Sean says he understands that we have issues. He says that he understands that he is a part of those issues and needs to make an effort to fix them. It's not just me. However, I don't think he knows how to work at it. His solution to any problem is to ignore it. That's why I finally talked to his home unit Chaplain. He said he will helps us both. He wants me to contact him again in right before Sean comes home and then he'll seek Sean out rather than waiting for Sean to find him.
He always gets about 2 weeks off when he first comes home from a deployment. I was thinking that it might be better if he went straight back to work for a few weeks while we adjusted to him being home. Then he could take some time off. Maybe having him home 24/7 so suddenly is too much for any of to take. But I know he's exhausted and needs time to rest. He says he gets only about 4 hours of sleep a night and works every day over there. He does not get the weekend off or anything like that and he doesn't get to leave his work, go eat dinner and just hang out until the next day.
I get so angry, though, when people tell me that I need to give him time. Don't expect him to jump right back into things. I've been under just as much stress as him. Why do I have to be the one to wait all the time? It's the same as when people say to let your spouse have a few minutes to unwind after coming home from work before expecting them to do family things. What if I've had an extremely stressful day and need to lock myself in the bathroom for 15 minutes before I throttle someone? I'm supposed to wait while he unwinds but he's never expected to wait while I unwind. KWIM?