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Queer, Pregnant and Parenting January, February and March 2012

32K views 744 replies 51 participants last post by  DesertSunsets 
#1 ·
Welcome queer, pregnant and parenting folks!

This is the list for January, February and March.

If you want to be added, just post in bold with your due date. Also, if you have recently had your babe(s), please chime in with the name and birth date in bold. If your information is not correct or has changed, please also post in bold so that I can get it corrected!!

Pregnant

March 2012
AmyFemme and DP, EDD March 10
Onemommyonemama, EDD March 14

Mama1Mama2, EDD March 31

April 2012
Prettyisa, EDD April 10

May 2012
Ad Astra, EDD May 15
Smilingsara and Seraf, EDD May 16

June 2012
PleasantlyFurious

KSDoulaMama - surrogate mama

MumQuest, EDD June 5
SwtRainbowBrite

July 2012
Go_Vegan

August 2012
DesertSunsets, EDD August 30

September 2012

Vienna

Planet, EDD September 30

October 2012

Dandylez, EDD October 2

MidwifeStephPDX, EDD late October

November 2012

MujerMamaMismo, EDD 11/11/12

Graduates

Qmama42, baby girl, born 1/18/2012

Indigo and DP, baby girl A, born 1/8/2012
CrystalPerez, Cohen Anthony Perez born 12/12/11
Mami2mami, Layla Janae born 11/22/11
DAWNMP1, Raya Sylvan, born 11/10/11
2ezforyou, Jagger Stone, born 11/2/11
Seraf and SmilingSara: Shay Brock, born 11/1/11
Escher: Son, born 10/24/11
Julietea8: Rowan Kathryn, born 10/16/11
Starling&Diesel: Hawksley Solace, born 10/2/11
AmyPDX: Alexander Cole, born 8/7/11
AmandaHope: Lilah Nyx, born 7/24/11
Pigirl: Son, born 7/22/11
Mizyellow: Harrison, born 7/20/11
Painefaria: Keegan, born 5/23/11
Cejae: Emmerson and Parker, born 5/22/11
Imogenlily: Soloman Dov, born 5/3/11
2HappyMamas: Baby, born 4/16/11
Bttrflygypsy: Elliot Graham, born 4/15/11
LibraryLady: Alice Meredith, born 4/8/11
Wehrli & jenmostoften: Silas Scott, born 4/4/11
Gumshoegirl007: Addison Alexis RĂ©al, born 3/24/11
Beastie: Esther, born 3/13/11
Burg: Reed Kylie, born 2/05/11
Korey: Baby girl T, born 1/30/11
Coco99: Chloe and Charlie, born 1/30/11
Abeecharmer: Twin girls, born 1/10/11
Mtnlisa: Josie Anne, born 12/18/10
Kimlyn32: Kacey Elaine, born 12/13/10
Erthe_mama & fsonj: Vida, born 11/23/10
Monarchgrrl: Sophia Elizabeth, born 11/2/10
Quasar & Smartycat: Charles Jeffery, born 10/29/10
Mistral: Olivia Grace, born 10/18/10
Lyndzies: Cadence James, born 10/15/10
FTMPapa: Elise Ember Soliel, born 10/3/10
Megan_sacha: Zivia Littlewood, born 8/23/10
Mpkgoddess: Catherine Margaret (Cate), born 8/18/10
Osker & H: daughter, born 8/11/10
Jjnoho: Sam, born 7/8/10
Megincl & Ktcl: Wylie Grace, born 7/4/10
Ksdoulamama: Grace Elizabeth, born 5/17/10
Pleasantlyfurious: Leo Sebastian, born 5/16/10
Kelly: Asa Brent, born 4/29/10
Wishin'&hopin': Henry, born 4/10
Indigoscot: son, born 1/24/10
Kjm: Kale, born 1/12/10
Carmen358: Skylar, born 12/30/09
Kelmendi: Simon, born 12/23/09
Babyfatty: Henry Earl, born 12/9/09
Beth: Hazel, born 11/19/09
Scalpel: Nathan Fisher & Maxwell Edward, born 11/3/09
Denny_Zoo29: Dekaylee May Katherine Bond, born 10/29/09.
Jodybird511: Asher, born 10/9/09
Wazzmum: Tate, born 9/15/09
Raene & River: Cedar, born 8/30/09
DM630: Amelia, born 8/14/09
Ninefirefly: daughter, born 7/31/09
Serenekitten: Asher, born 7/21/09
QTRANDI: Rudy, born 7/7/09
JennM1021: Alexander, born 6/29/09
Lexbeach & Lena: Leo, born 6/26/09
Heart-N-Bones: Ella Grace, born 4/22/09
Quasar & Smartycat: Raymond Joseph, born 4/5/09
Pranava: Zion, born 3/24/09
Giggleblue: "A", born 3/16/09
Pigirl: Baby, born 1/30/09
Starling and Diesel: Esme, born 1/30/09
2happymamas: Colette (Coco), born 1/5/09
Simcon: G, born 12/28/08
MujerMamaMismo: Sebastian Felix, born 12/21/08
Tigermiep & M: Anders Xavier, born 12/11/08
JenInMpls & Jo: E.W., born 10/24/08
Becca: Phoebe Joy, born 10/9/08
Scalpel & Darcie: Alexis Jean, born 8/29/08
Venustx: Levi, Sage, and Jillian, born 8/12/08
AngelaM: Ocean Rae, born 8/10/08
Mamimapster: Jocheved (Julia) Hadassah Bat Sara V' Miriam, born 7/15/08
Kk_davey: Grier, born 7/7/08
MollyKenzie: Lucy & Edie, born 6/18/08
Rightkindofme: Shanna Francesca, born 5/24/08
TheGirls: Alexandra Kathryn Stay, born on 5/12/08
Thismama: Zelda, born 5/6/08
Mamastotwo: son & daughter, born 5/2/08
Msjodi: Delaney Cait, born 5/1/08
Jentina & Sarah: Ellis Thomas, born 2/20/08
NZmumof2 & Leah: Florence, born 1/23/08

Recovering from Losses, to Rejoin Us Soon

TineyDreams

Carmen

Alphahen

Baby.fatty
Lisedea
Kgulbransen
Fivegrandbaby

[NOTE: Any EDDs over a month old without a birth announcement will be deleted.]
 
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#3 ·
Welcome to the world, little Cohen!

What a wild ride, Crystal ... I'm so glad that both you and your baby are okay!

Thanks for the shiny new thread, Sara!

Great to hear from you, 2ez! Love the pictures. Adorable. Totally adorable.

QOTD: Snowshoeing! Whoo hoo! And going to the beach. And lots of indoor crafts.
 
#4 ·
I'm pumping and getting ready for work. We worked on the bottle quite a bit yesterday with very little success. He did take it once for me so I know he can do it. And I know he will swallow milk with the syringe. I just hope he doesn't think I abandoned him and doesn't make Sara crazy. Oh, and I hope I don't leak all over myself. Haha. Quite a few new year resolutions I guess.

Have a wonderful start to the new year everyone.
 
#5 ·
happy new year everyone!!

welcome to the world cohen!!! yay for babies!!!! :)

thanks for the shiny new thread. :) yes, we are still pregnant. no, she is not showing any signs of coming, lol!!

yesterday dp had acupuncture (whole bunch of stim needles) and her doc showed me where to stim her ear. her pregnancy pulse is still extremely strong so she thinks babe still has a few days to go (her initial date guess was Jan 3). dp's sister, dad, neice and nephew stopped by on their way home from detroit and her sister tried to sing the baby out. it was freaking hilarious and i should have taped her!!! alas, it did not work. dp is also taking epo.

sooo, we are officially in BABYWATCH 2012 mode! play along folks! our next ob appt is on tuesday. i'm back to work but dp is done. she'll be hanging at home resting and relaxing. :)

g
 
#6 ·
First day home without Sara. The morning started with lots of smiles and he latched onto the bottle with no problems at all! He isn't thrilled to stop moving but other than that and a leaky bum we are doing alright. Thankfully grandma is home today so she has been a big help! Tuesday shall be interesting. Thankfully we havenetflix for during naps!
 
#7 ·
Happy New Year ladies!

Indigo - I am betting on Jan 4. :)

Starling - Snowshoeing? I am soooooo jealous! I want snow. Fat chance of it last for more than a couple hours in the south. In fact, today it's already 54 F. Grrrr!

Sara - Hang in there momma, and welcome home!

Escher - I think I ma have missed the announcement, but what is your little guys name?

AFU - I am pretty sure someone has a milk hangover today...

Jagger New Year
 
#8 ·
Happy New Year, Everyone!

I'm sorry that I'm not very good at posting on here these days. I read along regularly, and I enjoy seeing all your updates!

2ez: What a cutie! Aren't they darling when they are milk drunk?

Indigo: How exciting that you now know you're having a 2012 baby! I'll bet that she will arrive January 6.

QOTD: Drink lots of warm tea inside.
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Crystal: Congratulations! What an adventure! Welcome to the world Cohen!

Seraf: How do you decide when to pass your baby to someone who wants to visit with him and when to keep him on your lap? We're struggling with that. Playing pass the baby clearly overwhelms our baby, but we also want to let important people (grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc.) hold him sometimes. Any thoughts on that? Thanks!

Isa: I can't believe you're already 25 weeks. Wow! Only a few more months now!

OMOM: Wow--third trimester already? I found eating lots of protein helpful throughout the pregnancy, including in the third trimester. Chiropractic care was helpful when things got painful towards the end. I read a lot of books on baby care (sleep, breastfeeding, etc.), and they helped me stay excited about meeting the baby. I regularly made lists of both what I would miss when I wasn't pregnant anymore and what I was looking forward to about not being pregnant, and I found that useful in helping me appreciate the fun parts of the third trimester. Good luck!

AFM: He's nine weeks old now. Time is passing so quickly, but I'm trying to enjoy every bit as much as I can. He is starting to gain a bit more control over his hands and feet, and he likes to bat and kick at things. He seems less able now than before to push himself up during tummy time--his pediatrician says that is because his head is heavier. Hopefully his neck muscles catch up soon! Sleeping is going well, although frequently he would be thrilled to get up for the day at 3 or 4am and we have to work hard to convince him to sleep for a few more hours. We're still having a lot of fun with him.
A couple of times recently we've run into the idea that maybe we, as two moms, will need help (from men) to successfully raise a boy. It's frustrating to me, and somehow unexpected. I guess I should have known that there is the societal idea that a boy needs a father, but somehow I hadn't focused on that at all during pregnancy. I agree that he'll need males in his life (just like I think he needs people of different ages, races, religions, etc. in his life), but it feels like people are implying more than just "it takes a village." I'm reading Raising Boys without Men, which seems possibly useful. Any other suggestions on things to read/think about/say? Thanks.
 
#9 ·
Queer, pregnant and parenting! I kinda feel like there's a new place for me here!!!

Crystal - Welcome to the world Cohen! What an adventurous birth your wee one had. I cannot help when looking at the pictures of you and DP to think how young you look. Then I look at your ages. Then I think of how young I look in pictures (um, I think around the median of you and DP, say 25-ish) and laugh cause people must think the same thing about me all the time with the baby. And it's even funnier when I have my 16 and 14 year old in tow. Here's to hoping we both age equally as young!

Starling - So great to see the photos of you snowshoeing. Now that we finally have snow here, I hope to get out with the baby. I want to rediscover cross country skiing. Only I'm not sure if it's a good idea for a novice skier to wear a baby and I don't have a chariot. Thoughts?

Seraf and Sara - I hope that your first day back at work/first day alone with Shay is going remarkably well.

Indigo - I'm guessing January 7 on babywatch! As a fellow Capricorn (Jan 9) I've got high hopes for this baby!

2ez - Jagger is so cute! I dig the hat.

Escher - 9 weeks already! Where did the time go? On raising boys, we're on the same page as you. After a while, people have just stopped asking the male role model/influence question. Maybe because they're tired, or maybe because when we ask what will our son get from a man/dad figure that he's not already getting from us they can't think of anything. Our son, however, as he ages has felt a need for more testosterone in his life. We began sending him to an all boys summer camp and he found that space alone will all boys outside of his entirely female household a welcome break. I think the hardest part about not having a man in the house for him is all of the lesbian processing! He certainly does express when he's had enough talking about things.

AFU - The baby turned 9 months on Christmas Eve and the past few weeks have been a developmental explosion in our house. She's all dee-di-da, ba-ba-ba, me-ma-mum-mum-ma, and va-va and giggles and screams. A. now knows who the people are in the family by name (notably the dog, her brother and sister, but not so much Mom and Mama) and mistletoe. Yeah, our DD hung some mistletoe in a doorway and every time you'd stand under it and say "mistletoe" the baby would look up and point and we'd cover her in kisses. She's also just learning how to wave bye and hi and gets it right on cue most of the time. The best part is that she loves music and dances when she hears it from her toys or when DS or DD play it aloud - she bounces and bops along.

She's not hands and needs crawling yet, and I think we're not likely to get there or get there for long. She loves the commando crawl. She can't get into a sitting position on her own yet, and I was wondering how she'd ever get into standing on her own as she loves to stand. She finally developed the upper body strength last week to use furniture to pull herself onto her knees and she stands up from there. She can also go from sitting, onto her knees when there is furniture in front of her, and goes to standing from there. This also has meant that she's a cruising machine.

We also hit a breaking point on the sleeping front and had to make some big changes. While it's a snap to put this kid to sleep, A. was waking every hour for the first 3-4 hours, and then waking up every 1-2 hours all night long to nurse. I'm going back to work in 3 months and we didn't want to have to deal with sleep and daycare changes all at the same time. I also felt that A. was finally ready for a new change now that her separation anxiety has considerably lessened. So we're sleep training our baby AP style! Tonight will be night 4 and I cannot believe how good it's going so far (knock on wood, cause I know I'm going to be dammed for writing this!).

We've reset her sleep associations and changed it up on her. After Christmas we consistently made sure she was taking her 2 daily naps in the pack n' play. One day, I had fed her 30 minutes before her nap and put her down without nursing. I would lay her on her side, sing a lullaby to her, and let her play with my fingers. She was out with me singing the song twice! (I really wish I had been more thoughtful in choosing a lullaby 9 months ago cause I sick of the mockingbird song). Then at night I was also able to put her to sleep without nursing (she'd nurse and when she popped off awake I'd transfer her over) and repeat the routine above, adding in a dark room only lit with a nightlight and a fan for white noise. Then at night we committed to not picking her up or nursing her back to sleep for 3 or 4 hours. We'd just sing, let her play with our hands, give her the binky and rub her back until she fell asleep. She would fuss and cry a little mostly because I wouldn't pick her up (when we had tried something similar at 6 months and 8, it was only twice, she screamed bloody murder for an hour and then I gave up). Since I was consciously timing her feeds, I could correctly guess whether she was hungry or just needed some help getting back to sleep.

The first night went well, but we had lots of waking up and two periods where it took 1-1.5 hours to get her back to sleep. The second night, she only woke up 5 or so times, and was only difficult to soothe back to sleep once, and last night she woke up a grand total of 3 times! Two times to eat and once where it took me less than one lullaby to get her back to sleep. The best part was that the hourly waking in the first part of the night seems to be over now. I'm hoping to get her to do a dream feed at 10:30 or 11:00 pm before we turn in for the night and move her from her pack n' play to our bed and then another feed around 3:00 - 4:00 am and then up for the day at 7:00 am. There's that elusive sleeping through the night (a glorious 5 hours) that maybe we'll one day try to achieve, but we're nowhere near that yet!

I write all of this in detail 'cause I know so many of us were/are at sleep breaking points and were wondering if there was any baby who could sleep without nursing. So I think we've done it, and while these new sleep associations have helped, I think the key to success was a shift in the baby and we intuitively knew she was ready.

Without further ado, here's a few pics of our cutiepie (I guess I should post more frequently cause I apparently had a lot to say!)

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And if you really want a sense of her personality, here's a video of her laughing. I think it's hysterical, but it's 2 minutes watching my kid!
 
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#10 ·
Quote:
She's not hands and needs crawling yet, and I think we're not likely to get there or get there for long. She loves the commando crawl. She can't get into a sitting position on her own yet, and I was wondering how she'd ever get into standing on her own as she loves to stand. She finally developed the upper body strength last week to use furniture to pull herself onto her knees and she stands up from there. She can also go from sitting, onto her knees when there is furniture in front of her, and goes to standing from there. This also has meant that she's a cruising machine.
I could have wrote this word for word (except the she would be he)! yay for cruising babies! Addi is so dang adorable... I loved the video! we truly seem to be doppelgänger mamas.... our dogs even have the same colorings/markings!

crystal, congrats on the safe arrival of Cohen! awesome name... love it! hope you are all home as I type this!

indigo, my bets are on the 5th... I hope DP stays comfortable until labor and avoids induction. ELVs to her! can't wait to see the news!

Sara, I'm so glad to see (on FB) that S took a bottle! yay!

Seraf, I hope your first day back is going well and quickly! I miss Shay for you!
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Escher, glad to hear from you! I'm going to check out that book! thx for posting about it!

2ez, I love seeing pics of Jagger! though I see very little resemblance,
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, it's still neat. plus he is CUTE!

starling, pics please?
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afu, I will post later from my PC (rather than my iPad) with pics.
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happy new year!
 
#11 ·
Gumshoe- love the pics and the update!!..OMG the video is too funny she's adorable!!!

Sara- glad to hear Shay is taking the bottle today and your day is going well. I also love this new thread where we can all continue to be a part of past and upcoming pregnancies.

2ez- love the pic of Jagger and his milk hangover! Aren't they just the cutest lil babies after a good feed?

Seraf- How did your first day away from your fam go?

Wehrli- pics?

Library-How was your hoilday? pics?

KellySF-How are you? Are you lurking? Is the baby here yet?

Cyrstal- posted on the last thread to you, don't know if you seen it. Welcome to your lil man Cohen

indigo -
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#12 ·
Hey all!! SOOO far behind, but I took a bit of a holiday from the computer, which was nice in and of itself. I missed you ladies (and all your news!!) and thought of you on all the significant days. I'll probably not get to all the personals, but I know a few must happen, most especially:

Crystal! WELCOME!!!!!!! to your little fella!! What a story!!! I'm so glad everyone's doing well, and I love his name!!

Indigo~ So exciting!! Babywatch!! Sorry you don't get your tax break this year, but at least you'll soon have your little girl xo

Sara~ Welcome home! And yikes yikes for your scare. Glad all is well. And hooray for boys!!!

Lots of little cuties, actually! I'm loving all the photos. I'll post a few of our to my Granny's house~ I've not even downloaded anything from my own camera yet!! It's been a pretty decent holiday. I'm so happy not to be at work, and to be home hanging out with Alice and DP. There's been a lot of familyness, but other than that it's mostly relaxing. Alice is so near to crawling, it won't be much longer now. She's also been requesting and enjoying time just sitting on her own and playing with her toys, which she's never wanted before ever, so that's progress. We're also getting into a better bedtime routine, which is working for her, and a bit liberating for me I must say. She's also babbling more, with lots of Ma ma ma ma ma going on in there. Others say she looks for me when she says it, but since she looks around the room and says it while I'm holding her, I remain skeptical... Still, as with the crawling, I'll bet it's not long now. She also tries to stand on her own~ she holds onto my hands to stand, but then lets go and I have to grab her quick! She had a great Christmas~ lots of books, including a Pride and Prejudice board book for babies. Who knew! I was so tickled when I found it.

Sorry I've been so out of the loop. I love the new thread and will be much more on top of things. Missing you all. Happy 2012!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
#15 ·
First day of work was ok. They want me back full time, as I expected. The guy I work with was thrilled to pieces to see me again. I didn't enjoy pumping or 5 hours of hellfire and brimstone on TV, but it was generally a fine day.

2ez, What a cutie.

Escher, I feel like family is important. I also feel like no one wants to hold a screaming baby. With the first 2, I was quick to rescue them when they seemed stressed. They are pretty shy kids. Which came first? Cant really say. S has more tolerance, is it because he is a calmer kid or because I am calmer about it? Not sure. Now that the holidays are over there is much less passing the baby going on, but he still gets passed to O and A quite often. He doesn't always dig it, but I feel like I want him to be more flexible than they were (and I have things to do, if a kid asks if they can hold him and I really need to get something out of the oven, S doesn't have much say in it). I try to do it more when he is either sleeping or in a good mood and chances of success are higher. I try to encourage positions where I know he will be more comfortable (up on the shoulder or bouncing on a knee). I will try to talk or sing to him if he looks displeased before I take him back.

On the boy thing, we gave it a lot of thought before O was born. I had a lot of ready answers, I have 2 brothers, we each have a father, lots of uncles and cousins-they are more of a warning than an example), but really, you have to lock a boy in the closet and never let him read or watch TV to keep the men away. We really like O. I think he is coming along nicely. He is a little quirky, but I get the feeling that he would have most of those quirks with or without a dad. Talking to my own dad brought me to that conclusion, strangely. I have had several conversations about this with O. Once he expressed that he had a dad, me.
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He has lots of men in his life, none on a daily basis. The men in his life are mostly sweet, gentle, hippie type guys. I may actually be butcher than some. There are certain times I have him call my brother, mostly automotive related. But really, no one says anything about having men around to raise a girl. What's the difference? Strong, healthy people have more in common than not. Of course we are now looking at a whole house of boys.

I felt the baby kick!!!

Gumshoe, I agree, writing all that detail is great. What a cutie.

Wehrli, looking forward to pics.

Library, glad you had a good vacation. Alice is charming as ever. Did your DP get her perfect Christmas?

AmandaHope, hope you're continuing to enjoy Fl.

here are a couple of videos from this morning. Cooing and walking.



 
#16 ·
some pics as promised...
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christmas grouches (even Silas is wearing oscar socks)
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showing off Packers scarf from Grandma and Grandpa
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getting into the opening of gifts at Grandma and Grandpa's
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sock monkey jack-in-the-box from Grams and Pops
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opening a gift at Grams and Pops
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#17 ·
Wehrli~ Alice has the same sock-monkey in a box!!! She loves it! A friend of mine's kid had a jack in the box and she kept asking to 'put the doll back in the oven'. Your fella's such a cutie! And as a Christmas Grouch myself, I do approve.

Sara~ Your li'l fella's a cutie too. DP's Christmas was as perfect as I can make it, so make of that what you will.

Back in MeanGirlVille and not happy about it. Ugh. AND it's freezing cold in the library. And I strained my back getting out of the car. So I'm a grump today, I guess. Time for more coffee!!
 
#19 ·
Love love love all of the pictures! We had a great trip to visit family. Taking the overnight train is much easier than driving, but let me tell you, pregnancy insomnia does not help the sleeping situation. We arrived at about 6:30 this morning and I went straight to bed. DW and DD are napping now. I try to stay away from caffeine while I'm pregnant, but I had a frozen coffee drink when I woke up and it has alleviated my exhaustion headache and as a bonus, helped the er... digestive tract. I feel a lot better but can't wait for a full night of sleep in my bed!

Christmas was a little dramatic as DW's grandfather (AGAIN) failed to acknowledge my presence at our family gathering or our daughter either. It is so incredibly mean of him. He writes everyone a card (and check) each year and he never puts my name on the one he gives to DW. DW's brother was married a year and a half after us and his wife is, of course, always included. This is our fourth year as a married couple at Christmas and I despise the way that he and his wife feel it is okay to treat family members like they are nothing- especially a child. I mean, really- how can ignoring a child and failing to share Christmas in the way that you do with all the other children do anything except make them feel unwanted, unloved, and somehow undeserving of general kindness? How can that possibly be a good thing? There was confrontation this year (no scene, DW spoke to them outside as they were leaving) because I am sick of being treated like that and angry that all of the family members actually tell me that I should just put up with his behavior because he is old. I understand he is old (though not THAT old), but by accepting the behavior they are all basically telling him it's okay and telling me that it's okay for me to be treated so horribly. Luckily DW's one aunt and uncle are in total agreement with us and are one of the few in the family willing to stand up to him. I am glad it didn't come to the point where I had to be the one to step in and say something, but it was thiiiiiiiiis close. I figured I'm already seen as nothing to him, so I couldn't go any lower on his list! But having the support of the rest of the family is very much preferable to me. My father in law (who NEVER gets involved in stuff like this) even told me he's going to give him a call and tell him he finds his behavior totally unacceptable and pointlessly mean. The real test, I guess, will be next Christmas when we see him next, but hopefully in a year's time he will have come around. All we request is that DD and I are given the courtesy of anyone else in the family- including being greeted when we see them, not ignored or brushed off in conversation, and acknowledgment in gift/card giving. (Obviously it's not about the actual gifts, just the general courtesy of being included, especially for DD who WILL begin to notice soon. Poor thing made him a card this year and handed it to him and he kind of grunted thank you and would not even look at her! We have historically given him gifts and he always gives each child something nice, so that's the family's tradition which we feel the right to be included in.) I am just sick of waiting for him to come around- four years and nothing so far, so I'm hoping that DW's aunt is successful in getting him to at least give us some courtesy, even if he doesn't actually want to. She told me privately that if he fails to at least treat us in a friendly manner that she has no qualms about telling him he's unwelcome at family gatherings that we attend. Not that I want to be the cause of family drama... but it's nice to finally have the support of the rest of the family (who have always been great aside from this issue) even if DW's grandfather continues to be an a**. Ugh, done with that rant, but I know some people here will understand.

Anyway, we are finally home. DD had a great Christmas and was loaded up with gifts- most lovely. Some obnoxious, pointless, and noisy. The two sets of grandparents spoiled her, but she got lots of great books, a sit and spin, a Duplo set, a wooden shapes puzzle, a musical instrument set, a wooden car ramp, a child-sized broom (because she loves to sweep!) and a couple of outfits. And from my mom, a loud talking "laptop" which she can actually receive email on (I KNOW, CRAZY) and a Sing a ma Jig. Just look it up. My mom does not understand the meaning of open-ended toys that grow with children sometimes. Haha... oh well...

SmilingSara- Somehow I must have been overlooked, but would you mind adding me to due in June 2012? Perhaps you could mark in some way that this is a surrogate pregnancy. :) Thanks!

QOTD- I reallllly wanted to ice skate on new year's eve but thought better of it with my baby bump, haha! Especially since I'm prone to falling superman style on my belly on the ice. That would not have been at all pleasant for me and probably not terribly safe for the babe either!!! Haha. Mostly I hate the cold weather though, so I sit inside staying warm and cooking. I work for an after school program though, so I'm outside every day with the kids for an hour or so and I can get my sunlight fix- important since I have seasonal affective disorder. Keeping up with the kids keeps me warm enough. :)

Also.... WELCOME COHEN and congrats Crystal. Hope you are able to enjoy these early days with your little one. They go by so fast. I'll have to go check the old thread and catch up!
 
#20 ·
KS--Hugs to you. It is so awful to be excluded and his behavior is totally unacceptable. I'm sorry that you and DD have been caught up in the drama. I hope that he will come around quickly or that he will get a taste of what he has been dishing out. There is no place for homophobia and it is even worse when a child is in the middle of it. Anyway, youir post struck a chord with me and I wanted to let you know that I feel for you.

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#21 ·
Quote:
Originally Posted by KSDoulaMama View Post

so I'm hoping that DW's aunt is successful in getting him to at least give us some courtesy, even if he doesn't actually want to. She told me privately that if he fails to at least treat us in a friendly manner that she has no qualms about telling him he's unwelcome at family gatherings that we attend.
I don't know if you listen to Dan Savage's podcast, but he's pointed out on SEVERAL occasions that the acceptance of our families has become much more common place, and that it's the people who still discriminate against us who will be ejected from family gatherings, not us queers and our spouses and offspring. It's not drama-causing, he's doing a lot of this all by himself. Replace sexuality with skin colour, religion, country of origin and work it through your head. Would he reject you and your daughter if she were mixed race, or if you were a different religion than him? If the answer is no, you guys have some serious pondering to do. If you talk to DW's family and they all make you welcome and won't put up with his shit, then EVERYONE needs to put their foot down and tell him to change his attitude or he's not welcome.

The podcast I listened to the other day actually underlined this multiple times. The time for us to feel apologetic for being who we are (the "oh, well I've come out and that's enough drama in the family and I'm just going to let people walk all over me because I feel guilty for putting my family through my coming out") is over. You and DW have *nothing* to be sorry for, you have a wonderful daughter and are raising her to be a respectable citizen of this planet. Queer parents as a whole are better parents than non-queer parents, simply because we have to put so much energy into our family-rearing. Chin up! You have ever right to be at Christmas dinner and to be treated with respect (the whole "oh, just ignore him, he's old" excuse is bullshit and you need to squash that. It's another excuse for hateful, bigoted behaviour.)

Your family is awesome sauce, just like the rest of your kinspeople. The flip side is that if DD starts to realize how terrible it feels to be left out, she may reconsider doing hurtful things to others down the line.

Cheers!!

Annd uhh... sorry for the rant, but this kind of situation bugs the snot out of me (although I'm sure it bugs you more!!).
 
#22 ·
KS-sorry you got over looked! you have been added to the list!!

Day 2 of baby shay and mama time is winding to a close. He is asleep in bed and I'm sure happy to be there! Today we drove to town and got papers for Sara that she needed for work and then took them to her. He slept the whole time and through giving the papers so we decided not to wake him to nurse. We then went to play at a friends house with her 2.5 year old little boy. The little guy was so cute with the baby. I tried to heat him up a bottle and instead of heating water in a mug in the mircowave and pouring it into the thermos like we normally do, I just put the thermos into the microwave and melted the entire inside of it. I stunk up my friends kitchen and the baby was a bit grumpy he had to wait even longer for milk. Oops!

Here's a picture of the little dude growing inside me. Sara doesn't think it looks much like a baby, but I do!

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#23 ·
Hello to everyone ...

KSdoula ... I feel so badly for your daughter, and you. When I was about ten, I was at my step-grandparents' house for Christmas. They'd been my 'grandparents' since I was four, so as good as any authentic bio grandparents in my books. I was reading their family bible (I was weird that way) and flipped to the family tree page at the beginning, and was horrified, crushed and so saddened that I wasn't on it, even though my father had adopted my stepmom's son years before and there were kids listed on it younger than me. It forever hurt me, and tainted my relationship with them. Exclusion is one of the most painful, ever lasting kinds of hurt. I'm sorry that cantankerous grump was so set on being mean and foul.

Sara! Look at that little bean just a cookin' away in your cozy belly!

Hmm, I'll have to go back later and check the other page to do more personals.

Wehrli ... Where on earth did you get that scrumptious child??? And how did he get so big???

Seraf ... I can't quite imagine being back at work. How is it going? Are you enjoying it?

Gumshoe ... Did you get your delicious little one at the same Cute Baby store as Wehrli? Gorgeous pictures. You're a talented photographer. My daughter loved the video. So cute! And she does have the same laugh as you!

Crystal ... How are you and wee Cohen?

As for me, we're doing great. Slept through New Years, and are back to our usual routine, which is not much of a routine. Our goal this year is to connect with the local homelearners and start to make friends who are not going to school, because most of E's peers are heading to preschool this year. She turns three at the end of the month, and has asked for a monster cake, so I need to make a plan for that. With strawberry icing and sharp teeth! Yee haw! Hawksley is so awesome these days. I adore his smiles and his lovely self.

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#24 ·
Morning all! Checkin in with y'all regularly is the best part about being back at work.

KS~ Big hugs from me too about the awful family ignunce. I've always been lucky and I'm going to count myself even luckier after reading about the troubles you had. Not even acknowledging you or the kiddo? Awful. I'm glad you're home in your bed and enjoyed your coffee! And be safe in the knowledge that you're a much better person and are raising much better people for the world.

Starling~ Such great photos! Your kids are so gorgeous. Your daughter's got lovely hair and such intelligence in her eyes. And your li'l fella~ what a face!!! (I love the necklace too!) The picture of the two of them smiling at each other is wonderful. Can't wait to see pix of the monster cake!

What else? Who else? I'm totally bleary this morning, having awakened at 3:30. Between my snotty nose, Alice's snotty nose, my back pain (it was only a matter of time before my 'getting up off the floor' muscles gave out), DP's nightmares/sleep talking and three complainy cats I just lay there wide awake. I'm loading up on the coffee now, but it's going to be a long day.
 
#25 ·
Good morning! Finally feels like winter here.

KS, boo to family drama. That is flat out rude. It doesn't matter who they are, if a kid shows up there will be a gift. Cousin's new girlfriend's kid? Check. Son of mom's boyfriend's daughter's friend who didn't have anyplace to go for the holiday? Check. It's just common courtesy AND in the spirit of the season. I personally don't make a lot of waves. It took until A was born for her mama's grandmother to talk to me, but I was tickled pink when she came around. I would probably pack an extra gift for my kids if I knew there was a risk of them being empty handed at gift opening time and feeling slighted. Hugs, I know it's hard to have someone's unkindness be "justified" by others, especially when it involves our children.

Starling, beautiful photos. His smile really is great. I'm doing ok at work. It helps that they like me do much and it's a very low stress job. Pumping, letting down and leaking at inconvenient times are a hassle. I know Shay is in good hands. And he is a pretty chill baby, so I know he isn't beating Sara up, too bad. It was great to see how much more interactive they are with each other since spending a couple of says together.

Library, boo to the sniffles. We have them here, too. Snarf snarf snarf all night long.
 
#26 ·
qmama- Thanks for the support.
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smilingsara- Thanks for adding me. I think your baby looks very much like a baby, haha. I always think the pictures they take are less cool than actually getting to see the movement on the screen. So happy for you!

starling- You are right. It is the exclusion that bothers me. The old guy has every right to his own beliefs about homosexuality, however horrendous I think they are... but just because you don't agree with the way a person is living their life does NOT give you the right to pretend they don't exist. I mean, even if he just sees me as DW's "friend" as he claims to, I still deserve the common courtesy of being included in the group. I mean, come on! Since when is it normal to ignore a family friend, not even saying hello and goodbye?! Obviously acknowledging my presence makes him feel uncomfortable (I guess because he knows he is being mean and can't face dealing with that fact.) Sigh. I'll get over it, but boy does he make me mad! By the way, your kids are ridiculously cute. You must just die every day of cuteness overload!

library- We are battling the sniffles too! Hope it clears up fast- Mine seems to be worse than the rest of the family due to my weakened immune system (pregnancy is just soooo lovely sometimes... blah.)

seraf- You know, part of the reason why I've waited four years to say anything is because of our daughter. I thought for sure that he and his wife would come around once there was a real, actual baby in the picture. So many people have become more open now that we have a little one- who can resist a cute baby? The first year of our marriage was also our first year together. We had a small legal wedding and I was very new to the family- I wasn't sure he even knew who I was. Ironically, he was the most courteous to me that year. The second year was the Christmas after our large formal wedding (which he refused to go to and actually COMPLAINED that no family was going to be in town on that particular day to celebrate Father's Day with him because they were all at the wedding!) That year we were pregnant and he and his wife walked out on the party when DW and I pulled out the ultrasound video to show everyone. The third year we had a 7 month old. No dice. Ignored as usual. Now this year, the fourth year, he was rude as ever, specifically avoiding me and blowing off DD. I was furious. We gave him time (because I don't like making waves either) but at some point you just have to stick up for yourself and your family, I think. I guess this was the year.

Allison- Thank you so much. I do want to mention that I know I didn't actually cause the problem in this case. However, I think when you're new in a family, being the one to stir things up, even when justified, is a very delicate territory. That's what I was getting at.

Okay.... so I'm just going to put all of this behind me until next year I guess and try and be less irritated at DW's grandfather. On to a new year!

AFM- Today has been a lovely day. DW is at work, but I don't have to go back until tomorrow. DD and I have just been hanging out at home together. We both have colds and don't want to be around other people, and also I want to stay rested up so we can all go to the zoo once DW is out of work at 3:30 or so. So far I've gotten my hand-me-down bread machine to work properly (which it didn't the first time I tried,) put a pot of soup in the crockpot for dinner, and I'm actually working on laundry. And the dishes are even clean! I am so glad that the first trimester is behind me and the worst of the nausea and exhaustion are gone. I CAN NOT BELIEVE that I am well in my second trimester now- 16 weeks on Friday! This pregnancy is going by so incredibly fast... :)
 
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