Just discovered that my child is "Exceptionally Gifted"

[beckylynn]

This is all very new to me. My husband and I went to Dr. Deborah Ruf to get a "score-only" assessment (Stanford Binet 5) on my 4 year old girl.  We were interested in Early Entrance to Kindergarten for next year since she just misses the cut off and is a bright little girl who is already reading.

The school has requested a "Superior" (130 I think?) score to be considered and my daughter scored 141 IExceptionally Gifted) with an Abbreviated Battery of 148 (Profoundly Gifted).

What now?  Dr. Ruf mentioned that the school we are going for (there is a lottery) is a good start since it has a wonderful classical curriculum but she also said that while she thought Maia would do well in Kindergarten next year she expected some adaptations would be needed in 1st grade and beyond due to her giftedness level.

Thank you all!  This is new territory for me and while my husband was extremely gifted (he graduated high school 2 years early with college credits) I wasn't really expecting the same from our children!

[whatsnextmom]

It's a lot of trial and error. Expect to try things and have them not work. Expect to be surprised that something that you never thought would work does. Don't be afraid to take some risks with the knowledge that there are always options, you can always change your mind, as long as your kid knows you are listening and responding to poor situations, you'll all turn out just fine. Don't worry about her working ahead and don't worry if she goes through some lulls... it's all normal. Interest-based activities even now can be a god-send to gifted children socially. Sometimes having those connections outside of school makes the connections in school less important. I always recommend just taking things a year at a time.... do what works now and when it stops, do something else! Don't get hung up on some idealistic picture of a perfect childhood... the perfect childhood is relative to the individual and can mean anything from long days out in nature with the neighborhood kids to sitting in their room reading alone for hours on end.

[Tigerle]

Welc

Originally Posted by beckylynn 

Thank you all!  This is new territory for me and while my husband was extremely gifted (he graduated high school 2 years early with college credits) I wasn't really expecting the same from our children!

You should have! What do you think your husband's genes are, chopped liver?

Seriously, while I do not in any way dare to encroach on the massive experience with gifted education that I am sure Dr. Ruf must have, I wouldn't let an accurate prediction of a 4 year old's educational needs beyond 1st grade scare you. It depends so much on her further intellectual and socio-emotional trajectory, none of which are carved in stone at 4. This is not supposed to be a version of "you can't tell at this age anyway" and" they all level out by third grade" (both of which aren't true and both of which you will hear by people who you tell these results to) but more a reiteration of whatnextmom said: you have an option that may work for kindergarten (keeping our fingers crossed for the lottery!). That's great! Don't worry about 2nd grade yet.

(DS is 5. I worry about middle school. Do as I say and not as I do!)

[beckylynn]

Thanks everyone!  Good advice.  I am not really looking beyond Kindergarten at this point - I'm really hoping she gets into the Kindergarten at the nearby classical school.  We will play it by ear and I do feel fortunate to live very close to Dr. Ruf so revisiting her is most certainly an (expensive) option.

We are also involved in outside activities that she enjoys like preschool, Suzuki violin and ice skating so hopefully those things will give her a social circle base to go from!

[KCMichigan]

Originally Posted by Tigerle 

Seriously, while I do not in any way dare to encroach on the massive experience with gifted education that I am sure Dr. Ruf must have, I wouldn't let an accurate prediction of a 4 year old's educational needs beyond 1st grade scare you. It depends so much on her further intellectual and socio-emotional trajectory, none of which are carved in stone at 4. This is not supposed to be a version of "you can't tell at this age anyway" and" they all level out by third grade" (both of which aren't true and both of which you will hear by people who you tell these results to) but more a reiteration of whatnextmom said: you have an option that may work for kindergarten (keeping our fingers crossed for the lottery!). That's great! Don't worry about 2nd grade yet.

(DS is 5. I worry about middle school. Do as I say and not as I do!)

Great advice!

I would take it one step at a time and adjust as needed.

FWIW: My two kiddos skipped K (due to moving) and were 5 turning 6 ( Oct) in 1st grade. They have done excellent, with modifications in place for reading that are working for now. The school breaks into ability across grade for reading, writing, spelling, and *some* math. Yes, their reading group is them and one other student, but it works. It is a good choice for them right now, I anticipate that 2nd may go well too. We are in a school system that does not have a formal gifted program but is well known for doing well by its advanced kids. They are in the Math Pentathalon Club and Girl Scouts. They are happy and learning (lots of writing skills!). They, as your DD, were fluent readers at age 4. (preschool)

We dont know IQ on them, but I was identified in Elem. School in the EG range and DH is untested but very bright as well. I dont doubt the girls will follow. Though it was 20/30 yrs ago,I was a young-for-grade kid and did well through traditional schooling with only a few modifications( and GT pull-out support in Elem. & MS), nothing in HS, and had IQ ranges similar to your DD. My temperment was more suited toward going broad vs deep (I took almost every English/Lit class in high school)and I was very self-motivated but non-competitive so that it worked for me. My career and education is in teaching (Elem.), I love it. 

Take it one year at a time. Be open to changing midstream. And research your school options.

I think the school can REALLY make a difference. A good teacher will make a year great for all students (advanced and struggling) a poor teacher will make the school year miserable. Some schools just support their gifted kiddos more than others.

Also, I will note that though both my DDs were reading  fluently at 4 and both could write at 1st grade level---  one DD could have easily placed in a Spec.Ed preschool program due to other issues. She was not, but it just goes to show that at 4== lots and lots and lots of changes happen. Now, at 6 she is thriving in 1st grade with an amazing teacher.

Also what kind of K? 1/2 day? All day? Is it a heavy red shirt area? What is the cut off and how far off is she? Is she social and adaptive?== I think all of this also can play into the success of early entry and young-for-grade kiddos. For some kiddos it works, others it does not. 

You will hear stories of both, do what you think will work for your DD.

Good Luck and enjoy! 

[beckylynn]

These are great questions. The Kindergarten cutoff is Sept 1 and my daughter's birthday is Deptember 23. She is a very happy mild mannered child (with occasional fits) who does best in a 1 on 1 setting. She is fine and adaptive in group settings but she is very quiet in those situations, even in preschool.  In fact, her teachers were shocked to hear that she reads. 

Speaking of reading, hers is not fluent yet. She is learning with phonics and is just now starting to really spontaneously read things without prompting. She is only 4 years, 3 months and I expect great leaps this year but we will see. 

The Kindergarten is half day every day with a full day option.  I am not sure what you mean by heavy red shirt. 

Oh, the local school district also does (free) testing with the Wechsler IV so we may take advantage of that even if we are accepted into the charter. 

Edited by beckylynn - 1/4/12 at 12:09pm

[KCMichigan]

Originally Posted by beckylynn 

These are great questions. The Kindergarten cutoff is Sept 1 and my daughter's birthday is Deptember 23. She is a very happy mild mannered child (with occasional fits) who does best in a 1 on 1 setting. She is fine and adaptive in group settings but she is very quiet in those situations, even in preschool.  In fact, her teachers were shocked to hear that she reads. 

Speaking of reading, hers is not fluent yet. She is learning with phonics and is just now starting to really spontaneously read things without prompting. She is only 4 years, 3 months and I expect great leaps this year but we will see. 

The Kindergarten is half day every day with a full day option.  I am not sure what you mean by heavy red shirt. 

Oh, the local school district also does (free) testing with the Wechsler IV so we may take advantage of that even if we are excepted into the charter. 

See in our state- your DD would go into K next year no matter what (cut off  of 5 by or at Dec 1st).

Red-shirt area means an area that has kids eligible to go to K, but for whatever reason do not. Usually it is parent choice, these classes are often more kiddos at 6 when K starts vs 5 in lower red-shirting areas. It is common in pockets of the nation. We moved from an area that the cut-off was Sept 1st, but any kiddo born after March was considered 'young' since so many waited a year. Areas that have more red=shirted kids will have older kids in a class. So a young 5 yr old in a class of 6 or 6.5 yr olds that are 1- 20 months older is much different than a young 5 yr old in a class with other 5 year olds that are 1-11 months older.

I would also take advantage of the free testing!

[ollyoxenfree]

Another welcome! My only advice at this stage is to read and research, on-line and in your area, about the resources and options available. On-line, you'll find lots of old threads in this forum on all sorts of topics. Hoagies Gifted site has a wealth of information. 

Regarding free testing, I'd find out whether they will pay for it only once. If so, I might wait for a couple of years and ask for the testing when she is 7 or so. Assessment at a later age is more accurate. It also may be more helpful after she's had a couple of years of formal education and you've had an opportunity to observe her learning style preferences and quirks. There's some interesting information that can be gleaned from the subtests. We had a few "a-ha!" moments of insight when we reviewed the assessment report, and I don't think it would have been as meaningful to us if we'd tested at a very young age. It helped us to put a few things together that we had observed and recognized, but could now view from a slightly different perspective with the subtest information. 

[A&A]

I'd seriously consider a grade skip.  

[beckylynn]

A grade skip in addition to early entrance to kindergarten?

[Geofizz]

Take it year by year.  A&A promotes grade skips on many threads here.  Planning a grade skip after an early entrance is foolish without knowing how your child functions in school.  A grade skip is generally not the right solution if ( and that's a big if) the school can serve the kid's needs appropriately.  Often times skips help ease scheduling problems when a kid is radically accelerated in 1-2 subject areas.

My kids are about in the same ballpark as your DD.  My DD (4th grade) is young for grade in a red-shirt heavy, high-performing district.  She's about right in grade for all but math, for which she has a double acceleration (6th grade math as a 4th grader).    My DS (kindergarten) is old for grade by cutoff dates, but middle of the pack in the class thanks to red shirting.  He has an informal double acceleration in math already, and we're going to have to start the conversation with the school about a grade skip if the school doesn't continue serving his reading needs.  Broadly, they seem to do quite well with reading differentiation, and so I anticipate he will meet appropriate challenges along the way.  A skip may also be something for us to consider if we're faced with a second grader in the school's gifted 4th grade class where he'd gain a 3rd year of math acceleration.

[ollyoxenfree]

Originally Posted by Geofizz 

Planning a grade skip after an early entrance is foolish without knowing how your child functions in school.  A grade skip is generally not the right solution if ( and that's a big if) the school can serve the kid's needs appropriately.  Often times skips help ease scheduling problems when a kid is radically accelerated in 1-2 subject areas.

Keep researching the various options in your area, not just at the school you are considering. There are accommodations that can be implemented in a regular classroom. You don't mention gifted programs, but if available, that's a path I would explore before choosing a grade skip. Since the school district offers free WISC testing, I wouldn't be surprised if they have a gifted program or path too. Why test if you have nothing to offer the students you identify as gifted? 

[beckylynn]

We are just going to do kindergarten early for now.  She enjoys her preschool at the moment and doesn't seem bored so I don't know why I'd rush it.  Not only that but she's in preschool 6 hours a week right now so I think a transition to 40 hours a week would be too much of a jump!  15 hours of half day kindergarten seems much more reasonable to me.

Thanks everyone for your input!

Becky