January 2012 Whatever Ladies Are All Done Having Their Babies! - Page 7

[onetwoten]

Super behind on the thread. The only thing I remember offhand is being 'taught' chores. I never got any of that teaching from my parents- my mother isn't very domestic, but we were expected to do chores each day from about age 7 or 8 onwards. So I grew up with the knowledge that the bathroom, living room, porch, etc get cleaned every day (each of us kids got to pick one). We would tidy, dust, vaccuum etc every day.... which I always thought was ridiculous, but then when I went away to school and came back home to visit after the other kids had stopped being made to do chores... and I totally saw the benefit. The house was so much grosser when we weren't doing them every day. 

That said-- no way I do them every day here. I would ideally clean the bathroom once per week (doesn't happen), and the fridge gets cleaned out 3-4 times a year. We've been here 4 years and I don't think we've ever cleaned under the fridge though. We have laminate flooring, and it really should be swept every day (but doesn't...) and I'm with the majority here... it only gets washed (swiffered) on rare ocassions. Although once every two weeks would probably have it looking prettier. 

In us news... got DD's hazelwood necklace. Very excited about that. DH measured though, and it's huuuuge on her, so we have to keep a good eye to make sure it's staying tucked into her shirt. 

Bought my stroller yesterday!! She's been fussy since we brought it home though, so other than watching DH set it up, I haven't had much chance to actually play around with it. So excited though! 

Urg. So I bought a wetbag from a local company. 1.5 weeks into using it, the stitching at the top zipper started totally coming apart at an alarming rate. I emailed them, and they apolgozied and said they'd send me a new one. That was on the 16th, and so it should have gone out the next week... on the 19th or shortly after. I still haven't gotten it... And I emailed them again last week, and they said it went in the mail "a few days ago" and should be here soon. *sigh* It's been three whole weeks, and while I get that there were holidays in there... that's ridiculous. Mail locally here should only take 2-3 business days, not 15. 

LLL meeting today! Excited, especially since I actually am having issues again. DD opens big and wide to latch, but then as soon as she gets on, she clamps her mouth down tight, and pulls off a bit. It seems like she does better at night when she's more tired, but I can't figure out the connection. She's just been playing sooo much lately... she'll only nurse for 5 minutes or so, but then want to play around- clamping, nibbling, tweaking my nipples with her hands, etc. And if I try to pull her away, she shrieks at me. *sigh*

[akind1]

thankfully I have never had nipple twiddler nurslings!

you may try a long nursing necklace (think like a large indestructible pendant or large beads) for her to play with while nursing. Norah likes to grab my shirt or a fold of boob, but otherwise is pretty focused on eating.

as for the how in latching - maybe when she's tired she goes back to latching the *right* way - as in she's on autopilot and not thinking about it. where as if she's bright eyed and awake, she's more likely to experiment? Does she do this in all positions? I find Norah gets down to business better in the football hold (otherwise she does latch and unlatch alot b/c she wants to grin and talk to me - so sweet! - but really, I need to get other stuff done too :( )

but also, I can't do football hold everywhere, esp as she gets bigger.

You are not going to want to look under your fridge or stove. but it is a thing that really *should* be done.

That sucks about the bag! I gave up on wetbags and I just use the disposable sort. we use them at home also for poop diapers (holds in the smell better, even within the diaper pail)  and containing poopy wipes.

[MarineWife]

JJ ~ Maybe she's trying to control the flow of milk?

What size necklace did you get? I got a 13" one for Dylan. It looked tiny but fits perfectly.

[Baby_Cakes]

Ooh i hope I remember everything I want to comment on!

MW - Chris is the same with papers.  He's terrible. We do all our bill pay online and he still keeps paper statements and bills that come.  I never know what to toss when it comes in.

Cleaning a drain - it depends on your sink or tub.  The tub for me is easy, just unscrew the little drain at the bottom, and then go in and pull out all the hair.  The sink is trickier.  You have to unscrew the stopper from the back down below, and then pull up the stopper.  Reconnecting it all can b tricky.  We have a pedestal sink so it's all open in the back.

JJ - great about the hazelwood!  I hope you're as happy with yours as we are with ours.  It's like a little miracle necklace.  And woo hoo I'm so glad you got your stroller!! I'm still on the lookout for a used one on craigslist.  Let me know how good it is when you get a chance to use it!!

I've also never done under the stove or fridge.  Whoops.

We always just waited til things got gross before cleaning them.  That doesn't work so well anymore.  I'm finding wiping things down and doing things daily helps so much and keeps things looking so much nicer.

[AnnieA]

JJ, that's awesome that you got your stroller! FWIW, DD hated the stroller until about 6 weeks ago. Now she loves it. She grins and laughs the whole time she's in it until she reaches her limit and then she screams until I pick her up. But she usually tolerates it long enough for me to get done whatever I need to in the store.

RE: cleaning. I wish I was better about doing a little bit each day. Usually by the time I've made it through the morning with DD, I have hardly had time to eat much less do any cleaning. The bathrooms are a wreck though so I'm going to try to get those done before the other kids come home Friday evening.

I just have to say that DD has become such a delight the past couple of weeks. She's turning in to such an easy baby! (well aside from the couple of days from hell after the synagis med) I hope that the upcoming surgery doesn't change that too much. She's sleeping well, she's eating well. She can play for a bit by herself. She's not crying as much in the car. She loves to go on errands and see new people. When we are at home, I can lay down with her even if she isn't asleep yet and she will just cuddle up and go to sleep. It's so great! She'll be six months old on Tuesday.

I haven't decided yet when to give her solids. Can I admit that I'm kind of not wanting to start solids because I'm happy with our current diaper-washing routine?!?

[akind1]

The only + to giving solids is that sometimes, the poop is ploppable - which is so nice w/ CDs. but it smells worse, and in our case DS pooped more often. Though I think we didn't have consistent ploppable poos until he was fully weaned.

So glad you are in a nice stretch with Ava.  Norah has always been pretty easy - but now she's a delightful, really happy, easy baby. I wish Gabe would become an easy toddler, but i don't know if those exist. And really, compared to others' toddlers, he IS pretty easy.

Everyone's facebook statuses this morning were about how long their babies slept last night (and these are all babies younger than Norah - and they are formula fed). Now, I'm not jealous exactly. But I would like to get to a point where she's sleeping a good stretch in the bassinette. I love co-sleeping at this age - she's big enough not to worry about too much but doesn't move around a whole lot and take up 1/2 of a king sized bed - but I kind of got used to sleeping without a baby in the bed.

Question of the day: regarding our thread title: (January 2012 Whatever Ladies are all done having their babies) - how many of us really are "all done"?

I am done for now. I definitely want one more, and somedays, so does DH (last night wasn't one of them!) but I think I don't want to have the next one until Norah is around 3; that way I can nurse her for as much of the 2 year recommendation as we both want, and maybe she'll be potty-trained.  OTOH, I wouldn't mind being a surrogate for someone either - it's a thought that's been in my head - but I have read that sometimes women with prior c-sections aren't considered good candidates?

Oh, and yesterday Gabe had little joy in him, bless his heart. As soon as I got home from work, he was violently rejecting DH. Wanted to do things himself, or with me, and not DH at all. Which 1)doesn't make DH feel very good 2)sometimes he tries to force the issue, which only makes it worse 3)makes me dealing with Norah sometimes very, very, hard. A lot of the problem was because it was pouring all.day. yesterday, there was no outside time, and Gabe needs outside time like he needs food and water. We did take him out shopping with us after dinner (that didn't go great either) and as soon as we got home he was in full meltdown mode so to bed he went. DH insisted on doing it and 2 hours later, he still wasn't asleep, so they came down, and Gabe cuddled with me on the couch for another hour and went back up to bed pretty easily that time. But it was not a good day.

Funny thing though: we were in the grocery store and Gabe had a little buggy and tried to put a watermelon in it. He can carry it ok, but couldn't get it in the buggy. LOL it was pretty cute.

[Baby_Cakes]

Annie - I don't blame you about waiting for solids longer!  I'm happy with ebf poo.  I thought about it yesterday b/c now he's 5 months and I suppose we are getting close.  But...in all honesty he's not anywhere near ready.  He isn't sitting yet, still has a tongue thrust, no teeth, can't even get his teethers reliably to his mouth, and he's not showing any interest.  So.  I have time!

Kat - Good question.  I thought we were done.  Remember we were talking vasectomy?  Well, DH is now on the fence, and while I'm feeling as done as I possibly could feel, he's just not ready to say never.  I think it's b/c right now the "burden" (I can't think of a better word, but I don't mean it negatively) of parenting is on me.  Caring for two littles is tough -- as you ALL know.  And since Nora is anti-daddy, and Finn is still an infant, he's really not too busy with raising these kids right now.  He's sleeping well all by himself elsewhere in the house.  All he deals with is a few meltdowns and potty accidents here and there.  A diaper or two.  It's not the same as being mama 24/7.  So.  I'm just saying he and I are BOTH in very different places regarding having more kids.  We shall see what happens.  I'm happy with our two and want to go on to the next chapter.

I'm so sorry about your rough day with Gabe.  I so hear you on it and am sending out some hugs and lots of patience!  Those days are so hard.

We had a big rainstorm last night and lost power for a bit.  It was while we were all sleeping so I didn't realize it until I was woken up by the sound of the gps beeping (stupid thing doesn't even work, I'm not sure why it's plugged in) and all the night lights were out.  I was worried Nora would wake up and panic being in total darkness, but she didn't.  I didn't hear a peep from her until she was at the foot of my bed asking to get in.  I think it was around 3 or so in the morning.  Not bad.

We slept ok.  I think we just have good nights and bad nights with no patterns.  I'm through trying to figure it out, and I'm done worrying.  We've survived every stage so far, whether or not we had control over it.  There is such a short time in their lives that they are dependent on us, so might as well try to enjoy it.  Right?

[akind1]

Yes, we try to enjoy it! With Gabe, it's usually not several hours of constant hair-pulling - there are usually moments of bliss even in the chaos - when you get him to giggle uncontrollably, or just cuddle a bit.  I try to focus on those.

Funny thing is - I do most of the parenting and I am fare more open to *more* kids than DH; last night was one of those nights I could tell he was done LOL

but like the other evening when he was holding and talking to Norah, he said he almost understood families like the Duggars (the 19+kids and counting) - if he could, he'd always have a baby in the house. I don't feel that way, mostly because I really do want to be done nursing eventually. But he's not the one feeding the baby!

At least the power went out while you were sleeping! it makes things a bit easier. (no need to entertain a todder in the dark)

[MarineWife]

That's not what the title was supposed to me. It's supposed to mean that all of us are done having the babies we had been pg with, as opposed to being done having all our babies. Maybe I should have put it the other way around? I actually spent quite a bit of time trying to figure out which way fit. Anyone is welcome to suggest something else.

WRT: solids. I wouldn't expect much change in poo for a while if you allow baby to feed herself. She will most likely still get most of her nourishment from breastmilk with just a few nibbles of solids thrown in. The poos only change drastically if you go to the spoon feeding solid food schedule that a lot of people follow.

I feel like crap this morning. I think Dylan slept ok last night but I, apparently, did not. I actually cried when I woke up this morning because I'm feeling so overwhelmed right now. I think a lot of it has to do with trying to get things worked out for Ethan's birthday. I'm so tired of having to do all this special stuff on my own. I'm not one of those people that likes planning parties and running all over town picking up presents and cakes and balloons.

I don't have anyone to watch Ethan at a workable time so that I can go shopping without him. I was planning to go yesterday before Ryan went to work but Dylan did something weird with his nap schedule and it started pouring down rain. I actually considered leaving him home alone for an hour or so so that I could get him some presents. We practiced using the home phone. It's magic jack and didn't always work but seems to be working now. I even looked up the law in NC. Did you know that most states don't have a law or any regulations about minimum age for leaving children home alone? I probably could leave Ethan home alone. He's certainly smart and responsible enough. The only problem would be that he might get scared. So, IDK. I may do that today if I feel up to it.

[akind1]

I know that's not what it's supposed to mean, I was just curious among ourselves, who actually is "done"

I cried the other day on the way to a play date. Norah wouldn't keep her paci in, and I had to keep pulling over, and I don't like pulling over on the interstate, so tookk an exit and pulled over someplace. wouldn't you know, I got back on the interstate the wrong way? and didn't realize it until I was almost home. I totally cried on the way there, but I was so glad I went!

I hope Ethan's party goes well, I know he'll like it.

Honestly, if you are comfortable with leaving E for an hour or two. You won't be going far (not like you're shopping in Wilmington or something) and surely he can do the phone, assuming it's working. I think most of the laws have to do with leaving children with younger siblilngs, and I think that's like 11. (IIRC)

[annie2186]

OMG - I am soooo behind! 

I always think it is funny to see what and how other people clean. Growing up we *did* clean things. Every Sat. was the main house cleaning day. Every kid had a room, etc. Now, my mom was a deep cleaner. If you cleaned something and didn't wipe down or pull things out of corners and put them away you might as well not have cleaned AT ALL  I mean, dirty ok, deep cleaned ok, somewhere in the middle was not ok at all.

Well, my husband is borderline OCD (I, of course, diagnosed him myself) and also the exact opposite to what I did growing up. He is more of a surface cleaner and throw crap in corners so it looks clean type person. So, together we do pretty good. He surface cleans and think he does stuff, I actually DO all the hard things and get no credit :P he he he

Anyways - my house is usually pretty kept up with just because it really *truly* bothers him if it isn't. I mean, his dirty is probably most everyone else's pretty darn clean! Also, he does help clean and since his OCD kicks in, will do it all if I don't get to it in a reasonable amount of time. Just like it wouldn't be fair to me to do all the cleaning - I don't think it is fair to him. That's not to say it isn't one of the main fights in our marriage 

Cleaning under fridge........ummmmm no.

Cleaning out the fridge (as in wiping it down not taking out yucky food) - hardly ever. Once or twice a year at the most. I hate it.

There is no under my stove here, but not something I would do either.

I have NEVER cleaned out the inside of any stove. Apparently this is something people do.

I am with whoever said they need to mop their floors a couple times a week - have too.

Dishes are kept up on and no counter clutter just because that is a huge trigger for the PITA hubby of mine.

Should clean my bathroom once a week - the main one probably does mostly. The other two, not so much 

The laundry is pretty kept up on. As soon as the dryer is done I take all the nice clothes and lay them flat and leave the socks, underwear and pj's. I have a hard time getting around to putting them away - but at least they are clean!!!.......right? LOL

I also have to deep clean my carpet due to the nasty color of it - shows everything. Stupid carpet. Probably do that 4-6 times a year in the main floor. 1-3 times on the bottom floor.

Never have I ever done it on my top floor.............

The one thing I am really bad about is washing sheets and what not. I mean, babies and kids sure, cause they pee, puke, or poop on them at least once a week. But once they get older? I never even think about it. I had NO idea people wash such things once a week (or even once a month ) It was something my mom never did. Funny how that carries over!

That is all I can think of now - but yes, I have had to completely re-learn how to clean to get along with my hubby. I would deep clean one room and leave the rest of the house and he would come home and be like WTF?? while I was all proud of the one room that I took 7 hours cleaning Yeah, those convo's didn't go so well!

Oh yeah! My husband is a hoarder as well!! I thought he was a weirdo. I guess all guys are - ha ha.

[MarineWife]

Oh, well, we're done. I woke up this morning thinking that I had bitten off more than I can chew by having D. I wanted another baby so badly but now I feel so overwhelmed by it all. I love him as I do all my children but I feel like I can't take care of any of them as well as I want. I'm so tired of everything. I can't stand the way D wiggles and squirms and kicks when he's nursing. I can't stand how hyper and loud K is. I can't stand how bossy and aggressive E is toward K.

It might be different if Sean were home but I don't know. During one fight we had when he was home, I just wanted him to take D so that I could do some laundry. I was standing at the machines moving laundry around and D was on the floor fussing. Sean was just sitting in the living room ignoring him. I had to yell at Sean to get him. I said something about just wanting a little time to myself to get things done. Sean's response was to say that maybe I shouldn't have become a mother, then. I was so hurt. The sense was that D was my child and he was rejecting both of us.

I don't know if I can ever trust him to really care for us again. He used to be such a caring, loving person. That was the thing that made me fall in love with him. He took care of me and Ryan, which I had never had before. Now it seems like he thinks making the money is all he has to do. But then he talks about how he wants to do baseball with E and play with K when he feels left out. I feel very alone and abandoned.

I can't believe I'm telling you all of this. I've been keeping it all inside and trying to act like everything will be ok but I just don't know.

WRT leaving kids alone, a lot of site had recommendations about not leaving older siblings under 12 in charge of younger siblings. I would take D and K with me so it would just be E at home.

[annie2186]

I didn't think that is what the thread title meant either MW - I think Kat was just asking a question. 

Sorry you feel so overwhelmed  I couldn't imagine. I was watching an a couple kids for someone I *kinda* know. (It was an emergency work thing) and her husband is deployed right now. I gave her some of our dinner (oh, that is another thing my hubby does well, he is an excellent chef!)........ugh - I couldn't do it

I think they really don't have laws about leaving kids home alone because it would really depend on the kid. Some kids could stay home by themselves at 8, while others would really not be ready at all. I don't even think they really have laws about babysitting, but I think here it is about 12 that seems socially acceptable. 

I am really done right now (having kids that is). I don't think we will be doing anything permanent just because of our beliefs, etc so you never know! I am only 26 - and that is a lot of years of fertility ahead of me.

Did I tell you all that A is pretty much self-weaning? I am so sad  Ever since I started going back to work she has been slowly refusing the breast, and now she won't take it at all (I mean, really really refusing) and only accepting bottles. She has always been a non-nurser. Kind of a get on, get off, have to do this even though I hate it, type baby. 

So, my pump just isn't really getting much anymore - even though I started taking fenugreek and eating oatmeal and brewers yeast. I am trying not to sink into mommy guilt - I don't know what else I could have done........I doubt she would have went much into toddlerhood since she *never* comfort nursed, but not even a year??? WTF?? 

I was reading online about a certain probiotic that is cultured from breastmilk - so basically it is a super concentrated breastmilk. I think I will probably start giving her that (as well as my other kids)

Do any of you give a vitamin D supplement? The baby ones are only 400IU.......I would really hate to buy that for the baby. I give my other kids about 2000IU at least 3 times a week. I am wondering if I just give her 1000IU twice a week........She seriously does not get any sun exposure right now. It is freezing. Maybe I will look it up. 

The daily recommendations for vitamin D are ridiculously low..........

[MarineWife]

I don't give vitamin D even though the pediatrician pushes it. I really think the phenomena with rickets coming back is because people avoid the sun to an extreme. According to my LLL book, all a baby needs is a few minutes a day of even just his head/face exposed to sun for his body to produce enough vitamin D.

WRT to the weaning, it could just be a nursing strike. Some babies go through that at a particular age. I think A is around that age. I say keep offering. She may come back to it.

[annie2186]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

Oh, well, we're done. I woke up this morning thinking that I had bitten off more than I can chew by having D. I wanted another baby so badly but now I feel so overwhelmed by it all. I love him as I do all my children but I feel like I can't take care of any of them as well as I want. I'm so tired of everything. I can't stand the way D wiggles and squirms and kicks when he's nursing. I can't stand how hyper and loud K is. I can't stand how bossy and aggressive E is toward K.
It might be different if Sean were home but I don't know. During one fight we had when he was home, I just wanted him to take D so that I could do some laundry. I was standing at the machines moving laundry around and D was on the floor fussing. Sean was just sitting in the living room ignoring him. I had to yell at Sean to get him. I said something about just wanting a little time to myself to get things done. Sean's response was to say that maybe I shouldn't have become a mother, then. I was so hurt. The sense was that D was my child and he was rejecting both of us.
I don't know if I can ever trust him to really care for us again. He used to be such a caring, loving person. That was the thing that made me fall in love with him. He took care of me and Ryan, which I had never had before. Now it seems like he thinks making the money is all he has to do. But then he talks about how he wants to do baseball with E and play with K when he feels left out. I feel very alone and abandoned.
I can't believe I'm telling you all of this. I've been keeping it all inside and trying to act like everything will be ok but I just don't know.
WRT leaving kids alone, a lot of site had recommendations about not leaving older siblings under 12 in charge of younger siblings. I would take D and K with me so it would just be E at home.

 I hope things settle for you soon! I do know a lot of women that have a lot of kids (being catholic and all) and even though they weren't happy while doing it - they are all happy now that their kids are grown. Just survive and this too shall pass.

I unfortunately have no advice about PITA husbands 

[annie2186]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

I don't give vitamin D even though the pediatrician pushes it. I really think the phenomena with rickets coming back is because people avoid the sun to an extreme. According to my LLL book, all a baby needs is a few minutes a day of even just his head/face exposed to sun for his body to produce enough vitamin D.
WRT to the weaning, it could just be a nursing strike. Some babies go through that at a particular age. I think A is around that age. I say keep offering. She may come back to it.

I don't even know what rickets is - but vitamin D3 is ahhhhmazzzing! My kids used to have a runny nose and cough almost the whole winter and now they don't get it at all. If it wasn't for that wierdo bit with the stomach bug from hell, we wouldn't have really gotten sick for almost two years now. Which, is nuts for me! 

That is why I want to start giving it to A if she isn't going to be nursing anymore. (I can only get about 3-4 ounces a day for her) I just would hate to spend 20 bucks on 400IU dosage (which is a crap amount) if I can spend 20 on a 1000IU dosage.

Yes, I will keep offering to A. I don't have much hope though - because she has just BEEN one big nursing strike. She has never nursed at all unless I am laying down in bed with her and or she is starving. Now she won't even do it in the middle of the night while she is half asleep. Offering it actually wakes her up and pisses her off. sooooo annoying 

I know at 2 you can give them 2000IU a day. So It would make sense that I can give a one year old 1000IU 3 times a week...........

[MarineWife]

Rickets is the bone disorder that is caused from deficient vitamin D. There has been an upsurge in children with rickets recently, which is why doctors are now recommending vitamin D supplementation for breastfed babies. You have to be careful about vitamin D dosing because it is a fat soluble substance. Unlike something like vitamin C, which is water soluble so the body just flushes out any extra, vitamin D is stored in fat cells so it is easier to overdose on it. I don't know the recommended amount for babies.

What is the probiotic you mentioned?

There's something else I'm forgetting...

[annie2186]

I think you are so against vitamin D3 because they tell nursing moms to give it to their babies  In reality - if the mom has a high enough level, the baby will too. I take enough, so I don't worry about the baby needing more while nursing. 
You really should look into it - it is amazing! Although vitamin d3 toxisity (how the f do you spell that??) is a real thing - it is very very uncommon. I mean, I have been giving my kids and myself a massive dose according to most docs - and no problems here - only benefits. 

Here is a link to natural news, don't really know how good it is, I have been researching it for years. I want to find the doc that only has non-vaccinated kids in his practice (almost 5000 kids and not one autistic!) he is a big supporter of it. 

Anyways - its actually really good stuff, don't let silly pediatricians could your view of it 

http://www.naturalnews.com/vitamin_d.html

The probiotic I found is because of one of the nursing groups I was in. She was on mystery diagnosis because her breastmilk was hot pink (along with other disturbing symptoms) and she had some kind of weird bacteria or something. They treated her but would not treat her baby UNLESS he started showing symptoms. So she researched it herself and found this stuff - and it completely took it away from him and her. 

http://www.amazon.com/Natures-Way-Primadophilus-Reuteri-powder/dp/B005KMBFAM/ref=wl_it_dp_o_npd?ie=UTF8&coliid=IUBBU3RRWJLV7&colid=ST3GJUSGL7IZ

Now, that is the name and she gets it from nature's way. I am not sure if that particular powder is what I would get, I just wish listed it so I could remember the name Reuteri. 

[MarineWife]

Thanks for the links. I'll check them out.

I'm not against vitamin D supplementation. I take it, myself. But you are right. I am opposed to doctors telling breastfeeding moms that they must give their nursing babies vitamin D when there are no indications of a deficiency. However, there is a reasonable question about whether or not any vitamin supplementation has any true benefits. The question is whether or not the body can assimilate single separated vitamins and multivitamins taken outside of their natural state.

I'm not opposed to vitamin supplementation to try to fill in gaps in diet as long as the supplements are safe and natural. The problem for me is that I don't know how to tell that something that's processed like that is safe and natural. I've read stuff about vitamin E being made from left over copy machine toner, for example. The argument is that it's safe because it's reduced to the purified vitamin. Problem is that it's almost impossible to completely purify something like that. There are almost always traces of other substances, some maybe toxic, left behind. But, then, it's so hard to get safe and natural food, too, that maybe it's all moot.

[akind1]

MW: it's a tough place to be in, to be sure. When was the last time Sean was home for an extended period of time? I know he's been home on leave once or twice, but really home?

It is bound to take some time to re-adjust to family life - that's normal - it's just a matter in part of whether you really want to work at it (you is in the plural there) or not. I saw a lot of famililies in Okinawa break up - 1)it's a very common destination for dual-service members (both DH and DW in the service) 2) a frequent deployment rate; it's not uncommon for the servicemember to be away more than 1/2 the time a family is stationed there. Not to mention you are in a completely foreign country with no family . . . it makes or breaks families. The ones who made it through had to spend a lot of time focusing on marriage and family in the time they were together, and not every family is willing to do that.

Hang in there! I think it's worth trying to make it work when Sean gets back if he's willing to work with you. In the meantime, is there anyway to carve in some "you" time? it may help. That's all I've got!

Annie - my mom was a corners cleaner too! the house may be cluttered, but darn it, the corners were spotless!

I know that daily cleaning is easier . . . but I am really more of a once a week everything gets deep cleaned/laundered/etc sort of person.

vit D: I'm not against supplementing if one is actually deficient. I am against automatically dishing it out. If it's not raining, we are all out in the sun for at least 20 minutes a day, often much more. so I think we are fine. Doesn't matter if it's cold, we bundle up, because DS is a wreck if he's cooped up all day.

I have looked into adding a mulit for him, but all the ones I've found are mostly sugar. We could all benefit from pro-biotics probabably

I totally saw that episode of mystery diagnosis! why they didn't test her milk sooner, I have no idea.

I think I need to add maybe some b vitamins. It may help my gum health which is not great at the moment.