Was the Doctor wrong here?

[AFWife]

I took my son to his first doctor's appt the other day. He's 12mo and intact. (Long story on why it's the first appt)

Anyway, she got to the diaper part and I said, "He's intact..." and she smiled and said, "Okay!" She then put her hand on his penis and started to move his foreskin. I grabbed her and said, "Please don't retract him." She looked shocked (probably that I physically grabbed her) and said, "I would never do that. I'm just stretching out the skin" and showed me that she wasn't pulling it back but more like pulling it...out? I guess to check for sores or whatever (I've developed a bit of social anxiety over the past few years so piping up at that point was a little difficult for me...so I didn't ask )

I know I've heard (on here) that there's no reason to touch his penis ever...help?

[nd_deadhead]

I'm proud of you, AFWife! Perhaps she wanted to look at the opening, and she probably was going to be very gentle and not pull against any resistance, but there was no way for you to predict - you did exactly the right thing!

If you son isn't having any trouble urinating, there's really no reason to mess with his penis. Would the doctor fiddle around with a girl's labia? (I only have boys, I don't know, but I'm guessing not).

[AFWife]

Originally Posted by nd_deadhead 

I'm proud of you, AFWife! Perhaps she wanted to look at the opening, and she probably was going to be very gentle and not pull against any resistance, but there was no way for you to predict - you did exactly the right thing!

If you son isn't having any trouble urinating, there's really no reason to mess with his penis. Would the doctor fiddle around with a girl's labia? (I only have boys, I don't know, but I'm guessing not).

I just have boys and my first is circ'd so I really really have zero idea. 

It looked like she was checking the actual foreskin...maybe the opening. She didn't pull hard (no harder than we do while cleaning him during a diaper change or bath) and he didn't seem irritated by it or anything...I was just curious. We've had some redness but both of my boys are prone to rashes (they inherited my insanely sensitive skin)

Thanks. My heart STOPPED in my chest when she started messing with his penis. 

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

It isnt uncommon for Dr's do do what you described, while there is absolutely no need to do it they usually dont cause harm. The problem is that while 9 out of 10 times they are very gentle and cause no harm there is that 1 time when they do hurt the child and cause pain/damage so IMO it is better to just ask them to keep their hands off unless there is an issue and personally when ds did have an issue I refused to allow the Dr. to touch his penis. I was the one who raised it up so he could look at the bottom. But in that case I didnt trust this Dr as he had tried to retract ds in the past.

Now that ds is 7 and retractable I am not so worried but I was on my guard when he was younger and wasnt retractable because it is easier to stop damage from occurring than it is to fix it once it does.
Edited by MCatLvrMom2A&X - 1/5/12 at 10:10am

[AFWife]

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X 

It isnt uncommon for Dr's do do what you described, while there is absolutely no need to do it they usually dont cause harm. 

Then what the heck was she looking at???

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I have heard they are checking the urinary opening to make sure it is in the right spot but if it is off bad enough to cause issues the foreskin would be malformed.

I have also heard they are checking the urinary opening for scaring which they see a lot in circed boys but it dosnt happen with intact boys.

Personally I think it is because they are not taught all the much about the foreskin and what they are taught is what can go wrong so they are looking for problems because of that.

[Ron_Low]

It's perfectly reasonable to state when the diaper comes off "If you need to manipulate his penis let me know and I'll do it."  If they object, pack your stuff and leave. 

If the kid's old enough of course you'd say "If you need to manipulate his penis just let him know and he'll do it." 

-Ron

[tooraloora]

Not to hijack, but when is it no longer truly necessary for his bottoms to come off for a routine exam? What exactly do they NEED to check for in the diaper area? I'm kind of tired of acting like a dragon guarding her horde...

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

Ds is 7 and they still check his genitals. I have been able to relax a bit since he is retractable but I still dont like it since even thoug hhe is they could still hurt him if they pushed it back and it got stucke behind the glans.

They are actually looking for hernia's at this point but cant seem to stop themselves from grabbing at his penis while they are down there I dont mind the hernia checks that much since I dont know what to look for but I wish they would stop touching his penis.

[nd_deadhead]

My son has had inguinal hernias on both sides - trust me, you'll know when something is different - and since hernias can be very painful, your son will let you know (my son had one at 9 months).

I can see checking the opening of the urethra carefully ONE time, but if it's OK once, it isn't going to change - why keep looking at it?

[bandgeek]

I don't think DS has had his diaper/underwear area checked since he was about 18 months.  Since he's been about 6, they don't even ask him to undress to check his weight.  I guess once they are bigger the extra couple of lbs from clothes don't make much of a difference.  Or maybe I just have a laid back pedi?

[transylvania_mom]

Originally Posted by tooraloora 

Not to hijack, but when is it no longer truly necessary for his bottoms to come off for a routine exam? What exactly do they NEED to check for in the diaper area? I'm kind of tired of acting like a dragon guarding her horde...

It never happened with either ds or dd. It is not necessary.

The only times we took their diaper off was when we had questions about diaper rashes.

When ds was 4, we suspected an UTI. The doctor didn't even ask to see his private parts; he asked for an urine sample and sent it to the lab. Our doctor doesn't even know (or care) if ds is circumcised or not.

I live in Canada though, and all doctors are pretty much the same (in Ontario at least).

[mattemma04]

My ds is 9 and no one ever touched his penis but him.Your doctor was wrong and if you are otherwise ok with her just tell her to leave his penis alone during exams unless you are there specifically for a penis realted health problem.