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pelvic pressure and a soft cervix??

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 

So...my partner and I DTD today and afterwards I had a lot of pelvic floor pressure....like achy, pressure, felt like my vagina wanted to fall out. It's happened a little bit before but definitely felt much more intense this time, and lasted much longer. The baby was REALLY active, like kind of uncomfortable and felt kinda of spastic. I didnt think too much of it, mainly because I wasnt feeling anything that felt like contraction. but thought maybe i would check and see if anything was going on in my cervix....and now im a little concerned...it was pretty soft and squishy and i could definitely fit that pad of my middle finger (like definitely more than just my finger tip) into the opening. (it is my 3rd baby...but my cervix isnt normally that open)


i took a bath and things feel better now, but i'm a little nervous about how soft and open my cervix seemed. (I'm almost 18 weeks) am i just being paranoid or should i be worried?? if my cervix is starting to dilate for some reason is there anything they can do about it? it seems REALLY early for there to be much hope...even if they put me on bedrest I wonder if they could really keep things at bay long enough to give this baby a fighting chance...

post #2 of 8

I really have no idea, but I'd call and ask whoever your care provider is.  It would make me a little nervous too.


Although... since not many women are that familiar with their cervixes, maybe it's something that happens, but no one notices normally? Know what I mean.... Maybe we don't hear that sex can soften your cervix because "they" assume we would never figure it out in the first place?  I hope that's all it is.

post #3 of 8

I thought semen has prostaglandins in it that soften the cervix, and that's why DTD near the due date can get labor/dilation going. It doesnt seem weird to me that your cervix would be soft after DTD. Did it change after time?


However, if you are worried then DEF check with your care provider. Not worth the stress - get the reassurance you need. Let us know what they say!

post #4 of 8



Do you keep track of cervical changes during the month? Meaning, are you super duper familiar with your "lady sphincter"??  Because the fact that this is your third baby means that the OUTTER ring of your cervix is nice and stretchy and loose as compared to a lady who has had less "activity" down there.


I'm VERY squishy and soft and can fit WAY more than just the pad of my finger in there...like, I can kind of swirl my finger around...I've got a LOT of room for a finger, if ykwim! (sorry if TMI)


I am almost 19 weeks...and here's the thing about me....with all of my babies so far, by 30 weeks, I've got an extremely soft, barely there cervical neck, am not really dilated at all....but have a baby IN my vagina....like, as in, midwife making weird faces and being like "oh my god, you weren't kidding" - when she goes to "check me out" and gets about 1.5 inches into my vagina with a finger before she is hitting soliidddd baby head. I carry my babies like that for the last two months of pregnancy. IN my vagina. Must be why I have had a 97 minute birth and a 110 minute birth, you know?


So, I don't know if I just start "relaxing" down there a bit early, or what....but you may also be that way with this baby, you know?


Listen, if you are concerned, you should always talk to your care provider....I always say, the number one reason you should ever call your provider, is if you think you should call your provider.


Worst case scenario; extreme bed rest, a couple of different natural and/or synthetic remedies and proper monitoring...and your baby has got a much better shot than you might imagine, if the only problem is a somehow incompetent cervix. Don't stress about keeping your baby in...if they've got good enough lead time, they have a good shot at keeping your baby in. Your body dilating your cervix to try and get your baby out...not so good, but still, they can help you. But your cervix just kind of falling open....they can do a lot for that if they have enough time.


But baby, listen, your cervix is not just falling open. You're on your third baby...the chances of your cervix carrying two babies just fine and then just kind of crapping out on you for the third one....are just so so so small. Like, SERIOUSLY, I'd bet the farm that's not happening.


So, just to recap: I'm 18w5d with my third baby and my cervix is soft as is could possibly, POSSIBLY be, with an outter ring that is very loose that I can really swirl my entire finger tip around in and I can stick my finger very DEEP inside of this squishy, loose cervix....but at the top of that, we've BOTH still got a tight as fort knox inner cervical ring (not the proper terminology!), I promise! I also get cramping after sex and sometimes just randomly.


If it's concerning to you, I'd call my provider...always take heed at your own feeling of concern...but I would try not to worry too much, because I think it's really normal for a third+ baby.

post #5 of 8
I'm in agreement with Broody. If you feel AT ALL like there's something wrong, definitely definitely go in or call, but my cervix feels really soft, too, like to the point of being worrisome for me, but my doctor says it's absolutely fine. This is baby #4 for me.
post #6 of 8
Thread Starter 

Thanks for the feedback ladies...my midwife ending up calling me last night just to check in and wee how i was doing, so since i had her on the phone I told her what was up. she said there was no need to worry and told me to keep having sex as often as I'd like. 


All of the things you guys brought up made so much sense and definitely made me feel better. I agree, some of the softening may have been due to the prostaglandins, as that is part of their job later on. And yes, I think that most women don't have their fingers up there, and neither do the doctors at 18 weeks, so there isn't a ton of readily available information about what it's "supposed" to feel like right now.


Broody...what you brought up made a ton of sense. As I think back more clearly on what I felt it would definitely make sense that the outer cervix was squishy, stretchy and somewhat open and the inner os was tightly closed and hard. I remember feeling something hard inside the part of was super soft but being so freaked out that it was soft at all that I didn't think too much about what the hard part is.


I'm feeling much better today...no crampiness, no achyness...havent checked my cervix but also dont feel that i need to be poking around in there constantly. anyways...thanks for the thoughts and support...looks like everything is just fine :)

post #7 of 8

Very good, I'm glad your fears have been calmed.


I've spent a lot of time with my cervix over the last few years and check it throughout my cycle and throughout pregnancy...so I really, really know what's going on with her and have been able to follow the changes that multiple pregnancies/births have brought on. My cervix today, is a very different cervix than the one I was "feeling up" at this same point in my first pregnancy. Pushing a baby out really changes it! (changes a lot of things, doesn't it?!)


Good for you, for talking to your MW about it. Never any sense in NOT talking to her about something. I always just send mine a quick text...."heads up, what the hell is this shooting pain in my _____" - type stuff! I love being able to text her like that...I can stay in pretty regular contact without having to stop and talk on the phone or make an appointment...one of the perks of having a MW I suppose!

post #8 of 8

I feel that same sort of heaviness/droopiness down there after sex as well!

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