New Year, More Bajingo Juice! TTC#1 in our 30s - January 2012 - Page 3

[indie1976]

pitch and mexilady - just chiming in to say it's now 13 months since my miscarriage and still no baby for me. i finally gave in and made an appointment with an RE. i've been afraid of going the RE route because it feels like i'm giving in and saying "yes, i'm infertile" and that is such a yucky label to carry around. i've had several friends who have had miscarriages right before or right after me who have already gotten pregnant again AND had their baby. a nurse friend of mine made a good point though... she said the benefit of going to an RE is that their success depends on getting you pregnant... so they are much more invested in making it happen than a typical obgyn. at this point, i'm just ready for any and all the help i can get. i will be getting an hsg sometime around the 31st of January and i am petrified that i will get bad news.

mexilady - congrats on your job! what a wonderful way to distract yourself from ttc obsession!

[doularebekah]

TickleToes - HOORAY!!! That is amazing news! Sending lots and lots of sticky vibes your way :)

Pitch & Dandy - Ugh, seriously I wonder sometimes if doctors could only see themselves they might realise how clinical they can be. I get that they see multiple patients a day, but it's so important for each of us to be treated like a person and not a number! I'm sure I'm sometimes guilty of this as a teacher, but I try really hard to remember that each question is really important to that kid (even if 15 kids have already asked the same thing) because it makes a world of difference not only to them but also for me as I have happy students! Anyway Pitch, I so hope you get some good conclusive results soon, while it's a little scary and nerve wracking I'm sure it's going to be good to have a better idea of what's going on so you can put an action plan in place. Crossing my fingers for you, keep us posted!

lilac - I hear you with the cramps, and it's the worst :( I hope you're having a bit of a restful time while AF is here to get you nice and recharged for this cycle!

LivingSky - Exciting times! Fingers crossed!

Mexilady - Congrats on the new job! That sounds like a really great opportunity, and that it will help you to be in a good head space this cycle. While I initially thought it would be hard for me to get pregnant due to PCOS, etc, after getting pregnant on our first try I was totally on the fertile myrtle bandwagon, too! It is a bit of a hard come down from there, assuming that it's going to be easy and finding out it's not and you're not in any real kind of control. I keep thinking, 'What if that was our one shot?' which is totally unhelpful and negative but there you go. 

AFM - AF looks like she's on the way out, I swear my periods are getting shorter. I've booked myself in to the Dr for thyroid stuff and am planning on flushing, detoxing and generally getting nice and healthy this month so I feel like I'm in the best place possible to actively try again next cycle. 

[TickleToes]

Thanks, ladies! I'm feeling a little more excited today... another temp jump helped with that. I'm hoping that my second set of blood tests come back with much higher levels of hcg. They are checking my progesterone too. I should have those results tomorrow.

Pitch... I'm totally using "TickleBean" as a nickname now... I love it!

There really should be separate waiting areas for women who are grieving and/or struggling. Sometimes the way they set things up just don't take people's feelings into account at all. I'm glad you are moving forward with looking into things. I know that I felt much better about going through the process with the little bit of preliminary fertility testing that we had done. It felt a little empowering for me to know that I was taking action. I wish "they" (whoever they are) would teach women more about the realities of TTC. We were also overly cocky and confident about it when we made the decision to start trying. I never would have believed it if someone had told me that it would take more than a year and a half, two losses, and a ton of anxiety with this pregnancy. I hope that the tests go well and you feel good about whatever the results bring.
 

For all my fellow teachers.... I applied for the Terri Lynne Lokoff National Child Care Teacher Awards in December and got a phone call today announcing that I am a winner! I get $500 to spend on an enrichment project for my classroom and a cash award for myself. And I placed in the top ten - so they are paying for me to fly out to the awards ceremony in April and I have a chance to be named National Child Care Teacher of the Year!!! I am so excited!

Wishing everyone the best!

[lilacvioletiris]

That is so cool, TT!  Hope those test results come back higher and higher!  I just chart stalked you and I would say that is a VERY NICE temp jump! 

AFM: waiting through AF.  Hoping for a snow day.

EDIT:  This was my 500th post!  A new milestone in MDC for me!

[lilacvioletiris]

No snow day!  Off to school I go!

[TickleToes]

I'm freaking a bit and would appreciate quick help is anyone is able...

My blood test results came in. I had to call for them (again). The doc hadn't signed off on them, and I didn't get to talk with her because she is out of the office today. The nurse or receptionist that I spoke to gave me my numbers and said she guessed I'm in a "wait and see" period. My hcg went from 27 on Tuesday to 107.9 Thursday... so I think that is good. But me progeterone is 8.51... isn't that low? If so, I wnat a supplement now!! Its a bloody holiday weekend and I might not be able to afford to wait those extra days until the doctor gets around to looking at my test results. 

Do you all know anything about progesterone levels and supplements? If I need a supplement, I want it right away... I don't even know who to begin calling if my OB isn't available to prescribe it. 

[Shell77]

Tickletoes : I would call the nurse back and ask her to check with the doctor... I would plead for some Progestrone suppositories or something... if not you can get the progesterone cream over the counter.... I hope that helps!! and your levels are not that low , so chin up :-)  Ive had friends that their levels were 4.2  and even 3.1 ... and with extra progestrone supplements they had / and are having a normal pregnancy  :-) prayng for you. Sticky baby thoughts and prayers

[ericaf]

Haven't noticed this thread was up... haha... I was wondering why the other one was lit up when I signed in! Sooooooo, I think I asked this on the old thread but... lilac: How do you feel on your thryoid meds? And different? Better??

Tickletoes: I posted this on the Graduates thread, but I'm gonna say it here too: I don't know what your Dr wants your # to be, but my Dr medicates if it's below 10. Don't panic, but I'd call and torture them and be pushy until you get what you want. If not just to make you feel better. I think it's worth the peace of mind. You HCG is lovely too!

[mexilady]

Tickle- Even if your Dr. is out for the weekend, there should be someone on call that you can reach from the practice. I would def insist on getting in touch with one of them today. Progesterone is not super low, but it might bring piece of mind to get some supplements. HCG looks very good! Be assertive, and good luck. Sending prayers and good vibes.

[doularebekah]

Tickle - Ugh, it's so rough not having your dr to talk to, it just makes it that much easier to freak out! That said, your HCG sounds really great and while your progesterone is maybe a little low, it's not crazy low. I do agree with the other ladies that you could still try to get a supplement, even if it's the over the counter stuff, just for your own piece of mind (which is important!) if not because you actually need it. If that makes sense? You totally have the right to ask for what you need. I also wanted to say congratulations on winning the teaching award, that's so awesome! Do you have any ideas for what you'd like to do for the enrichment project?

[nemrac917]

A lot of good news in the days since I last lurked!  I'm just waiting for ovulation and then we'll see if the supplements help lengthen my Luteal Phase this cycle.  If not, I'll be calling the doc and seeing if he'll be willing to start me on progesterone without having to wait for the typical "try for a year before treatment" thing.  OPKs are still stark, white negative, but my CF is starting to get a little stretchier and more clear.  Hopefully something this week will be "O" day, then I can start the 2ww again.

[lilacvioletiris]

TT, your temp this morning looks good.  I would definitely, based on others recommendations since I have no experience what so ever with progesterone, contact someone at the dr.'s office or get the OTC progesterone that is available.

ericaf, I feel more energetic on the thyroid meds, my LP was longer, my EWCM showed up earlier (even though it still lasted a long time).  On a thread with other hypothyroid individuals they said it can take 2 or 3 months before positive things happen since it takes so long for therapeutic amounts of thyroid med to actually be in my system, so I will continue to wait and see.

AFM, woke up with a sore throat.  Yuck.  Going to gargle with some salt water. 

[TickleToes]

Pink on the toilet paper when I wiped. Lower back ache and period like cramps since yesterday. I'm afraid it's happening again.. 

[lilacvioletiris]

TT, oh i am praying you can get through to your doctor to get some progesterone.  Ugh. 

[pitchounette]

TT, I'm sending you a PM, but want to say that we are all here for you, and we all want the very best for you.  You're an inspiration to me---as a fellow teacher, wife, and as a mother to precious unborn spirits that were part of our bodies for a short while but always living in our hearts.  You've shown me how to grieve my loss with grace and honesty.  You are a strong and beautiful person.  I am hoping for the best and that life will prevail.  Love you friend. 

It seems like a lot of us are working so hard  right now to get pregnant---dandy, mexilady, lilac, doula, indie, and others---and IT'S JUST NOT FAIR. 

Waiting for AF to show up, all the symptoms are here and I can feel my body prepping for it.  Feeling wistful and nostalgic for the days when I just lived my life, and did not count the days in "DPOs" or "CDs", and woke up in the morning without my first thought being a temperature reading, and enjoyed making love to my husband without feeling pressure to conceive......I feel like my body is betraying me every month that I bleed. 

This will all be worth it one day.......right??

[lilacvioletiris]

Yes, I believe someday this will be all worth it.  How to deal with the pressure without going over the edge is what I struggle with each day.  I know TT decided back in the summer to discontinue being part of a dancing committee she was on.  It was a good thing, but it wasn't best for her.  What are good things I do that aren't best?  How do I drop those things to do what is best for my family?

TT, sending you positive thoughts and prayers for you and your DH.

[dandylez]

TT I hope you're doing okay! Thinking about you, and keeping my fingers crossed for a positive outcome.  Hang in there!

[TickleToes]

I think I'm okay now. Maybe it was just some implantation spotting or something - the normal stuff I'm not supposed to get worked up over. Having lost two pregnancies this early on, both starting with back pain and cramps and one with spotting like yesterday, I am going to freak out. I feel a bit robbed of the ability to just sit back and enjoy this. 

The pink turned a faint brown and I haven't seen anything the last two times I went to the toilet today. My back pain and cramps have eased up too. Last night I was convinced that I was miscarrying again. I don't know how to put that fear behind me..

[TickleToes]

I think I'm okay now. Maybe it was just some implantation spotting or something - the normal stuff I'm not supposed to get worked up over. Having lost two pregnancies this early on, both starting with back pain and cramps and one with spotting like yesterday, I am going to freak out. I feel a bit robbed of the ability to just sit back and enjoy this. 

The pink turned a faint brown and I haven't seen anything the last two times I went to the toilet today. My back pain and cramps have eased up too. Last night I was convinced that I was miscarrying again. I don't know how to put that fear behind me..

[TickleToes]

Originally Posted by pitchounette 

TT, I'm sending you a PM, but want to say that we are all here for you, and we all want the very best for you.  You're an inspiration to me---as a fellow teacher, wife, and as a mother to precious unborn spirits that were part of our bodies for a short while but always living in our hearts.  You've shown me how to grieve my loss with grace and honesty.  You are a strong and beautiful person.  I am hoping for the best and that life will prevail.  Love you friend. 

It seems like a lot of us are working so hard  right now to get pregnant---dandy, mexilady, lilac, doula, indie, and others---and IT'S JUST NOT FAIR. 

Waiting for AF to show up, all the symptoms are here and I can feel my body prepping for it.  Feeling wistful and nostalgic for the days when I just lived my life, and did not count the days in "DPOs" or "CDs", and woke up in the morning without my first thought being a temperature reading, and enjoyed making love to my husband without feeling pressure to conceive......I feel like my body is betraying me every month that I bleed. 

This will all be worth it one day.......right??

Pitch, my friend, you made me cry - but in a good way... I can't read your PM because my iPad doesn't seem to like the inbox here, but I will read it later when I get up and moving around for the day. You are right, it doesn't seem fair at all that some work so hard to become parents while others seem to stumble into it. All the hard work and grief will be worth it though. (hugs) Love you!

Lilac- cutting out the dance board has been so good for me. I highly recommend stepping back from anything you are able to. 

Thanks for all the good thoughts, both here and in the other thread. Love you all!