get the 5-6 hours.

Another issue for bfed babies is that they smell you and wake up.  Do you sleep with another adult?  Some people are very successful with putting the baby on the other side of their partner which lets them not get roused by the smell as much.  If they just want to cuddle, it's often not worth it to the baby to search you out (for some kids, lol).

This may get him to wake less, it might just let you get some more steady sleep, but hopefully it will help!  I'm sure other people will have some good ideas, too.

[francabu]

I wish I could give you some other tips but unfortunately, my 14 month old still wakes up at night and nurses several times during the night. Like yours, she usually sleeps until 12 or 1am. So what I've done in order to get some decent sleep is go to sleep with her or as close to her time as I can manage. This is hard, I KNOW, because there's much to do or you want some well-needed personal time or with your hubby. I am a single mom so at least I don't have the pressure of having to explain myself to someone else. But honestly, that's what's worked for me. If my baby goes to sleep at 8:15pm, then I'm usually in bed by 9:30pm. That way i get at least 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Then when she wakes up, I bring her to my bed and we co-sleep for the rest of the night and she breastfeeds on and off till she wakes up around 7AM. Sometimes I can sleep through the breastfeeding in bed but sometimes I can't. But if I got some hours of sleep alone in the bed, at least I'm not so tired the next day. Good luck!

[darbycrash]

Thank you both for the tips and sharing your stories. I was trying to think of a creative way around his sleep habits but I think the only solution is a bigger bed. We've only had the queen size for five years so I'm loathe to get rid of it and get into debt but I think I just need to bite the bullet. Maybe we can sell the old bed on craig's list.  Baby usually falls alseep about 7pm so unless I'm really tired I try to wait until 8 or 9 if I'm feeling VERY grown up.  My husband and I only fit on the queen bed with him sleeping on his side (which he did for 10 years) but now that we have monkey in the middle so to speak we're both squinched up.  He recently got over a cold so I think that coupled with a possible growth spurt (7.5 mos? Is that a growth spurt time?) has increased his night waking.

All three of us laid down on a king size bed in the store today and I looked at baby and papa and was like "ahhhh" I was ready to sleep in the store! I guess that settles it.

[TiredX2]

Originally Posted by darbycrash 

Thank you both for the tips and sharing your stories. I was trying to think of a creative way around his sleep habits but I think the only solution is a bigger bed. We've only had the queen size for five years so I'm loathe to get rid of it and get into debt but I think I just need to bite the bullet. Maybe we can sell the old bed on craig's list.  Baby usually falls alseep about 7pm so unless I'm really tired I try to wait until 8 or 9 if I'm feeling VERY grown up.  My husband and I only fit on the queen bed with him sleeping on his side (which he did for 10 years) but now that we have monkey in the middle so to speak we're both squinched up.  He recently got over a cold so I think that coupled with a possible growth spurt (7.5 mos? Is that a growth spurt time?) has increased his night waking.

All three of us laid down on a king size bed in the store today and I looked at baby and papa and was like "ahhhh" I was ready to sleep in the store! I guess that settles it.

We moved to a King bed when DD was 20 months and it was bliss!

That said--- if you have the inclination and space, another option is to buy a twin and snug it up to the Queen (either on the floor, or if you have the same size frames, like a side car).  That way you are only buying something you would probably want in the next couple years anyway (a twin bed for DS).

[NewBeginnings1]

IME, DS1 was a partial co-sleeper after his 11 or 1 waking. He woke up at 11, 1 and 4 for the longest time. He now sleeps on his own because he sleeps better, but we still enjoy an naps together. At 16.5 months, he is just now waking up @ 5 am and then going back down. Having looked back, I am glad that I stuck with the night feedings. He always was "drinking" and never comfort nursing, so I new that he needed the milk. 

[Redmom]

How about you sleeping on a mattress in your room.  That way, if your little one is waking up and smelling you/your milk, he may not smell you being a little further away.

[Redmom]

Originally Posted by NewBeginnings1 

IME, DS1 was a partial co-sleeper after his 11 or 1 waking. He woke up at 11, 1 and 4 for the longest time. He now sleeps on his own because he sleeps better, but we still enjoy an naps together. At 16.5 months, he is just now waking up @ 5 am and then going back down. Having looked back, I am glad that I stuck with the night feedings. He always was "drinking" and never comfort nursing, so I new that he needed the milk. 

I don't mean to sidetrack this thread, NewBeginnings1 I wonder if you can give me some advice/encouragement.

Our DS is 13 months and wakes every couple of hours.  For the first half of the night my DH rocks him back to sleep, then for the latter half of the night I co-sleep with DS and nurse him when he wakes. 

Did your DS stop night nursing on his own or did you need to do something to change this?  What do you think caused him to wake less frequently?  At what age did he wake less frequently?  Did you do anything to reduce the wake ups or did he do this on his own accord?

[NewBeginnings1]

Originally Posted by NewBeginnings1 

IME, DS1 was a partial co-sleeper after his 11 or 1 waking. He woke up at 11, 1 and 4 for the longest time. He now sleeps on his own because he sleeps better, but we still enjoy an naps together. At 16.5 months, he is just now waking up @ 5 am and then going back down. Having looked back, I am glad that I stuck with the night feedings. He always was "drinking" and never comfort nursing, so I new that he needed the milk. 

Originally Posted by Redmom 

I don't mean to sidetrack this thread, NewBeginnings1 I wonder if you can give me some advice/encouragement.

Our DS is 13 months and wakes every couple of hours.  For the first half of the night my DH rocks him back to sleep, then for the latter half of the night I co-sleep with DS and nurse him when he wakes. 

Did your DS stop night nursing on his own or did you need to do something to change this?  What do you think caused him to wake less frequently?  At what age did he wake less frequently?  Did you do anything to reduce the wake ups or did he do this on his own accord?

I'll post here because maybe it will help someone else.

Think about your ultimate goal is in regards to co-sleeping. For us, it was temporary. As much as I cherished co-sleeping, for he and I, separate beds have produced much better sleep. So at 11 months, when he started waking more and nursing ALL NIGHT LONG when we co-slept, I made the choice to sit/get up and nurse him and put him back in his crib (which sucked because I lost sleep!). But by doing this his wakings became regular and I could see that he had normal patterns of healthy sleep, about a 3-4 hour cycle. Then, around 13 months, he started only waking up twice a night. But as soon as I claimed victory, we'd be back up to three 3. It has fluctuated back and forth with bouts of teething and sickness. I always nursed when he woke up because he specifically signed/asked for it. Sleeping till 5AM is new (see note 6) to me, and I am hoping that it lasts!

Tidbits:

1. He now sleeps in his own room, with a monitor, blackout shades and white noise.  

2. Offer your comfort first (by rocking/bouncing) on your shoulder (in a non-nursing position) and then if that doesn't work, feed him because he is hungry. That way you know for sure that he is hungry.

3. I also noticed that he slept better when he had a bigger dinner.

4. I have a theory that nursing a lot at night can contribute to babies waking up when they pee. More nursings might equal more wakings until their bladder gets larger.

5. (MDC tip) If you haven't already, work towards putting him to bed sleepy, but awake. This is the BEST thing I ever started doing when my son outgrew the ability to be transferred after being rocked/nursed to sleep. This meant that he needed to be put down very sleepy, and then he had to choose to go to sleep. As your son is ending his eating session, break the suction after he has breathed three times without sucking. If he does not attempt to relatch, move him to the crib. If he does, give him a little more time and try again.  From this my son started popping off the breast on his own, but he was still awake. Then I started keeping the lights on while he fed. Next we added in reading a book before I put him in the crib.

6. DS1 is allergic to many foods his main triggers are Milk, Eggs, Soy, Peas, Nuts and Tree Nuts. He vomits to the first 4. I have found that when I exclude these things from my diet, he does not wake up until 5 am. This is a recent development. I had been advised by our allergist not to change my diet. I did on a whim, and now I am intrigued by the results. 

I don't have the STTN answers, but I do know that if your baby is getting a full feeding when you nurse him at night, that he still needs you. Hang in there. I wish my son would let my hubby soothe him! Feel free to PM me with any more questions. 

Best wishes.