Advice, hugs anything...

[svedesina]

Hi everyone, I have a 10 months old, conceived with IUI and clomid, who is my everything. I LOVE BF and he still isn't very good with solids but we are trying to get him some "desserts" every day. My thought was to let him self wean whenever he wanted and to tandem if I got pregnant. Well, we are going to be 40 and 42 this year and we have tried natural IUI,no clomid,2 times and no luck. We will try one more time before we will do 1-2 times with clomid before IVF. That means we have to wean :(. I know there are people who have become pregnant older than that but I just don't dare to wait much longer and loose out on having a second baby. I have read about clomid, my doctor says I have to wean, and from what I understand it is a L3 ONLY due to the fact that is stops lactation. So in theory I could continue but my milk may stop cold turkey which seems mean to do to my baby. Even if I continued to have milk I would have to stop for IVF. He is 12 months mid February so my thought was to start now with one feeding every 3-4 days to change that to a sippy cup with breastmilk and then another one and another one. Last month I was just going to use frozen milk I have in my deep freezer and do the Clomid. This is not an easy decision and I have cried many times over it, I feel like I have to choose between my baby now and the hopefully future baby and I feel like I am letting my baby down.

I am devastated and feel very torn. Has anyone gone through any of this and have some kind of advice?

[Mama2ChicknLil]

No advice, you seem to have all the information you need to make a decision, and whatever decision you make will be perfect for your family. HUGS!!!!

[nikkijames]

That's so hard. :( We want one more baby, and will probably use clomid as well (I have mild pcos and clomid has been very effective for us. we have 2 kids that were conceived the first cycle on it). I am only 35 so it's a little different, but I can't fathom cutting our nursing relationship short, especially because he'd be really devastated. Of course you know YOUR child. How attached is he to nursing? I will be waiting till my DS is 2 or almost 2, which means I'll be 36 before we ttc. And I will take the clomid while nursing, because I assume by that age he'll be on solids well enough if it did cause a big supply dip. Also clomid really doesn't affect milk supply as much when supply is very well established and the baby is a toddler. It's more in early lactation that it dries up milk. There's more on that on kellymom....

[MoonHasBeams]

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A big, warm hug to you! This feels like an impossible sort of decision, for sure. We conceived our son (now 12mo) with IVF, so I understand the complex feelings you're having. There is no wrong answer here. You've got to follow your heart. I am a path of least regret kind of girl, and I let that be my compass. BFing is a treasured relationship, sure, and you've given for LO a great 10 months of that! Should you wean for IVF, there are still so many ways to foster that closeness with your child. Your babe will be okay! It is evident that you are thoughtful and considerate and loving, and that you will find a way to create a gentle, loving transition.

I know, for me, I felt that I wanted to give BFing at least a year before even considering hopping back on that infertility treatment roller coaster. Treatments (and all the uncertainty and heartache that came before them) were awful. I was so unhappy and scared. I felt it was important (for me) to dwell in this time with my LO...because this could be the only babyhood/toddlerhood I get to experience. It's been such a reprieve, to be honest.

Your age certainly brings some added pressure, and no one can blame you at all for doing everything you can at this time to build the family of your dreams. Hang in there!