Is it too late to teach my 18 month old that sleep is a happy state?

[TrumpetMom]

So I didn't co-sleep with my first two kids, and used CIO way too early (not that it's good at any age) with my now 18 month old son. We are now co-sleeping with our newborn and I'm reading through Dr. Sears' Baby Sleep Book. I now realize that my son's crying at the simple mention of bed or nap was an indication that sleep was not a happy state, but a stressful, fearful one. So we've begun staying with him at both nap and bedtimes to try to teach him how to fall asleep and that sleep is a pleasant state. It's only been a few days, and I'm having a hard time convincing DH that this is necessary (we're going to buy a copy of Dr. Sears'  book so he can read it while on a business trip next week). Obviously, it's too soon to see any results, but my question is this: will our efforts pay off eventually? He seems like a high-need kiddo, and I wish there was a way to go back and do things differently, but I can only start where we are.

Also, how do I fend off my anti-co-sleeping MIL in regards to our newborn? She's of the mind set that it'll become a "habit" that we'll have a hard time breaking. I don't think giving her a copy of the book would help; she didn't read the last book I gave her.

Thanks!

[SweetSilver]

Well, it might become a habit that will be a hard time breaking.... but a *bad* habit?  No, not if every one in the house is happy and well-rested and never-mind-what-anyone-else-says.  This is between you, your husband, and the kids.  Who takes care of the kids when they wake up and need someone in the middle of the night?  Who carries them to the potty, who feeds and nurses the littlest ones?  The one getting up all the time is the one who gets the tie-breaking vote in the house. Is that you or your husband?  The answer will make a difference in what you decide to do.

My girls are 5 and nearly 7 and they still expect to sleep with me.  They sleep very well, we all sleep very well, but the thought of me even stepping out for 2 hours after they drift of can be upsetting, and I just don't have the patience to deal with the possibility of a fight right now (I've tried more than once).  So, yes, my girls are in the habit of sleeping with me.  I wish I could be straightforward with them, put them down and have them drift off on their own until I am ready for bed, and some mamas can do this.  But, basically, the sleep situation in our house is generally a happy one.

When I first brought my first daughter into our bed, she had hardly slept for 3 days (she was 4mo) and jerked herself awake at every opportunity.  Finally, exhausted from getting up and trying to get her back down into the crib (in our room) I brought her into the bed.  The first time she jerked awake, her arm hit my face and I heard an audible sigh of relief as she melted back into sleep.  I wish I could say it was blissful from that point on (it wasn't) but it was a helluva lot better than dealing with her imperfect sleep habits from across the room.