I was actually feeling better emotionally this week until I went to see the stupid nurse practitioner an hour ago. I'm really starting to wonder if this is the right practice for me. I made an appointment for two reasons, 1. the antibiotics (flagyl) they gave me for my asymptomatic BV detected in a week 8 pap ruined my digestion and I stopped taking them. I thought there was a gel version but she didn't even mention it, just said to monitor my symptoms. 2. I was worried about my stress level and I was hoping someone could at least give me a measuring stick, like "okay if you can't stop crying for two days, then maybe you need to consider going back on meds" but she just sort of passed that off the on the doc. All I got out of this is that she had me reschedule with my doctor (to meet her for the first time) next week instead of in two weeks. I could've done that over the phone. The other thing I got out of this is a lecture about why I haven't done the glucose test yet. I was already crying from talking about my stress level (She was really weird when I started crying, so weird I felt like I had to say "sorry" and she ignored that, and didn't offer me a tissue.) My initial appointment was with her at 8 weeks, and she said they'd probably want to do it early. Then my 12 week appointment was with another doctor, whom I really didn't click with but just asked me about when they were thinking of doing it and I said, "I don't know, at some point," and she moved on. Because the NP never told me when to schedule it and nobody ever called and said "now!" Now she acted offended because I said I wanted to wait and discuss it with the doctor, she was like "What are your concerns?" and I told her (Even though I didn't really want to discuss it because I was already upset) and she gave her answers to my concerns and then (seriously) said "Then you can talk to the doctor about the glucose test if you still don't believe me." WTF, lady.
Also, my blood pressure has been high every time I go there but I really don't know if it's legitimate or just my anxiety about this whole provider situation. I didn't have HBP at my pulmonologist.
She told me to get a cuff and start taking my BP.
I would also like to point out that during my first visit with her she complained about breaking a nail. Then this time when we were listening to the baby's heartbeat she was like "It's all for him or her" and I just hated that, it was like we had no rapport going and she then tried to be reassuring and almost patronizing. She kept saying "the baby sounds good" or whatever, but excuse me I am actually (for once) not worried about the baby in the short term, I am here because I am having trouble coping and you won't even hand me a fucking tissue.
Now I feel like crying because I just don't know if I am going to be able to find any other practice that doesn't suck. I left my last OBGYN when she told me clomid wouldn't help, then after going through the whole fertility clinic process, I got pregnant my first month on clomid.
I haven't even met this doctor. But I'm not sure how I feel about anything anymore. I am so behind on thinking about birth choices and such, but I just left that office feeling like "I really want to know who is going to deliver my baby." I know that with hospital births you can't always have that, and I thought this practice would work because it would be one of only three female doctors, but now I don't know.