I have a 3.5 yr old boy who has taken to not speaking and I just can't take it anymore.
I have an 18m old girl and about 6 months ago he started imitating her. So whenever ANYTHING happens that isn't his way he cries and says "agua" (water) over and over again. Everyone says it is just regression but it is escalating and doesn't look like regression (we went through that about a year ago) it looks like control.Now he has taken to not speaking. just grunting and going limp.
For example: My son with playing with my daughters sensory blocks he left them arranged on the couch and went to play with other toys. 45 min later my daughter woke up from her nap and decided to rearrange the blocks. He came charging her and pushed her. I tried to get there in time but he pushed her off the couch with such force that she split her lip on the end table and fell on the floor. If it hadn't been for the dog bed she may have concussed. So my daughter is bleeding and crying, my son grabs the blocks and starts playing with them. While holding my daughter I say 'don't play with those you can't hurt your sister like that and then play with her toys. So he starts crying and yelling agua. I am trying to attend to the bleeding, crying baby and hugs and kisses that go along with it but he has grabbed my leg and I can't walk. So at this moment, what do I do?
I attended to my daughter and made sure I didn't have to call the pediatrician. When I go up to him to talk about this, he has gone limp, won't talk, and won't look at me. I try to talk to him but he walks away, If I stop him he cries or refuses to acknowledge me or anything I say. For a while I thought he was listening but he would do it again. I have tried time out...but he needs to be restrained and it is very difficult when I have an injured (physical or emotional) 18M old who wants to be held and restrain my son. I also don't think time out works when I put him in time out 15minutes after the offense. (am I wrong?)
Hours later when I ask him what he wants for lunch he refuses to speak. won't look at me, won't respond. He will grunt but I don't know if the grunts are yes or no. So I make whatever but then he cries because it wasn't what he wanted and it all starts all over again. I ask him what he wants to play...grunts or vocalizations. I ask him what he wants to...well, you get the idea. I understand I am the best rival but I don't know how to do this.
When my husband comes home, they talk and come to agreements all the time. My husband refers to it as 'selective moments of clarity' he also says the non verbal behavior is 'guilt and self hatred'
He isn't autistic. I worked with children with autism (but much older)...I know he isn't autistic.
He has been on antibiotics and I swear this has a lot to do with it...but it doesn't make sense (does it?)
He has been eating less and less...
These all look like control issues to me...how do I deal with this? books to read (that actually provide information)? how do I make him understand that there is power in words and control comes with using his words. How do I juggle the kids?
I should also say I am ISOLATED! I have no family...all my friends live at least 2 hours away and I haven't made any friends in the area...oh yea, I have complex ptsd which makes it very difficult in and of itself. So all in all I have zero support. My husband is great and awesome and does a lot when he's home...but what about 10am on a wednesday?
sorry this is so long I just don't know what to do...other then cry and remove myself when I get angry.
Any help would be greatly appreciated.