Morning tantrums

[melly7204]

I need help. Lately, when I drop my son off at daycare, he is throwing a fit! He's only two and I understand this is common but maybe others can share their tips? I live very close to my daycare (1/2 block.) When we are leaving the house, generally I try to make sure there is nothing in his hands (because he gets mad when I pick him up to put him in the car seat and ends up throwing whatever object at the car next to us!) I don't want to offer candy or gum to calm him down. The last two mornings I've had to almost carry him in sideways due to kicking feet and arms. This morning, I offer to have him carry his sister's lunch box in to calm him down (I know, bad idea but I was desperate!) but just as suspected he got upset when I had to give it back to her. Then as I try to leave his daycare room he runs to the door and doesn't want me to leave. The daycare staff picks him up and lets me leave but I see him pulling their hair or hitting their face and hear him screaming as I walk all the way down the hallway. I know the number one tip everyone will give me is, just stay calm. But I need more than that. Tips please!

[melly7204]

I'd also like to add that I've been given the advice to just leave him when he is having a tantrum like that but it doesn't feel natural to me. I mean, I know I'm not suppose to linger when my child is fine for me to leave but just up and walking out when he is throwing a fit doens't seem right either.

[melly7204]

I'd also like to add that I've been given the advice to just leave him when he is having a tantrum like that but it doesn't feel natural to me. I mean, I know I'm not suppose to linger when my child is fine for me to leave but just up and walking out when he is throwing a fit doens't seem right either.

[porcelina]

Has he been at that day care for a short time? Or have there been any changes to the day care? Just wondering if maybe he is having a legitimate reaction to something going on there...

[melly7204]

No, he's been there for a while. The staff are all familiar with him. I do not see any new faces. The only thing I can think of is Christmas. We all get a little unorganized and our routines tend to slip during Christmas time. I've heard children can sense our anxiety and I'm alway a little off during Christmas time but who isn't? I'm going to try an experiment tomorrow morning. I'm going to allot enough time for a tantrum. I'm going to make sure that he has nothing in his hands. I'm going to make sure his sister has nothing in her hands to "temp" him and I'm going to walk in to daycare holding him and talk to him gently and make sure he is okay before we leave.

[ChitownTracy]

i worked in child care for 4 years.  at our center, the kids "pushed" their parents out the classroom door.  It really made for some pretty funny drop offs.  Not sure if he would be distracted enough by this...

what happens if you walk all the way into the room & sit/play with him for a couple of minutes?  Will he begin to engage the other kids?

What if he had a special "job" -or something special to share with his teacher.  (when we get in the room, don't forgot to show Miss-__ your new sticker/stamp on your hand)

my kids played me like a fiddle at 2 years old.  During their drop offs- they would scream & cry- I would have to physically hand them to a teacher in order to leave....& i was just down the hallway in my own classroom...Did they do this for their dad- NOPE!  Never one tear!  (only through their 2 year old year)

I agree with the teachers, the quicker you leave the better (like a band aid) In the four years, I have only seen a small handful of kids able to have their parents stay (to help calm ) & remain calm when parent leaves (not sure if i'm explaining it well)
We had a family- the dad would drop off, he would stay in the room for over an hour each day, b/c every time he went to leave his little girl ..she would cry louder and louder...Finally one day, when she moved into the 2's room, we suggested he set a boundary- tell her- one more hug (really mean only ONE more hug- that boundary tells kids- what i say, i mean- so when i say i'm coming back,  you know you can trust me) & leave....within days, her drop offs became AWESOME!!!

And then there are other children, I had a 2 year old in my room- who cried for 6 months at EVERY drop off...He was very happy the rest of the day, just drop off....I also had kids that would cry upon seeing their parents at pick up! you just can't win :)

[ChitownTracy]

Originally Posted by melly7204 

I need help. Lately, when I drop my son off at daycare, he is throwing a fit! He's only two and I understand this is common but maybe others can share their tips? I live very close to my daycare (1/2 block.) When we are leaving the house, generally I try to make sure there is nothing in his hands (because he gets mad when I pick him up to put him in the car seat and ends up throwing whatever object at the car next to us!) I don't want to offer candy or gum to calm him down. The last two mornings I've had to almost carry him in sideways due to kicking feet and arms. This morning, I offer to have him carry his sister's lunch box in to calm him down (I know, bad idea but I was desperate!) but just as suspected he got upset when I had to give it back to her. Then as I try to leave his daycare room he runs to the door and doesn't want me to leave. The daycare staff picks him up and lets me leave but I see him pulling their hair or hitting their face and hear him screaming as I walk all the way down the hallway. I know the number one tip everyone will give me is, just stay calm. But I need more than that. Tips please!

i was just re-reading this...I really liked your idea of having him help sister out...To get over this hump, allow him to bring it into the room- AND ask the teacher to send it sister's classroom, when he is not looking...I would have preferred to support a family by doing this....& maybe this allows mom out of the room without as many tears...just a thought