How to explain to kids that our dog can't move with us. - Page 3

[rcr]

Originally Posted by swede 

Just basing my thoughts on what you said here -
 

You don't know that the former owner is irresponsible and unkind to animals. 

Which is it?  Your first post or your second?
 

Both are true. Our current dog came to us from a dog hoarder and was 30 lbs underweight, had numerous sever health issues, and I was truthful to DS about where he came from and how he was treated. The dog before that was beaten and afraid of everything and I was truthful to DS about that. The dog before that had been tied to a chain for 8 years and basically ignored, and was truthful to DS about that. If we got a foster who came from somebody who was actually nice to it, but just couldn't afford food or had to go into assisted living, we would tell DS that.

I didn't suggest that OP is unkind to animals. I simply told her what we tell DS when we get foster dogs. She was considering telling her children that the dog died, and I replied that my experience with dogs and our DS (in this case, those who we foster, not get rid of as OP is doing) is to be honest about the situation. Relax.

[rcr]

Originally Posted by swede 

Since you're comparing children to animals, do you also think a woman who has given a up a baby for adoption shouldn't have future children?

babies going up for adoption aren't killed. Most dogs given up to shelters are, often using painful methods. There is a bit of a difference here.

[swede]

Originally Posted by rcr 

babies going up for adoption aren't killed. Most dogs given up to shelters are, often using painful methods. There is a bit of a difference here.

Do you think a woman who has had an abortion should never have children in the future?

[rcr]

Originally Posted by swede 

Do you think a woman who has had an abortion should never have children in the future?

Actually, no, that would mean I wouldn't have DS . People who have abortions probably don't think that having an abortion  - an embryo - is the same as killing a dog that has already been born, either, although certainly there are vast differences of opinions on this matter. Our country legally does not view unborn children under a certain age of gestation as people yet. You know, because abortion is legal and murder is not.  I don't see how it is relevant.

[Imakcerka]

Can you two PM each other?  maybe... thanks...

[swede]

Originally Posted by Imakcerka 

Can you two PM each other?  maybe... thanks...

No- I think this is relevant for the op bcause of all the snide, condescending and hurtful remarks she has gotten in response to her question.

[LCBMAX]

Theoretically it could be relevant for the op, but only if your exchange bops up to a mutually compassionate and respectful tone... as it stands, I'm not sure of the relevance except that she can continue to see how strongly we all hold our opinions and might reasonably shy away from further posting on touchy subjects. I'm with deliciously sarcastic imacerka who had a nonsarcastic suggestion, the swede/rcr thing might go better as pms.

(I meant p.m. plural!)

Originally Posted by swede 

No- I think this is relevant for the op bcause of all the snide, condescending and hurtful remarks she has gotten in response to her question.

[Imakcerka]

Honesltly it's not relevant at all.  At this point you're trying to one up or trip the other up.  I know it's probably enjoyable for you guys but the OP probably will not be back now anyway and we could probably use this forum to come up with good alternatives for those in this situation. 

Quote:

Originally Posted by swede 

No- I think this is relevant for the op bcause of all the snide, condescending and hurtful remarks she has gotten in response to her question.

[rcr]

Originally Posted by Imakcerka 



Honesltly it's not relevant at all.  At this point you're trying to one up or trip the other up.  I know it's probably enjoyable for you guys but the OP probably will not be back now anyway and we could probably use this forum to come up with good alternatives for those in this situation. 


Quote:

My appologies if you took my responses to her questions as trying to trip her up. I thought I was simply answering her questions.

[swede]

Originally Posted by Imakcerka 

Honesltly it's not relevant at all.  At this point you're trying to one up or trip the other up.  I know it's probably enjoyable for you guys but the OP probably will not be back now anyway and we could probably use this forum to come up with good alternatives for those in this situation. 

Quote:

This is not enjoyable for me at all.  I'm a real person and I was truly shocked at how so many posters were responding to the op, who, I am very sure, is not making this decision lightly.  I was really trying to understand the logic behind some of these posts, because they really did not make any sense to me.

[AdinaL]

Okay folks....this discussion has gone off the rails someplace.

MDC doesn't host abortion debate - which somehow, this thread in PETS has veered into.  So, that conversation needs to stop, and you need to return to the topic.  If this thread continues to get nastier and it isn't possible to stay on topic, I will close it.

[starrlamia]

work in rescue or a shelter for a while and you will understand why many of us are very passionate and speak out against people who give up their animals. The OP gave us no info in the first post to know the dog had a home, a large majority of animals who end up in shelters are there because people are moving and "cant" take them with them, however for a vast majority of those who "cant" it equates to wont or are too lazy to deal with any issues that have arisen due to moving.

 

Originally Posted by swede 

This is not enjoyable for me at all.  I'm a real person and I was truly shocked at how so many posters were responding to the op, who, I am very sure, is not making this decision lightly.  I was really trying to understand the logic behind some of these posts, because they really did not make any sense to me.

[swede]

Originally Posted by starrlamia 

work in rescue or a shelter for a while and you will understand why many of us are very passionate and speak out against people who give up their animals. The OP gave us no info in the first post to know the dog had a home, a large majority of animals who end up in shelters are there because people are moving and "cant" take them with them, however for a vast majority of those who "cant" it equates to wont or are too lazy to deal with any issues that have arisen due to moving.

 

You really don't know what the vast majority of people's reasons are.  Even if you think you do.  You may think they are lazy, but you don't know what people are dealing with.  I'm glad you feel passionate about animals.  Great.  But there is not reason to attack someone who has found it necessary to give up a family pet.

[rainsmom]

Yes - it has run a bit off the rails.

But you gotta know that posting something like the OP did - in a PET section of this forum - where there are dog lovers and people such as myself who do rescue - is bound to get

a bit heated and even judgmental.  She didnt give us the info that the dog had a home - and its a little bizarre as to why she would then need to LIE to her children which made her feel in her words "chicken shit"......  

Im just hoping as I said before that she does right by her kids, her family and this dog who has given them 12 years of loyalty - he deserves as much.......

[starrlamia]

Actually it isnt the least bit unusual for people to give information when they drop off their pets, people who dont make the effort to look for apartments that take pets, people who dont feel like putting in the effort of training their pets, people who want to make room for new pets, etc etc, are there sometimes extenuating circumstances? Yes, but for the majority of people no, highly unlikely, unfortunately pets are viewed as a commodity to many people and something that can be dumped or given away when the one doesnt feel like putting forth the effort.

I dont feel like the OP was attacked, she gave very vague details so assumptions were made which is completely normal.

 

Originally Posted by swede 

You really don't know what the vast majority of people's reasons are.  Even if you think you do.  You may think they are lazy, but you don't know what people are dealing with.  I'm glad you feel passionate about animals.  Great.  But there is not reason to attack someone who has found it necessary to give up a family pet.

[tonttu]

Aaannnd ...as my fellow pet lovers will probably agree on , some people make the decision very lightly ( and I am saying this generally ) on giving up a pet !

We move to where they won´t accept pets , ... oh well , let´s get rid of it !

So people who have to deal with those kind of decisions , do tend to get understandably emotional about this

My advice , try to take her , if that´s not possible and you have REALLY tried everything , find her a loving new place for the time , she has left and if that´s not possible , put her to sleep , and don´t make an old , sick dog go through the trauma of losing , what she loves most in the World , her family , go through dying alone in a shelter   

[lexapurple]

Originally Posted by txgal 

I don't even know what to say to most of you so I will just say thank you to LCBMAX for not assuming the worst and giving me some advice that I can actually use.  For the record I will not be taking her to the pound, I have a friend that is willing to take her and she will be well taken care of.

Tell your kids the truth, that you can not take her with you to the appartment. 

We moved overseas and had to rehome 2 out our 3 dogs, and later take back the one that we took along because we got a live in job there dogs are not allowed. DD who was 3 at the time was sad of course but settled about the issue very soon. All of our dogs are with friends and family and we could see them when we come back. 

Several month before that another one of our dogs got sick and died, now three years latter she cries about her and asks why it has happened at least once a month. It is comforting for her to know that her friends are with people who care about them very well.

[lexapurple]

I have worked in the shelter and with several rescues and done rescue on my own. Majority of people take the decision of getting a pet too lightly and get them in situations when they should not. A lot of people who post on craigslist for example, have lame excuses, like I just got this puppy last week but I will have a baby next week bla-bla-bla, so I understand where the hostility of rescue people comes from. But have been on the other side of the fence, I think a lot of time pet people forget that those dog owner are humans too, and don't give a benefit of a doubt to them and consider that making a decision to give up you pet doesn't come lightly. I am not in any way saying that it is Ok to dump your pet, but have some mercy for people too. 

Her post was full of triggers, but she also asked a specific question on how to explain pet loss to her children. 

work in rescue or a shelter for a while and you will understand why many of us are very passionate and speak out against people who give up their animals. The OP gave us no info in the first post to know the dog had a home, a large majority of animals who end up in shelters are there because people are moving and "cant" take them with them, however for a vast majority of those who "cant" it equates to wont or are too lazy to deal with any issues that have arisen due to moving.