I can see your dilemma, I wish I had some better advice.. My DD1 is about 4mo older than your DS1 and there is SO much development that happens in those few months. It's really just managing every day and getting through.
Well, I would be encouraging independent nap as well, but with all the changes and now a new baby as well... I just don't have the heart to force another change. I can't have Avery in a carrier and rock ds1 and carry him to bed. So that's out for now. A few nights ago, I was solo for bedtime and Avery fussed and fussed and I could not get ds1 to fall asleep. So finally I put him in his bed and laid down with him and Avery and it took him an hour to fall asleep with us laying there with him. If I had just left him there he would have gotten up, so that's not an option yet. Ugh... just another time when I wish he was 6 months older.
It really went pretty well. I was tired by the end (baby needs to be bounced from 8-11:30 every night), but we managed. My DH just informed me that he has to be gone this next week (Sunday to Friday). He asked me if he thought I could manage and would rather NOT go, but he feels that it's really important for his career (and future job options as well), so I said that he could go. We'll survive somehow. I did manage to milk our goat with Coralie in the carrier, so at least I can still get my chores done easily enough. Our goat STILL has not given birth, she's probably waiting until next week when my DH is gone to bless me with that experience. :/