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Halfway through my university degree but just don't want to do it anymore - Page 2

post #21 of 29

if you don't mind my asking, after a few days reading all the answers, I am now curious to know how many semesters you did in what subject, how many semesters you have left if you wanted to finish what you had initially started

don't answer me if it upsets you or you find me impertinent, I am just curious ...

post #22 of 29

I will tell you a story....

I went to college- just like you- I got 3 years in- I have about 1.5 years left to go.

I met my XH at 21- I planned to get my degree when we moved 5 states away to be near his family- instead I got pregnant at 22.

than I got pregnant again at 25.

AND I stayed at home.....

Then we got a divorce.... I have two kids 6 and 8- no degree.

I honestly can not get better than a min wage job since being a single mom- 6 hours from my family means I have no support to be able to work OT etc....( you would be a country away from yours)

So I clean houses for a living because it is flexible so I can still see my kids..... and get social services.

I planned to get my doctorate degree in psychology- but then I just wanted to be with my babies- but I should have been securing our future- cause there is no divorce insurance.

I thought just like you- and look where it got me.



post #23 of 29

I don't think you are immature at all- you are a new mommy and a new wife. !!!! What you feel is natural- but I think you should take a class or two and get it done- by the time they are in school you can have a decent paying job.

post #24 of 29

I think you should wait until you're ready.  While I don't have a degree I have experience and IT certifications.  Without my degree finished... I swear I'm going to do it someday, I make enough so that my husband can stay home and there are no worries.  However I think he should get on the ball with his education, what if I leave him?  Ha... I kid.  


Preparing for the worst is kind of pointless to me, you have to want to do it.  You have to want to go to school.  

post #25 of 29

well this sort of underlines the trouble -- as i see it -- with parents paying for a child's education... after that child is no longer a child. most of the time (it used to be anyways), parents would "send" their child to college immediately upon graduation from high school, and some combination of the parents' savings, the child's savings, student loans and grants would pay for the education. the child would attend college for 4 years, from about age 18 till graduation at about age 22. upon which, the child would graduate with a college degree, get a job and start building a life financially independent of his or her parents.


i think it gets more complicated the older you get and the further removed you are from being a "child." which, as a young married with child, you are already starting to be.


if you want tips on how to balance going to school with mothering a young child, why not check out the working and student with children mothering forum?

post #26 of 29
Originally Posted by Imakcerka View Post

While I don't have a degree I have experience and IT certifications.  Without my degree finished... I swear I'm going to do it someday, I make enough so that my husband can stay home and there are no worries.   

Yep. I know people without degrees who are doing just fine, and people with them that aren't. The conventional wisdom that a degree equals security is extremely out of date. (may be it was true back in the 60's?)


I don't think maturity has anything to do with wanting to be home full time. Losing interesting in my masters wasn't caused by immaturity. Heck, one of my friends was a successful attorney before she had kids. She went back to work and within the first week realize that she no longer gave a sh*t about her career, she just wanted to be with her baby. She so quit.


post #27 of 29

Just want you to know, OP, that I'm with you. I was pregnant at 19 and dropped out of college after only one year. I'm now married and a SAHM to three. Never been back to college and I have no prospects. If DH were to up and leave...well...it would be bad. That said, I'm extremely confident in my relationship with my husband. I have no concerns that he's going to leave me. I'm not going to spend my days worried about how I would make it if he were to die. I just don't feel as though that is a healthy attitude, at least for me. That doesn't mean we haven't prepared at least a little something, but its not what I'm going to base my life around.


Also, I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up. Sure, I was in college with a major and double minor...but seriously, I don't think it would've done me any good. And I wouldn't have been happy with it long term. After I had my second and third babies, I realized I wanted to go into birth. I'm not sure as what, yet, but that's where I want to be, with birth mamas, helping to empower them. A degree in history would've been totally wasted not to mention a huge waste of money as I'm going to have to get education specifically in birth/nursing/midwifery whatever. 


I don't think its bad at all that you want to take the time you have and spend it with your family. In fact, I think its pretty darn important. And it gives you the time to grow as an individual and figure out what career will make you happy through the rest of your adult life. 


I do have to agree, that a college degree doesn't guarantee anything. My bestie just finished her masters and keeps getting passed up because she doesn't have experience. She can't get experience because even for entry level positions she needs experience. She's now working retail for minimum wage and living with her parents in an attempt to start to pay off nearly $100000 of debt. There's been tons and tons of news coverage about how few college grads are getting jobs right now. Sure, its going to wax and wane with the economy, but its not fair to say you need to get a degree just to fall back on. It really doesn't work that way. And Linda on the Move had a great point, just because you have a degree doesn't mean you won't need further education in five or ten years when you are starting to transition back into the workforce. Chances are, you will. 


Take your time and enjoy being a SAHM, OP. Go back when you are ready and have a clearer idea of what you want. I don't think that that is immature at all.

post #28 of 29
Another thought. It took me six years to get my BA degree. What about attending part time? Some semesters, I took one class, others more. You could choose to finish slowly, especially if it's paid for. You might even enjoy an interesting course & it could end up being something you look forward to each week. My accredited, top rated university has a part time division geared towards non-traditional students - there are legitimate part time options out there.
post #29 of 29

How long until you qualify for free tuition at a UK university? I'd be considering that. I can see both sides in this thread--I do think finishing one's degree is important, but only you know whether you can get your butt in gear enough to do it, be that now or a year or two from now. And while I think that having the degree is valuable even if you don't know what you want to do--it means once you do figure out, you're in a better position--I also think that if/when you figure out what you do want to do, you can typically make it happen one way or the other. Your kids will not always be so young and dependent, and you may find yourself wanting to switch gears at some point.

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