If you start washing with baking soda it will help keep the oil in check. You should not have to use wax if you are willing to look 'nappy' for a couple of months. Nice dreads are very clean, the hair has to be clean to lock together. If there is dirt in the cuticle of the hair shaft it will not actually loc it will just stick together till the dirt is washed off.
You could start to rough up your hair shafts now before you dread it by spraying it with sea salt.
Try to convince your husband that dreads are clean and if he wants to make sure you'se are clean he can put them in for you to ensure their cleanseliness.. it's worth a shot;)
Since you want uniform locks it would be best to start by sectioning them off with brightly colored rubber bands. I say bright ones because that makes them easier to locate and remove after T&R or BC. You really don't need to go to a salon to do them, unless you want to. Dreading hair takes no special talent, even I can do it. So chances are your crunchy friends would be willing to help if you bribe them with something yummy, that's been my motivation for helping with locking hair several times:P Just have them watch a few you tube videos on twist and rip as well as backcomb and crochet.
The best things about dreads is that even if they don't get put in 'right' as long as you don't use wax or a dredperm they self correct and knot up anyways!