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January 2012 Whatever Ladies Are All Done Having Their Babies! - Page 26

post #501 of 510
Thread Starter 
We keep cross posting. My computer is being funny and keeps getting hung up.

Carrie ~ You look beautiful, too, of course. That is a beautiful dress. Sometimes you only have to see that one to know it's right. I tried on several but bought the first one even though everyone else was pushing a different one on me. I love my dress but next time I'd like to have something more flowy.

I know cigarrettes are bad. I know they can cause health problems. I'm not arguing that they don't, but so can many other things. Caffiene is an addictive substance that can harm the body. Sugar is horrible on the body. Should I refuse to pick him up a soda or let him have a piece of cake? If my adult child was going to get a tattoo, I think I'd make a point of going to help ensure the place he was going was clean and safe. I keep comparing smoking with alcohol because I see them as sort of the same. They are both legal intoxicants that can wreak havoc on one's health. The thing with a cigarettes is that you can still live a productive life while smoking. With an alcohol addiction, you can't.
post #502 of 510
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post
 The only major screw up was that someone put the bubbles on the ceremony seats when everyone was sitting out in the hot sun and the fans on the reception tables under the tent. My poor grandad almost passed out from the heat.

Oh no!

Our venue numbered all the tables backwards.  Immediate family and important friends were in the back, farthest away from us, and people we didn't know that well were up front.  I was livid.  But what can you do??  You can't ask people to move after they've all been seated!

post #503 of 510

I think I see what you're saying.  I just disagree.  shrug.gif  I don't think comparing smoking to eating sugar or caffeine is comparing apples to apples, unless you're talking about people with unhealthy addictions to those things.  And I could argue that there are some very high functioning alcoholics.


Plus with smoking comes 2nd hand smoke and the fact that it can harm others who don't smoke themselves.  I mean, sure alcoholics can harm other people with their actions, but it's not quite the same.


Does Ryan smoke in the house or in the car with the younger boys?



post #504 of 510
Thread Starter 
No, he doesn't smoke in our house or with the boys. He's never in the car with them unless he's with me he doesn't smoke in my car. I would not put the boys in his car.

I don't disagree with you. That's why I'm struggling with this. Where do I draw the line when it comes to behaviors that I disagree with? My brother smokes and, if he gave me the money and asked me to get him a pack while I was out, I would do it without a second thought. I'm trying to reconcile how that's different than doing it for my adult child other than the fact that he will always be my child no matter how old he gets. It seems wrong, maybe hypocritical, for me to do it for one and not the other. My brother is also an alcoholic, I think (no one else in my family will acknowledge it). He's functioning in the sense that he does work when he can find it. He's not living on the streets drinking out of a paper bag. He's never been arrested for any drinking offenses. But he's never been able to hold down a steady job for long and he's never had a job that fully supports him. He still relies on my mother to support him at the age of 44.

We had a small enough wedding that there wasn't anyone we didn't know and all the tables were set in a circle around the center. The only seating problem we had was that one friend of mine that didn't know anyone else ended up seated at a table by herself. Thankfully, my aunt and uncle moved to sit with her or invited her to sit with them (I can't remember which) so she wasn't alone. I didn't even know about it until afterward. I was mortified but my friend wasn't upset.

My stepsister got in a huge fight with her husband over a toast. I was completely unaware of that until years later. lol.gif

I'm trying to scan some more wedding photos but my printer is not cooperating. irked.gif
post #505 of 510
Thread Starter 
Ok, this was ridiculous. I had to take photos of my photos with my phone, send them to FB and then copy them onto my computer to post them here. There are very poor quality but the best I can do. My special Koday printer/scanner that's supposed to be great for working with photos can't scan anything to either my card or flash drive.

This is me, Sean and Ryan


This is us getting ready to cut the cake.


These are just for fun. (Showing off a little bit at how muscular and lean I was back then. shy.gif)


post #506 of 510

I go back to what someone (JJ? Mom2One?) said about drinking in Europe and other countries: I think here it's so much a problem because it's a bit Taboo, and not just part of everyday life. I think alcohol can be consumed in moderation or even just occasionally/socially and not cause anyone any harm. Granted one time of excess can do heaps of damage, but you would have less of those if people were taught how to drink.  Instead, most learn in college and as an adult away from moderating influences.  and in college,  a lot of people do a lot of things to excess.


smoking, OTOH, doesn't tend to happen in moderation or socially. It is almost always an addiction. With the exception of cigar and pipe smokers who do tend to use much less tobacco and less often. (DH has the occasional cigar or pipe. Maybe once every few months, so it's very occasional) For me, that's the difference.


and I don't know why, but I would buy a friend or relative a drink, or a pack of cigarettes, but I wouldn't buy my child cigarettes. ever. I would buy them a drink, because I don't see buying them one drink as contributing to an addiction (unless of course one of my children becomes an alchoholic).


and on that subject, I don't necessarily think alcoholism is genetic. I do think some people are more pre-disposed to it than others. And if it is something you know several family members struggle with, it might be wise to maybe moderate yourself more than you otherwise would.


Our wedding was just appetizers and stuff; no sit down meal. (cheaper and also, you get to mingle more) The only goof was that we meant to have champagne passed, but no toast (because, really, who wants to do that?) and when we told the coordinater person no toast, she thought not to pass the champagne. oh well. We didn't have a bar at all, open or not, because my cousin did and has pictures of every (man) mooning the camera. seriously, they lined up and mooned it. at the wedding, not a bachelor party or something. I didn't want that. And my maid of honor got cut off at Hooters once (she is a silly, laughing, drunk sort of person) and I didn't want that either.


on 2nd hand smoke: do you know how often I have to remind people not to hold the baby while they smoke?! not just  the 2nd hand smoke, but also it is a potential burning issue too. what if the baby grabs the cigarette?  GRRR it's a big pet peeve of mine. I don't make people change clothes and everything to hold a baby (there are those moms that do ask) shoot, I don't even make them wash their hands. (but I appreciate if they do) - you would think they could at least not smoke and hold her at the same time.


While I'm in rant mode (LOL) - one of DH's cousins with a baby a month younger than Norah was asking about starting rice cereal on FB. I was the ONLY ONE saying hold off. everyone said, sure, it'll help them sleep. Not one person asked her WHY she wants to give him cereal. He is formula fed, but still. or told her that it's a useless thing to feed babies anyway. *sigh* rant over.

post #507 of 510

oh, and love the muscle pics!

post #508 of 510
Thread Starter 
I can't believe people wouldn't know not to hold a baby while smoking! Even Ryan and his friends know that. They won't even walk close to us if he's smoking.

I don't really know what to think contributes to the drinking problems we have in this country. It could be the puritanical rules that the country adopted. Although, the settlers drank alcohol and smoked MJ regularly. Neither was illegal and MJ/hemp was one of the countries earliest major cash crops. I don't really know the stats on drinking in other countries. I've heard the stories about how it's not as much of a problem but then I've also heard and seen that people definitely do drink to excess in Europe. Maybe the excess drinking just isn't seen as much of a problem. shrug.gif

Trying a cigarette or smoking socially for a little while does not necessarily lead to addiction, either. I've known people who've done that and then just decided they were over it. I don't really know what leads one to addiction, either. I tend to think that there is some sort of biological component but it's not necessarily hereditary. In other words, just because a relative has an addiction doesn't mean that you necessarily will be predisposed to addiction or that you are safe from addiction because no one in your family ever had one. Does that make sense? That's what scares me about the whole addiction thing. You just never know who might be susceptible or when it could hit. One taste of a drink could throw a person over the edge, maybe not immediately but eventually. There's no way to predict that.

It's February so I started a new thread: http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1343936/february-2012-whatever-ladies-and-babies#post_16858542
post #509 of 510

Here is the most helpful list I've found so far:


MW - sooo much to comment on what you said but no time!  When I come back tonight I will!!

Oh and I forgot to mention I tried the one-arm-out of the swaddle last night and he slept pretty well.  He slept from about 830 til I fed him at 11 or so (he didn't wake up, it was a dream feed), and then again til 2 ish and then again til 4 ish.  I finally put both his arms back in after 4 am (he wasn't settling) and he slept til about 645!!  Not bad.  Especially for trying something new.

post #510 of 510
somebao, Welcome to Mothering! It looks like your post is in the wrong place. If you could tell me where it belongs, I can move it for you.
Thank you,
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