Hi, I'm having a bit of a dilemma. So I started off college like most at 18, right after highschool, lived in the dorm, etc like my parents wanted but during the first year had a lot of personal problems and basically was just really, really homesick and decided to transfer closer to home so I could live with my parents. After that I just really lost interest in college, never really figured out what I wanted to do and never had a spark for it. When I was 20 I finally figured out that I wanted to be a teacher so transferred yet again to a different school and majored in teaching. I really loved it and was very good at it, and then I met my husband lol. We met online, I lived in the states and he lived in England. I did a semester abroad in the UK and we met and fell in love. At that point we didn't know what to do, my parents were adamant that I finish my degree so we decided to have a long distance relationship and see each other over the summer while I took as many classes as possible to finish quickly so I could move to the UK and be with him.
Then I got pregnant, and well it all went south. My dad was very against me moving to the UK because it's impossible to transfer US credits over to UK schools, but eventually we formulated a plan where I would go to an online school. So that's what I did, and last year moved to the UK. But in the midst of getting married, moving to the UK, and just altogether being pregnant, I sorta flaked out on all my classes and failed every single one. My parents don't know about it, they paid for the classes as usual so it's something I feel very badly about.
My baby was born last July, and my dad was pressuring me to take summer classes. I put my foot down and said no, I can't take a class with a newborn, I just won't have time. He was pretty angry about it and didn't understand. Then he tried pressuring me into taking fall classes. Again I said no, I have no time. My baby is pretty high needs, doesn't nap, and wants to be with me 24/7. There's no way I can take a course with that.
So now it's winter, and my dad again is pressuring me into taking a class. My baby is 5 months old, still doesn't nap, and we have a 10 week old puppy. Oh and we're moving house in a few weeks. Think I'm going to have time for a class? No! I tried telling him this, but he freaked out. He said you must finish your degree, you need an option just in case DH's job is lost or you divorce or something. He keeps pressuring me and pressuring me, but I know that if I take a course it's going to be just like last year and I will fail it. There's no point. I don't have time, I barely have time to use the toilet every day lol.
So after lots of contemplating of this issue, I've realised that I just don't have any motivation to finish my degree. I'm planning on being a stay at home mom indefinitely. My husband has a very stable job, and I just don't want to be a teacher anymore. I want to raise my daughter, homeschool, and just enjoy her growing up. The only thing that ties me to finishing my degree is the fact that my parents essentially wasted thousands upon thousands of dollars paying for my education thus far, and it's not fair to them that it was all for nothing. I have to finish for them, but I just don't know how I'm going to plough through it with my DD. I'm so into being a mom right now, it eats up every second of my day. How can I get into student mode again, when there's just nothing there for me?
Just to give you a better glance at the situation, both of my parents are overachievers. They both came from lower middle class families and worked really, really hard to get where they are today. Both went to Ivy league schools on full scholarships, both worked full time when I was growing up, and have very high expectations for my siblings and me. They don't understand that I just want to be a mom, because when I was my DD's age they both worked full time and my mom was still a med student on top of that. They did it, why can't I? I don't even work! That's what they're thinking and it's hard to explain to them otherwise. Actually it's impossible. My dad is being really hard on me for this and I feel horrible disappointing him. It was hard enough moving away from my family to be in England, but I feel like I'm really letting him down on top of that.
Anyways sorry for the long post, but I could really use some advice.