In need of nighttime help/advice

[srobb0122]

Hi!  I'm new to this site, but I am in some need of some help.  My son, who is about 9.5m, eating all solids, has 4 teeth, and 2 that are still coming through the gums, has not slept more than 3 hours at a time since he was about 4 months old.  When he turned 5 months, he went through the stage of waking up an hour after I put him down in his crib.  He had never done this before.  We also moved into my parents' house at that time, but have lived there since (plenty of time to adjust).  The day after his 6M check-up, his first tooth came in, so I thought it was just teething for a month.  Recently he has slept "through the night" twice, but not in a row.  For the holidays we had visited family, he had stayed up late, ran errands that cut into nap times, etc...So things were hectic!

My DS falls asleep in his crib, while I am in the room, by 8pm usually, and I typically do not have to walk him.  He'll then wake up a few hours later, so I go in and walk him until he's asleep and try to put him back in his crib.  Lately this has worked.  However, once I am ready to go to bed, I am so tired, once he wakes again, I'll bring him in the bed with me and we co-sleep.  He will still wake every couple of hours, even after sleeping in the bed with me.  I do not know what to do about this!  I can sometimes calm him down while being in the bed, but other times, I have to get up and walk/bounce/rock him back to sleep.  This can take as long as an hour and half!  Some nights we even spend time sleeping in the recliner together, which is not comfortable for me.  I am a stay at home mom, so I with my DS all day long, and I do whatever it takes for ME to get sleep because I need to be able to take care of him.

Here's a general schedule:

Wake up:  ~7am

Nap: ~10:30-12

Nap: ~3:30-5

Bed time ~ 8-8:30

That's very loosely written depending on what we do during the day.  If DS goes to bed after 8, he won't wake up until 7:30.  If he goes to bed at 9 or later he won't wake up until 8am.  I was thinking if he isn't tired when I put him down at night, or if he was TOO tired... I just don't know any more! :) 

Even worse, my husband wants me to get my DS to sleep all night in his crib so he can come back to the bed (my husband is a large guy, and we only have a full sized bed at my parents, when he comes home on the weekends, so he's afraid he will squish our DS at night).

Any and all suggestions and advice are welcome! 

[Redmom]

Aw I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this.

I don't have any advice, except to say that our DS is 13 months and he wakes every 1-2 hours.

For us what helps get sleep for everyone is that my DH and I take turns putting DS back to sleep. DH will co sleep with DS until about 2am, and up until that time will rock him back to sleep.  During this time I sleep on my own on the couch.  Then after 2am or so, DH and I will swap, and when DS wakes I nurse him back to sleep.

But from reading your post it sounds like your DH is away during the week?  Could DH help you out on the weekends?

I'm guessing that you already nap during the day when DS naps?

Sorry I don't know what else to say, I know how draining it is.

[srobb0122]

Thank you for the reply.  I am actually not that tired during the day because I do get enough sleep, it's just not consistent sleep. I would love for my husband to help (my mom has even offered to help at night when she doesn't have to work the next day), but unfortunately my son will only let me put him to sleep at night.  If he wakes up at night, before we have all gone to bed, sometimes my mom would go in there and try to calm him down if I am fixing bottles or in the shower, and he will cry more, and eventually completely wake up, so she has to walk with him in the kitchen with the lights off just to get him to calm down until I can take him.  My DS hasn't really cared much for my DH since he was a newborn.  He would cry all the time when my DH would hold him so putting him to sleep is out of the question! :)  We all tried co-sleeping in our full sized bed this weekend, and while I was fine, my husband had to revert back to the couch in the middle of the night. 

Our ped said our son does not need any night time feedings...we stopped those around 3-4 months because he is big enough to not eat at night.  I also use formula and I am against CIO (and it is not possible living with my parents who work and my younger sister who goes to school).  I want to think that he will just sleep through the night when he is ready, even if it is after he is 1.  I just wanted to see if anyone had any suggestions or advice for something like this.  He's been sleeping for about 3 hours at a time before he wakes up. 

My DS takes 3 bottles a day, no more than 7oz and then an 8oz at night.  He is also eating table food, no longer touching baby food. 

I would just like for my son to sleep 12ish hours straight, or know why he's not doing it now, when he has slept for long periods of time before.  My ped just suggests letting him CIO.   

[Choices4me]

Sounds like no consistency. Usually when our children/babies have a hard time sleeping or getting into routine it's because of parents. Doesn't mean it's a bad thing, it's just a learning thing.