Bajingo Babies in the New Year: Having Baby #1 in Our 30's, Winter 2012 - Page 2

[ericaf]

Hope all had a great New Year's... nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww get ready to here me bitch and whine.

Ahemmm.

I feel like CRAP! I don't know what the heck is "normal" and what isn't anymore. I keep getting paranoyed flashes of how I felt before my miscarriage (major headache which in turn made me feel nauseous and super cranky), and I'm freaking myself out. Yesterday all day I was so dizzy and felt like I was going to pass out. I got my bp taken, 99/65. Well, no wonder. Then the headache started (and is still loving me up currently. Grrr.) So I called my ob/gyn just in case, and those losers told me that I need to go to my primary for an evaluation. Really?! Because my PRIMARY knows anything?!  I don't even know what to do with myself. And I started hysterically crying last night to my husband that I don't want to have another miscarriage and I don't want my dog to die (he's 5 and absolutely fine). Hi. Mental case. Right here. So all in all, my ailments are... clearly emotional, headache, dizzy, exhausted, nausea intermittently, bloated basically only where my uterus would be (not my belly), sore boob, starting to pee a lot, hating my digestive track, okay... now I want to cry again. Wahhh!!! I'm only 5 weeks, 3 days. Should I really be such a mental case right now?

Someone talk me off a ledge here. And please let me know what you think about my ob/gyn referring me to my PRIMARY for my bp and headache?

caly: Since my mastectomy and reconstruction surgery... I've learned quiteeee a bit about boobs and bras. Do yourself a favor, and go get measured. Nordstrom's was awesome. After my surgeries I got measured at a 32DD. If you saw me, you'd think I look like a B. Before my surgery I had always worn a 36A. Not even in the REALM of what I should have been wearing. You don't have to buy any of the bras there either if you don't want. Just get measured. The ladies were awesome for me. I ordered a lot on eBay too, believe it or not. (PS. Do NOT get measured at Victoria's Secret. Awful, just AWFUL. I wear the bras, but they can't size for crapola)

ramzubo: Love the bump! And I'm jealous cause I just feel like a chub-a-lub with tight ill fitting jeans now. Lol.

boots: Let's just go cry in a closet somewhere together. Cause that's what I'm ready for today. And if it makes you feel any better... I'm 20 m-effing-lbs heavier than I was when I diagnosed with breast cancer. I can't even blame it on chemo! And I WAS doing zumba 2x a week, but now my Dr said to hold off until I see her so I just feel like a total load. Sighhhhhh.

I told you guys I'd be whining and bitchy. You were forewarned. Lol.

[bootsvalentine]

Erica, Ugh!

Okay, we could go ON about how doctors suck, but here's what I'm thinking. I HATE that the world functions like this, but I think that since it's still so early your OB basically barely considers you pregnant. I think it's going to be AWKWARD if your regular doc is like, oh hello, you're pregnant, did you call your OB? But the important thing is that you go get checked out. I do think it's odd. I would think they would want to verify your progesterone levels are still all right and stuff, and your betas, but maybe because there's "nothing they can do" at this point, like I said, you're just not pregnant enough, at least according to this practice. It just sucks.

What you describe emotionally is certainly not odd for me lately, but I am kind of an unmedicated mental patient, for realsies. :D

Sooooo, are you going to call your primary care doc? You need to be seen by someone. Take some (F-ing useless) Tylenol and make sure you're hydrated and try to relax as much as possible. I don't mean like, hey, become all suddenly zen and crap but physically try to relax your body as much as possible.

Gotta call. Later you can discuss with your OB why they wouldn't see you (possibly anything to do with being a cancer survivor?) and decide if you want to hate them forever.

[ericaf]

Boots: Grrr. Just GRRRRRRRRR. My ob/gyn just seems like they refer you to someone else for EVERYTHING. Remember when I was trying to get prego and was talking about my progesterone levels with them and possibly being low, they said they wouldn't even prescribe it for me, and said they would refer me to an RE! Seriously people?! I think they really just can't handle anything. My Mom has an appt today with a ob/gyn Dr who I wanted to switch to anyway, and she told me I could have her appt. She's gonna call now and see if that's okay. I just don't really feel comfortable being shoved off to my Primary who knows nothing about pregnancy and/or babies. I was talking to my cousin (the 5 months preggie one with her 2nd bebe) and she said "Absolutely not. Your ob/gyn IS your new primary. They're your go to for everything. THEY should be helping you." And that's how I feel. I'm honestly not even "worried" for some reason, but I know I feel like crap... so if it's something with my bp that I should be doing, then I want to make sure I'm doing it. I didn take Tylenol which helped a teensy bit. I know ob/gyn's don't like to see you before like 10-12 weeks normally, but as is our case... they help us NOW. F*ckers. Grrr. Oh! And I told you I did use one of these bad boys... and it said my HCG was over the 10,000 mark which is right on for how my last betas were (especially that this is urine, and it takes longer to show up in urine than in a blood test) http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/detectfive-progressive-pregnancy-test.html

[LilyTiger]

Erica, I had massive headaches and some wooziness (I have pretty low bp in general) for the first few weeks.  It does get better.  It does totally suck though.  I drank a ton of water, which helped a little with the headaches and then just slept for like four weeks.

I also called my doctor early because I had had a low progesterone reading around the time of ovulation, and she told me she didn't even think I had ovulated (well, that wasn't true, obviously).  I was worried that if I had low progesterone she would want to do something.  She responded that there's actually no concrete evidence that progesterone supplements help prevent miscarriage, so she didn't think any more testing was necessary.  I think there is a point when it's so early that not much can be done either way.  I don't even see my doc for the first time until Thursday, and I'll be almost 10 weeks.  ARGH!  At any rate, I trust her and I really trust my primary doc, so I would follows Boots' advice and just go to your regular doc.  You'll probably just be told that your blood volume is all whacked and it's effecting your head and bp.  Then you can sleep for four weeks until your OB appointment.  That's how I rocked it!  Good luck!

[andaluza]

Hi ladies. I´m on a short strict break from work, but I wanted to say: Erica, if your ob won´t see you, all regular physicians have had some ob training, so he or she should be able to help you. I hope you feel better soon!

And boots, I hope you can take advantage of having a few more days off from work (if I read correctly) to find some good mental health care. 

[Hykue]

nak

ram - lovely bump, lovely room!

caly - i started out at a 34A and i'm now a 34DD.  near the end of my preg i was a 34B or C (i don't remember).  I read sizing info that said to expect to gain one cup size during pregnancy and another one in the first weeks nursing, but i blew that outta the water.  As for good support, one of the ladies in my ddc recommended Anita bras.  There are other good recs too in this thread.

[bootsvalentine]

Erica, Yay, Mom to the rescue! I think it's a great idea to go ahead and switch to another OB, because you're right, they seem too gunshy at your current one and who needs that. I wish you could go home, too. I am home, I wish I could give you one of my days off :) Glad the fancy pee sticks were able to ease your mind a bit.

So I'm going in today for my first appointment with my new OB practice. As a review, I decided to switch after my previous doc a. made me try for 17 months without trying clomid b. told me clomid wouldn't work c. had to be reminded of everything about me by me including tests she needed to do, couldn't be arsed to read my chart. This appointment will be with the nurse and then I can choose which doc I want. I really wasn't expecting to go today, I have only had about four hours of sleep or less, maybe I can catch a nap before I go at 3, but since they had the appointment I figured I better take it and not try to work it in while I am working. There will be plenty of that, I'm sure.

I get nervous every time I go to a new doc and think they are going to be really judgmental about my weight but really I have not experienced it yet so please keep your fingers crossed for me.

[ericaf]

Thanks, Lily. That's kind of what I'm thinking. Everything I've read said that the low bp and dizzyness are normal early on. My OB just seemed to think it was that normal THIS early on. But I told her that my body is ultra ulta sensitive. I noticed a difference in my body when I switched fish oil vitamins to a better quality brand for god sakes. Like really? Lol. My Mom just called her ob and told them the whole situation, and they want me to come in tonight. I'm kinda surprised they said yes?! My current ob now has me scheduled to go in on 1/9 (I'll be 6 weeks 2 days then) and was going to have me go for an early ultrasound because of my m/c in August... so I hope this new person lets me do the same! I'll report back after tonight. Gahhhh. Like we need any more stress.

[Calycanth]

Sounds like many of us are having a crummy day today.  Can I join the party?

Erica, what is and isn't "normal" during early pregnancy varies a lot from woman to woman. I know that headaches can be a response to the increased levels of progesterone in your body, and all of the other stuff you mentioned sounds like run-of-the-mill morning sickness/hormonal craziness to me. I felt horrible (dizziness, nausea, and exhaustion so bad that I couldn't eat or get out of bed, bloating, cramps, and my blood pressure was low) starting around 5 weeks, and and I'm just now (at 15w3d!) starting to feel semi-normal again. Still, with your medical history, I'd want to see a doctor, and I'm glad you were able to get in with your mom's OB.

Bootsie, I'm sorry you're struggling.  I'm so glad you were able to get in with your new OB practice today. Might as well jump right in! And I really hope they're body positive and treat you as well as you deserve to be treated. Perhaps they'll have some information for you regarding the best way to handle your depression, or maybe they can refer you to a psychiatrist who specializes in prenatal issues and can give you some sound advice about treatment. No Netflix access while on vacation...that's not cool. How are you supposed to veg properly without Netflix? That's the only access we have to television, too, other than the local stations (last summer, I bought a $10 antenna that does a great job picking those puppies up). 

Thanks all for the bra advice. I get sized every couple of years but haven't since I got pregnant, so it would probably be a good idea to do that before I spend any money on new bras.

Ugh, I had a crappy day at work today. The people I'm supposed to be managing don't take me seriously, probably because they've all be there for like 10 years and I'm still too new to be of much use to anyone. They're also very gossipy (I know gossip is par for the course in any workplace, but seriously, I've never seen anything like this), cliquey, and disgruntled. I was expecting more of a team mentality and I'm so disappointed. DH is on the academic job market this year, and I really hope he gets a job so we can get the hell out of here. Anyway, sorry for the tangent, I just needed to vent.

[LilyTiger]

Calycanth, what kind of academia is your husband in?  I'm in the liberal arts.  I wish you both the best of luck!  Academic job hunting is the worst.  I hope to never write another teaching philosophy statement again.

I had a rough, rough day.  Massive nausea and an emotional breakdown over a broken vacuum that culminated in sobbing when my husband brought home the wrong tortilla.  Yikes.  I'm giving today a miss and heading to bed.  Good luck to all the mamas struggling with depression, sore boobs, and unhelpful doctors.  I can see the second trimester in the distance, and boy, does it look good (right?). 

[ericaf]

That'ssss baby F up in there! Nowwww, I'm more than relieved. Lol. She wants me back in two weeks to hear the heartbeat (eee!) and she took about 900 viles of blood from me to check for every genetic whatever and to again check my progesterone, hcg, blood type, rh factor, all that crap. Holy crap it was a lot of blood! I liked this Dr a lot. Glad I decided to go!! She told me everything I was feeling was normal. Anddd that my "cervix looks great!" Ummm... good to know! Haha. I think I really just feel better about getting this ultrasound because with my m/c when they did, I was about as far as I am now... and there was nothing to be seen. No baby, no nada. So this makes me feel AWESOME. And she said everything looked exactly as it was supposed to for 5 weeks and 3 days! Yeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!! Oh. And because of my breast cancer history, and what I'd told her about spotting before my period, andddd what my progesterone levels were at CD21 and after my 2nd beta, she gave me progesterone gel to use. Crinone it's called. Anyone ever used that? I'm nervous. She said it's just as a precautionary, and when my bloodtests come back, if my progesterone is okay... I'll stop taking it. Why am I nervous to use this stuff. Meh. But, but, but... BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! I could barf with excitement. Or just barf. Or sleep. Or both simultaneously. Lol.

[Ramzubo]

Tank: Yep that's my whale wet bag, I just bought the fabric and made it myself.

Calpurnia Congrats!

Caly: My crib's from Ikea it was like $70! It was actually light unfinished wood and we stained it to match the rest of our furniture. Sorry your work is being a pain, you'd think by now adults could work together without acting like a bunch of highschoolers.

Boots: Good luck with the new Docs!

Erica: Yay for baby u/s!!! Also my bp has been really low for most of the pregnancy. In the first trimester I passed out once at the docs office. I guess its ok to refer you to a primary doc for the bp since it may not be pregnancy related, but no one referred me (and it was lower than yours some days). FWIW I switched over to a family practice and they seem very knowledgeable about pregnancies without being OBs.

To everyone else out there!

My docs aren't really stuck on due dates, but they're going with Jan 26th based on baby's size. That's 22 more days and I just don't have much room left in there. It's become impossible to sit down without reclining. I'm afraid I'm going to snap his foot or he's going to snap my rib if I'm bent over. I'm packing my hospital bag because I just don't see how he can stay in there till the end of the month.

[RosieL]

Time to play lots of catch up!

Caly - Thanks for the new thread! I had boob/bra issues over the weekend. I have two trusty bras whose cups kind of expand with the boob, just from stretching. They're very supportive but still have some give. I put on a strapless and went out to a NYE party without a thought. It was AGONY. Thankfully I had a change of clothes (we were staying the night). Then I looked at the fit I must have been two cups sizes off. Boob everywhere but in the cup. UGH!!! No strapless bra wearing for the rest of this pregnancy/breastfeeding relationship, I guess. I'm not looking forward to the transition to wireless bras…but I'll cross that bridge in a little while. :(

How's the job market in your DH's field? Is he looking across the country? I'm so apprehensive of the job market when it comes to be my turn. Trying to be open to anywhere is really nerve-wracking for me, but it's the best career strategy. Sorry for the work woes. Maybe they'll warm up soon enough, or you'll find strategies that work for managing this group. Are you their people manager or their work manager, or both? 

Ram - You look SO CUTE with your beautiful bump, skirt, and crib nook. How did you paint and refinish floors with that bump! You must be more limber than I am. At 27 weeks (right after a growth spurt), I'm in pain bending over. I think it's uterus soreness for the recent burst in size, but still…

I'm happy for you ladies going in for your first USs. If you're comfortable, post up US pics! I love peeking at our babies in utero. (I just realized that I'm far back in the thread and you guys have probably already posted…)

Congrats calpurnia!!! 

Hi Boots. Mood dips suck. Suck suck suck. This week started with me being angry and sad at the world. I took it out on DH, really hating everything he did for me and wanting him to go away. It was horrible. But it passed. I hope this swing passes quickly for you too. I thought there was a "fluffy mamas" thread going on in the I'm Pregnant forum somewhere??? Got any good books lying around to pass the time sans TV? I'm struggling to find novels I want to read…keep coming to non-fiction preggo stuff and need something else! Good luck with your OB appointment today. I really hope you find a great match.

ericaf - You sound so…pregnant. Heheehee. I hope that's all it is. I had some dizzy fainting spells early but it is best to get it checked out if you feel "off". Sorry your OB didn't take you seriously or know what to do. That's really frustrating. I agree with your cousin, your OB should see you for everything right now. So glad you found a good new one, that she's taking an active role in your care, and that you got to see your little bean!!!!

Hi Hykue!

AFM, well I've had a week. Really, truly serious setbacks in research which suck, and I was a fire-breathing monster to my DH on Monday. We had traveled all weekend, been to a party NYE, and our traveling was with a friend. I love our friend, but when we got home Sunday I wanted him out of the house! Monday I woke up and he was still there (because he would be working all day with my DH on the cars, which is totally awesome). I wanted to KILL! Tuesday I calmed down and just tried to focus on work. That worked for a while, but eventually my sneezing and nose-dripping got the better of me. At the end of the day I had two REALLY ANNOYING episodes of what I have heard about, but not yet experienced. Sneeze-pee. It goes like this: you sneeze, and a little pee comes out. EW! I was so annoyed at this. I was hoping this would be a pregnancy effect I could pass by. I guess I'd take this over MS, but UGH I'm still gonna complain about it.

[RosieL]

Whoops, I missed Ram's post while posting mine. Your baby is less than a month from being on the outside! OMG!!!! Very exciting. :) 

I also found two other things I wanted to mention, because they're fun and lots of you have this to look forward to. Yesterday Odin kicked my hands off the keyboard multiple times. My wrists were resting on my belly while typing and he was kicking in the perfect spot to jolt me off my laptop. Silly and crazy...these are the strongest kicks so far. The other thing is this morning I woke up to a over-sized softball on the top right of my belly. It had to be his head or his butt. I had DH put a hand there, and he flipped to the other side while DH was feeling him! It was a really cool experience for DH. Not just a kick but a whole big, very obvious movement across my belly. Hehee

[LivingSky]

Calycanth and boots - I wore a 40G before pregnancy, so ya, pregnancy bust size was a big issue for me too. I went to my local, really great bra shop and unfortunately I let them talk me into getting a few underwire bras that could be converted into nursing bras. WRONG. Underwire bras are a problem when nursing and really weren't comfortable before babe was born either, when my boobs were sore. What I eventually did was go to Walmart and buy a whole bunch of cheap sports bras. At $15 for three, I just threw the stupid things out whenever they got too stretched to give good support. Wasteful but at least I was comfy. Also, I bought a Bravado nursing bra - http://www.bravadodesigns.com/shop/the-original-nursing-bra which is relatively comfy and not too expensive. I do find the band on it to be a little bit itchy, but it gives very good support and has the benefit of being a nursing bra once babe arrives.

ericaf - YAY FOR SEEING BABY! I'm glad this new OB took your concerns seriously. I really hate health care practitioners who don't listen to what we tell them. I know they're the experts, but really, we know what's normal in our body and what's not better than they do.

Ramzubo - Oh man, I remember that feeling. 36 weeks was about when I felt DONE too! Lots of rest, lots of reclining, and be gentle with yourself until babe arrives!

RosieL - one word for ya - pantyliners. Cuz ya, the sneeze-pee sucks!

Hope everyone has a great day!!

Oh - someone asked about my doula studies. I'm scheduled to take the course starting in May - which should be interesting because I go back to my regular work in April. But I'll make it happen!

[andaluza]

So much going on here! Sorry to those who had yucky days yesterday and I hope today is going smoother. The bra talk is going in my notes. So far I've visibly grown, but bras still fit. However, I am having another spurt of soreness, so I'm sure more growth is on the way. I'm not starting that that much, though, so we'll see where this takes me.

Boots, I hope the meeting with the new ob practice went well! And that you caught up on your sleep! I am finally getting up earlier, but I thought for a while I'd be unable to get out of bed before 9 am.

Calycanth, that stinks about your office. I hope your dh finds a great academic position in an area you guys enjoy and where you can find a great position. We had to move to a part of the country off our radar because of a job, but it's working out. It was a much better professional fit than the other jobs offered.

How wonderful to see that everything is on track, Erica! And how fortunate that you could take your mom's appointment and it worked out with your insurance. I have my u/s tomorrow at 8w 2 days and can't wait! I expect I'll be sent for the blood draws, too, since we haven't done that yet. 

Ramzubo, wow, how wonderful that you are so close and so prepared! I hope your discomfort is minimal in the next few weeks.

Rosie, sorry about your research troubles and how irritated you felt. Your anecdotes about body and baby movement are pretty interesting and amazing, though! Definitely things I've heard about but still seem impossible to me.

AFM, just waiting for tomorrow, trying to focus on work the rest of the day.Also trying to think positively and not let myself second guess every little thing. And I think that it doesn't necessarily get any easier, which is slightly terrifying.

I missed taking last week's 7w photo and took one yesterday after lunch, so I was looking pretty bloated in my pic. I am trying to combine the series in some sort of elegant way, but I just have the windows paint program at my disposal. It's funny because weeks 4 and 6 I took my pics before breakfast and weeks 5 and 8 in the middle of the day, and 5 definitely looks closer to 8 than 6. I think I need to do it more consistently at one time of day.

To those who are working: when did you tell your employer/supervisor? Do I wait until week 12 is over? We start planning for the fall really soon here (and I don't want to have to give that person a false schedule) and I also have a progress review in late Jan/early Feb, It would be perfect if I could tell at the review because I could frame the status of my current project in the context of the due date and leave. And it seems like that will be around week 12/13. Or, should I avoid discussing it in the context of a review (it's pretty informal, though).

[Hykue]

Andaluza - the second guessing actually does get better, or at least it did for me.  It didn't go away, but it did get better.

Rosie - Hi to you too!  I just signed up for Goodreads - they give recommendations based on books you've liked in the past.  I've heard good things about it.  Maybe that could help you find good novels?  And I found that kegels helped with sneeze-pee, unless I had no warning of the impending sneeze.  If I felt it coming on, I would do a kegel before the sneeze started and that almost always stopped the squirt.

Tear - thanks for the picture of your lovely girl!

Caly - sorry about sucky work, but I'm glad you're starting to feel better.

Ram - I had that unable to bend over thing starting at about four months in.  It made gardening really hard.  and putting on socks.

AFM - Raven is sleeping upstairs with her daddy right now!  That doesn't happen very much, he usually does nights for me but then she's usually awake and on me all day.  (Or napping on me).  She's been sleeping reasonably well, usually at least a three or four hour stretch every night, sometimes two that long, once in a while three!  And she slept five hours straight a couple of nights ago.  She smiles and laughs at us, and she figured out yesterday that if she kicks her feet when she's in the bouncy chair, it makes the toys on the rail jingle.  She was very excited, and I was pleased to see her figuring out cause and effect for the first time (or the first time that I saw, anyway).  For the first time since I was pregnant I've been feeling a little down, and the other night she wouldn't take my boob so I pumped so I could go to sleep, and my mama instincts were NOT HAPPY that I handed off my crying baby to someone else.  And I tried to express that to my husband and he didn't understand that I just wanted sympathy and so we got in a big huge argument.  It was awful.  We're okay now, but that sucked.  Anyway, I thought that it must just be a hint of postpartum hormones messing with me, especially because I've been having weird dreams too . . . but it turns out that it was actually because I was getting sick.  I have weird dreams when I'm sick, and I get grumpy and need sympathy, and besides that I've had obvious lower gastro issues which I won't detail.  At my "six-week" appointment yesterday (which was actually at two months) the doctor said there's a gastro virus going around.  She even mentioned a weird stabbing pain under the ribs, which I've been having and wouldn't have thought was related!  I'm glad there's an explanation for all of that, and it's not my new normal.

I'm starting to hope Raven wakes up soon, I don't want to have to pump this morning . . . I'm going to go watch her sleep for a bit now.

[bootsvalentine]

Caly, you know how I feel about sucky coworkers. Grrr. Well, as you said, hopefully this is only a temporary job and you can look forward to moving somewhere cool.

Rosie, the NP told me my mood should even out after the first trimester, guess not? I was a bit suspicious of that anyway. I know the hormones will be surging through my blood less, but yeah. Poor husbands. I yell a lot too.

Hykue, I love goodreads! I have all my students on it, and a separate account for my classroom library. It's actually really awesome, they have an android app that let me scan all my books in my classroom (1200 of them!) and now I can keep track much better. Enjoy! Have you been able to read much since Raven was born?

LIvingsky, I swear I got the same three pack of bras at Walmart for sleeping in! My only issue is that I find soft cup bras with two cups less painful than a uniboob tube, when I'm sleeping on my side it kind of keeps the top one from squishing the bottom one.

Ram, thanks! I told my principal at 6 weeks. I wasn't planning on it but I missed a day unexpectedly and my evil freaking coworker was telling everyone how irresponsible I was and how mad he was. I got a text from another coworker about it. So I called him and he was great. I totally played up the "it's really early and we don't know if everything's okay" angle, and then when I got back to work he came and gave me a hug. Haha, snotty coworker, haha! Sounds like during the review would be a good time.

So, the appointment yesterday was okay. I only got to meet with the nurse practitioner and she did a full exam and updated my pap and all that crap. I was so nervous and the stupid gown wouldn't close over my boobs and I was almost in tears over that before she came in. It was pretty standard and I had to make the decisions about genetic testing, etc. I opted for just the NT scan. I'm not really anti-genetic testing but I don't even know my insurance benefits and I didn't want to mess with it. My blood pressure was a little high but it always is at the stupid gyno. So anyway, I don't really know a lot more about that practice than I did before. I should be meeting my doctor at my 12 week appointment. I have to figure out a list of questions to ask to see if I think this is the right practice for me. It also pissed me off that by the time I was done, the lab woman said she was closed (even though she was sitting there). So I have to go back. I was supposed to go back today but I slept soooo much, which was good. They told me I could take sudafed and I swear that is the best sleep I've had since I found out I was pregnant.

So February 2nd is my 12 week appointment and NT scan.

Also, they told me that my insurance requires a referral for pregnancy (even though I've been told before that you never need a referral to an OBGYN with an HMO) so I have to take care of that.

Thankfully, huz took the hard drive out of one computer and put it in to the other and I have netflix/internet. I also need to get some lesson planning and crap done, so I was really worried to not have a computer. Yay, now I get to do work.

[RosieL]

Thanks for the goodreads recommendation. I am exploring it! 

boots - If I wasn't pregnant that weekend of travel would have probably made me grumpy. And, like Hykue, I'm also sick, so that could have been part of the lead-up. But the pregnant hormones seem to make the emotions more vivid, and me less able to see that they're caused by crank and grump, rather than actually being caused by my husband. Does that make any sense? It's like I'm re-learning myself and my swings in this "new normal."

Sounds like nothing great, nothing horrible about the new OB office. Sucks about the lab closure (shouldn't they anticipate that and have you draw labs first?), and need for a referral, but at least you didn't get the "Run away, quickly!" vibe from them off the bat. 

Hykue - Glad you figured out where the unhappiness was coming from. Sucks to go through it, regardless of why/how. Sorry you're sick. Sick and pregnant sucks. Sick and caring for a newborn must be much worse. :( 

[calpurnia7]

Originally Posted by bootsvalentine 

Ugh, I've hit another valley with my mood. It was fine when I was just mopey but my self esteem is eroding and I need to talk to someone about treating depression asap. I'm struggling with body image, can't see myself posting any "bump" pictures. Fat women carry their pregnancies so differently, I thought I was prepared for that but I'm not. I'm having trouble finding plus size pregnancy peers and thinking of starting a group or thread here. Both of our laptops are busted right now and that's our only access to netflix /tv). And I'm still on break all week)

Sorry to hear that you're not feeling good about yourself - I'm glad that you're reaching out to find a network of positive energy and support, that's really important.  Continue to take care of yourself, eat healthy, and try to get safe exercise.  That in and of itself will help your mood and give you better rest.