January Chit Chat - Page 21 « Back to Group Discussions

[dashley111]

Originally Posted by TalkToMeNow 

Ash, I had thyroid stuff starting after dd1 was born. I was one of the small number of women for whim postpartum thyroiditis turns into something more. I have Hashimoto's. Anyway, my point is that it's usually pretty simple to regulate and the medicine is totally safe. Hope you feel better soon!

That's really good to know, thank you!  I have some more tests and an ultrasound before they talk about meds. 

[jbk21]

Technically a bedtime routine isn't really necessary until they start to form habits which is after 4 months.  But starting earlier certainly can't hurt.  I am trying to keep D's routine as simple as possible so that it is repeatable for anyone, anywhere.  Owen was very particular and still kind of is.... we'll see what happens.  I find that D goes down MUCH easier if I swaddle him for a while and walk around in a quiet place, maybe bring him in to O's room as we talk/sing before bedtime, then bring D back in our room to put him down.  If I just try to swaddle and put him down he freaks out.  He needs the wind-down time.  I feel silly that I didn't think of that sooner.

We love our cloud-b sleep sheep  But seriously what's up with the 45 minute limit!?  Ugh.  We always also have a fan on for white noise.  I need that more than anyone :-)

[KayPea]

Immediately postpartum (when I was having all my health problems) I was SO glad that we were done having kids. But once I was a little better, I started mourning the daughter I didn't have (I THOUGHT I wanted a boy, but it turns out that I really was hoping for a girl!) especially now that I am putting all of DD's cute little girl things away for good. But the thing is, I can't bring myself to give them away, thinking - what of we just try to have another daughter? We SO cannot afford 3 kids, but if we had a third I am really attached to having that baby wear the same things that DD did. It's dumb, I know, because we absolutely can't have another baby until we have more money, and even if we did, it could be another little boy. So now I say that we are keeping them to pass on to friends when they have their babies. Luckily we have a basement now so we have the space to cater to my neuroses. I do LOVE having a little guy, and I think Baby O is the bees knees, but I grew up with an all-girl household, so I guess that dynamic is all I know.

Oren is a good sleeper, though we had a couple of exhausting nights recently when he was going through his growth spurt. But he's back to going down at 9, waking up at 3 then up at 6 with DH. So I only have to get up to feed him once. Well, twice, I guess because DH lets me go back to sleep after 6. I swaddle him in a Miracle Blanket and he sleeps in the sidecar, next to me, but not touching me. During the day he naps with the most obnoxious buzzing static on my clock radio - we're still trying to figure out our white-noise situation because we can't afford to get a white-noise machine right now. I hope he keeps it up, but I know all about what happens at 4 months, so I'm just enjoying this time now, knowing it could all be over in a month.

[birdhappy85]

KayPea, what happens at 4 months?  Are we talking another growth spurt? Is it the mother of all growth spurts? Please prepare this FTM!

[jbk21]

Originally Posted by birdhappy85 

KayPea, what happens at 4 months?  Are we talking another growth spurt? Is it the mother of all growth spurts? Please prepare this FTM!

Just get ready for a LOT more sleep deprivation.... there's the 4 month regression, and then teething and a few more regressions, especially around developmental events like pulling up, crawling, walking, etc.  Basically, enjoy sleep when you get it because it won't last for long!   Sorry! At least we're all in this together, right?!


Okay, so someone tell me that I am not crazy.  Or tell me that I am crazy.  Either way I just need to vent.  

We went to our neighbors' house for a birthday gathering.  We LOVE our neighbors- they are like parents to us, and grandparents to our kiddos.  We spend a lot of time together.  It was the wife's birthday today and I made a special cake and we all got together with some of the other neighborhood households for dessert.  Well, one household in particular is a single mom with 2 kids (ages 9 and 12).  She didn't come because she was very ill with "the flu"- fever, chills, cold-like symptoms, not the stomach flu.  I said "oh I hope that her kids don't come then either because we don't get the flu vaccine and I don't want to risk getting sick or Dylan getting sick." [side note, I got influenza B last February and it was AWFUL.  I literally thought I was going to have to be hospitalized.  I couldn't get out of bed for a full ten days.  I did nothing but sleep, I couldn't even eat.]  So, needless to say, it made me really nervous.  Then who shows up?  Her kids.  Hoarse sounding, snotty and wiping their noses on their sleeves (um, gross).  They seemed totally unfazed, of course, and were hugging up on everyone and giving kisses, playing with the little kids (Owen included though I tried to buffer that).  I almost lost it.  Of course I turn to DH and say "I think we ought to just go home, right?" And he agreed completely.  We apologized profusely to our neighbor who's birthday it was, and she apologized repeatedly that those kids were there.  I was so upset- sad, mad, etc.... I feel bad that we left early but I REALLY don't want to get sick or for D to get sick.  I wish we could have spent more time, even though we spend a lot of time with them, I just really wanted to celebrate with them for her birthday. I wanted to enjoy the evening.  I am mad that the mom sent her kids over who were visibly some kind of sick and possibly carrying whatever it is that she has.  I am just frustrated at the whole situation.  And now I feel neurotic, as if I should have just stayed.  Ugh.  

I'm still upset and generally annoyed. Hmph.

[Abraisme]

It's pretty typical for babies to have a sleep regression around 4 months.  It seems to be the age when babies get more interested in the world and less interested in sleeping.
 

Originally Posted by birdhappy85 

KayPea, what happens at 4 months?  Are we talking another growth spurt? Is it the mother of all growth spurts? Please prepare this FTM!

Amanda - I didn't start a real bed time routine with my DD1 until she was about 2yo.  Before that we always waited until she was tired and then I put her to bed.  We did basically the same thing every night, but there was no set time, etc.  So far, Coralie still sleeps in a carrier or right next to me.  I don't start putting my babies down in another room until they're a bit older.  I basically wait until they nap better alone and then make the transition.  For my DD1 that was about 3mo.

Sp far Coralie is a pretty good sleeper.  Down for the night between 10-10:45, up at 3:00, 6:00, and the 8:00ish for the day.  Basically she's up 1-2 times while I'm sleeping.

[KayPea]

Originally Posted by birdhappy85 

KayPea, what happens at 4 months?  Are we talking another growth spurt? Is it the mother of all growth spurts? Please prepare this FTM!

DD's 4-month sleep regression totally messed with my mind - I was getting 6-8 hour stretches from 6 weeks until 3.5 months, then all of a sudden she was up every 45 minutes through the night, and wouldn't nap at all during the day etc. This lasted until 6 months when she transitioned to 2 naps a day and I pretty much gave in and exclusively napped her in the Ergo (after 2 months of lying with her in pitch-dark rooms for hours going squirrelly.) I read somewhere too that it's also called the 4-month sleep organization, because their sleep cycles change from newborn cycles to regular baby/child cycles, and suddenly they begin to cycle regularly through light/deep/REM sleep, and are now more alert and often wake for each light stage, and then don't know how to fall back asleep on their own. That's why baby sleep experts tell you to have their nap/night routines and sleep associations all sorted by 4 months, because at that point they really need to have the thing they associate with sleep to help them fall back asleep for EVERY cycle as they learn to do this on their own. So, for DD, she nursed to sleep at night, so she needed to nurse back to sleep after every sleep cycle. And it was only after I brought her into our bed at 6 months (she was in the sidecar before, and I used to get up and nurse her on the couch) and I started to nurse her side-lying in bed that I didn't mind the frequent night-waking, because I basically just slept through most feeds.  Oren doesn't usually nurse to sleep, so I'll see how the 4 month organization goes. Oh, and DD didn't go back to having a 6-hour stretch until she was over 2, and we finally moved her into her own bed.  And every time she teethed, had a cold, hit a milestone or a growth spurt sleeping was pure hell. 

Speaking of Oren's sleep - I was doing bedtime alone tonight and so I swaddled Oren like it was bedtime at 7:30 when I started DD's bedtime routine, and he fell asleep right away, and has been sleeping ever since. So I think maybe 7:30 is his new bed time? I hope so, that would so rock.

[birdhappy85]

Quote:

Originally Posted by KayPea 

Oh, and DD didn't go back to having a 6-hour stretch until she was over 2, and we finally moved her into her own bed.  And every time she teethed, had a cold, hit a milestone or a growth spurt sleeping was pure hell. 

 Oh lord... put me out of my misery now.

I have a former coworker who told me her 1-year-old is awake at 1:00am every night and won't go back to sleep unless he's in the bed with her and her husband - which makes them sleep worse - and she's been at her wit's end not understanding why he doesn't sleep through the night. I secretly hoped it was just her kid and not typical for kids his age.  Wishful thinking. I hope Sora sleeps well. If genetics play any role in her sleep quality, we're in for a REALLY rough time. DH was a head banger and I had the worst night terrors and sleepwalking. Both of us also have sleep disorders now as adults too. Yikes. I handled the night time sleep deprivation her first 2 months only because I could nap during the day when she napped. I went crazy during the few days here and there when she'd be up constantly all night and then awake all day. And the worst was when she'd be crying on top of it. I sat bouncing her on my exercise ball ready to fall over and pass out while simultaneously crying to myself and screaming obscenities in my head. I'm really not looking forward to going back to that, especially when she's even more mobile. I have no energy right now as is, even with her long first stretch of sleep at night. This is going to be interesting!

On the bright side, at least breastfeeding is way easier now. That'll cut down on some of the craziness I feel when I'm thrust back into the sleep deprivation and frustrations during the upcoming milestones.

[TalkToMeNow]

Abra, thanks for sharing. I just don't see how I'd be able to do a routine with ds until dh is here full time.

I don't remember any four month sleep regression. I swear, I have the worst mom memory in the world! I remember nothing! Like, I tandem nursed through my pregnancy with dd2 and then for a year after, and I can't give one piece of advice on it. All I remember is that I did it, but not how. I have mommy memory loss.

Kaypea, that's interesting about the sleep stuff. Jasper started nursing to sleep about a month ago, so hopefully that will help with night waking.

J, you aren't crazy. My dh would have made us leave immediately and then tried to get us to bathe in hand sanitizer! In her defense, the poor mom was probably willing to do anything to get an hour's rest with her kids gone. Not saying she's right, just that I've been there with my girls. Luckily, I always had their father to beg to take them if I was too sick. But, yeah, no one wants to be exposed to sick kids! I'm around a lot of kids between volunteering at my girls' school, their friends coming over, and my girl scour troop. I never let any of the kids touch the baby. Ever. So I'm probably paranoid, too! Lol.

So, I have exciting news: dh's job is sending him here for the next three weeks! He's going to work in the local office and hopefully impress them so they want him to stay. Three weeks is huge for us... It will be the longest stretch we've all been together since he and I were dating. It will be an adjustment, though. On the weekends when dh is home, Jasper's bed time goes out the window. I'm not sure why, but he ends up staying up later. When I'm alone with him, I usually get him to sleep by 9. I'm sure by the time we get adjusted into a routine with dh, the three weeks will be up. Oh well, it will be nice anyway!

[Abraisme]

Joanie - My babies have never had an noticeable sleep regressions around 4mo.  Things did change a bit over time (teething, growing, etc), but mostly it stayed pretty similar.  My DD1 woke up ever 2-4 hours until she night weaned around 22mo.  The only reason she night-weaned is because my milk dried up during my pregnancy, I have no idea how it would have gone if I still had milk? 

I night-weaned my DS at 2.5yo.  By that age is was pretty easy, I just told him that the 'nummies' were sleeping at night.  That vast majority of babies that I know have woken up at night until around 2yo.  You can force night-weaning earlier if you want, but it often involves a few really sleepless nights and some crying.  I think that both of my kids NEEDED to eat at night until at least 18mo, so I personally wouldn't consider night weaning before that.   It also seems that the better your child eats, the better they will sleep.  My few friends that struggle to get their kids to eat solid food during the day also have the kids with sleep issues.  Those are just my experiences though..  Some babies sttn all on their own from the beginning!

Also, I'm not sure how you and your DH were parented, but one of the main reasons that AP parents believe in night-time parenting (co-sleeping, feeding on demand, etc) is to avoid life-long sleep issues.  Hopefully your sleep problems are more environmental than genetic.  :)

Amanda - We decided to skip the scheduled bed-time because if she wasn't tired I would have to lay in the bedroom for an hour+.  It was so much easier to wait until she was noticeable tired to put her down.  Sometimes it was 8pm and other times it was 10:30pm.  Right at 2yo we started to put her in bed at 8:30 every night (the same time DS goes down) and it worked really well.  She was excited to do the same routine that her big brother did and it really only took 2 nights (about 30 minutes each) to change things up. 

Edited by Abraisme - 2/1/12 at 8:30am

[Jaimee]

Amanda, that is exciting news!!  Keep us posted!

Joanie, yep, the 4 month sleep regression...  And it's ironic considering that's classically the time that your ped will ask you if your baby is STTN (which medically speaking is only 5 hours, but still).  It's very common and many a mom is blindsided b/c you think that sleep should get better as they get older.  It always got worse as my kids got older until they figured it out around age two.

J, not crazy at all.  I have found over the years that people feel very differently about illness.  Some feel like there's not much you can do to avoid germs so they don't think twice about sending their sick kids to playgroups, parties, school, etc.  Others are cautious and always keep their sick kids home.  But when you're in the trenches of early parenthood with little ones and you're getting sick every 3 weeks, avoiding illness practically becomes your number one priority and I would have been livid, too.  I bet with her older kids she just didn't think anything of it and that was probably compounded by the fact that she's a single mom and seriously needed a break.  I'm sorry it ruined your evening!

[jbk21]

"But when you're in the trenches of early parenthood with little ones and you're getting sick every 3 weeks, avoiding illness practically becomes your number one priority and I would have been livid, too." 
 

Yes- that.  Thanks everyone :-)  I think she is just oblivious.  She went to work yesterday, for goodness sake.   She is rarely with her kids, to be honest.  But yeah.  I'm still annoyed.

[KaliShanti]

My oldest DS was a poor sleeper until close to 1 year. My DD was a good sleeper (up 1-2 times a night) from the beginning and still is, at age 2. Do not remember her having any regressions  per se- maybe an off-night here or there. My baby DS sleeps 7-9 hours straight right now- we'll see how long this lasts! His naps are anywhere from 30 mins to 1.5 hours depending. But we do not co-sleep, not even in the same room. No one gets any sleep that way and it seems like the one child we did co-sleep with he had way more sleep issues.

[jbk21]

Originally Posted by KaliShanti 

My oldest DS was a poor sleeper until close to 1 year. My DD was a good sleeper (up 1-2 times a night) from the beginning and still is, at age 2. Do not remember her having any regressions  per se- maybe an off-night here or there. My baby DS sleeps 7-9 hours straight right now- we'll see how long this lasts! His naps are anywhere from 30 mins to 1.5 hours depending. But we do not co-sleep, not even in the same room. No one gets any sleep that way and it seems like the one child we did co-sleep with he had way more sleep issues.

I think it's about finding what works best for your individual family.  I always say "I try to maximize our total sleep".  My older son moved to his nursery at 4 months.  He would come to our room from time to time- whether that was half the night, or all night- for one night, or for a week. We still coslept sometimes even up until D was born.  We just did whatever he needed.  Sometimes he needed us, sometimes he didn't.  He is a pretty independent sleeper though- even last week DH was falling asleep in Owen's room at bedtime and Owen nudged him and said "get out.  I want to sleep by myself."  LOL

[Jaimee]

Sorry this took me all day!  http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1343984/february-chit-chat