Grandparents divorce - what do I say?

[Babydoll1285]

My mom and step dad just finished up their divorce proceedings and I'm at a loss as to what to tell my 3 and 4 year old.  They know their grandma and grandpa have been living separately for almost a year and they've been pretty accepting that their grandpa (who they have been very close to) isn't often around.  Now the divorce is finalized and I don't think we'll be seeing my step dad or his mom (another person my kids adore) again.  It breaks my heart because my kids love them but I can't make the effort for people who have chosen to not be in our lives.  Everyone keeps telling me not to say anything to the kids.  It just doesn't seem right...we're up front about bodies, birth, death....but I should just stick with avoiding the subject of divorce?  My best friend said it would scare them if I told them about the divorce and they might wonder if it would happen to their mom and dad.  Anyone BTDT?  Thoughts?

[pbjmama]

This is something that has been on my mind alot lately too. I'm not sure what I will say yet. I was thinking something like 'they decided not to be married anymore'. We might have alot of feelings and questions and that is okay - we can talk about them openly as we do every other topic. Is the question 'will you and dad get divorced' that much different than 'will you still love me when you have another baby?' they are both searching for reassurance and security.

Would love to hear others thoughts on this topic.

[hrsmom]

I think I would tell my daughter that sometimes people decide they don't want to be married anymore. We often talk about how different people do things different ways.