How to explain to kids that our dog can't move with us. - Page 2

[rainsmom]

Originally Posted by starrlamia 

i wouldnt suggest getting new pets in the future to someone who cant keep current pets.

OP- glad you have someone who can take her, you have to understand that those of us who work in rescue see this situation over and over again and 90% of the time it is a situation that could have turned out differently (such as finding an appartment that allows dogs), with the amount of pets euthanized every year and a lot of owner surrenders being bad and lazy excuses, most rescue people are going to be completely honest and upfront.

[Cyllya]

Originally Posted by txgal 

I don't even know what to say to most of you so I will just say thank you to LCBMAX for not assuming the worst and giving me some advice that I can actually use.  For the record I will not be taking her to the pound, I have a friend that is willing to take her and she will be well taken care of.

Wait, if this is the situation, then telling your kids the truth means they know the dog is safe and will be well cared for, just not living with them any more... and lying to them means telling them the dog is dead or lost and in danger. So, uh, what's the advantage of lying??? It's not going to make them not miss the dog.

Your friend could send your family pictures and news about the dog (and you could even visit if she lives nearby?), but if you lie, your friend will have to keep up the lie for the rest of the dog's life, or longer. And the kids won't be able to say goodbye.

[Dar]

I'm with Cyllya... since the dog is going to a good home I'm not sure why there would be an issue, and I don't see why you wouldn't include that from the beginning...

[ananas]

I also don't see why you didn't include that info in the beginning- it makes the situation a lot different, and even though my answer already would have been to not lie, in that situation, I definitely say don't lie. If the dog is with a friend, couldn't the kids stay in touch, get pictures, etc? It doesn't seem like that big of a deal.

[swede]

Originally Posted by starrlamia 

Some people, myself included, do not believe there are really any legitimate circumstances for abandoning a pet. The shelters are full of animals that people "cant" take when moving.
 

wow.  What a small, small, world you must live in.  And how privileged you must be as well.  I can imagine all sorts of things - finances, illness (on the part of the owner or the owner's children), etc.  And rehoming or putting a pet in a shelter is not abandoning them.    Abandoning would be pushing it out of the car on a country road.

[swede]

Originally Posted by minnowmomma 

Would you consider moving to an apartment that you couldn't take your kids?

ew.  To compare a dog to a human is laughable.  No, I am certain that nobody here would consider moving to an apartment that couldn't take her kids.  But sometimes people have to make tough choices.  Dogs are not people. 

[Imakcerka]

Dogs are not people, neither are cats.  They are at our disposal to do with as we please.  They have no soul and there for do not count when it comes to life decisions.  They're good for companionship and sometimes as an accessory. 
 

Originally Posted by swede 

ew.  To compare a dog to a human is laughable.  No, I am certain that nobody here would consider moving to an apartment that couldn't take her kids.  But sometimes people have to make tough choices.  Dogs are not people. 

[rcr]

We foster older dogs, and we are always honest with our DS about where they came from "they came from somebody who was irresponsible and not kind to animals, so they sent him to the pound to die (in a cruel gas chamber, where we live), but he was one of the very very few lucky ones who got saved because we took him into our home to foster him" I suppose to be on the other end of that conversation - to be the one sending the dog away - would be more difficult.

[rcr]

Originally Posted by Imakcerka 

Dogs are not people, neither are cats.  They are at our disposal to do with as we please.  They have no soul and there for do not count when it comes to life decisions.  They're good for companionship and sometimes as an accessory. 
 

Are you serious?

[Mulvah]

Originally Posted by Imakcerka 

Dogs are not people, neither are cats.  They [dogs, cats] are at our disposal to do with as we please.  They have no soul and there for do not count when it comes to life decisions.  They're good for companionship and sometimes as an accessory. 
 

Do you even know what this statement means?   

[swede]

Originally Posted by rcr 

We foster older dogs, and we are always honest with our DS about where they came from "they came from somebody who was irresponsible and not kind to animals, so they sent him to the pound to die (in a cruel gas chamber, where we live), but he was one of the very very few lucky ones who got saved because we took him into our home to foster him" I suppose to be on the other end of that conversation - to be the one sending the dog away - would be more difficult.

again, wow.  The condescension here is amazing.  You really don't think it's possible that someone might have to choose between feeding their children and feeding their dog??  Or maybe an elderly person needs to move into assisted living.  I really hope that your life never changes for the worse, because it seems like you are completely out of touch with reality.

[swede]

Originally Posted by Imakcerka 

Dogs are not people, neither are cats.  They are at our disposal to do with as we please.  They have no soul and there for do not count when it comes to life decisions.  They're good for companionship and sometimes as an accessory. 
 

I wouldn't go that far, but I do think that most thinking people, would choose their children over their animals.  As they should.

[Imakcerka]

Well to clarify, I was actually being sarcastic... Geez Mulvah... I do understand what I wrote you don't have to jump on me so quickly.  Maybe asking if that FAR OUT statement was actually what I thought.  It's not.  I have my animals.  I love my dogs and the cat I'm allergic to and I would do what I can to ensure they are happy, safe and healthy.  However that being said.  If I had to choose between my kids and my animals...  If I was forced to choose.  Not some willy nilly choice,  I would choose my children.  My animals would be found homes.  And since they're all loved by so many I doubt I would have a hard time finding them a forever home or a home that they could squat at until our situation stabilized.

[rcr]

Originally Posted by swede 

again, wow.  The condescension here is amazing.  You really don't think it's possible that someone might have to choose between feeding their children and feeding their dog??  Or maybe an elderly person needs to move into assisted living.  I really hope that your life never changes for the worse, because it seems like you are completely out of touch with reality.

Actually, you don't know me and I am not "out of touch with reality". I know reality quite well, in fact.  It is a bit of a stretch to say that, given that you don't know me and I was simply describing how I handle similar situations with my child.  And, yes, of course I can think that it is possible for somebody to have to give up their dog for legitimate reasons (in fact, I just had to re-home my mom's dog after she went into assisted living because she got to around stage 7 of Alzheimer's at the age of 55). I do not, however, think it is possible that up to 8 million dogs and cats (the estimated number of dogs and cats that enter shelters every year)  are there because their family simply had no money or got sick. To think that is the reason for the problems that humane societies face is "out of touch with reality"

[Imakcerka]

Whoa... how bout we all agree she should ensure the dog goes to a great forever home and she should not lie to her children.  Good?!

[Mulvah]

Originally Posted by Imakcerka 

Well to clarify, I was actually being sarcastic... Geez Mulvah... I do understand what I wrote you don't have to jump on me so quickly.  Maybe asking if that FAR OUT statement was actually what I thought.  It's not.  I have my animals.  I love my dogs and the cat I'm allergic to and I would do what I can to ensure they are happy, safe and healthy.  However that being said.  If I had to choose between my kids and my animals...  If I was forced to choose.  Not some willy nilly choice,  I would choose my children.  My animals would be found homes.  And since they're all loved by so many I doubt I would have a hard time finding them a forever home or a home that they could squat at until our situation stabilized.

No need to ask, you wrote it and I read it as it was written.  Perhaps you should indicate you're being sarcastic when writing something on a message board.  I know I don't tend to do that and I get called out on things I say, but I own what I say and I apologize when I'm wrong.

[Imakcerka]

Alright we're good.  You know I think I kind of asked for it because I did wonder if I should put that I was being sarcastic, but thought nah they'll probably know I"m being sarcastic.  meh... I"ll work on that.

Originally Posted by Mulvah 

No need to ask, you wrote it and I read it as it was written.  Perhaps you should indicate you're being sarcastic when writing something on a message board.  I know I don't tend to do that and I get called out on things I say, but I own what I say and I apologize when I'm wrong.

[swede]

Originally Posted by rcr 

Actually, you don't know me and I am not "out of touch with reality". I know reality quite well, in fact.  It is a bit of a stretch to say that, given that you don't know me and I was simply describing how I handle similar situations with my child.  And, yes, of course I can think that it is possible for somebody to have to give up their dog for legitimate reasons (in fact, I just had to re-home my mom's dog after she went into assisted living because she got to around stage 7 of Alzheimer's at the age of 55). I do not, however, think it is possible that up to 8 million dogs and cats (the estimated number of dogs and cats that enter shelters every year)  are there because their family simply had no money or got sick. To think that is the reason for the problems that humane societies face is "out of touch with reality"

Just basing my thoughts on what you said here -
 

Originally Posted by rcr 

We foster older dogs, and we are always honest with our DS about where they came frome "they came from somebody who was irresponsible and not kind to animals, so they sent him to the pound to di (in a cruel gas chamber, where we live), but he was one of the very very few lucky ones who got saved because we took him into our home to foster him" I suppose to be on the other end of that conversation - to be the one sending the dog away - would be more difficult.

You don't know that the former owner is irresponsible and unkind to animals. 

Which is it?  Your first post or your second?
 

[swede]

OP - I am sure this is very hard for you.  I would not lie to your kids.  I don't think you're a horrible person for having to give up your pets.  And most people, not on mothering ( where many posters tend to live in these idealized worlds) would understand that things don't always work out the way we'd like them too.

[swede]

Originally Posted by starrlamia 

i wouldnt suggest getting new pets in the future to someone who cant keep current pets.

OP- glad you have someone who can take her, you have to understand that those of us who work in rescue see this situation over and over again and 90% of the time it is a situation that could have turned out differently (such as finding an appartment that allows dogs), with the amount of pets euthanized every year and a lot of owner surrenders being bad and lazy excuses, most rescue people are going to be completely honest and upfront.

Since you're comparing children to animals, do you also think a woman who has given a up a baby for adoption shouldn't have future children?