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Bajingo Babies in the New Year: Having Baby #1 in Our 30's, Winter 2012 - Page 21

post #401 of 492

Caly: Hmph... mine ws 153 last appt and today when I used the fetal doppler it went varied from 155-160... wonderrrrr if my suspicions of a girl are correct? We shall see!

 

 

post #402 of 492

Okay rescheduled for Wednesday. We shall see.

 

So now that it's out that there are two of us pregnant at work, we were talking baby registries and I got really annoyed. My one coworker who I am close who was good naturedly making fun of me because she said over 50% of my amazon baby registry is books. We're still working on it and I started there because that's what I wanted to think about in the first few weeks. But then preggo coworker got involved being like "I don't have ANY books. I want people to buy me the essentials." Needless to say, I went and looked at her registry and was amazed at what she considers "essentials." Two pack n plays, two carseats, jogging stroller, walker, $200 high chair...everything on there is at least $200. There are thousands of dollars of crap on there and I daresay she'll get everything from her family. I just think people need to realize that not everyone has a life where you just fill a registry with expensive shit and you get all of it. We are trying to be thrifty and I want to know where and when the essential items are coming, so we'll probably buy them ourselves or let them be grandparent gifts. 

Some random thoughts about baby stuff and registries: 

Do I really need to register for spoons and bibs? It's going to be months before I need them, they are cheap, and I can just get them myself. 

Do I really need a $200 high chair? There's one at Ikea for $35 and it has good reviews, and we don't eat at the table much, anyway. 

I just think about all the different situations people are in when they have children, and I'm put off by people assuming everyone is going to have three baby showers where they get all the overpriced crap they think they need from Baby's R Us. I will probably just have a work shower where people will get me whatever they want. Then my local friends are knitters and sewers and will give me handmade goods. Then we will get some stuff from our immediate family but that's not many people. 

 

post #403 of 492

@bootsvalentine:

 

I LOVE the idea of adding books to your baby registry (disclaimer I am a reader).  One of my friends did this for her hometown shower & I truly enjoyed selecting cherished books that she & hubby could read to their baby.  I am expecting my first baby & I will probably not have a registry at all.   From my personal experience, baby registries can get over the top very quickly & women request items they may not need or even want because they are caught up in the moment.  My sister did not have a baby registry when she had her daughter several years ago.  She received wonderful gifts & more importantly she truly had everything that was essential before my niece was born.

post #404 of 492

I'm following along, happy to read about the us, sorry to read about the downs, and generally trying to keep tabs on this group. These days I wake up (5AM), work for a few hours, go to class, work more, come home, hubby feeds me dinner, does out hypnobabies script, I do a bit more work, and I'm in bed by 9. It'll continue this way until Odin arrives!

 

Boots - You don't need to register for bibs because people give them to you anyway. I have 15 cloth bibs (and two rubber). I won't need the rubber for 6 months, but I plan to use the bibs for dribble and spitup, per the advice of a couple friends. Wee sales are awesome for that "big" stuff. We also registered for reference books (breastfeeding book, dr. sears books, etc.), along with a couple baby books. Unbeknownst to me my Mom threw a book shower, where most people brought a book and another small gift (bibs!). It was really wonderful. 

 

I've got 5 weeks to go! (No early baby for me...gotta get midterms done first.) 

 

Has hokieVol stopped in lately?

 

 

post #405 of 492

Boots, I totally agree with you.  One thing I'm glad of is that we have a very small house, so it is serving as a check on whatever commercialist tendencies I might have.  We just don't have room for wipe warmers and $300 high chairs and Pack 'n Plays.  I picked up a used Pack n Play from a garage sale that we'll keep at my parents' house and we're going to use a normal dresser as a changing table so we can just reuse it when the baby gets older.  The only thing we're going spendy on is a good jogging stroller, since both Dh and I run (with dogs) so we need maneuverability and quality.  Otherwise, we're inheriting stuff from SILs and trying to keep the sheer amount of stuff down to a minimum.  I visited a neighbor who just had a baby and she and her partner and babe are comfortable coexisting in something like 800 square feet with little more than a dresser/changing table, a crib, and a swing.  Looks pretty good from my perspective.

post #406 of 492

boots, I think your coworker has gone over the top.  When I have a baby I would love to have a handmade shower and I have been dreaming about how to pull it off given the commercial attitude of so many around me.  Now, a crib, dresser, and stroller, probably not handmade, everything else - give me something unique!

post #407 of 492

I am going to register for just a few items we main have just bought ourselves for those who are spread all over the country- then my mom wants to come out and take me shopping for the big furniture the rest of the stuff I plan on finding on craigslist and garage sales.   I want the basic stuff- car seat- crib stroller etc but I do not want a bunch of crap- seriously- kids grow up and baby stuff is bulky and ugly- and wasteful.  My mom had me sleeping in a laundry basket next to her bed- then we ended up playing outside a lot with wagons and dirt.  

 

I have had friends who just go crazy with the registry and stuff- that you can find used and minimize your carbon footprint.  So my philosophy is do what feels right to you- and I honestly think folks should remember that your little one will grow out of stuff so quickly- be mindful when buying "stuff".  

 

 

I am 11 weeks on Monday and getting a bit of a break from the intense nausea- it is still here just not killing me as much :)  I am worried about my little one - no reason just want to be further along.

 

Yesterday I was at the gap trying on clothes and my belly was a bit crampy and full and I was looking at it and it is soooo weird.  It is really sticking out- in this weird way where I almost look like I have a distended belly not a pregnancy.  I can't wait to just look pregnant.  I am already thinking about the stupid weight I am going to want to loose one my bebe joy arrives.  I try not to go there but clothing stores really bring that up for me -- meeer :(  I have to remember this is what I have wanted for so long and the other stuff can be dealt with LATER!!!  

 

Hope you all are having a lovely weekend- 73 here in the sunny Bay area!

post #408 of 492
Thread Starter 

Rosie! So close! You must be getting so excited! I know you're using midwives, but will you be delivering at home or at a birthing center? I, too, am curious about Hokievol. Hopefully she's in the midst of a beautiful babymoon.

 

Sparrows, I really dislike clothes shopping for that reason. I always leave the store feeling worse about myself than I did when I got there, and I'm usually annoyed because it's so hard to find things that fit well. No worries, though, you're going to be gorgeously pregnant very soon! Are you feeling any better?

 

Erica, time will tell. winky.gif When do you find out the sex? When they first told me I was having a girl, I was like, meh, okay (this is the same reaction I would've had if she'd been a boy, mind you - I just didn't care one way or the other). Now I'm totally in love with the idea of having a daughter.

 

I think my registry is as close to done as it's going to get. I tried to keep it pretty simple and affordable (other than a couple of big-ticket items like the car seat and breast pump, which I really doubt anyone is going to buy anyway), mostly because I just don't want a bunch of extra crap in my house. We plan to tell people that they should think of the registry as a guide and that we'd be perfectly happy to receive gently used or homemade items. I think putting books on the registry is a terrific idea. If you do wind up having a shower, Boots, maybe you could have some kind of literary theme and ask everyone to bring a book that was meaningful to them as a child. I think that would be so much fun for everyone involved. I'm a little sad about the whole shower situation. I wish we were still in Colorado or back home in Washington so I could celebrate this baby with my family and friends in person.

 

I am feeling a little down today. DH and I had a rather tense conversation yesterday about daycare and finances, and I just feel overwhelmed by the whole thing. Neither of us wants to put our tiny baby in daycare, but I've come to the conclusion that it would be best for us in the long run (as in best for my resume, future job prospects, and our family's financial security) if I keep my job. DH wants me to try to get my editing business, which I was in the process of establishing before this job came along, up and running before the baby is born so I can work from home. That sounds great, except that he's delusional about how much money I'd be able to make, especially in the beginning. Granted, I don't make much at the clinic, but freelance editing work is sporadic and generally doesn't pay much. I told him I'm not confident I'd be able to bring in as much money as I do now, and he told me (nicely, but still) that he thinks the only thing I'm lacking is the motivation to build a clientele. That really hurt me. It's not a matter of motivation, it's a matter of stability and security. I work hard at a job I don't particularly like because we need the money. With a baby coming, there's no way we could live on his salary alone, and the money that I bring home (after daycare) will cover our rent. I'm glad he's confident that I would be successful as a freelancer, but I'm not, and I don't think this is the best time to play games with our finances.

post #409 of 492
boots - Ya, people tend to go overboard on the whole registry thing. To be honest, we never did a baby registry anywhere. When we had our shower, we had a "green" theme - green color, and 'green' earth friendly, in that we wanted mostly used and/or organic stuff. Mine and DH's parents helped us with some of the big ticket items seperate from the shower. High chair wise, we didn't get one until last month, so Kayden was... 6.5 months old, I think, when we got it? And prior to that it would have been a complete waste of space. We didn't think we were going to get one at all, but now that Kayden is trying out solids it's nice to have a place to sit him where we don't have to hold him. And it keeps the mess contained. But if we'd got one before he was born it would have just taken up space for 6 months.

SOOO much baby stuff can be gotten safely used, we got most of our stuff that way, even the big ticket stuff. We got a $600 stroller for $200, $140 pack n play for $40. Exersaucer, jumperoo and swing for like $20 each. The only thing not safe to buy used is a car seat. Plus buying used saves you from having huge piles of stupid packaging everywhere to get rid of!

Caly - the financial/daycare thing is often a discussion in our house as well. Starting your own business is tough. Developing a clientele is tough. And it will be even tougher for the first while after baby arrives. If you're the one who would be working freelance, I think you need to stick to your guns - if you're not comfortable doing it yet, then you shouldn't do it. You don't need the stress of trying to establish your business while you've got a really little baby!

AFM - nothing much new here.Kayden is trying out steamed pear this week, so he, his clothes, his high chair, and my kitchen table all smell like pear smile.gif He's almost crawling - he can get up to his hands and knees and then furiously rocks back and forth, but hasn't figured out how to go forward yet smile.gif
post #410 of 492

Caly, that's tough.  If it helps, I have a friend who has had his own freelance editing business for some years now and he may be able to give your DH a little more perspective on how long it takes to actually get established (and profitable).  I'm sure you know people you can contact too though.  As someone who uses freelance editors, I know that it's hard work and the pay is iffy until you get known among a certain clientele.  It's really hard.  DH might also want to consider how much work you would actually be able to get done with a baby around.  Editing is pretty time intensive and intellectually demanding and I would think it's difficult to get sustained work done while being distracted by a baby.  I bumped up my writing and publishing this year and last because I knew I just wouldn't get any work done with a baby in the house.  I'll be lucky if my lectures get written on time. 

 

Anyway, it is a really difficult decision and I'm sorry it's stressing you out.

 

We're struggling with the daycare option now too.  For two days a week (what we need to cover my basic teaching schedule), it's $175 a week at the on-site daycare.  We're looking into seeing if my MIL can take one day and my best friend who's a SAHM can take the other (for some pay) so we can avoid daycare for the first year.  After that first year we'll probably end up with the kid in daycare for at least a few days a week.  The frustrating thing is that the on-site daycare where I work has a waiting list a mile long, so this kid has to be placed on the list in utero just to hopefully secure a spot.  We'll put down the deposit and hope we don't need the service I guess.

 

 

post #411 of 492

Erica, I have heard that heart rate is not reliable for determining gender, but that doesn't mean it isn't fun to speculate. My guy's has been 151 and 155 at our latest appointments. I can't believe I held off buying the fetal doppler. 

 

Boots, I think I responded to you about the registry thing on our ddc. But I've heard (and noticed in baby showers), that despite having the registry, many people just buy you what they like or find adorable, because it's a way to live vicariously. For instance, one of my coworkers had discussed not putting blankets on her registry because of the research she had done. But then one of the administrative assistants gave her a beautiful homemade blanket; so sometimes your intentions and those of the people who care about you won't match, but sometimes even then it turns out ok. I am just thrilled that we will be having our work showers so early (May), so we will have that much more time to plan around what people give us.

 

Rosie, it's amazing that you are so close!! Back when I started lurking on the bajingo thread, I think you were the first person I read about getting a bfp, so it's amazing to see it almost come full circle! Hope these weeks give you the time to get everything done.

 

2sweetsparrows, clothes are tricky! I bought some destination maternity stuff online based on their sizing guidelines and found that the shirts were fine, but all the pants were tight all over (I personally don't do the skinny jean or pant thing in general). But when I went to the store to buy the size up, they were definitely too big. Maddening, since it was pants that I wanted more than anything. I had to try on 20x as many pairs to find ones that fit a little better. 

 

Oh, Caly, that is so hard. I agree with the others that you will probably feel less stress keeping the job you have. However, maybe you will find that over time you can pick up a few side editing jobs to build references and when you are ready you'll be a little ahead. 

 

Livingsky, amazing that Kayden is trying out solids. 

 

Ugh, LilyTiger, I put us on the list at my workplace daycare as soon as we saw the heartbeat on the 8w quickie scan (about a year before he'll need the care), but I still think it will be hard to get a spot. Also, at my workplace daycare, we would have to pay full time even if we use it only sporadically.I suppose I could adjust and work in the office every day. I am so terrified of childcare, especially since we have no family or great friends to rely on as backups around here. This is going to give me nightmares. 

post #412 of 492

Thanks everyone for the feedback about registries. I just like to see that people have all sorts of different experiences and philosophies about baby "stuff' so there's no one right way.

 

Caly, I am sorry about that whole mess, I am going to PM you.

 

I'm just having trouble managing stress without having a care provider right now. I know I shouldn't even think about it, but I am angry that the practice i am still technically with didn't even call when I canceled my appointment to talk to the doctor about depression. I think that's seriously negligent when they know my history of depression. It has become so clear to me that these people don't care at all.

Wednesday is my rescheduled appointment with the new doc. I am scared but hopeful.

I have just this week before it's spring break and my parents arrive. I this will be good. I am feeling SO overwhelmed by work. If I only had to grade and teach every day, I'd be overwhelmed. But I have all these (unpaid, unappreciated) side projects which are huge time sinks. I hate them and I am angry that i got myself into them, but I never really thought I'd get pregnant, so there you go.

I called in for tomorrow because it's already 2:30 a.m. and I'm still up and stressing feeling gross and angry. I had such trouble just getting up last week even with a normal amount of sleep.

I keep hearing about more and more women with GD (Why does it seem like it's EVERYONE?) and they all weigh much less than I do, not to mention they don't all have two diabetic parents. I am just scared but I have other medical priorities like managing my mood, depression, sleep and breathing. I want a doctor who will listen to that and not alarm me about everything else that will/might go wrong. 

 

I feel like a baby taking a day off just to avoid all this stress (I already slept a ton this weekend) but I just don't know if I can do it. I don't enjoy work AT ALL anymore. Is that normal? I feel like I have to force myself to go and I'm just waiting for the next bad thing to happen there. We have conferences until 7 p.m. on Thursday and I still have grading to do along with teaching all week (while trying not to create a ton of additional grading for next quarter's grade book).

 

Okay, sorry I just unloaded. I still don't have a therapist but I did call and find out my insurance benefit. I am worried about money but I should probably just go. I find it so stressful to start with a new therapist, so that's part of the reason I've been avoiding it.

post #413 of 492
privateeyes.gif

boots, teaching is a STRESSFUL job. I had to drag my butt in every day last year. If it helps, its physically a lot easier this year even though I'm exhausted and leaving DD to go to work is HARD; I'm still not hauling around a sick pregnant body. Be easy on yourself, and don't try to be super teacher! I hope your new care provider CARES. hug.gif ok--back to lurking.
post #414 of 492

 

LilyT - Let me know which jogging stroller you choose and, eventually, how you like it. We decided to get a walking stroller with bassinet and toddler seat swap-out at first, and we will consider a jogger later (used, craigslist). I am skeptical that we'll like running with a stroller; we have hilly routes and often are on the sidewalk of a major road rather than a path or a quiet street. 

 

Caly - Odin will arrive at home :). We have a birth pool but no idea whether I'll want a waterbirth or not, guess we'll decide in the moment. Our homecheck and prep is tomorrow morning. Two midwives, their student, and our doula will all be gathering at the house. Besides going through the birth prep checklist, I don't know what else to expect from that. 

 

We're not excited about daycare for baby either, but our long term goals just simply make the decision for us. I want my PhD, and I can't take a semester off. So, we'll make it work. I think we've found a lovely in-home care situation that will work really well. It's more expensive than I'd like, but I've not felt that "yeah, this is good" feeling with anyone else so far.

 

LS - I love the image of Kayden rocking back furiously. He's working hard!

 

andaluza - I remember you arrived on the TTC thread right around when I "graduated". Doesn't time fly! I tried on at least 20 pairs of jeans to find ones that would work too…then several months later found a pair that were perfect from the get-go. Maternity clothes shopping is SO hit-or-miss. 

 

Bootshug2.gif and I hope the new doc is a great fit. 

 

So, it's official, I'm planning on Odin's arrival on the 13th of April. That's the median delivery time for a first-time mom, we were married on the 13th of October, and it's the beginning of a weekend. PERFECT. So, yeah, that's my plan. thumb.gif

post #415 of 492

Just popping in, Brody's a "high" needs baby so I never have the time to keep up with you guys =(

 

Caly, technically I'm freelance, but I have my work sent to me through a company that I worked in house for so I don't have to find clients. Being freelance is really tough. The kind of jobs that work well freelance are often closely linked to the economy. When things went downhill with the economy we had a huge drop in work as people/companies started cutting out lesser essential services. I've stayed afloat because I do Russian and French so I don't have a lot of competition, but we had others who didn't make it. Since my work is not guaranteed we base all our bills off of Dh's pay, my income is only supplemental. Also I can say that working freelance with a young babe is very hard, I still haven't gone back to work because I just don't have the time to devote to work while being a SAHM. Several of my full time freelance friends actually have childcare for their kids so they can work. Just something for your DH to think about. Obviously I love working from home and would encourage you to go for it if you want,  but it's not as easy as people think.

 

Rosie: If I'm not back on here before you deliver, Good Luck! I hope you and Odin's birth goes as smoothly as possible.

post #416 of 492

Tear, how did not know you were a teacher? What grade?

 

Rosie, I hope Odin sticks to your schedule ;)

 

Ram, good to see you, that adorable guy is keeping you busy, huh. I hope you are feeling good.

 

So I *might* have felt the baby move today. I keep saying, I can't feel the baby move but i can feel the baby, I'm very aware there is an alien presence on my left side. I wasn't really paying attention, though, and I l felt something that was more a of a twinge than a cramp, and I was like "is that you?" But then nothing. Who knows.

Andaluza, my due date twin, have you felt anything yet?

 

I got my baby blanket yarn in a nice neutral gray, it's soooo soft, I love it. I can't wait to start it.

 

I had a ridiculous temper tantrum last night but am okay today. Trying to hold it together for the rest of the week and especially for my appointment tomorrow. It wouldn't do to go in and start crying. I need to get some good info. Need to make a list of questions/concerns.

 

post #417 of 492

All the ladies dealing with issues around daycare that is just a tricky one for sure.  I work- (am off on disability now) at a Rape Crisis Center that is in a YWCA that has a daycare center- i thought- wow I can place my little one there and go down and breast feed and it will be a t a deep discount etc- well turns out that there is less that 10% discount for employees and I would end up paying out so much of my salary it is just not worth it.  I am going to continue on this route then start graduate school in winter- I hope that they will allow me to defer enrollment until then- I think they will.  At that point I will take my '3' months family leave off then I will announce my resignation and start school.  There I will hopefully go at night for the most part so me and DH can just trade off.  I think I will line a baby sitter up though because meetings come up.  When I start my practicum hours (during the day) I will need to figure something else out- and day care around here is crazy-

 

I am just trying to take it all a step at a time- we also do not have family near.  

 

Boots- hope your appointment goes well!

 

Rosie- can't believe you are so close and yay for the plan I'll be rootin' for you!

 

Went to old navy today to pick up some stupid clothes and found some great maternity lounge ware and some cute day ware, I hope to have a few staples for going out- going to the beach and staying home.  I really feel gross and do not want to buy quality maternity clothing- I already bought two nice black and one brown jersey dresses from Nordstrom in my last pregnancy- so those will have to suffice for my quality ware.   I am lucky to not have to fool with work clothes!

 

Feeling a bit better- getting some relief- one of my besties who lives in Ohio told me she was pregnant a few weeks ago.  It was a very dicey situation- I won't get into details here.  She was three weeks behind me, and is miscarrying.  I feel really bad for her as she wanted the baby- It kind of put me on edge because Monday is the one year anniversary of loosing my little twins and it just freaks me out and makes me sad.  The freaking out feels like there is all this bad stuff around this week and I have my NT scan on Tuesday and my 12 w appt on Monday.  I just hope I see a beautiful little healthy babe in there with a nice strong heartbeat.  Of course I am saddened by the anniversary of the loss and want to commemorate it yet not dwell.  I don't even really want to go on the loss board it is just too much- I need to keep balance and not delve into pain.  

 

novel I know- hope you all are having a great weekwinky.gif

 

 

post #418 of 492
Quote:
Originally Posted by bootsvalentine View Post

Tear, how did not know you were a teacher? What grade?

5th, formerly 1st. I got switched last year. You?
post #419 of 492

Tear, wow 1st to 5th is a big switch, how do you like it?

 

I teach 7th and 8th grade reading at a small K-8, I have about 100 students.

 

 

 

 

post #420 of 492
It's a big switch. winky.gif I miss early literacy, for sure. Big time. But fifth graders are fun and challenging in their own way. smile.gif No wonder you are stressed with 7th and 8th graders. By this time of year, 5th graders start to slowly turn into them, and it's tough. So is having 100 students to keep track of! Hats off to you.
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