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January Pagan Families - Page 9

post #161 of 186

keep trying to post... posts keep vanishing thanks to this crummy old computer (seriously old, seriously twitchy)!

 

hugs to those who have lost companions, lost hope, lost self image, and lost patience.  (((((hugs)))))

 

luck of the new year to those beginning a new path... a new job, new image, new exercise routine, new relationship (with community/partner/child, animal, or vehicle!), or new health habit.  (((((hope and luck)))))

 

my job- I think I'll need to see how it goes.  I trained last week, this week I'm on my own.  It's fun and totally do-able in terms of what is expected.  The hours might kill me though!  Sat will be at 10am to 8:30pm shift with two 15 minute breaks.  The /only/ private place to pump is the bathroom (building is a converted warehouse) or in the car (but it's on street parking and it would be the regular car not the minivan soooo... not exactly private there either!).  I'm just not sure how to mesh pumping/nursing mom into that schedule!  At least, not without the mastitis killing me.  LOL  So I'm keeping an open mind and hoping.

 

 

post #162 of 186

No energy for personals today, but I've been reading back and am thinking of you all.  Things are good here, but busy, and there's a lot that's just floating up in the air.  My computer's power cord died, so I can only get online the day after we're up at my in-laws to charge it with their cord.  Hopefully we'll get a new one soon.

post #163 of 186
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LionessMom View Post

my van is finally fixed! now i can start moving things into it and going to my appts!



Good news!  Are you driving around with your head out the window shouting "Wheeeeee!"?

post #164 of 186


Mamas...I am having the absolute crummiest night on the planet. I can't believe I am doing this, but....I have pulled out the biggest gun: I am canceling ds's birthday mecry.gif I kid you not. He's just reached the limit with his behavior. I just can't do this any freaking more.

 

He lied to me about homework and got caught in it, and he called his teacher a liar today...bad enough in and of themselves, and if they were isolated incidents, I could maybe deal with it.

But he lies constantly, he's a master manipulator, he's beyond intelligent, and the worst part is he's a totally sweet kid. But his bad side wins.

 

He's Jekyll or Hyde, and there's no in-between. He's on 3 meds already and we're looking at a 4th one greensad.gif but I don't, really really don't, think meds are all the answer. I think that part of the time, yes, he needs them badly. He can't function without them. But I also think he's worked his way around using them as an excuse for bad behavior. And as a crutch. 

 

I just don't know what to do anymore. He is SO sassy. He does not recognize authority at all. He does not see getting sent out of class or getting sent to the principal's as a bad thing. He does not get it. And does not care. He disrupts the whole class so that the teachers cannot conduct the lessons, and there are 21 other kids in there!

And he blames...oh, my gods, how he blames. It's everybody's fault but his. Everybody is out to get him. He's such a victim.

The other side of the coin is he is SO disrespectful. His hill to die on is that he has to have the last word. He talks back. He does not freaking care. He talks over me, the teachers, anybody. He doesn't listen. He does what he wants and feels entitled to do so. Anywhere! In class, at home, at church, at my mom's...and he talks back to anybody.

 

I swear, if I acted like he did when I was a kid-- if anybody I know acted like him!-- I wouldn't be able to sit down for a week. For everything. And getting sent out of class? OMG. On top of being terrified (the principal! OMG!) I would be so ashamed, and so scared to tell my parents. They'd never let me live it down. My kid? Couldn't care less. His reaction? "So?"

 

I don't know what to do. He's really, really (understandably) upset. M has talked to him. I have talked to him. At first he kind of agreed, but now he's playing the victim again ("How can you do this to me? You hate me! My birthday! It's everything! Why can't you wait till after and THEN do this?"). Thing is, this is my leverage, this IS huge, yes. I have nothing to bargain with if I let him have it all and wait till after.

 

I'd waved the behavior reports in his face-- LOTS of them, and they none of them were very good at all-- and said when he gets a month of them, come talk to me about birthdays. I know he can behave when he wants to. Last week he had 4 days off, and those days and the bookend days were so good, I was like "Who are you and what have you done with my kid?". So I KNOW he can do it. I know he can. He thinks I expect perfect behavior in the next weeks-- I don't. I just want more good than not-good. Just for freaking once I want him to show me that he is capable, even if it takes monumental effort.

 

Oh, gawd, mamas. I HATE being a parent sometimes. I freaking hate it. I'm so low right now.

 

 

post #165 of 186

(((Maia))) 

 

 

I was sure I had posted earlier...

 

Not a lot of time to follow the thread but I'm thinking about everyone in this circle often. Sending Love and Good vibes!

post #166 of 186

Maia--*bighugs* I hope for everyone's sake your DS pulls it together and comes through.

post #167 of 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali View Post



Good news!  Are you driving around with your head out the window shouting "Wheeeeee!"?



no bc it is cold here. lol. but i have this huge grin on my face and keep saying how much i love it all the time. :) and blasting the stereo and loving the freedom of not having to wait for DH to get home from work. 


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post


Mamas...I am having the absolute crummiest night on the planet. I can't believe I am doing this, but....I have pulled out the biggest gun: I am canceling ds's birthday mecry.gif I kid you not. He's just reached the limit with his behavior. I just can't do this any freaking more.

 

He lied to me about homework and got caught in it, and he called his teacher a liar today...bad enough in and of themselves, and if they were isolated incidents, I could maybe deal with it.

But he lies constantly, he's a master manipulator, he's beyond intelligent, and the worst part is he's a totally sweet kid. But his bad side wins.

 

He's Jekyll or Hyde, and there's no in-between. He's on 3 meds already and we're looking at a 4th one greensad.gif but I don't, really really don't, think meds are all the answer. I think that part of the time, yes, he needs them badly. He can't function without them. But I also think he's worked his way around using them as an excuse for bad behavior. And as a crutch. 

 

I just don't know what to do anymore. He is SO sassy. He does not recognize authority at all. He does not see getting sent out of class or getting sent to the principal's as a bad thing. He does not get it. And does not care. He disrupts the whole class so that the teachers cannot conduct the lessons, and there are 21 other kids in there!

And he blames...oh, my gods, how he blames. It's everybody's fault but his. Everybody is out to get him. He's such a victim.

The other side of the coin is he is SO disrespectful. His hill to die on is that he has to have the last word. He talks back. He does not freaking care. He talks over me, the teachers, anybody. He doesn't listen. He does what he wants and feels entitled to do so. Anywhere! In class, at home, at church, at my mom's...and he talks back to anybody.

 

I swear, if I acted like he did when I was a kid-- if anybody I know acted like him!-- I wouldn't be able to sit down for a week. For everything. And getting sent out of class? OMG. On top of being terrified (the principal! OMG!) I would be so ashamed, and so scared to tell my parents. They'd never let me live it down. My kid? Couldn't care less. His reaction? "So?"

 

I don't know what to do. He's really, really (understandably) upset. M has talked to him. I have talked to him. At first he kind of agreed, but now he's playing the victim again ("How can you do this to me? You hate me! My birthday! It's everything! Why can't you wait till after and THEN do this?"). Thing is, this is my leverage, this IS huge, yes. I have nothing to bargain with if I let him have it all and wait till after.

 

I'd waved the behavior reports in his face-- LOTS of them, and they none of them were very good at all-- and said when he gets a month of them, come talk to me about birthdays. I know he can behave when he wants to. Last week he had 4 days off, and those days and the bookend days were so good, I was like "Who are you and what have you done with my kid?". So I KNOW he can do it. I know he can. He thinks I expect perfect behavior in the next weeks-- I don't. I just want more good than not-good. Just for freaking once I want him to show me that he is capable, even if it takes monumental effort.

 

Oh, gawd, mamas. I HATE being a parent sometimes. I freaking hate it. I'm so low right now.

 

 



<<hugs>> my son was just like that. i really dont have too much advice. i am not sure if anything i did actually changed anything for him. i did quit arguing with him. it is harder than it sounds. i said what was and that was it. anything he said after that was ignored. i dont know if that would work for you though. my son still doesnt really care. he is starting to care about school more now that he is in high school. and this is his second to last year. he is actually doing his homework. i think it is only bc he is scared to not graduate. he wants to be like the other kids and get his diploma. but he still doesnt really care about consequences for other things or his actions. he makes me hate being a parent sometimes too. esp thinking that his siblings might act just like him. i wouldnt give in. you already cancelled his birthday. whether it was said in haste or not, if you back down you will be seen as wishy washy and nothing will change. refuse to engage in arguments over it. it is done. it is his consequence bc you cant take it anymore. and that is fine. at least that is my opinion. 

 

post #168 of 186

 Oh, Maia, how sucky! Is he currently seeing a therapist regularly? Maybe its time for a new one for some fresh perspective. What about chiro and/or accupuncture/accupressure? I've heard a lot of good stuff about Rescue Remedy. Diet changes? IDK, I'm just throwing more or less anything I've ever heard about ADHD out there. hug2.gif

 

Feral-Nice to hear from you! Sorry about the computer, though! Hope you can be back with some regularity soon!

 

Lioness-Glad you are enjoying your car! 

 

Clay-Good luck with the pumping! Hopefully they will be a little more lenient with you and what you got was just the orientation hard ass version! 

 

So much housework to catch up on today. I spent yesterday just sitting around playing a video game. I've never done that before and holy great wow is my house in a world of hurt for it! It was kinda fun yesterday, but today...it wasn't worth it. So here is to a day of extreme productivity! 

 

Ok, I just sat DS2 on the desk in front of me and his butt hit some button or combo of buttons and it shrank the screen size so it doesn't fill the whole monitor now. Everything is really teeny and hard to read and I have no idea what buttons his big ole diaper hit. Anyone have any ideas?!?!

post #169 of 186
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post

 

He's Jekyll or Hyde, and there's no in-between. He's on 3 meds already and we're looking at a 4th one greensad.gif but I don't, really really don't, think meds are all the answer. 


I can't remember if you'd said or not but does he go to regular therapy sessions with a neuropsych?  Some will take insurance but if they don't, some will wave the fee (mine did.)

You may also want to consider Neuro Feedback.  Trouble is, NF is crazy expensive.  

I know this sounds like woo but can you get your son into yoga (daily)?  So many people I know who have kids on the spectrum and/or ADHD say that yoga has made a huge difference in behavior.  (I bought Roo a yoga mat and we're going to start yoga together at home with a dvd.)

Best of luck!

post #170 of 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by LionessMom View Post<<hugs>> my son was just like that. i really dont have too much advice. i am not sure if anything i did actually changed anything for him. i did quit arguing with him. it is harder than it sounds. i said what was and that was it. anything he said after that was ignored. i dont know if that would work for you though. my son still doesnt really care. he is starting to care about school more now that he is in high school. and this is his second to last year. he is actually doing his homework. i think it is only bc he is scared to not graduate. he wants to be like the other kids and get his diploma. but he still doesnt really care about consequences for other things or his actions. he makes me hate being a parent sometimes too. esp thinking that his siblings might act just like him. i wouldnt give in. you already cancelled his birthday. whether it was said in haste or not, if you back down you will be seen as wishy washy and nothing will change. refuse to engage in arguments over it. it is done. it is his consequence bc you cant take it anymore. and that is fine. at least that is my opinion.


Thanks, Lioness.

 

Actually, I don't give a rat's patootie if he cares about school. I have decided my two main goals are:

 

1) attitude, and

2) complying with school (and other places where he is expected to do as others do, such as church), as in, acting normally and not disrupting whatever is going on.

 

He does not have to like things. He DOES have to learn how to do them, like everybody else, and get along, respectfully.

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali View PostI can't remember if you'd said or not but does he go to regular therapy sessions with a neuropsych?  Some will take insurance but if they don't, some will wave the fee (mine did.)

You may also want to consider Neuro Feedback.  Trouble is, NF is crazy expensive.  

I know this sounds like woo but can you get your son into yoga (daily)?  So many people I know who have kids on the spectrum and/or ADHD say that yoga has made a huge difference in behavior.  (I bought Roo a yoga mat and we're going to start yoga together at home with a dvd.)

 

He has a therapist. We haven't been in a good while because his insurance changed, and now the copay is $60 rather than $5 greensad.gif That is all he's eligible for, unfortunately.

 

He DID neurofeedback, through the school, when he had insurance that would cover it. It worked for a little while, and did really well, but then the therapist wanted to tweak it, and it just tanked from there, so we stopped.

 

Yoga....doubt it. No money, but might try. There's free yoga here. I've been thinking about going, for myself.

 

Birthday:

 

I WAS leaning towards letting him earn back the one sleepover this weekend. I already canceled them both. But the more I think about it, the more I think, after two days? Um, no. He has been able to hold it together for two days before. Maybe next weekend. I have to call the cake place and have them not make it tomorrow. Thankfully, the Groupon is good for a long while; I'll have to check.

 

Tuesday, his actual birthday, we shall see. It's going to be touch and go, a day at a time. I talked to another mom (his best school friend's mom, of the kid who was supposed to stay over tomorrow) who said, and I had no idea, that the workload for this class, this year, is HUGE, and very overwhelming, and her kid can't handle it, and she's a much more hands-on school mom than me. She sees what the kids can handle and what they can't. Mine doesn't bring the assignments home eyesroll.gif So I think we will spend this weekend doing school stuff.
 

 

post #171 of 186
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View Post

 

Yoga....doubt it. No money, but might try. There's free yoga here. I've been thinking about going, for myself.

 

 



You can get a cheap yoga mat at Target/Walmart for about $12.  Then, you can borrow yoga dvd's from the library (ds liked Little Yogi's w/Wai Lana) or Rodney Yee.  If you have Netflix or cable, you can find yoga shows on there.  That's all you need for basic yoga.  You don't need to take a class.

post #172 of 186

Maia: Thinking of you this weekend.  How are you holding up as far as cancelling the birthday?  How's the boy been acting?

 

Clay: ALSO thinking of you and your L-O-N-G work day today.  How can you only get 2 15 minute breaks during such a long shift?  That seems...illegal, frankly.  Hmmm... ??

 

3x: Sometimes I hit wrong buttons and shrink my screen - I have to hit both control and the plus and minus signs to resize the screen.  Somehow I do it ALL THE TIME.  

 

Started sprouting my seeds for Imbolc today.  I'm not sure they'll be ready for the 2nd... oh well.  

 

Happy weekend to every body!!  

post #173 of 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by vydalea View PostMaia: Thinking of you this weekend.  How are you holding up as far as cancelling the birthday?  How's the boy been acting?


Thank you for thinking of us!

 

Weird...Thursday, he got the best behavior chart he's ever gotten. EVER. No infractions at all. I said "See? I told you you can do it". He can get N (needs improvement), M (meets expectations), or E (exceeds expectations). He got all M's on Thursday. He got like two N's on Friday. Usually it's like half N's and he gets sent out of class at least once a day. I'm just putting my dang foot down. He is too old for this garbage. I'm tired of him acting 4 when he's 11. I have a zero tolerance policy now. No more 1-2-3 Magic. First strike, you're out.

 

He's been acting pretty well. He still has a major problem with sass and tone-of-voice, but we're working on it.

 

Imbolc seeds-- what are you doing?

 

And I agree, for every 8 hour shift you're supposed to get 1 15m break and 1 half hour lunch, at least. I've worked in NYS and I don't think things could have changed that much!

 

Did I mention that M's webcam broke? mecry.gifHe won't have money for a new one for ages. I, however, have the greatest website on the planet-- it's cellphoneshop.com (I think). I bought a car charger for both my cell phone and my ear piece and they were less than $5 each with no shipping, and they work great! I thought they'd be crap, but at those prices I was willing to lose the money if they were awful. Pleasantly surprised there! So I found a web cam on there and had one sent to him. He should get it in a couple of days. I don't know what kind it is, no-name, probably, but any is better than none! He's all about good quality stuff, meaning expensive stuff, but he'll just have to deal with this till he can afford the one he wants orngtongue.gif

post #174 of 186

Maia, I'm glad to hear that so far your son sees that Mama means BUSINESS! :)  I hope it sticks!! fingersx.gif

 

Seeds: I'm just sprouting them in a jar to eat in our sandwiches on Thursday.  Have you ever tried it?

 

Hope M gets his webcam soon so you can see his cute face and he can see yours.  :)  heehee.

 

Where the heck is everyone:?? 

post #175 of 186

Maia-Hope your DS keeps on this track for awhile! Have you gotten to see M yet? 

 

Vydalea-Interesting idea on the seeds. I've not done that. Yup, that's what I did and it fixed it! So glad to know that trick now for the next time DS2's diaper causes problems! lol.gif

 

What is everyone's plans for Imbolc? We will be making some candles. DD and I will do dip candles together with some beeswax and I'm going to do some molded candles with parrafin wax )and crayons for color lol) by myself. I need the alone time to relax, space out, and just BE, kwim? What better time to do it then while honoring the Goddess?!

 

Unfortunately, my kitchen cleaning buzz has waned. Not out of a lack of desire, just...my energy has gone far far away, lol. So the kitchen is relatively torn up half organized, half completely topsy turvy because everything is pulled out and not put away. The rest of my house isn't much better. I had to go searching for DD's birth certificate for her new school and tore the place to shreds. Never found it either. Then I was too discouraged to clean it up!! *sigh* Today is a new day and hopefully a much better one!

post #176 of 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by vydalea View PostMaia, I'm glad to hear that so far your son sees that Mama means BUSINESS! :)  I hope it sticks!! fingersx.gif

 

Seeds: I'm just sprouting them in a jar to eat in our sandwiches on Thursday.  Have you ever tried it?

 

Hope M gets his webcam soon so you can see his cute face and he can see yours.  :)  heehee.

 

Where the heck is everyone:?? 


Right? Where the heck IS everybody??

 

Today is ds's birthday. We had a bit of a rough morning. Not bad behavior, just WAY unfocused, silly (STOOPID silly, meaning obnoxious), and I don't know if he will be able to hold it together at school today. If not...oh, I so do not want to do this...but he can have his birthday tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the next.

 

I have sprouted sprouts before, lots and lots of times. Good idea! I don't know if I have any seeds, though.

 

M is utterly adorable, true luxlove.gif

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by 3xMama View PostMaia-Hope your DS keeps on this track for awhile! Have you gotten to see M yet?

Nope greensad.gif thank the gods for phones. Have y'all seen Cold Mountain? Wretched, sad...I'm so glad we don't have to depend on letters that take months to arrive! It's a fantastic movie. The book is awesome, too.

post #177 of 186

Sorry. I've been on FB, but just reading here. 18 credits is not a fun teaching load, lemme tell ya!

 

Imbolc is my DD's half birthday, so I'm making her cupcakes. She has requested chocolate (big surprise). We'll do something to incorporate Imbolc/Brigid, though not sure what yet.

post #178 of 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by witchygrrl View Post

 

Imbolc is my DD's half birthday, so I'm making her cupcakes. She has requested chocolate (big surprise). We'll do something to incorporate Imbolc/Brigid, though not sure what yet.



Cream cheese frosting would be appropriate. ;-)

 

 

If my drops are home, I'll be in the loading part of the Hcg diet so my Imbolc will be heavy on cheese/yogurt since I'll be 23 days without after that...

 

 

I don't have what I need to make candels but I have some bees wax so I plan on playing with it and maybe create a little goddess for my altar or the kitchen. :-)

post #179 of 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by Valerie.Qc View PostIf my drops are home, I'll be in the loading part of the Hcg diet so my Imbolc will be heavy on cheese/yogurt since I'll be 23 days without after that...


Hey, welcome to hCG! I'm on like 20-something days on the VLCDs on Round 4. I'm down 18+ lbs thumb.gif

post #180 of 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maiasaura View PostHey, welcome to hCG! I'm on like 20-something days on the VLCDs on Round 4. I'm down 18+ lbs thumb.gif


Oh yeah-- did you read through the HCG support thread on MDC? It's in the Weight Loss thread. It's GREAT reading and I highly recommend it!

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