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Queer Conceptions January 2012 - Page 4

post #61 of 325

Carmen- We have been following your story for awhile now..and we are fingersx.gif for you on Wednesday!!!

post #62 of 325

Lise -- I was saddened to read about the mass in your uterus. Maybe resolving this will be a positive turning point for you --- but I understand your feeling like you are in a different place right now. I hope to see you back here!


dandylez -- congrats on the insems! now we wait!


rs11 -- good luck to you. when you are nervous, think of all of us cheering you on.


And to Carmen --- C'mon, Wednesday, time to get here soon! Carmen needs to POAS! thumbsup.gif

post #63 of 325

Hi all: As some of you know, I've been doing some media related to our known donor who is the US government breathing down his neck to stop donating (they gave him a "cease and desist" order). There was Newsweek article a number of months ago in regards to this order.


As a result, the media has been quite interested in the story. He and I opted to participate in an ABC News, 20/20 Special. That is now set to air this Friday, January 13 at 10:00 pm local time. My understanding is it will also be available on the website for playback after its airing.


I am trying to bring to light the purpose and importance of fresh sperm -- whether to lesbians or any couple/woman that might need this option. And I'm especially trying to bring to light how ridiculous it is for the government to be intervening.


If you're interested in watching, please do! If nothing else, you'll be able to "see" me for the first time. Sheepish.gif Just remember, the camera adds 10 pounds...



post #64 of 325

Oh wow! Krista, that's amazing!!  Good for you! And your donor too! I'll have to see if I can get it up here in Canada -- I'm sure it won't be a problem if it's on ABC. I would love to read the Newsweek article too. Do you know if there's a copy online anywhere?


This is such an important issue. Access is key, and so is the freedom to make decisions about how we want to build our families, and how we might want to help others build their families (donation, surrogacy etc.).  I know that we would have preferred a known donor if it had have been possible.  I would have loved our donor to be a friend who is already involved in our lives, so that our child(ren) would grow up knowing their generosity and feeling like they had a very special uncle who helped them come into being.  I can't believe the US government has involved themselves in this!


What is particularly ironic is that our frozen sperm is coming from the US because banks can pay donors there, whereas in Canada there are few donors because financial incentives aren't permitted.  And yet, there's movement in the Canadian government to recognize known donors in the same way that sperm bank donors are currently viewed -- as donors and not as parents -- by recognizing donor contracts.  It's so uneven cross-nationally!


Anyway, congratulations! I can't wait to see the episode and to 'see' you on the screen. joy.gif

post #65 of 325

outdoorsy -- thanks so much for your kind words. and congrats on the well-timed insemination!  DP and i both have had to do insems alone at home because one of us was working, and like you and your DP, we feel that that part doesn't matter as much as the little bundle of love that it could result in.  i hope the TWW whizzes by and that there's a BFP waiting for you at the end of it!


lise -- oh, hon, i am soooo sorry about the bad news.  i really hope that whatever the problem is, it can be resolved quickly and as painlessly and easily as possible.  i think i know a little something of what your feeling right now, and it just sucks.  but like krista said, this might give you some answers and hopefully also lead to the treatment that will bring you your much desired LO.  i'm thinking of you and sending tons of positive vibes and hugs your way.  


desert -- aw thanks for all your sweet comments and encouragement.  how are you and DP doing these days?  btw, i'm *still* trying to find the perfect onesie for ya'll.  so far i've only seen super cheesy, ugly ones that say Paris on them.  the search continues!


rs11 --  thank ya, gal.  your words were very much appreciated.  you mentioned being nervous about thursday...i know you have another blood test then, but are you also getting an u/s then to check follies?  i've got my fingers crossed that all the results are good!


dandy -- merci for the good wishes!  it sounds like your inseminations were perfectly timed...i bet this is your month!  i had no idea about the full bladder for the IUI, so that's definitely some info i will be filing away in case i ever actually get to that point.  can you rub those balls for me, too? (oi, that sounds kinky)    fingers crossed that this is the last TWWT you will have to endure until it's time for LO #2!


carmen -- thanks for sharing the anecdote about your cousin.  reading it made me feel better somehow...     so when are you finally going to break down and test???  


invitin --  a huge *HUG* to you for your response and thank you for telling me your experiences with the hsg.  i've been reading a lot about women who were told they had one or even both tubes blocked only to find out that it was due to spasms during the procedure.  we wrote an email to the gyn tonight asking about doing another hsg before trying other things.   as for your BBT, i think what your friend said is totally possible, and it's also possible that the two thermometers were calibrated differently.  did you actually inseminate this month or were you just temping in preparation for the next cycle?  


krista -- wow, that's soooo cool that our very own expert is going to be on tv!  i'm going to tell my friends state-side to watch, and i'll try to see if there's some way for me to watch it here after it's broadcast.  congratulations on your foray into the limelight and thanks for continuing to fight the good fight for all of us!


DP and i want to thank all of you who sent good wishes for DP's hsg....apparently, those wishes were very effective, as her tubes are completely open and her uterus looks great.  this means that she can start with the IUIs next month!  


the clinic in belgium got back to me right away and said that they want me to have laparoscopy done to see why the tube is blocked and to check for endo.   i am not only reluctant to have this procedure done, i am also not sure that the system here will *allow* me to have it done.  here the lap entails 2-3 days of hospitalization and 1-2 weeks of sick leave, and even if the gyn can prescribe it for me, we may have to pay out of pocket.  i have to wait for the gyn to respond to know more, but the thought of someone cutting on my girl bits again is not very appealing.  the belgians also said they were planning on putting me on 75 iu of follistim from cd2-8(ish) to try to encourage follies on the ovary on the good side.  now i'm wondering if the lap is even necessary if they plan on doing that...  


i've got an u/s tomorrow to see if i have a follicle on the right side and to check my lining, which seems to be on the thin side even when i'm not taking clomid.  i've been taking estrace both vaginally and orally for a few days to see if it helps me grow a thicker endometrium and also to encourage ewcm.   (on a side note, i've had several bouts of what i can only describe as rage in the last couple of days, and it's scared me and DP.  i'm not usually an angry/rage-filled person, so i'm really hoping this is related to the high dose of estrogen... is that possible?)   it would be cool if everything lined up this month and i could insem with our lovely, non-flaky donor later this week, but after all the disappointments i've had these last two years, i trying not to get my hopes up.  


anyway, baby dust and super positive vibes to all of ya'll in the TWW!



post #66 of 325

Hi y'all - 


I am an occasional lurker and some of y'all might remember me from the queer and pregnant thread in the last few years.  Anyway, I have a serious KD dilemma and would really appreciate any thoughts you have on the situation.  I wrote a long post about it here and if you have a few minutes I would really appreciate it if you could offer your thoughts.


Thanks all, and good luck to everyone in their conception journey!

post #67 of 325

Krista: Awesome! I can't wait to watch!


All: 20/20 is online! You can watch it here: http://abc.go.com/watch/2020/SH559026?cid=11_google_news_sem_FEP


Nosrevs: Yes, I have a follicle scan on Thursday as well to see if I'm responding as well. My body is certainly doing something. I started having mood swings yesterday and also started having cramps around my right ovary, which also happened last time I was on ovulation induction drugs. (It's not as bad as last time, so hopefully I won't be overstimulated this time.) Yes, you can have bouts of rage on these drugs -and bouts of terrible depression. Clomid gave me both. I had a complete breakdown one morning on my way out the door to work and ended up sitting in the entrance way bawling like a baby. DW was kind enough to call in for me. The Tamoxifen has NOT had the same sort of side effects and it's also proven to be slightly more effective, so I'm glad I'm on that one this time!


We ordered our swim team yesterday. It should be at the clinic by Thursday. If it goes beyond the 7 day window (which it shouldn't), then the clinic will hold it for us in their freezer until I ovulate. I'm really happy with our donor. He's gotten 7 other women pregnant so far and he hasn't been in the program all that long, so obviously his team can dive as well as swim. I blushed just writing that.ROTFLMAO.gif


As for the known donor vs. unknown, we really wanted to use a KD. We tried 3 times with our KD before discovering he had bad counts and that I needed to use the clinic. The clinic will not work with KDs. I think it is ridiculous. It is my body after all -what I want to do with it is my business and our paternalistic government should have no say in the matter!


Dandy -In the UK, the opposite trend is occurring. Some people want to recognize sperm donors (through a bank) as biological parents! All donors in the UK have to be willing-to-be-known donors, and that's why they have a shortage of sperm. Most of it is shipped in from Scandinavia or the U.S.


Good luck everyone! dust.gifto all!

post #68 of 325

All: 20/20 is online! You can watch it here: http://abc.go.com/watch/2020/SH559026?cid=11_google_news_sem_FEP


Unfortunately, we Canadians don't have access through U.S. websites most of the time.  I just checked and 20/20 is blocked north of the border.  irked.gif  More silly gov't regulations...


rs11: That UK example is really interesting! I'm all for open donations but only if it works for both parties.  We sought out a donor that was okay with being open, so that our potential LO could eventually seek him out if they so desired.  But, biological parent?  To me (and probably to most of us), a parent is one through action, involvement, and care.  Honestly! Why can't people just let other folks do what works for them, and stop sticking their noses in?


Also rs11, best of luck with your new swimmers! That's fantastic that he has such a great track record! You must be feeling very positive! Lots of baby dust to you!! goodvibes.gif

I was really interested to read about the effect that Clomid had on you! That sounds horrible.  It was my first month on it, and I felt quite positive with it, but after I had finished the 5 days, I had an emotional breakdown with my partner, where I ended up bawling my eyes out. That seems to explain some things.  I hope that the Tamoxifen works better for you!  Fingers crossed for a good O, and great insems!!! thumb.gif


nosreves: Good luck with the U/S! I hope you have a big fat ripe follicle ready to drop an egg! I'm thinking about you, and really hope that you are able to work through the system over there!


Outdoorsy: Com'on BFPs!!! We need them!!

Edited by dandylez - 1/10/12 at 6:44am
post #69 of 325

I thought that I'd post the pic of our fertility balls so y'all can see them! 

I'll keep jingling them every day (yes, they have bells in them) and think about all of us in our TTC journey with hope for lots of BFPs! twins.gif  


(Sorry, I'm still in my PJs!)



Photo on 2012-01-10 at 09.07.jpg

post #70 of 325

Very cool, Krista. We don't have TV so I won't be able to see it unfortunately (and someone else said the online site is unavailable up here in Canada). Someone else recently linked to a news story with that donor - he has a big website, etc? I think that's the same guy.


nosreves: good to hear your DPs tests are all clear :) that must have been a relief for you both. Good luck with your u/s today.


Originally Posted by rs11 View Post


As for the known donor vs. unknown, we really wanted to use a KD. We tried 3 times with our KD before discovering he had bad counts and that I needed to use the clinic. The clinic will not work with KDs. I think it is ridiculous. It is my body after all -what I want to do with it is my business and our paternalistic government should have no say in the matter!


Dandy -In the UK, the opposite trend is occurring. Some people want to recognize sperm donors (through a bank) as biological parents! All donors in the UK have to be willing-to-be-known donors, and that's why they have a shortage of sperm. Most of it is shipped in from Scandinavia or the U.S.


Clinics in Canada will only work with KDs if you go through a 6 month quarantine. The RE I have seen said "you can thank the government for that one" lol And I think it's awesome that all donors in the UK have to be wtbk! I didn't know that.



dandy, nice balls!


Afm: 13 DPO ahhhhhhhhh it's killing me! it's killing me! Ok, maybe not quite that bad. I will test tomorrow morning. My temp is way up still but the progesterone can do that. I had such intense AF type cramps last night I was convinced it was going to start. I hope I'm pregnant because I would not enjoy having this wonderful new side effect of pre-AF cramps on a regular basis. ETA: And THANK YOU for the kind words and encouragement, everyone, it helps :)

post #71 of 325

hang in there Carmen!! smile.gif

testing day tomorrow, right? My fingers are crossed and double-crossed here in Kits for you!


The 20/20 episode isn't online yet, but when it is you can watch it (from outside the US) using this cute little app: http://www.tunnelbear.com/

I've been using it for a year and it's great for watching US or UK content now and again.  You can set your 'location' to UK or US and it creates a little proxy for you. It's the easiest and most reliable VPN I've found. 


Krista- I'm looking forward to seeing it! How exciting!


Dandy- nice balls!!  winky.gif

They certainly look fertile- I think my laptop got pregnant just while I was looking at them.



Things are much calmer in our house following this month's insem (our second month).  I don't know if that's good or bad. 

DW is having none of the crazy symptoms that were throwing her for a loop last month- and I'm grateful for that. She does have sore boobs, which she rarely has normally. So, we'll see.


Patient Waiting Vibes (PWV's) to everyone else in the TWW! goodvibes.gif

post #72 of 325

The 20/20 episode isn't online yet, but when it is you can watch it (from outside the US) using this cute little app: http://www.tunnelbear.com/

I've been using it for a year and it's great for watching US or UK content now and again.  You can set your 'location' to UK or US and it creates a little proxy for you. It's the easiest and most reliable VPN I've found. 


Awesome, Anna! Thanks!


I hope that the change in symptoms and sore boobs mean good things!! How many DPO is she?  Good luck!!!

post #73 of 325
Krista--I can't wait to watch it!! We don't have tv either so I will be waiting for it to show up online. Congrats!
post #74 of 325

Hang in there, Carmen! Anybody want to share tips for concentrating on work during the 2WW? I do a lot of writing, and it's hard to stay focused, especially without caffeine. I'm only 2-3 DPO, but I think the switch to IUI has raised my expectations, because I'm feeling impatient already. I only hope my high hopes aren't dashed on the rocks around 14 DPO...shy.gif

post #75 of 325

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the balls.  They are awesome!!  :D


Krista, that's super exciting!!  I can't wait to see your post with the link in it!  


Good luck to all those in the 2WW!  I feel twitchy for you!!  Carmen, you're a brave ducky to wait until day 14!  :)


DW caught a cold and woke up with a fever this morning, so our temping is totally screwed.  She's right at ovulation, which is terribly annoying because we had agreed to skip this month because we thought we would be away (we leave in the morning for Mexico!  Yay!).  She has EWCM this morning... *headdesk*.  So now we're waffling on whether to try once tonight before we leave.  I'm not sure how we're going to fit it in, considering I have to do *everything* since she is coming home from work early and I'm going to feed her soup and put back in her jammies and set her up on the couch with a movie.  Poor thing, she's absolutely miserable, but there was no one to cover for her this morning.  :(  If we inseminate tonight, it means no drinking for her at ALL while we're away, since we won't find out until near the end of our trip (I'm expecting AF to show up and hang out with us).  I won't pack pregnancy tests though, because it'll just make me crazy if I do.  Better not to have the temptation.  ;)


Peace out, yos!



post #76 of 325

Oh, I know, outdoorsy! This month is killing me!!  I'm trying to work on an article and my concentration is shot to hell.  If you figure out a way to focus on something else, please let me know.  Also, I'm hungry all the time, which I'm guessing could be from the hormone from the trigger shot.  Anyone else experience this?

post #77 of 325
Originally Posted by dandylez View Post

I hope that the change in symptoms and sore boobs mean good things!! How many DPO is she?


Wellllllll... that's a good question.

FF thinks she ovulated on the 4th, but I think she ovulated on the 6th or 7th. So I reckon she's 4 or 5 DPO.

She usually has 2 temperature drops, over 3 days, with a small 'hump' on the middle day.  

So, positive OPK around day 11 with a temp drop on the same day, then a somewhat increased temp the next day followed by an even lower temp drop the next, followed by a clear spike the day after. 

We insem across all three days and only stop once we get the clear spike at the end.



Allison- do the insem!

No waffling!

There are so many stories of women getting pregnant in the month when 'it wasn't supposed to work' because of whatever convoluted reasons.

Do it! You never know. And time on a mexican beach could just be the missing piece of the puzzle that the fertility industry has so far ignored! You guys could be on to something here.  In 2 years time when Science catches up we'll all be flying to Mexico to let our uteri (uteruses) bask in the glorious warmth.


Alternatively- and this might be a suggestion you hadn't considered- perhaps it would be best for you guys to stay here after all, and let ME go to Mexico in your stead.  I would be totally prepared to step in and, err, help you out. 

I could be packed in, like, 20 mins.




Dandy-  constant hunger could definitely be a symptom!! Of something.

I'm hungry all the time in this TWW, although in my case it's most likely a symptom that it's January and I'm a greedy gannet who lives in a house apparently filled with chocolate.

Since there's no possibility of me being pregnant, n' all.


does that help with the distraction at all?



Okay, here's a silly dog video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=jos9qwMUdbM#!

post #78 of 325

Sorry all for staying away for so long. I just knew that if I hung around everyday my 2WW would drive me insane. I did occasionally stop in to read and keep up with everyone. Sorry to hear all of the disappointing news and also I wanted to wish everyone luck wherever they are in their cycles!


AFM, we are past our 2WW, BFN on 9 DPO, 14, and 15. **BUT** I am on my 4th day of missing my period and I have NEVER gone past a 29 day cycle. I did not get implantation bleeding like I did with my first pregnancy. Today I got a very unusual show of brownish stuff (sorry if TMI). I have never gotten anything like this either. I do not know what to make of it. I guess I will just have to see what lies in the days ahead. Has anybody had this happen when TTC???

post #79 of 325
Thread Starter 

Nosreves: So excited that DP's HSG went well. I hope your u/s turned out well. It would be wonderful if it did just work out for you to insem after all. Have your Belgium doctor team shared with you their rationale for the recommending you do the lap, and did that recommendation change after today's u/s? As far as your question to me, DW and I decided to take December off so I had been trying to chart to keep aware of what my body may or may not be doing. It seems that I ended up confusing myself temping this past month.


RS11: Thanks for the 20/20 link. Good luck at your follicle scan and it sounds like you have a great donor. Hopefully happy insemmming soon!


Dandylez: first of all, love those balls. I think every cause needs a good ol' fashion theme song to help foster solidarity and rally everyone's spirits. It somewhat of a paradox for me to say as a lezzie: but your fertility balls with their jingling bells can be our theme song. Just a thought. Thanks for sharing your experience with Clomid too- Clomid sounds like it can be some rough stuff. Good to know.


Carmen: Oh girl, just one more day you can do it! I think that the last few days at the end of the TWW can be particularly agonizing. It's like everything moves in slow motion and nothing can distract you from the questioning/pondering enough. Good luck tomorrow tolerating whatever more you wait you may have before you test. I'm sending you lots and lots good vibes for two clearly visible and distinct two lines!!!!!!!!!


Dandy and Outdoorsy: Re concentration at work during TWW: well strangely enough for me that the work is the one place I am completely distracted during the tww. Unstructured downtime is the time that my mind will linger on what if thoughts, or want to check out every possible physical symptoms online. I am resigned now after so many months of ttc to maybe cross reference symptoms online only a couple of times. Back to the issue of trying to concentrate at work, something that works for me when I am feeling distracted is getting up and stretching in my office,and sitting and focusing on my breathing for a minute or two and grounding myself to the moment. This helps me get into my body and out of my head.


Allison: I agree with Anna. I think you should try to insem too particularly if you are planning to have a relaxing sitting-around-the-pool kinda of vacation. If you have already booked activities like parasailing or rockclimbing you might want to re think it. Ultimately whatever decision you and DW make will be the right decision for you two this month.


Anna: Good thoughts to you and your lady in tww time. That is great that DP has such consistent trends on her fertility chart.


Essenbee: So I remember brownish stuff you describe one time around implantation time. I have heard that it is possible to implant later in the tww. fingers crossed for you.


AFM: So at CD1 and I get the privilege of moving myself to the "waiting to O" club--Possibly in about two weeks I will be insemming with KD's shipped fresh sperm for the first time. We'll see. I have an RE appt in the morning to just check in. I haven't see her for about 5 mths and in that time I have only tried Prometrium on two occasions. No other drugs, except for a natural supplement called Wobezyme that I don't think she have much to say about.  I will talk to her about this possible screwy month with my temps. Hopefully the consult will be productive.



As we move into mid week, I hope everyone's day tomorrow is filled with at least one or two moments of recognizable joy. We all deserve this.

post #80 of 325
Another BFN this morning and a full blown AF... greensad.gif
**Move me to Waiting to O please?

We will be trying again this cycle, hoping the OV tests are more conclusive than last cycle, but we will also be relying more on body signals.

I'm at work right now, so can't write much, but I'll try to stop by later on.
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