Hello. I'm trying to find stories of people who've had positive, natural birth experiences in hospital.
I am having a really hard time getting over the fact that I am being forced to give birth in a hospital.
I am perfectly healthy, there are just no midwives available where I live, they were all booked by the time I contacted them at 6 weeks pregnant. I've been calling the midwives throughout the pregnancy in case there were any openings, but at 30 weeks, it's time for me to face reality and start finding a way to be ok with a hospital birth.
I made the mistake of asking one of the midwives' receptionists about alternative birth attendants (unregistered or lay midwives) that could help me learn enough to have a safe birth at home, and I was devestated when she called child services to report me. I was just asking for information! I almost certainly would have decided that an unassisted home birth is too risky for me anyway, but I am still so offended that I was reported just for trying to find out information about my options.
Anyway, I feel like I've gotten useless prenatal care from my doctor (I know I don't have high blood pressure or diabetes - since I'm healthy, there's really nothing else for him to say). I leave every appointment feeling so let down.
I just don't know how to get excited about giving birth in a hospital with some OB I won't even get to choose, I'll be lucky if I get to meet him / her beforehand. I've tried to learn everything I'll need to know to make informed choices but I'm afraid of being pushed into decisions I don't understand - I feel like this experience has been taken completely out of my hands.
If I try to question things, as I did when trying to find out options about homebirth, apparently I'll be called an unfit mother before I've even had my baby and they'll take her away. I heard the same thing about drops in the eyes - they report you to child services if you try to refuse (I don't know if I'd refuse those or not, but it would be good to feel like it's safe to ask). I don't even know who to ask about things like this and I'm afraid to ask the hospital about their policies. Not that it matters, I don't have a choice.
I am just so angry about feeling forced into a hospital and I want to know how to make it feel alright.