January 2012 Whatever Ladies Are All Done Having Their Babies! - Page 25

[Kindermama]

JJ- sounds like colic to me! My 2nd dd had it. She did end up having many food allergies. I highly suggested doing an elimination diet. Take out dairy, soy, nuts, corn, wheat and eggs for about a week. If it makes a different, then you have part of the answer! You'll have to reintroduce one food at a time

and wait 4 days to see if she has any reaction in order to pinpoint which one is bothering her. I'm doing it now for E and he has slept really well the last two nights and today....well, today, he has slept ALLLLL day. Only alert one or twice for no more than an hour. I'm thinking growth spurt or maybe...maybe 

his belly is just happy enough now to sleep like a newborn should! I wonder how tonight will go...hopefully he stays asleep! 

Oh...just remembered something. DH is giving E baby probiotics and I also started making sure he drained one breast fully before switching him so he gets the heavy fat at the end. I read that if you switch breasts too soon, baby gets a lot of lactose and too much lactose can cause gas pains. Also, baby willwake more frequently if they don't get the heavy fat. You might want to try it! It could be what's making a difference for E. I'm doing all these things at once so it's hard to know which one is helping! COLIEF is a product you might want to look into!

Kat- your hair looks really great!

[Baby_Cakes]

I couldn't buy my child cigarettes. I'm very against smoking, both my parents did and it's such a disgusting habit/addiction. I would refuse, mw. Why do you buy them for him?
Alcohol is different, though, to me at least. I wouldn't have a problem buying it since I buy it anyway. I buy plenty of wine and liquor. Chances are we'll have it on hand in the future, rather than the kids wanting anything.
I dont think I'll mind them having a beer or like a hard lemonade even before age 21. I feel like if it's not made tempting, they won't go apeshit with it once they are legal. Alcoholism runs in my family, and I actually struggled a bit with it before having kids, so I'll have to evaluate this as time goes on.
With my kids, I want them to know to call me no matter what, if they are in an unsafe situation. I don't care if they are drunk and aren't of legal age, call me. I would rather pick them up at 3 am somewhere myself, I'd just want them home safe!! I really want to keep those lines of communication open so we trust each other.

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[annie2186]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 

Oh, a funny. Ryan's friend, Devan, came over today while Ethan and Kellen were out front playing. Kellen, apparently, told Devan that he had signed his life away to the Marine Corps.

On a totally different subject, how do you all feel about buying things like alcohol and cigarettes for your adult kids? I know you all are a long way off from that but I'm facing it right now. Ryan smokes and sometimes asks me to pick him up a pack of cigarettes when I go shopping. I don't like doing it but I don't see how I can really not. If he were an adult friend or other relative, I'd do it. It just feels so wrong when it's my child. Also, he's going to be 21 in March. I don't know how I feel about him drinking alcohol. He'll be able to do it whenever and as much as he wants at home in front of me. I guess it scares me because I think about drunk driving and all the other things that can go wrong with drinking, especially since his father is an addict. I know he's drank at parties before and he always has good sense to not drive or get in a car with some who has but still...

Isn't it funny how kids repeat everything??? I can only imagine what my kids say  I totally get why kid therapy is through play too - I hear so many things when my nieces nephews come over to play.

The cigarettes........I'm not sure. I started refusing to give money to family/friends and/or buy cigarettes. I think they are yucky. They don't give you a buzz, they don't relax you, they make you smell like crap and give you mega health problems. Personally I would just tell my kid or anyone that I think it's stupid, and if they want to get them they can figure out how.

Ha ha ha ha! I remember a story when I was 17 that I wouldn't drive my brother to get some, so he had to walk. I guess I am kind of a bit** when it comes to that.

The alcohol - I don't plan on making it a big deal at all. At about 14 or 15, if my kids want they can start drinking wine coolers every once in awhile. Going to Europe when I was 18 or 17 almost 18 I guess helped me come to that conclusion. The drinking age is 16 and in no bar I went in did they check my ID. There is NOOOO clubs, bars, drinking problems at an epidemic level like there is here. 

I think its because we wait soooo long before its legal and put such a taboo on it that kids naturally take it to an extreme. Kind of like how your kids don't eat as much sweets because they know they can eat it whenever. Obviously not the same thing, but the same principal. 

Ryan is quite a bit older, so I am not sure what you can do except talk to him about addiction or give him info on it. DUI is a PITA for real. My DH fell asleep in his car because he didn't want to drive drunk and got one anyways - it suuuuuuuuucked. It was five years ago and it is still a vivid sucky memory. 

But anyways, I wouldn't think buying him alcohol is a big deal - as long as it doesn't seem like a problem.
 

[AnnieA]

Yeah, I'm w/Baby_Cakes. I don't think I could buy cigs for my kids. Of course DSS 17 has asthma so bad it would probably kill him if he did try to smoke! Alcohol is different though. My dad's an alcoholic and I didn't drink for a long time because I was worried I would be an alcoholic too. Now DH's family events always involve alcohol but no one gets crazy.

Annie, I wish I could blame my kids' increased activity levels on food allergies but at this point, I'm pretty sure it's genetics! Now that DD has almost 100% O2 levels, she's proving to be just as much of a busy-tail as her siblings! Now, I will say that they are probably affected by additives and colors but getting them to not have that stuff when it's a mom's house/dad's house situation is impossible.

I meant to mention probiotics to whoever was complaining about the stinky farts. DD farts occasionally but it never stinks. When she was in the hospital and hadn't had a BM for DAYS because of all the narcotics, she had some super stinky farts! Since we've been home and I've restarted her probiotics, no more stinky farts! Her BMs are still a little messed up but she's taking a pretty high dose of ibuprofen. I think it's upsetting her stomach. I'm trying to drop doses because it's been 10 days since surgery.

[Baby_Cakes]

Finn has awful farts. I'll start giving him the probiotics again and see if it helps.

I wouldn't even buy cigarettes for my mom when she asked me to back when I was 18 or 19 and still living at her house. She would roll her eyes at me and get so annoyed. Lol.

Kat, I forgot to comment!! Your hair looks fantastic!! That wrap is gorgeous. You are the queen of wrapping!! impressive skills!

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[annie2186]

I don't buy the whole "alcoholism runs in families" thing. I drank to much when I was younger (kids will surely cure you of that!! LOL)

My family is HUGE. Catholic and all. 

Alcoholics are on both sides and then there are completely sober people too. Most are in the middle. Even in my immediate family we have the extreme and the never's. 

I think it has to do more with personality than anything. 

I remember reading in "Awaken the Giant with in" by Tony Robbins about brothers who had an abusive, addicted to drugs and alcohol dad. One went on to do good things with his life and one turned out exactly like his dad. When asked about how they turned out they BOTH answered.

"How could I have turned out any other way with a dad like mine"

[MarineWife]

Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes 

Why do you buy them for him

Well, he's an adult now. I look at it as not any different than if a friend asked me to pick them up if I was running out to the store. Like I said, I don't like it but I also don't think it's my place to refuse since he is an adult. Does that make sense? Would you refuse to buy cigarettes for a friend or other relative, parent, when you were running out to the store?

WRT the alcohol, this has come up for me because his best friend turned 21 today. So now I'm imagining them going crazy drinking. We've had alcohol on hand and I don't mind if he wants a beer or whatever. He's never drank like crazy at home. It just sort of freaks me out that he's going to be old enough to get as much as he wants whenever he wants.

[annie2186]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 


Well, he's an adult now. I look at it as not any different than if a friend asked me to pick them up if I was running out to the store. Like I said, I don't like it but I also don't think it's my place to refuse since he is an adult. Does that make sense? Would you refuse to buy cigarettes for a friend or other relative, parent, when you were running out to the store?

NOPE!  Cig's are nasty. I guess if you would buy them for other people, it would make sense you would buy them for him too.

WRT the alcohol, this has come up for me because his best friend turned 21 today. So now I'm imagining them going crazy drinking. We've had alcohol on hand and I don't mind if he wants a beer or whatever. He's never drank like crazy at home. It just sort of freaks me out that he's going to be old enough to get as much as he wants whenever he wants.

It happens.............I guess that is when you just have to realize life is what it is........I went a *little* crazy and I was fine.
At least you don't have to worry about teen pregnancy with four girls 

[Baby_Cakes]

I wouldn't buy them for anyone. I suppose that's the difference. If I refuse to buy them for my mom, friends, etc, it only makes sense I wouldn't enable that behavior in my child as well.

IM like that with meat, too. Bc I don't eat it or think it's healthy or ethical, I won't buy it for people. I have trouble picking up take out for people when they order things in groups. If a friend ever asked me to buy meat or cigarettes, I'd have to refuse. I'd say sorry and offer an alternative, but I just can't enable people to do things I disagree with.

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[akind1]

All our parents smoke - DH's and mine - and I would buy them cigarretes (provided they gave me the $$; I ain't shelling out for those!) - because it's their choice. they've never asked though.

Now, I wouldn't buy any of my children cigarrettes. what's the difference? - I guess it's because my parents have been doing it forever and if they do or don't smoke at this point its really their problem - my buying or not buying cigs for them isn't about to change their smoking habits. But it might make a difference for my children, at least I would hope so.

Alcohol is a different thing - because I do believe it can be enjoyed in moderation with little damage physically or otherwise. I've had friends whose toddlers took sips of their wine and this didn't seem odd to me. Now, I wouldn't fill the sippy cup with it. but if they asked for a sip, I would probably permit a sip - or two - but no more. I agree with whoever said it earlier, that our American ban on it has actually exascerbated the problem, rather than making it any less. (FWIW I feel that way about MJ being illegal too. I don't want to smoke it, and really would rather no one I knew did, but I have read how well it works medicinally in some cases - but that's another topic entirely)

As for meat . . . .if you are vegetarian due to your conscience, I really can't argue with that. I do joke with DH I could far more easily give up meat than carbs - but in my case it wouldn't be due to it being inethical, just because I could.

As for wrapping skills - I watch a lot of youtube! - I am so glad I didn't give up; I was tempted when got my 2nd wrap to give up because I just couldn't get a back carry in it, and that's the whole point, for me, of using woven wraps, is being able to have baby on your back at an early age. Once I did get it though, I love it more each time I wrap!

And Gabe is letting me wrap him, now I am on the hunt for *his* wrap. it's seemingly hard to find and it's bugging me. it's this one because it has owls and is supposed to be major toddler worthy:

[akind1]

serial posting because I was having image issues :)

Do any of you all have Valentine's Day plans? I haven't thought of any yet, but I need to get cracking.

[Baby_Cakes]

Ooh that wrap/fabric is so pretty!!  I hope you find it.  Is it a brand name?  What's it made of?

Valentines day!!  I'm thinking we'll just go to our thai place down the road for an hour and leave the kids with Grams, but not on the day.  It's too crazy to go anywhere then, I think.  We'll just have a date night sometime in Feb and count it!  LOL!

I've been watching crappy TLC wedding shows on TV in the morning and it makes me want to have a wedding again.  And only invite people I want there.  And do the whole dress, cake, etc thing again.  Chris says for our 25th anniversary we can renew our vows and do it.  Ha!  Only 20 years to go, lol!!

[akind1]

The fabric is 100% cotton (organic) made by a german company called Kokadi. A lot of wrap companies are German or european, I've noticed. Maybe I need to have a friend search german ebay for me. I don't read German! LOL but she does!

ooh, Thai. I love Thai. what about that Vegan restaurant you posted here or on FB? in PA somewhere?

I love watching David Tutera on My Fair Wedding. Where was he when I was getting married??? I'd love to be skinny and have $$ for hair extensions when we renew vows . . . whenever that is. Because I know I'll never really suceed in growing it out.

[Baby_Cakes]

I love Thai too.  The last time I had it was 2 days before I went into labor with Finn.  Too long ago!!!

That vegan restaurant is in Philly (there's a lot of good restaurants in philly!!) but I'm not ready to leave Finn for a whole day.  It'd be at least an hour drive, plus eating, plus an hour back and I'm just not ready.  Maybe for our anniversary in May when I know he'll be able to nibble solids at Grams and not rely so much on taking a bottle.

Yes - where was he for my wedding, too!?  My venue was too big for the # of guests I had and the dance floor always looked empty.  It was kind of a downer.   I had a great time but still -- I know with help we could have done better.

Hey - post wedding photos everyone!  I want to see!!  I'll dig mine up!!

I can't find many, they must be on a server somewhere.  DH has access, I don't on my macbook.  I'll keep looking!

Edited by Baby_Cakes - 2/1/12 at 6:16am

[MarineWife]

I won't and wouldn't pay for the cigarettes, either. And, I certainly wouldn't pick up a pack for my child to try or if he's under age. But Ryan has been smoking for years now. I mean, even if he didn't start until it was legal for him (he started when he was a lot younger), it would still be almost 3 years of smoking. Nothing I do at this point is going to influence him to stop. I don't see smoking as much of an evil thing, either, I guess. Yeah, it's unhealthy and a waste of money but it's not a definite killer, just like almost everything else human's consume. I see alcohol as way more dangerous. Not only can it cause immediate death from poisoning or just the stupid behavior that comes with consuming too much but it can also cause a lifetime of pain and destruction if it becomes an addiction. I don't like that he smokes, though, and I don't want to enable it, either. But he is an adult, now, and I need to respect that. That's my struggle. I think it's disrespectful to try to impose my personal beliefs on another adult but, obviously, i don't want my child doing something potentially harmful.

I like to watch, Say Yes to the Dress. It makes me want to have a wedding just to get a dress. I don't know if I have any wedding photos on the computer. I may have to scan them.

The only plans I have for Valentine's Day is to get together with my homeschool group so the kids can trade valentines and play. I'm not really big on trading valentines in a group like that. It reminds of doing it in school and some kids would be left out and you could see how hurt they were. At least we're a small enough group and all sensitive to that so I think everyone will give and get a valentine for/from everyone else.

[akind1]

We made the mistake of having our wedding on a big college game day (we live in the same town as the college) a bunch of people left early to go to the game.

The venue was perfect! I would love to have $$ for a great dress and hair . . . here is the pic - you asked!

[MarineWife]

Here's the one wedding photo I found on a flash drive. It's grainy because it was printed with a home printer many years ago and scanned onto the computer. I'll check later to see if I can scan a professional one from my album.



Look what else I found while going through my old photos. That's me with Ryan when he was just a few months old, so 1991, and my aunt. I was so lucky my mom promoted babywearing as well as natural childbirth and breastfeeding. With all of our differences, that's probably the most important type of influence she could have had on me.

[Baby_Cakes]

Originally Posted by MarineWife 
Nothing I do at this point is going to influence him to stop. I don't see smoking as much of an evil thing, either, I guess. Yeah, it's unhealthy and a waste of money but it's not a definite killer, just like almost everything else human's consume. I see alcohol as way more dangerous. Not only can it cause immediate death from poisoning or just the stupid behavior that comes with consuming too much but it can also cause a lifetime of pain and destruction if it becomes an addiction.

I don't know.  A lot of times just knowing someone disapproves is enough to put a bug in their ear about stopping.  

Not that evil though?  Wow.  The cigarette industry is horribly corrupt.  Even if you don't think its an instant killer, it's slowly turning his lungs black.  Cancer or not, it's not healthy by any means. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Health_effects_of_tobacco

What I find fascinating is once a smoker quits, after a year or so of being off tobacco, their risks of disease and complications decrease significantly.  It reverses.  To me that says something powerful about how horrible smoking is for a person.

How about this example....I don't like tattoos.  I don't want my kids to ever get them.  But, I know I have no right over their body, they can do what they want.  I don't have to like it.  But I won't drive them to a tattoo place to have one done and sit there with them while they have it done.  Theres a difference there, it's subtle but it's there.

I watch Say Yes to the Dress!  I love that show!  I want to go to Kleinfelds to buy my dress next time.  I loved my wedding gown, but I bought the first and only one I tried on!  LOL.  

I found two wedding pics!!

Kat - gorgeous!!  You looked beautiful!

MW - Wow, I love that wedding picture!  So natural.  And that pic of you babywearing Ryan?  Oh goodness, that's so sweet!!

[MarineWife]

You look beautiful, Kat. Your husband is so much taller than you!

I really liked our venue. We had it outside at an old B&B in Connecticut, where Sean's family is. The only major screw up was that someone put the bubbles on the ceremony seats when everyone was sitting out in the hot sun and the fans on the reception tables under the tent. My poor grandad almost passed out from the heat.

[akind1]

Loving the wedding pics!

MW: your venue is lovely - ours was outside too, except the food and stuff was inside.

I do think it's cool that so much of the damage from cigarettes is reversible.

My parents actually did drive, and pay for, my sister's tatoo on her 18th birthday. LOL

I wish my mom had been more of a natural childbirth/parenting sort of person, but at least she's supportive. MIL keeps asking if I need help when I'm getting Norah on my back. I mean, I know it looks awkward (ya'll have SEEN videos) but she is normally actually pretty happy now, even while being wrapped. There really isn't anything anyone - even one who knows what I'm doing - can help other than make sure I don't drop her.

I got married in October to avoid the heat! and yeah, DH is 6 foot 6. I am 4 foot 11. when I stand super, super straight!