Queer Conceptions January 2012 - Page 13

[Cananny]

Originally Posted by rs11 

Inviting: Would you please move to the TWW? Thanks!

I just got back from my IUI! I'm sitting in the living room with my feet propped up. I know they said it wouldn't do any good, but I know it won't hurt.

My IUI went almost smoothly. It turns out I was an overacheiver when it came to getting my bladder full. They had to try twice; on the first try my bladder was full the catheter couldn't pass! I had to empty it a bit, and on the second try it went fine.

Our 0.5 ml "sample" had 39 million sperm in it! The nurse was so impressed she called another nurse over to see. She said their samples normally have 11 or 12 million and called ours "supersperm." I hope it is!

Now the hard part (the TWW) begins!

Yay for super swimmers...ours had 75million...so if your nurses say your guys were super...it gives me a little hope .....this is our month !!!!

[Cananny]

Meaning yours and mine..the our month part !!!! With super swim team!!!!!!!!!

[carmen358]

Great news, dandy! It's so fun telling people! Get used to the sore breasts....and how big they will get! ;)

[invitnconceptn]

Dandy:  You and your fertility balls will be missed on this forum. In the time I've been here, you have contributed such sound wisdom and support. It's great to hear a bit about your BFP reveal to the fam. I hope you and DP have many more celebrations while on your pregnancy journey.(I thought you would be happy with a few more dancing veggies for the road)

Outdoorsy: I'm sending you sweet positive vibes that you get a BFP in the next few days.

Planet: It is so awesome that you are so excited. You deserve to be lady. Yeah!!!!!

Amt1015: What a small world! We could possibly be working with the same donor. I would love to talk about this more with you. If you haven't seen it, I sent you a private msg about this. Also, I too love the moments when I notice myself experiencing a positive shift in attitude, or perspective in this ttc process, and find myself accepting something I previously didn't or couldn't.  I don't think this is can be particularly easy..but who said that anything as significant and challenging as the ttc wasn't difficult, at times.

RS11: It is rather endearing that your DP is so worried about you. It sounds like different moms on this forum have really good feedback for you. Plus another option: you could also ask your doc about appropriate physical activity during tww. I wish you lots of a fun distraction during this hard waiting game.

Hopeful: If DW and I could afford two vials we would typically buy two vials, just bc. Regarding your question about work schedules: this is a awesome question. I set my own hours at my job and so I try to fix my schedule around when I could possibly insem. I have had to work around DW's work schedule too, my schedule is more flexible. In my experience trying to figure out when to insem during work day hours is somewhat of a frenzied mess until the day before/or the day of. It truly sucks but it is what it is. Perhaps others here have found a better system.

Nosreves and Allison: Yeah waiting to O...it will be here before you know it

AFM: I want to tell Dandy, Planet, RS11, and Amt1015 thank you so much for your replies to my donor dilemma. After giving it much thought, DW and I decided to go ahead and try to insem this month for the first time with our KD even though he hasn't gotten back his STD results. I talked to him tonight and he says that it is common for it to take two weeks for the results there. He sounded fine and not defensive at all, just more matter of fact than anything else when explaining to me why he thinks he hasn't gotten the results back. DW was fine with just going ahead with the insem...I am just an anxious ninny about certain things but I have really come to the realization that I will have to trust this guy is who he says he is bc we are not going to be doing STD testing every month anyway. 

So I think I might get my LH surge tomorrow perhaps. Tonight I had a mishap (I think) with the OPK instrument where I p'd too much on it and I think I made the reference line smear and bled onto the indicator line in one small section..which brought about a premature the smiley face or at least I think it is premature. We'll see. If it is true then I will have a smiley face most likely first thing in the morning- I normally cont to have a smiley for 12-14 hrs after initial smiley.  For now I will just sleep on it. At this point looking to insem at home with donor's shipped goods Tuesday afternoon. I will keep you all informed.

[invitnconceptn]

Hello everyone me again. I have an insem timing question:


As of this morning there are no signs that I began to surge last night so moving on....I will probably get the surge wednesday or thursday and at this point i still dont know when I actually O. Now that DW and I are working w fresh sperm shipped overnight, when would the best to insem? We are still working w only one specimen collection at this point bc we only could afford one collection kit. From what KD says and from what I've read possibly by the time the sperm arrives it will live for 2 days inside me.

To me this is one of those annoying math problems from hs. I've never been good at math. Any thoughts about when to insem would b greatly appreciated. Thank you. Thank you.

[esenbee2]

Haven't been around much this past week, as school has been quite hectic.  I can't believe all I have missed!

I would like to send out my ​CONGRATULATIONS to Planet and Dandy!!!!!!!!!!  I cried from being so happy for you two when reading about both of your BFP!

                     

                     

AFM: We ordered our swim team and it is shipping out today to get here at 15/16 DPO.  Here's to hoping for clear and obvious OV testing and a lot less stress about timing!

[kgulbransen]

Originally Posted by invitnconceptn 

Hello everyone me again. I have an insem timing question:
As of this morning there are no signs that I began to surge last night so moving on....I will probably get the surge wednesday or thursday and at this point i still dont know when I actually O. Now that DW and I are working w fresh sperm shipped overnight, when would the best to insem? We are still working w only one specimen collection at this point bc we only could afford one collection kit. From what KD says and from what I've read possibly by the time the sperm arrives it will live for 2 days inside me.
To me this is one of those annoying math problems from hs. I've never been good at math. Any thoughts about when to insem would b greatly appreciated. Thank you. Thank you.

Invited: what other signs are you using to help determine O? If you are just going based on the results of OPK, the best time to inseminate is about 12 hours after the positive. But you also need to time that with arrival of the fresh sperm. Although it may have a buffer in it, fresh sperm shipped does have a finite life span (just like all sperm). It could actually live in you from 3-5 days although 5 is really representative of a young, probably overly high achiever guy in the sperm department so I prefer to count on three!

If you're using other signs to monitor impending O, when 3 signs line up, then it's time to inseminate soon thereafter. Best of luck.

Krista

[wishin'&hopin']

Congrat's to Planet and Dandy!!  And, here's hoping everyone else gets dancing veggies (or better yet, sticky babies!) soon!  

AFM--we are weighing pros and cons of a couple of places based on finances.

Place A)  obgyn clinic that offers monitored cycle IUI.  This place is in network so our insurance covers 90% up to 5,000.  But, they don't have anyplace to store sperm, so we'd have a 200 dollar shipping fee every month.  30 minutes from DW's work (her job's start and end times are pretty inflexible, so this may matter)

Place B) reproductive endocrinology clinic.  Out of network so covered at 70% up to 5,000.  They have storage (with fees, but we'd be paying fees at our sperm bank anyway)  20 minutes from DW's work

We have an appointment at place A in a couple of weeks and need to decide whether to keep it or not.  Since this is just the intake we may keep it AND make an appointment at the other place as well just in case.  

Any thoughts?

(I know 5,000 can go fast, but it's something...)

[lisedea]

Uggg...I just got a print out of the amount of money I spent in 2011 on sperm for my taxes. SO depressing....I guess at least I know I can afford to raise a child if I can spend that much on trying to have one...

[Hopeful22]

Wishin- If you were going based purely on finances it would seem to me that A would be better. Im sure that the $200 you would spend every month on shipping fees would be made up for in the difference in your 90% coverage and 70% unless place B has lower fees. It might be helpful if you can to figure out what it would cost at each place without your insurance then you can figure out how much you would be paying out of pocket and see which one is more cost effective. Good luck!

invitn- Sorry I can not help you with fresh sperm timing but good luck with it!

Allison- I hope you are enjoying every minute of your vacation. I know what you are talking about about planning things for the next time you go down there and what it will be like and what you will need with your LO. I love doing that. It makes me feel so hopeful.

Thank you all for the help with my questions krista, planet, dandy, invitn and rs.

We ordered our sperm today. We did decide to go with 2 vials of IUI. I figure it can't hurt and it might help so why not. It helps me to feel like I am at least doing everything that I can do for now and that is a good feeling.

and  to all!

[planet]

Hey everyone!

Like Dandy, I feel like I'm straddling the two worlds, so I hope it's okay if I still hang out here for a bit!

Invitin- I think it is so awesome that you two decided to go ahead with the insem this month!  I hope it goes well for you both.  As for the timing, I agree with Krista's comment about looking at as many ovulation signs as possible - temperature, CM and OPK are what I've been paying attention to. Brill's book talks about how many women tend to rely too heavily on OPKs without listening to the other symptoms.  Generally speaking, 12 hours after OPK sounds perfect, though!  I'm crossing my fingers for you guys!

Wishin&Hopin- I'm not sure about the differences between the obgyn care and the RE care, but being able to have your sperm stored right there would be pretty sweet!  DP and I decided to have our swim team shipped to a place in our city so that we would just know it's near when we need it (my cycle often changes, so we were concerned that it would be too stressful for us to try to decide when to have them shipped here from the bank!).  We were really glad we decided to do that - plus, we "saved" on shipping, since we shipped three vials at one time to the storage place.  Storing the swimmers for 6 months cost less for us than one month of shipping, so we felt good about it.  If we end up doing this again at some point, we'll do the same thing.  Whatever you decide, may you have excellent care and wonderful practitioners!

And I'm crossing my fingers to all of you in the TWW and those about to insem!  Good luck to all of you!!!! I can't wait to see those BFPs.

xoxoxoxo

planet

[rs11]

Cananny -I hope so! We'll find out soon.

Dandy -You are already going to have to buy new bras? Wow.

Allison: I'm glad you're enjoying your vacation. My DW isn't being cruel, just overly protective. She's actually calmed down a lot, thank goodness.

Invitin -I've no idea about the best timing. I suppose 12-24 hours post OPK is probably the best. I think the ideal timing would depend on how long the sperm lives and when you "O" after the positive test. If the shipped sperm does only live for 24 hours, you insem at 12 hours, and you don't "O" until 36 hours (some women don't), then your chances wouldn't be very good.

Wishin: The only choice we had was an RE, but I'm glad we went with him, because they do have storage for sperm and actually want it there early in case you "O" early (every cycle is different). In my case, I O'ed late, and if we hadn't had stored sperm, we wouldn't have been able to do the insem because the sperm would have thawed out. Our RE also stores it for free for the month you're working on, though, so that makes a big difference. Good luck, whatever you decide!

AFM: I'm five days past the trigger shot and I'm STILL having nausea issues. The nurse said it could take up to ten days to get out of my system, but you would think it would be getting better! I've also been having some mild cramping last night and this morning. If either/or keeps up, I'm going to call the nurse. Do you ladies have suggestions?

Oh, slightly OT, but my DW's cousin is about to POP with her first. She is so big she can't stand up straight, or she'll follow over. She can't even get out of bed or out of a chair w/o help. She's only 4'10", and they're estimating the baby to be about 7.5 pounds. She's not due for two more weeks, but she's going to be induced if the baby doesn't come by Monday. Her doctor doesn't want her to carry to term. Yay new baby in the family!

[dandylez]

AFM: I'm five days past the trigger shot and I'm STILL having nausea issues. The nurse said it could take up to ten days to get out of my system, but you would think it would be getting better! I've also been having some mild cramping last night and this morning. If either/or keeps up, I'm going to call the nurse. Do you ladies have suggestions?

rs11: Cramping at 5 days could be a good sign! Implantation maybe? It's early but possible, I think. Anyone else?  I didn't have nausea after the trigger shot, but I hope it passes soon. Good luck!

[outdoorsy]

Well, it's a BFN for me this morning. Which kind of makes me annoyed that our midwife wanted to insem the same day as my surge. It may have been a good choice to change up the timing we had done with our at-home ICIs, but I was a little disheartened when I called to make the appointment and the receptionist was like, "But that's not what we normally do." Anyhoo, I now know that my breast tenderness is really just AF after all, not pregnancy tenderness. I thought it was interesting that Dandylez said she had breast tenderness around the time of BFP, because my sister (who's had two babies) told me that breast tenderness probably meant I was getting AF. So far, AF is not here yet, but it will be here within the week. I will be repeating what we did last month, except probably insemming the day after the surge this time. A Feb pregnancy would mean a Nov baby - getting close to Christmas. People have told me this is stupid, but I've thought about skipping a March try so I don't saddle the kid with a Christmas birthday. But I never thought it would take this long. We started our talks with our former KD in summer 2008. We've done 3 cycles with the "live" sperm (after moving on from infertile KD).

I don't have the fortitude for personals right now, but I saw Wishin's question. It was a huge emotional relief to me to use a clinic with storage. You don't have to time the sperm ordering, and it's one less thing to worry about.

I've been thinking, maybe it would be helpful for people who get a BFP to write a brief summary of what they were doing the month they succeeded, i.e.,  ICI vs. IUI, fresh/frozen, days after smiley that you insemmed, and what meds you used if any. Dandy and Planet, will you start?

Hugs to all. And sorry to the people to whom I haven't written a lot of personals in general. There are a lot of people to keep track of on here.

[dandylez]

Outdoorsy: I'm so sorry about your BFN.    I know how hard it is to have to start over with the next cycle, but hang in there. It will happen for you! My boobs get tender and bigger at AF too, and every month we tried I hoped it was a symptom.  There wasn't a lot of difference this time, except that my nipples were ultra-sensitive - they sort of felt like they were burning at times or sharp sensations at other times. But I think everyone's symptoms differ.

As for what we did differently this time -- it was pretty much the whole thing.  It was our first time working with the clinic after trying at home with our KD.

So, here it is:

- Clomid for 5 days.

- Trigger shot. IUI at 24 and 48 hours after trigger.

- frozen sperm

- No OPK, but the clinic tracked the follicle with daily ultrasound and bloodwork.

In terms of what I could control, I cut out coffee and alcohol at the start of my cycle, and got my caffeine from 1 cup of green tea every morning.  Then herbal tea, lots of water, and lots of fresh food - veggies, salads etc.  I just tried to act as if I was already pregnant.  During the 2WW, I did moderate exercise, but nothing too intense.  Oh, and we had fun in bed after the 2nd IUI.  (I think I already posted that, but I read somewhere that it helps after an IUI too.)  

I hope this helps!  I do think that everyone is different, and even our bodies are different each month, and  that we just get lucky sometimes.  Good luck and lots of baby dust!

[DesertSunsets]

Outdoorsy, I'm really sorry to hear this cycle didn't pan out for you. It's unbelievably frustrating to get BFNs month after month. Hugs to you.
For what it's worth, here are our stats for the BFP cycle:
Pos OPK (smiley) on CD 16.
1st insem at 24 hours post, DW's cervix didn't quite look as open nor feel as soft as it had in the past. Used a vial of ICI, inserted into her cervix with a catheter.
At 36 hours post, we had planned to do the second insem... But it just didn't feel right. That morning her temperature had not dipped to indicate she would ovulate that day, so we decided to wait until the following morning.
At 49 hours post, DW took her temperature and found it dipping, so we inseminated right then. This time it was an IUI vial, but the catheter would not advance fully into her uterus so I carefully inserted it into her cervix, just like the previous morning. For this insemination, she had bountiful amounts of EWCM, and her cervix was pink and open. It almost looked swollen, it was so soft.
After each insem she had an orgasm and lay with her hips up on some pillows for about thirty minutes, then we took the pillows away and cuddled until the foster kids woke up for the day.

Every cycle, BFP cycle included, I had moments and days of being convinced that she was pregnant and then also feeling despondent that it could not have worked. The BFP cycle, she experienced some cramping and breast tenderness in the day or two leading up to a BFP on 12 DPO - but she had those same "symptoms" on all the BFN cycles as well. In fact, there were some BFN cycles that she had the whole gamut of early pregnancy symptoms, only to have AF show up.

Have we learned anything? Only this: to listen to your body more carefully than you listen to odds, statistics, and suggestions from others who don't know your cycle nearly as well as you do.

Basically, I've concluded the whole thing is a crapshoot and there is only so much we can control. Unfortunately.

What I can offer is my condolences, a shoulder to lean on, and to keep reassuring you that it IS possible. Keep your chin up. Someday, this span of time won't seem nearly as long as it feels to us now.

[kgulbransen]

Although you didn't ask for me, I'll weigh in.

All three times I've gotten pregnant, we insemmed the day before O (around positive OPK time), the day of O and the day after O. OPKs confirm for me to start the insem process. The one other time where we insemmed last year (we insemmed four times last year, I got pregnant on three of the four) we mis-timed and didn't have that "day before, day of and day after" timing.

So in my opinion, insemming first when you see the OPK (saw it during the day, first insemination in the evening) has been successful for us. But this only works if you're doing multiple insems. If you're only getting to do one insem per cycle, then insemming earlier rather than later is important. Hitting it around 12 hours after your positive OPK is a good rule of thumb but this only works if you're monitoring other signs to help confirm. Remember, for a good percentage of women, OPKs don't work and sometimes give false readings which is why it's really best to monitor at least three signs and when all three signs line up, you go!

Frankly, it's not as easy as just using a formula that someone else used. If it were, we'd all be pregnant by now!

Good luck,

Krista

[rs11]

Outdoorsy: I'm so sorry about the BFN. :( I hope you get your BFP next month!

Dandy: I won't even consider that...it's too early, and I absolutely refuse to get my hopes up.

Someone mentioned POAS errors, and I wanted to say that I gave that up after I ruined several OPK test sticks. I now do the alternative: pee in a cup, dip the end of the test stick in the pee until it starts flashing, and then lay it on the counter. I haven't ruined a stick since starting that.

[nosreves]

hey gals

i need some advice....  i was supposed to start stimming on cd1 this cycle.  last friday we sent the prescription from belgium to our gyn here in france via snail mail (her request.)  she was supposed to send us the French prescriptions back sometime this week (also via snail mail.) well, i started spotting this weekend, and since i was sure that the arrival of AF was imminent, DP called the gyn monday and asked if i could just come and pick the prescriptions up in person instead of waiting the extra days and missing my window.  the gyn was extremely nasty to DP, saying NO i could not come and pick them up and that we should make an appointment for that.  then she said that what she's doing for us is illegal anyway, so we should just shut up about it and wait to start stimming until next month.  DP called me in tears to tell me all this, and for a little while after that i was a wreck, as well.  luckily, the gyn seemed to have realized how horrible she'd been to DP, and she called her back and said that she could pick up the scripts later that evening.  battle won, right?  wrong....  apparently, follistim/puregon is out of stock EVERYWHERE in france, and no one knows when it will be available again.  one pharmacist i talked to said i could use Gonal-F instead, but that would require him to call my gyn, and at this point, neither DP or i want to risk pissing her off further.  

so today is CD1 for me.  there may be some follistim available at the end of the week, but that's not certain, and i was supposed to start today.  what i do have available is clomid, 10 2mg tablets of estrace (which definitely helped my lining) and an hcg trigger.  what do ya'll think?  should i go ahead and try stimulating with clomid?  i don't know what the clinic in belgium is going to say, but i feel like i can't afford to miss a third cycle in a row. 

do i wait it out for another month or do i give the clomid one last try knowing that i may not have follies on the good/unblocked side and also knowing that my lining will probably suffer?  any advice at all is appreciated.

[outdoorsy]

Thank you to Dandy, Desert, and Krista for writing those summaries. I know there isn't a magic formula, but it helps to see what's worked for some folks.

Thanks also to rs11 for the sympathy. I too am a pee-in-a-cup girl, not POAS. Why make things more difficult?

nosreves -- that's horrible the way your gyn reacted. Maybe she's afraid of getting in trouble? But she made her choice when she agreed to work with you. She now has an obligation to treat you as well as her hetero patients. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to have your pharmacist call her, since they'd be talking one white coat to another, and your gyn would hopefully be professional about it. As far as the Clomid, I'm sorry but I don't know much about that (yet). My midwife has me trying au naturel for now.