I'll take some of the tips suggested here to try getting the baby settled down better at night. I do notice a little difference in her if the TV and lights are off and I have white noise around. It's really hard to go into the bedroom and call it a night early with her when that's the only time I see my DH since he is awake on nights and sleeps during the day. And DH seems to disagree that having the TV on at night would bother her at all. It's so ungodly frustrating. I tell him that even if the lights are off and the TV is muted, the TV still has flashing lights bouncing off the walls and that alone can bother the baby. He just doesn't get it because he likes to sleep with the TV on all of the time. So maddening.
I'm so shut down right now. Mornings are usually the best time with the baby but this morning she decided to be crying and screaming like she does at night! I hardly got any sleep since she was up every 2 hours to be changed or fed, so now I'm running on empty and have no patience left to handle this... After making sure every possible need I could fulfill was met and she was still crying, I had to just set her in her swing for a few minutes so I could sit and bawl my eyes out alone. I've been getting dizzy and feeling like passing out, I'm that exhausted. I had actually reached out to some family this week to see if they could help me with her and it was a complete bust anyway. My mom had the flu and ended up in the ER seriously ill from complications, so that was a no-go. My mother-in-law agreed a few days ago to drive up this morning to help me out, but then she flaked out on me RIGHT WHEN SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. What the hell is wrong with people?! I don't get how anyone can have the indecency to do that. I was waiting here impatiently for her to arrive, feeling like any second longer alone and I was going to go sit in my car and scream my head off. Then she texts me within minutes of when she was supposed to be here and tells me she decided not to come because of weather warnings for later (mind you, it hasn't snowed at all yet, she could've come for a few hours). How does anyone not give advance notice for something like that? I'm not even responding to her, it's so inconsiderate to me. My friend who was going to visit tonight gave me advance notice and cancelled last night, so my MIL has no excuse. I hate being so negative right now, but this whole situation has made me feel even less comfortable reaching out for help. It is SO hard for me to ask people for help, and when I finally did, the person I was counting on flaked out on me.
To make matters worse, I don't know how I'll be able to get my car out and pick up my DH from the airport tomorrow if it snows as much as they're saying it might tonight. I'd never be able to shovel the driveway in the weak state I'm in.
I'm so done being the sweet happy supportive wife for my DH while he's in Vegas. He didn't have to go, it's not a normal work function he went to, it's a convention for a side unpaid job/hobby thing he does. It wasn't fair to leave me like this. The stress has stirred up some of my health problems again and now I'll be paying for it for a while.