For those of you with older children, have you told them about the pregnancy yet? If so, what did they say or ask?
I told my three and a half year old son today -- I found out this morning that I'm having twins, so I told him, "Mommy has two babies in her tummy."
He got wide-eyed, and immediately asked, "How can they fit?" followed by "How did they get in there?" and the all-important, "What are their names?"
Oh those are some cute questions!! I have a 3 1/2 year old too and haven't told him yet. We had a loss at 21 weeks in August and it devastated my son. He was so excited to be a big brother and he talked to the baby everyday and when I told him that she had died, he melted. It has been 4 months and he still asks if baby Hazel is coming back, we always tell him that she isn't coming back, but you are still her big brother and that she will always be with him, and some day mama and papa will have another baby. I am just so nervous to tell him, cause what if..... I feel totally different this pregnancy, everything feels good, but I still have this protective instinct to keep him from getting hurt again. I am not sure what to do. I am about 8 weeks now and have a midwife appointment on Thursday, I will see what she thinks too.
Oh, that is so sad, Shannon. I had a very early miscarriage back in July (7 weeks), but I can't even imagine how terrible it would be to lose a baby later in the pregnancy. I had told my son about the earlier pregnancy, but it hadn't sunk in for him and he quickly stopped asking about it. I felt really confident this time because we heard the heartbeats at my appointment this morning. Fingers crossed for healthy pregnancies for both of us this time.
Cecilia doesn't understand it yet, but she likes to say "baby!!" when I ask her if she wants us to have a baby.
Badger is 3 1/2, and he's just beside himself with excitement. He tells me I'm having a girl, and keeps coming up with names for her. He always wants to kiss the baby, and whisper to the baby, and talk about what I'm eating and whether the baby likes it. I am praying that I make it through healthy, because he'd be heartbroken if there ends up not being a baby.
Such sweet responses to your twin news by your little boy, Tess!
We haven't told our kids yet (I have a 4 1/2 year old and a 2 year old) - because I live in an apartment above my workplace (a big overseas school) and it's a small world. My boss lives 2 floors down and it's been tough keeping the news secret (we are good friends with him and his family) - so we definitely can't tell our son until we leave for winter break (which is only a bit over a week away!).
I'm so excited to do so - he's going to be thrilled! Our daughter (2) won't understand until I start getting a bit bigger, but my son will get it right away. He's been mentioning that we should have more kids and often tells us that we should have at least 4 babies, maybe more. (Luckily, we agree!)
This morning, he snuck into bed with us after he woke up and he said this, "Mommy, I've loved you my whole life! I'm so glad you and Daddy marry. Then you found some kids and they are Leo and Rosie and you kept us! I love Rosie too. We all love Rosie a lot."
Then he gave me what he called some - "Nice kisses."
I pretty much thought I'd died and gone to heaven.
I too also want to be careful because if we lose the baby, it will make Leo very sad... but in the end, I also feel like he would want to share in that with us. He's prayed with us for all of our friends who've had losses - and some pretty significant ones - and he's learning through it what death is, what loss is, and how to cope with sadness... those are not easy lessons, but ones that are good to learn in the context of a loving family.
Congrats Monte on twins!!
This morning, he snuck into bed with us after he woke up and he said this, "Mommy, I've loved you my whole life! I'm so glad you and Daddy marry. Then you found some kids and they are Leo and Rosie and you kept us! I love Rosie too. We all love Rosie a lot."
That made me tear up. How sweet!
Those are some sweet stories, Fox and Lizbiz.
Charlie has become somewhat fixated on the babies' names. He keeps telling me, "We have to figure out what them's names is, because we don't even know what them is called." LOL! A child after my own heart -- I am totally obsessed with baby names.
Those are all sweet stories about the kids being excited and happy.
I am sorry to hear about the experience with losses. That really is another element to consider...as in how would a loss affect the kids.
My kids seem fine. I wouldn't say they are excited, b/c prior to getting pregnant, if asked if they wanted a sibling, they both always gave a resounding. "NO!" But they are not unhappy now that it's happening.
They seem most concerned about boy names. I'm pretty solid on that it's a girl and she has a name. But the boys, want to keep the brother option open and talk boy names, so we do.
We mainly talk a lot about how she's growing inside of me. Every week we look at development pictures and talk about how she has arms and legs now. All that kind of stuff. It's been a great learning experience.
My first appt is not for another 2 weeks, and I will be 10 weeks along by then. I'd really like to hear a heartbeat... that is have some confirmation OTHER than morning sickness that there's a healthy pregnancy going on inside!
My DD, who is 4, is constantly asking about getting a baby sister. She is really, really, dying for a baby sister. She is going to be heartbroken if she finds out she is getting a new baby, and its a boy! I wish I could find out at my 10 week appointment what we are having so I could share both pieces of news at once. On the other hand, if we end up having a boy, at least she gets the 8 weeks between when we tell her, and when we have the ultrasound to hope that its a girl 
DS is 16 months, so won't get this for a while, but both yesterday and today, he went into his sister's room, sat in her little flower chair with one of her baby dolls, and and then snuggled and kissed it. So adorable! I wonder if he senses another baby?
I haven't told my kids yet at all. I'm hesitant for a few reasons. My oldest ratted me out at 16 weeks with family last time.... so there is a lack of trust there. I'm worried he'd tell again before I'm ready to share. I also keep going back and forth with my feelings, is this one going to stick... or not. So I'd rather wait a bit longer before announcing to everybody. :)
I too also want to be careful because if we lose the baby, it will make Leo very sad... but in the end, I also feel like he would want to share in that with us. He's prayed with us for all of our friends who've had losses - and some pretty significant ones - and he's learning through it what death is, what loss is, and how to cope with sadness... those are not easy lessons, but ones that are good to learn in the context of a loving family.
I totally feel you on this. I was really afraid to tell my son (he's 2 1/2) about this pregnancy because my loss in October really affected him. I actually think he was the most affected out of all of us. In any case, I still told him. I was going to wait until I heard a heartbeat, but decided that I'd let him know about a loss and he might as well be excited for now about a baby and not just hear about the loss. I thought that would be worse...he would feel some sort of betrayal at not being told about the pregnancy in the first place.
It's was also hard to hide it from him. I stay home with him all day and when I'm sick, he gets very concerned. Telling him that I had the flu probably wouldn't work for too long.
My SO and I sat him down on the couch and told him when I was about 5 weeks. His face erupted into a gigantic grin and he said that he was really happy. He then gave me a giant hug and kiss. It was super sweet. Since then, he's shown some concern about the baby dying again, but he doesn't seem to dwell at all. I just hope that everything works out this time around. I hate breaking his poor little heart!
I told the kids a couple weeks ago, they're 5yrs, 3.5yrs and 1.5yrs. The older two have been pestering me about having another baby for awhile now, so they were quite excited. They are also very excited about the whole "it's a big secret!" aspect, and to see how long they can keep the secret.
Their first questions were "When will the baby come out??" and "What are we going to name the baby?".
Suddenly they both blurted out "Sam!". And now they keep referring to the baby as Sam. I have absolutely no idea where that came from, but it's cute :) definitely won't be our final decision lol
Oh and the 1.5yr old is oblivious.
5 yo DD walked into the bathroom and saw the test on the counter and asked me what it was -- so she found out about 2 minutes after I did! She jumped up and down and clapped her hands 
She's been asking for a sibling for a couple of years and we'd been TTC for 9 months so I was happy to share the good news with her right away, my husband was also out of town so it was fun to have some one to celebrate with . We had a prior loss but she was only 2 yo and unaware of what happened. I am moving forward with hope & faith that this is a healthy, sticky baby. I will finally get a chance to hear the heartbeat next Thursday -- that day could not come fast enough for me!
DD rubs my belly every day and says how much she loves our baby. I share with her the weekly development pictures and we talk about what a miracle it is that we all start out so small. She requested that we get out her baby clothes to look at while we are home together this week end and I'm really looking forward to that.
I have a 23 month old. We haven't told her yet, although have mentioned my pregancy to each other when she is around (which we should probably stop doing if we are not going to say anything to her directly, although so far she seems completely oblivious, and we use words like pregancy and embryo that I don't think she understands). I'm reluctant to tell her yet, since I do worry about loss (we are just 6 weeks today), and I just think she is probably too young to really get it this far in advance. Right now I'm thinking of waiting until I am showing to start talking with her about it. But I don't know. And tonight we are going to my parents for a family dinner, and planning on telling my family then, so I feel like she may pick up on something, whatever our intentions.
Any tips for dealing with this with a young two?
My son just turned 3 and I told him that mommy wasn't feelng well because she was growing a baby in her belly like miss Toni (one of his daycare provider's just had a baby so he experienced the whole pregnancy thing). He got a serious and said "mommy can I see the baby now?" and then tried to lift my shirt to see if he could somehow see the baby in my belly. I tried to explain that the baby was inside and we wouldn't be able to see him until he was born. He then reassured me that he wouldn't hurt my belly (this was a big thing at daycare, making sure the other kids didn't jump or run into miss toni's belly and I thought it was so sweet that he thought to be careful around me) Then he gave me a kiss saying I make you feel better mommy you come play with me now. That kid is so adorable. I love hearing what everyone's LO's say.
Gah! I mentioned the possibility of me having another baby to my boy that's turning three tomorrow. He looked up and said "maybe the baby will die". I expected him to say "no, I don't want you to have another baby". But I didn't expect that! He said "you know, everyone dies someday" next. He might be picking up on my tentativeness about this pregnancy. I had an ultrasound today and was almost expecting her to say there was no heartbeat (we already saw one a couple of weeks ago). But mostly, I think he just doesn't want to stop being the baby. He LOVES being the baby!!
Ainh, I'm so sorry you got that reaction! They really don't understand the concepts of pregancy or death at that age, I'm sure that losing his place as the baby is exactly what's on his mind.
I worry about that with Badger, too. He's very excited now, but he's never really been around young babies and doesn't know how much attention they take. He's a very labor intensive kid, always needing to be at the center of things, and I wonder how he'll feel when someone else has to share the center with him. We're going to have to work hard to give the baby what she needs while not neglecting Badger's needs. Thankfully he has three parents (he's my ex's son, not my current husband's) so we have an extra hand to help us with that.
My son who is 8 is only concerned with us having a boy, he was disappointed when Faith came out and was a girl! Seraphim, my 3.5 year old was super excited and said "I'm having a baby in my tummy too! I'm having 2 babies and they're girls!" Faith caught on and pretends that she also has a baby in her tummy. For a while Seraphim kept saying I was having twins, I was starting to wonder, that is, till she said mommy the twins are growing, then patted my breasts!!! I show the girls the different pics of the baby at each week and every time Seraphim asks me if that's her baby in her tummy : ) Too cute!
Christsavesall- We are really using this is a teaching opp. as well. Showing them the baby's development throughout all the stages. We even started at the point when she was just a cluster of cells. Each week, we get our book out and see the new things that are developed. They were pretty excited when last week, the picture of the baby had some arms and legs with hand/feet buds. also that fact that she looked less alien. lol And then we talk about size. So last week was a grape. We also talk about the changes to my body. My breasts are already huge, so we talk about how that's so I produce mama milk and feed the baby, just like I did for them. I'm really loving this and finding it greatly bonds all of us to the pregnancy and baby. And it's just a super fantastic learning experience!
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