For those who work full time and have young children, do you enjoy going to work?
I work full time and have two children, 4 and 7. I went back to work when both were 11 months old, both have been in full time daycare centres since then until they started school. My husband also works full time, however he makes very little and he works M-F afternoon/evening shift so I have no co-parent during the week basically. He will never leave his job as he wants to keep his pension (another whole topic), I am the primary breadwinner, pay our mortgage, our cars, our trips, pay for everything for the kids (clothing, activities, birthdays, gifts, etc.). He just pays a portion of our expenses, and for his own gas, clothing, etc.
I have been in my field for 15 years, and at my current job for nearly 7 years. I wake up in the morning and dread going to work. I resent having to work full time, I hate my job and hate going to work. Part of it I know is the actual work I do and the work environment, I used to LOVE my prior 2 jobs (same type of work but different employers and awesome bosses, plus I could work long hours and I found all the travel fun, not stressful at all). But that was before I had kids. I started at this current job when I first went back to work after my first was born, and I hated it from the start. I wished I could have been home with him, and regret so much not being able to be home with my kids more. I hate the work, I find it so pointless when I'd rather be with my kids, or just doing things that "need" to get done like tidy the house, get groceries, clean, do errands, etc.
I have a good job in many ways - secure, great perks/benefits/time off, it pays extremely well, but it's in Senior Management and is VERY stressful, long hours and lots of travel, all of which stress me out. It's a "sweat shop" environment and I'm at the ceiling of my professional development there unless I am willing to move to another country, (which I've been asked to on numerous occasions but do not want to do). It's not rewarding, I wake up every single day with a feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach, I am miserable most days unless I know I have time off coming up.
What I can't fully figure out is whether it's really the job I hate, or if it's just working in general. I have thought about changing jobs, but I would have to give up a lot of perks and pay (my job is unique in my area) and/or add a longer commute, and I'm not convinced that a different job would be any better. Something has to change, but I don't know what. The cost of living is extremely high in our town, but I don't want to move too far from the limited support network I have to a lower-cost area. So I know I have to work, and I have to make decent money somehow, and I've worked my way "up" the ladder so it would feel weird to take a step too far back (and I'm not sure I could afford to). I'm just not sure if changing jobs will make a difference.
Just curious if others like going to work or dread going to work, or resent it? I used to wake up in the mornings and look forward to going in to work, and I really enjoyed what I did. Until I had kids. But that coincided with starting this job so I'm not sure what the real issues are. I have lost all interest in my work, I have become miserable and hate going in every day. And I mean really hate it, like I'm in tears more than once a week, I have panic attacks (that didn't exist over the holidays when I was home), and I've lost all motivation to do my work and spend many hours just staring blankly at my computer screen. I have felt like this once before when I had a job in University doing telemarketing for a newspaper and I felt like driving in to the the guardrail would be better than having to go in to work, crying all the way to work. I've had this thought many times on my way to work at this job, but I would never do that obviously. But the fact that I think it often enough tells me how much I hate it. I NEVER felt that way before I had kids.
What really struck me is that I just finished 10 days off over Christmas and I felt really happy for the first time in a very long time. I loved spending time with my kids just hanging out, and having time to do the things I needed to around the house etc. But I woke up very early this morning, my first day back with that feeling of dread and anxiety that I haven't felt in nearly two weeks, and I realize how miserable I am going to work every day, and how much I have LOVED being home with my boys. But that is not an option unfortunately.
I would do so much differently if I could go back in time...