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Bajingo Babies in the New Year: Having Baby #1 in Our 30's, Winter 2012 - Page 20

post #381 of 492

I was actually feeling better emotionally this week until I went to see the stupid nurse practitioner an hour ago. I'm really starting to wonder if this is the right practice for me. I made an appointment for two reasons, 1. the antibiotics (flagyl) they gave me for my asymptomatic BV detected in a week 8 pap ruined my digestion and I stopped taking them. I thought there was a gel version but she didn't even mention it, just said to monitor my symptoms. 2. I was worried about my stress level and I was hoping someone could at least give me a measuring stick, like "okay if you can't stop crying for two days, then maybe you need to consider going back on meds" but she just sort of passed that off the on the doc. All I got out of this is that she had me reschedule with my doctor (to meet her for the first time) next week instead of in two weeks. I could've done that over the phone. The other thing I got out of this is a lecture about why I haven't done the glucose test yet. I was already crying from talking about my stress level (She was really weird when I started crying, so weird I felt like I had to say "sorry" and she ignored that, and didn't offer me a tissue.) My initial appointment was with her at 8 weeks, and she said they'd probably want to do it early. Then my 12 week appointment was with another doctor, whom I really didn't click with but just asked me about when they were thinking of doing it and I said, "I don't know, at some point," and she moved on. Because the NP never told me when to schedule it and nobody ever called and said "now!" Now she acted offended because I said I wanted to wait and discuss it with the doctor, she was like "What are your concerns?" and I told her (Even though I didn't really want to discuss it because I was already upset) and she gave her answers to my concerns and then (seriously) said "Then you can talk to the doctor about the glucose test if you still don't believe me." WTF, lady.

Also, my blood pressure has been high every time I go there but I really don't know if it's legitimate or just my anxiety about this whole provider situation. I didn't have HBP at my pulmonologist.

She told me to get a cuff and start taking my BP.

I would also like to point out that during my first visit with her she complained about breaking a nail. Then this time when we were listening to the baby's heartbeat she was like "It's all for him or her" and I just hated that, it was like we had no rapport going and she then tried to be reassuring and almost patronizing. She kept saying "the baby sounds good" or whatever, but excuse me I am actually (for once) not worried about the baby in the short term, I am here because I am having trouble coping and you won't even hand me a fucking tissue.

Now I feel like crying because I just don't know if I am going to be able to find any other practice that doesn't suck. I left my last OBGYN when she told me clomid wouldn't help, then after going through the whole fertility clinic process, I got pregnant my first month on clomid. 

I haven't even met this doctor. But I'm not sure how I feel about anything anymore. I am so behind on thinking about birth choices and such, but I just left that office feeling like "I really want to know who is going to deliver my baby." I know that with hospital births you can't always have that, and I thought this practice would work because it would be one of only three female doctors, but now I don't know.

post #382 of 492
Thread Starter 

God, Boots, that NP sounds horrible! hug2.gif I would have felt so demoralized coming out of that appointment. I know you feel like you're behind, but you're only a third of the way through your pregnancy. You have time to find another doctor if you're not comfortable with this practice, and you have plenty of time to figure out what kind of birth you want. Some people interview several doctors (you can call and request a consultation) to see if they click with them before they settle on a provider, and there are a number of women on MDC who switched practices in their second or even third trimester. Remember that your doctors work for you. You should feel better, not worse, when you leave their office. Also, Flagyl does come in a gel form.

 

Sparrows, thanks for the link! I've never been present for a birth either, and honestly, I'm terrified. I'll check it out this weekend.

post #383 of 492

Boots, I responded on our DDC, but I think you should switch!  Douche-bag NPs are a bad sign of other problems in the practice, to be honest.  My first meeting with the nurse at 6 weeks resulted in her discussing miscarriage rates with me and saying, "If it's going to happen, it will happen in the next two weeks".  Thanks lady... you're a real f-ing peach.  I knew that, of course, but I didn't need to hear it again from some bitchy nurse.  Like I don't have enough to be insane about right now.

 

You might have a lot more luck with a family care doc or a small practice.  But I already sent you an epic response elsewhere, so I'll shut it.  Hope you feel better about everything soon!

post #384 of 492
Oh boots, that's awful! I would have been FURIOUS - well actually, I am furious, for you. You do still have time to change practices and if I were you I definitely would. You deserve to have a health care provider that makes you feel safe and comfortable and like everything is under control. They should make you feel that your concerns are important, not belittle and ignore them. You are dealing with enough stress that the last thing you need is MORE coming from the people who are supposed to be helping you!

Big hug.gif from Canada!
post #385 of 492

Thanks sisters! :) I talked with huz last night and I realized that seriously, even if I LOVE the doctor I meet at this practice next week, I've already met and not liked 50% of their care providers, and it's likely that any short notice/emergency type visits would be handled by the NP, as well as anything post-birth like well-woman care. Ugh, I could stand with not seeing this woman again.

It is still early and everything has been totally normal despite all the "risk factors" due to my weight. I'm sick of talking about slightly high blood pressure when I'm always upset when I'm in their office.

So I am going to call a practice that is just one female doc that I was interested in initially and see if I can get a consultation. I am not sure what to expect at a consultation (just talking, no vitals, etc?) But I really am getting bad vibes from this place, and I think I underestimated how important to me it would be to know my doc would most likely be at my birth. As I said I have a ton of birth decisions still to make and I don't feel like my current practice will allow me choice or support in making them.

 

Ugh, now if only I had a spare minute in the day to make these calls. That is one thing that sucks about teaching. Everywhere assumes you can talk or call when you never can, and closes over lunch. I think the solo obgyn practice closes early today so I might have to step outside and try to make a call.

 

Happy Friday!

 

post #386 of 492

Oh, Boots. What a jerkstore, that NP. I would absolutely change in a heartbeat!! I know it's not the same, but... when I was choosing all my Dr's for the whole breast cancer drama... I found an Oncologist and Plastic Surgeon pretty easily and was very comfortable and happy with them. My breast surgeon on the other hand? Took me 6 Dr's, 3 hospitals, and 2 states to find. I just kept going for consultations until I felt comfortable with the person. And you do you wanna know how quickly I was comfy with her? 5 minutes. Done. And from that whole experience? I really truly believe, that when you feel comfortable and safe with a Dr... the whole process is just SO much easier and has a better flow. I know they're all entirely different Dr's and scenarios from an OB, but it's really the same concept. I think you know in your gut this place just ain't right for you. Don't stress that you don't have time to call, or that you feel you're too far into your pregnancy to work it out... because you WILL. You know when I found my breast surgeon? A week before my mastectomy. A week before $100k of boob issues was gonna go down. Yeah, scary and a bit stressful... but I wouldn't take it back for the WORLD. I love that woman, and how she made me feel and it made all the difference in the world. You need to feel safe, listened to, and happy. And you'll absolutely know when you find that. Try your very best to be open and forthcoming with your Dr. If you don't feel you're being listened to or being hurried, push back on them. You're the patient. You (and baby) are what's important, and you are badgers advocate... so fight if you have to, for both of you. I really feel like you're going to find a balance soon. Honest to blog. Xo.

post #387 of 492

Boots- so sorry you are dealing with this- in my first pregnancy- I was assigned to a PA.  I was kind of weird about it because I have good insurance I think it was just who I was assigned to when I went in for a pap years earlier.  I only got to meet my OB when I was 3 months.  She was terrible and my PA was weird and super quiet.  I never liked them and feel like I got substandard care- I just did not know- I was lucky enough to work with a therapist who has been in the birthing community for like 30 years and she reached out to her community so I could find a Dr that was compassionate who does high risk pregnancies- I have had 2 losses, one in the 2nd trimester.  - so I really could not use a midwife.  I find that referrals by the birth community work really well come to find out my OB is like supreme rockstar as far as the birthing community is concerned and they get rave reviews on YELP.  

 

I looked up Arizona birth community and found this:

 

http://www.azbirthnetwork.com/providerdatabase.htm

 

there aren't any OBs listed but I would suggest calling a birth educator or dual in your area to get a recommendation for an OB that can handle a "high risk" - that is just a generic term for anything other than normal circumstances- they should have referrals- 

 

I hope you appointment with the lady goes well if not here was a little food for though about what worked for me- you deserve individualized compassionate holistic care that deals with you, your needs, your concerns as well as the babies.

 

Best of luck- when you get a better fit- like I did- it feels so much better and you can star anew and you will be glad you did!

 

grouphug.gif

post #388 of 492
Quote:

Originally Posted by 2sweetsparrows View Post

I grew curious as to the way it works- as I have never attended a birth- I never saw my mother or friends give birth- my only reference on birth is movies.  I began thinking- like all other things in nature and science there is probably a general pattern about it and you can kind of predict the way it will go- besides variances like breech- or cord issues or any other issues that are unexpected- but by and large normal births are somewhat similar.  So I dove in.  I found a great set of birth videos.  Wow- I am really glad I watched them because I think it has taken some of the secret mystique out of that time and what it looks like.  I feel a bit more comfortable with the process- here is the link of the site I used- 

 

http://yourbirthcoach.com/videos-of-birth-video-of-birth-best-birth-prenatal-class-childbirth-course-natural-birthing-water-birth-videos-unaasited-videos-of-birth-home-birth-video-hospital-video-of-birth/

 

Some might find them difficult to watch but I can say I think these are well done- so take a look if this interests you- let me know what you think- of those of us who have yet to do it is so exciting and scary and weird- haha.  

A woman after my own heart. Procrastination from research via other kinds of research. And I love the approach you took. HEeeehe
 

 

post #389 of 492
Quote:
Originally Posted by bootsvalentine View Post

Thanks sisters! :) I talked with huz last night and I realized that seriously, even if I LOVE the doctor I meet at this practice next week, I've already met and not liked 50% of their care providers, and it's likely that any short notice/emergency type visits would be handled by the NP, as well as anything post-birth like well-woman care. Ugh, I could stand with not seeing this woman again.

It is still early and everything has been totally normal despite all the "risk factors" due to my weight. I'm sick of talking about slightly high blood pressure when I'm always upset when I'm in their office.

So I am going to call a practice that is just one female doc that I was interested in initially and see if I can get a consultation. I am not sure what to expect at a consultation (just talking, no vitals, etc?) But I really am getting bad vibes from this place, and I think I underestimated how important to me it would be to know my doc would most likely be at my birth. As I said I have a ton of birth decisions still to make and I don't feel like my current practice will allow me choice or support in making them.

 

Ugh, now if only I had a spare minute in the day to make these calls. That is one thing that sucks about teaching. Everywhere assumes you can talk or call when you never can, and closes over lunch. I think the solo obgyn practice closes early today so I might have to step outside and try to make a call.

 

Happy Friday!

 


Okay so I know this isn't going to help specifically, but I'm in the 4th re-writing of a paper that looks at how the lowest-quality doctors still can have just-fine online reviews, and how IMPOSSIBLY DIFFICULT (technical term) it is to find a competent, helpful doctor in the absence of quality information. The beginning of the title (that yes, I fully plan on submitting) is "Lipstick on Pigs?" 

 

Your NP was a pig and sucked. I'm really glad you're gonna look around for a better fit. <3 n' hugs, Bootsie.

post #390 of 492

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Edited by birdie.lee - 5/9/13 at 7:54am
post #391 of 492
Pretty quiet here! Hope everyone is doing well. We got good news today-- they tested dh for over 90 of the cystic fibrosis mutations and he's clear. We still don't know the other results from the materniT21 test; maybe next week. Feeling good, but my stomach feels more squished. Small meals from now on.
post #392 of 492

andaluza, great news!!!  It must have been tough waiting for the results.  Glad you pulled through and everything looks good.   And yes, massive stomach squished-ness started this week.  I ate a little too much Indian food at lunch and am still uncomfortable 8 hours later.

post #393 of 492

Anzaluza- great news- because of my losses we had a carotype blood test- well my dh never went because I got pregnant and everything looks good so far.  They are nerve racking! 

 

I also have to eat tiny meals- and I forget.  I start eating and (I love love food) so I gear up to eat as usual- I don't eat huge amounts but for instance I can eat a whole BLT.  I sit down to eat and eat about 5 bites and am uncomfortable- yet feel hungry!  It takes me by surprise every time. I eat little snacks all day then for dinner I attempt eating a meal and that is when the "oh yeah" thing comes- and I am ONLY 10 weeks!

 

I have also been trying to keep things moving if you know what I mean so I am sure to eat an apple, a banana and carrots and juice.  It is getting a bit better since I have became more aware of the necessity of the fruits.  

 

I am making my 12.5 week NT scan can't wait to see that baby- my DDC has been drama- I understand the drama but did not think that this place would get like that- are your DDC's argumentative?  We had a full on lash out- it was no good.  

 

My mom is coming out to stay with me- that should be nice as I really do not have family in the area- she will come out for three weeks or so when the baby is due then my aunt wants to help out and said she will stay in a hotel.  I am a little nervous because I feel like we watch a bit too much TV for her (we watch a lot of news and not THAT much other programing)- she has never owned a TV- the last thing I want to feel when I am having my baby moon is to feel judged.  I will probably be so busy with baby I won't even notice the television :)

 

I had three good days where I thought the nausea was going to give me a break and we made it to the beach and aquarium and I even had a fancy dinner.  Than to my disdain and surprise that train came right back and I had the worst day I have had yet.  Kind of funny though- I was starting to worry I was loosing the baby due to my subsiding symptoms- but NO NO NO!!!  They are there makin mama SICK!

 

So back on modified bed rest- if I get up I throw up- I hope hope the relief comes back I am so tired of being sick and tired.

 

 

sleepytime.gif

 

What are the rest of you ladies up to this week- seems quite.

 

 

post #394 of 492
Thread Starter 

Andaluza, what terrific news! I feel like doing a happy dance for you!

 

Sparrows, glad you had a few good days but sorry to hear you've gone back to bed. How great that your mom will be there to help you when the baby is born! My mom is coming to stay with me for a couple of weeks in May while DH is in Alaska (I told her it was unnecessary, but she's worried about preterm labor). DH will be back June 1 and will have to return to AK in August, and both my parents are planning to come at that time. Life would be so much easier is we lived closer to our families!

 

I've been in the squished stomach phase for a while now. I find it pretty annoying, and I don't manage it very well. I can't eat at my desk at work, and it can be hard to find time to step away for a snack. If I eat a big meal I feel sick for hours afterwards. I'm sure it's going to get worse before it gets better. I can't wait for baby to vacate that space so I can start filling it with food again.

 

I met the last of the three midwives in my practice on Monday. I really liked her, much more than the others, so I hope she'll be the one to attend the birth. She was a little concerned about my slow weight gain but seemed reassured when I told her that I am, in fact, eating. The baby is measuring right on target and her heartbeat is nice and strong.

 

Okay, let's get this Wednesday over with. eyesroll.gif

post #395 of 492

Andaluza, I'm happy for you! I am noticing some decrease in appetite, too. also my upper tummy seems harder, someone said it's the "intestinal bump" since baby is still pretty low. EW. How's your little avocado? Any flutters yet? I still haven't felt anything, really, but I do feel where the baby is, since HB seems to refuse to leave my left side.

 

Sparrows, I'm really sorry you're sick again. The worst weeks for me were weeks 9-13, by far. Even 14 was a little iffy. At 16 weeks the nausea is pretty much gone, just sometimes situational.

Take good care of yourself and grow a good strong placenta which the baby needs but you will be so happy it's there, too! :)

 

Lily, have you looked at those diagrams about what the stomach looks like in month 9? Like a pancake? How will we survive? :) I wanted to thank you again (I hope I did the first time) for your awesome support in my quest to switch providers.

 

Caly, I am so glad you found a midwife you really like. Now what is the protocol for their birth schedule? Do they just work in shifts?

 

Rosie, how are you feeling?

 

AFM, I am SO tired today. The whole drive to work I kept thinking about pulling over somewhere and napping/calling in. It feels like first tri. However, I'm worried it's respiratory. The air quality here has been bad and I thought I was getting a cold, then I went with the "just allergies" theory, but today I feel very stuffy and almost like I'm working on a sinus infection. I woke up a ton during the night because I was breathing through my mouth and it was dried out. Tomorrow is my appointment with the solo OBGYN. I REALLY really hope I like her. fingersx.gif

 

 

post #396 of 492

Sweetsparrows, I peeked over at your DDC and yes, that is some drama.  Whoops. Hopefully you guys get it all worked out soon.  Our DDC is pretty chill, which I'm really glad about.  You'll just have to hang out with the Bajingo ladies until it all blows over.

 

Caly, good news about the measurements and I'm glad you connected with one of your midwives.  A 1 in 3 chance isn't too bad.

 

EricaF, glad to see you over on our DDC now!  August babies are the best, after all.  winky.gif

 

AFM, still struggling with this weird squished feeling.  My workout on Monday was bad during the rowing portion.  I felt like my lungs were literally not opening up enough.  I found out later that at roughly this stage your uterus starts squishing your diaphragm.  YAY!  Soooooo, I guess I just need to get used to this because I'm not even 20 weeks yet.

post #397 of 492

Sparrows, I hope the pause in nausea means that it's tapering off, despite being back for a bit. Drama? I don't think I've noticed very much in our group, but I'll have to see if I can detect any in yours. I tend to stay away from contention--sorry you have to deal with that.

 

Calycanth, wonderful to hear about the good midwife experience!

 

Boots, I don't know about flutters. I have felt flutters, but since the u/s tech said it is still pretty impossible to feel anything yet, I am uncertain whether to trust it--could it just be digestion as she said? Yep, still tired here, especially today, but I only slept 6.5 hours and had a ton of activities and meetings at work, plus I was starving when I got home, and I still feel as though I'm in a fog. fingersx.gif that you have a wonderful visit to the potential ob!

 

LilyTiger, I've been doing a lot of walking lately, but still feel winded after climbing the stairs to my office. Also, I've had several long presentations in the past few weeks and, especially when I had to stand for one, I felt out of breath. I hope it gets a little easier.

 

Well, more good news! The genetic counselor thought the materniT21 test would take longer to get back, but we got the results today, and all clear! Now I know about as much as I would know had I done the NT and quad, so all good, or even better since the test is supposedly more accurate for trisomies 21, 13, and 18.

 

Most everyone knows at work--I told the administrative assistants yesterday (they had some suspicions because I'm off the fall schedule), so I can't assume anyone is unaware anymore. And now I'm showing a bit more, so it was a good time to put it more out in the open.

 

Getting closer to the weekend!

post #398 of 492

ugh! They canceled my appointment, apparently the doctor is ill. Do I take this as a bad sign or do I just roll with it and go see her next week.

Also, I'm not sure how far to widen my search. I don't know if it matters how close the practice is to work or home, etc. 

I'm frustrated! I wanted this settled so bad.

 

 

post #399 of 492

andaluza: What awesome news all around for you! Sigh of relief all around

 

boots: mangggg. You can't catch a break, huh? Well, I think I'd maybe see how accomodating they are to get you in again quickly and then maybe see from there? My OB is about 45 minutes from my house without traffic. Kinda far, butttt I like her and the hospital she goes to. The rinky-dink hospital that's close to me is who killed my best friend after childbirth and I REFUSE to set foot in that place since. And actually... I overheard someone at my OB's office say that a Mom would be better off giving birth in a stable than there. Ahahahahaha.

 

Caly: I'm so worried about the squished stomach thing. I barely have a bump and I get so full now and burp my face off. Not cute. I'm quite nervous to see what that will turn into later on in pregnancy! And just wondering... what what is your bebe's h/b now that you're almost 6 months?

 

AFM: Nothing crazy. Lots of posterior pelvic pain and round ligament pain going on. I thought the night peeing was getting a little better, butttt it was in full force last night. Got up 4x and peed a TON. I don't get it. Sigh.

post #400 of 492
Thread Starter 

Erica, her heartbeat was 156 at Monday's appointment. It was 137 at the previous appointment, so the midwife guessed she was a boy. orngtongue.gif The squished stomach sucks, but it's manageable! You'll be okay, I promise!

 

Bootsie, BAH! Why do these things keep happening to you?! The hospital I've decided on for the birth is a 25 minute drive from our house. It's the only one in the area that has an actual birth center and birthing tubs. I have no idea if I'll want to be in the water or not when I'm in labor, but I definitely want the option, so that's where I'm going.

 

Came home to find a big box of used baby clothes on my doorstep! I'm too tired to sort through them tonight, so they'll have to wait until the weekend.

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